I sat all tensed trying to figure out what was going on in Rudra's mind. I looked at him through my peripheral vision and saw him sitting stiffly on the horse looking straight ahead. We soon reached a grove of ber trees. I looked straight ahead even when we had stopped, trying to ignore him.

It wasn't much of a grove by the usual standards but considering the sparse vegetation and the desert all around it was beautiful. I could hear splashing of water in a distance but did not want to show any curiosity as I was still annoyed.

He held my waist and lifted me down as if I was a child when I didn't take his offered hand to get down. I glared at him and then turned my back towards him unwilling to talk to him. He gently led me to the shadier and much cooler part of the grove after tying the horses to another shady tree.

"So you want to marry Suraj?" said Rudra in a cold steely voice.

My eyes went wide with surprise as I unwillingly turned around. I could make no sense out of what he said but kept quite.

"Don't be surprised that I know about it. I can see that you like him a lot and are always seeking his company"

"He is teaching me how to ride. What do you want him or me to do? Use a 'remote control' to control the horse" I said angrily glaring at him. I had enough of his mood swings and could not take it anymore.

He gaped at me, making me realize that again I had used the word 'remote control' in English. I had the tendency to revert back to the modern language when angered. Even the Rajasthani dialect I tried to adopt went for a toss.

"How do you suppose he can teach me to ride a horse if he does not accompany me?" I tried to explain to him calmly even though my anger had not subsided. It was no use arguing with a person who didn't understand what one said. I always considered myself a reasonable person who preferred to debate using reasonable arguments rather than holding shouting matches, no matter how much I wanted to.

"You never talk to me like that. I am your fiance." He tried to enforce that point again about us being engaged. This got my hackles up.

"Suraj sa is a sweet person and is never rude to me" I said leaving the part where I wanted to add 'unlike you'.

I knew where this conversation was leading to but I was not in a mood to give direct answers. If he had been a better person I might have been straight forward with him but call it my spitefulness or revenge that I wanted him to suffer the way I did.

"You can't marry him no matter how sweet he is" ordered Rudra.

"You promised me that..."I tried protested.

"No ... I said no" he growled at me, raising his palm up to silence me. I got a bit scared at his livid tone but held my ground, not willing to let him take advantage of my fears.

He saw my eyes narrow with mutiny so lowered his voice a little bit trying to sound reasonable.

"I did tell you that you could choose a person you like within this month to get married to, but I have already declared about our engagement to all. It would create a big scandal if I take back my words. Less for me and more for you" he pronounced each word slowly as if trying to pacify a child throwing tantrum.

"I didn't create this problem then why should I suffer. If it had been you in love then..." I rambled on wanting him to feel guilty, whichever way I could. I just didn't want to end the issue. I was still feeling dissatisfied by the fact that I had fallen in love with him so easily and he didn't even care.

"I would still have married you" he said cutting me short.

"Out of duty...?"

"Yes"

I knew the answer but it was the last stab in my heart. Now even if he declared that he loved me at a later date I could never believe him. I felt tears glisten in my eyes and put my head down to hide them.

"That means... I have to marry you" I asked softly, still not wanting to give clarification about the situation between me and Suraj. Somehow it had become the issue of pride or let me say ego for me. I wanted him to feel that he wasn't my first choice just like I wasn't his. I wanted him to feel that I was marrying him for the sake of duty too.

"Hmmm ... yes" he said.

"Alright" I said trying to stop the quiver in my voice.

He seemed to feel something wrong so looked down towards my bowed head.

"You are crying?" he exclaimed.

"No. I am not"

"Lekha..."he seemed to hesitate."I can understand you are upset at the turn of events. You would have liked to marry the man of your choice but I messed up everything for you."

I looked up at him surprised as it was the first time he had taken my name willingly, but kept silent.

"I can't promise you love... I mean ... I can't love you as in romance kind of love" He paused as if trying to organize the words he wanted to say. "But ... we can be friends. I mean I will take care of you and protect you. You will soon be family and family means the world to me. I will not be rude with you and also respect you"

Not the romantic kind of proposal I had thought I might get from the person I would marry one day but I most definitely was getting a bodyguard who offered to be friends as a compensation, I thought wryly. The last part I knew had been spoken by him keeping in mind what I had said earlier when comparing him with Suraj. I kept my silence still as was confused at the whole turn of events.

"I can understand you mourning for him but I want full fidelity from you from this moment onward and this applies to me too" he said in a cold voice like a declaration of sorts.

"Don't you want to say something?"

"Alright" I said softly, still not happy at the compromise.

"Lekha" he sighed as he rubbed his forehead as if tensed."I am not the kind of person anyone could fall in love with. You see my scar is ..."

"I don't care about your scar. It's a mark of your bravery. A medal you should wear proudly" I said quickly before he could demean himself in front of me, forgetting all the animosity I felt for him.

He looked surprised at me." Then you must be the first girl to feel so apart from my family"

"So would the people whose lives you saved. If people can't look past a few scars then it just goes to show their shallowness and should not be taken to heart. "I said suddenly coming to his defense against his own self depreciating thoughts.

He slowly smiled at me shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly.

"This is the grove Vasundhara wanted to show you. Maybe you can come here with her someday" he said changing the topic.

I realized how all of a sudden the things smoothed out between us and I agreed to be his friend without actually saying it. The fact that my feelings still remain unresolved did bother me but considering the fact that I might at last have some peaceful moments with him helped. I might have looked at everything in a different perspective had I been sure that I would never be able to leave this place and time. Right now the important thing for me was to have a good and protected life here, I thought practically.

The thoughts about my life after marriage did bother me but then according to traditions we could consummate our marriage only after gohna (girl leaving for her husbands house after reaching maturity), which would give me two years more to come up with something or disappear from his life forever. In a way I consoled myself that I would be alright being just his friend. My optimistic heart though tried to whisper to me that two years of friendship might lead to love, but I squashed the thought then and there itself. I would not break my heart again over him.

"Lekha... where were you lost. I was saying something" he said snapping his fingers in front of my face.

"Nothing "it came out rudely unintentionally.

"Now what..."he said in a frustrated tone, but then modulating his voice in a gentler tone he asked "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No. I am sorry I was just thinking something. Didn't mean to snap at you" I said.

"I know you must be still worried about Suraj. I will explain it to him and take the blame" he said.

"Oh no... don't talk about this to anyone. I will handle it all" I said not wanting him to realize that the affair between Suraj and me was actually a figment of his imagination.

He looked grimly at me but I couldn't look him in the eyes.

"I am again sorry Lekha. I ..." he said in a sad tone. Maybe he was thinking about the time he broke his heart.

In my hurry to stop him from feeling guilty about me I put my fingers on his lips in a reflexive action.

He looked at me surprised and before I could remove my hand he held my wrist in that position. I felt embarrassed by my rash action so looked down unable to meet his eyes which now stared at me intently.

I felt him kiss my fingers. I looked up at him surprised at his action, causing him to drop my hand as if burnt.

He turned around abruptly and said" I think it's time for us to return back"

I nodded my head still stunned by the kiss, forgetting that he could not see me.

"Alright "I said softly.

He helped me up the horse again in silence but I could see that he couldn't meet my eyes. I looked back at the grove wistfully wishing I could explore it more but I didn't think it was the best time to request for such a thing.