Kate

Purple. All I could see was purple. It was not the sort of experience I had expected. There was no sudden vision of my life flashing before my eyes. Time slowed down and all I saw...was purple.

Then suddenly the sky, the dock, everything around me was moving, jumping, spinning. All at once I was pulled back into purple. Everything sounded muffled and far away. Purple. I have an infinite amount of time in this purple world. I'm not afraid, there is no panic, no desperation. Everything is just...calm.

My eyes are open and I'm looking at the world around me, I feel like I'm spinning, Alessio is talking to me but he sounds so far away. Everything hurts.

I close my eyes and I hold onto this purple world. Where I feel nothing.

"Please."

I bob in and out between the two worlds. My head is spinning, my lungs are burning, my throat or sore, and my chest is throbbing.

"Please Katherine." His hand is on my leg, I can't feel anything except his hand on my leg, I'm trying to float away but his hand is so heavy.

In and out of consciousness. I don't know where I want to be. In this purple, or with Alessio.

I open my eyes to Alessio and now I can feel everything. "Ow." I whisper and my hands went around my body. "Ow." I say again but it comes out in a sob which only made things worse.

"Katherine?" He let out a breath of air, not a gasp but more like an exhale of relief. He sounded so surprised.

I try to sit up but moving hurt too much. I groaned softly. I opened my eyes and the world was whizzing past me. A car. We were in a car. I let my eyes roll back and closed them again.

"Talk to me. Tell me something, anything. What do you remember? When is your birthday? What year is it? Who am I?"

"Purple." I opened my eyes again and turned my head to look at him. I had apparently said the wrong thing because his jaw clenched. My throat was so scratchy, my lips were dry, I licked them before speaking again but it didn't seem to help. "Alessio."

His composure flickered and his hand on my leg squeezed. "Everything is going to be okay."

How could he say that? Say that everything is alright? Nothing was alright. He'd ruined everything.

"I-I didn't know how long...how long you'd been under if-"

If my brain was too damaged to be Kate anymore. If I was here only in body. I almost wished as much. I could add another tick to how many times I had heard Alessio shaken enough to stumble over his perfect words.

"We're almost home." He said calmness returning like he'd stepped into business. Alarming calmness always washed over him in the most fretful of situations, under gun fire, in war, watching me drown. Calmness he had been lacking moments ago when begging me to open my eyes.

"How long have I been out?" I tried to sit up more in my seat, grimacing at the surprising amount of pain in my core.

"Not really that long...I just. Well I was worried. How is your memory? Do you remember what happened?"

I turned my head to look out the window and closed my eyes. I remembered. Everything. Dante forcing me under the water while I struggled just to make his point, and then letting me go completely. I'd gone down in the water so quickly, I'd struggled and trashed about desperately trying to get freed from the ropes behind me. My chest was burning as I tried to hold my breath as long as possible and then all at once I couldn't hold it any longer. I stopped holding my breath, and I opened my eyes. And all I saw.

"Purple." I muttered.

"What?"

"I, oh nothing." Time down there seemed infinite. I was in an entirely different world.

"Katherine, do you remember?"

"Dante. Drugged me. Drowned me..."

Alessio gave my leg another squeeze and this time held it longer. "I was worried about you. Lack of oxygen I...I wasn't sure how you would be...when you woke."

It was when of those rare moments when his voice quivered with emotion, where I could feel his very thoughts crawling off his hand and on to me. Had I ever heard him with so much emotion when I didn't almost die? Had I ever felt the emotion seep from him to me when I was in good health and spirit?

"You are alright, aren't you?" He questioned when I made no response.

I didn't answer. I looked out the window again. He was driving far too fast.

"We're almost home, then you can go to sleep as soon as Doc is finished up with you."

If it wouldn't have been so painful I might have sighed heavily at this. There was something I wouldn't be sitting down with Doc.

I closed my eyes for the remainder of our short ride. When we arrived back he came to a screeching halt which jerked me forward. I winced but didn't complain. He got out and came to my side of the car, opened the door for me. "Just go slow." He warned me and carefully turned me in my seat to face the open door.

"I'm fine." I insisted and he took my hand. My fine was quickly replaced with a groaning, "Oh my God." As he helped me from the car.

"I may have fractured a rib or two." He warned, too little too late. He brushed my hair back and kissed my cheek as I straightened. When my feet were finally under me and I didn't seem to be falling I did the most reasonable thing a girl possibly could have in this situation.

I slapped Alessio as hard as I possibly could.

The action made me want to cry, but I fought with all of my strength not too. His mouth hung open and he put his hand to his cheek for a moment too stunned to say anything. He finally closed his mouth and when he opened it to speak again I slapped him on the other side and began storming, as best I could, away.

"Katherine." He said sharply and quickly cut in front of me, it was at this point I noticed that he wasn't even wearing any shoes. "Where are you going, stop, you need to be seen by a doctor right now."

"You lied to me." I hissed.

He looked baffled for a few moments, in those moments I stepped past him and back down the drive way.

Alessio regained his composure quickly and was at my side easily keeping my stride. "I know baby, I know that and we will talk about that, but you need to see a doctor first. We need to make sure you are okay before anything. You understand that right? Your safety comes first Katherine. What happened with Ari and I-"

I stopped abruptly and turned to face him. "Why did Dante take me Alessio?"

"Because he's a rat bastard who can't handle a real fight on his own and would rather make his point sneaking around and picking on little girls than face me like a man." He said simply and put his jacket around my shoulders. It did little good as it too was wet.

"And why would he be facing you?" I rolled my eyes and pushed the jacket off.

He calmly bent over and picked the jacket back up. "Please Katherine, you're soaking wet, you must be cold."

I was shaking, but I was sure the weather had nothing to do with it. "Tell me." I demanded.

"I don't know what you're looking to hear me say Katherine."

"One word." I said sharply. He was quiet for a few moments so I finished for him. "Mafia."

"What about the mafia?"

I scoffed and painful scoff and started down the driveway again.

At the bottom was Sergio leaning against his truck smoking a cigarette and playing on his phone. Ugo had told him to stick around, with Aria not at the Moretti estate he really didn't have anywhere else to go to disobey.

"Katherine." Alessio said behind me.

I stopped and turned around to face him furiously. "You lied to me!" I yelled and then put a hand to my aching chest.

Alessio's eyes followed my hand and then looked back to my face. "Easy."

"No! You lied. We had a deal! I came here with you, and you were supposed to give up the mafia!"

"What?" He seemed stunned. Everything he had anticipated me to rage about was probably centered around Aria, being attacked and blaming him, this had thrown him off.

"You know I could have forgiven you for cheating on me Alessio. I maybe even could have gotten past you lying about who she was. I mean I might not have wanted to marry you next month but we could have worked through it in time, with honesty. But all you do is lie. Everything you do is lie, I don't even know who you are, how many brothers or sisters you may have, maybe you have a few kids floating around for all I know! God knows I can't trust your word on it!"

"Calm down, you are upset, and I hear you Katherine I do but right now-"

"I gave up everything for you!" I slapped his hands away when he reached out to me. "I gave up my career, my house, my friends, family-"

"That pig you were always sneaking around with?"

"Everything. Every single thing in my life I gave up for you, to be here with you. To start over completely with you. Here we are in your home country with your family, in a house you chose, I have nothing, and no one, and the only thing I needed from you was to leave the mafia. You promised me."

"It's not as though I planned this. My father asked me to-"

"I asked you to." I snapped back.

"Alright Katherine. You've made your point. Now come inside. You drowned. Literally. Drowned, you need to be seen by a doctor. This is nonnegotiable. You can yell at me, and scream at me, and hurl whatever it is at my head that you want to after we make sure you are okay. I need to know you are okay."

I turned and walked the rest of the short way to Sergio. I plucked the cigarette from his mouth and put it between my own lips. I inhaled and put my hand to my chest again. Breathing in general was a bad idea but a heavy inhale probably wasn't in my best interest. "I need a ride." I informed Sergio as firmly as I could.

"Erm, alright." He opened the passenger's door for me. "To where?"

"The airport." I said simply and took a much smaller, gentle puff on the cigarette.

Alessio reached past Sergio and slammed the door. "The hell you do."

Sergio glanced from me to Alessio and then back to me. "I'm really not up for another round if this is where this is headed."

"I'm going home." I said sharply and pulled the door open again.

He slammed it shut once more and left his hand on it so I couldn't open it again from this position he was leaning over me. "This is your home. Come inside Katherine, you're shaking all over." He moved his hand from the door and took me by the elbow.

I pulled away swiftly and slapped him again, and then shoved him, and shoved him again. "You've ruined everything!" I yelled and turned around again. I pulled the car door open gently as my chest was throbbing and I thought perhaps keeping my movements small and gentle might be in my best interest.

"So what then? You're just leaving?" Alessio demanded. "I gave you a ring and you gave me your word." He raised his voice, an unusual thing for him to do.

I turned around to face him again and he seemed surprised. "My word? Alessio this entire engagement was based off of nothing but lies." I breathed and fought at tears. "You think I want it to end like this?"

"So your word is shit then?"

"You told me you were done Alessio. I believed you. We had a wonderful few months traveling, no one had pointed a gun to our heads, no one had tried to break into our rentals or put a bomb in our car. I can't. I cannot. I won't do this again."

"Katherine-" He started sharply.

"Will you? Will you leave? Hang up your Tommy and your Fedora for me?"

"Yes. God yes, I want nothing but you but it's, it's not that easy. My father-" He stopped abruptly when I pulled the ring off my finger and held it out to him. He didn't move and I finally threw it at his feet.

I climbed into the truck and Sergio shut the door for me. He gave Alessio a shrug and came around to the drivers side. He climbed in the truck and started the engine. It was the switch Alessio needed.

Alessio darted forward and smacked his hand off my window. I kept my gaze straight ahead fighting hard at tears. When I refused to open my window Alessio came around to Sergio's side.

"Please. Don't." I whispered to Sergio.

Alessio smacked the window a few times and when Sergio didn't open it he pulled his gun out and tapped the window twice with his pistol. Sergio sighed and wound the window down.

"Katherine I am sorry you got hurt. I love you. I understand you're upset and scared but I will always protect you. You don't need to be scared. As long as you're with me I'll take care of you. Alright? I'm sorry this happened, please, get out of the car so Doc can look at you."

I turned to glare at him. "If you think this is about me getting hurt you know even less about me than I thought." I snapped and looked forward again. Determined to ignore him completely.

"I don't understand then." Alessio muttered.

Of course he didn't. I shouldn't have to tell him.

"Katherine...please." The desperation in his voice, desperation thicker than anything I had ever heard. It shot straight through to my heart and killed me.

I turned around to face him, no longer able to stop the heavy stream of tears running down my face. "I held you as you were dying. Dying Alessio. I looked in your eyes and told you everything was going to be okay while you were bleeding out beneath me. I thought I was lying, Giovanni put a gun to my head and told me to move so he could kill you. Can you not understand how this was the single most terrifying moment of my life? And not because Giovanni had a gun to my head, because I knew I just knew you were dying. You were in the hospital for weeks, had months of physical therapy. How could you possibly want to put yourself in this kind of position again? How could you possibly put me into that position again? If you had died-" I could hardly get my words out through a strangled sob. "If you had died I...I...I don't know how I would ever go on. I've never cared if I got hurt, I cared about you. I can't be there when you die, I can't stand to lose you." I turned forward again. "I can't. I can't do it again. I cannot. I won't."

"So what? You'd rather just leave me to die alone? You'd rather read it in the obituaries or on the news? You'd rather let me die alone?"

I pulled myself together as best I could. Kept my focus straight ahead. Ignored Alessio completely. I couldn't. I would not. Giovanni shooting Alessio had been the worst moment of my entire life. I had lost several relatives, had wiped the hair from Nash's sweaty forehead as he recited the last rites, I had endured a lot. But Alessio nearly dying? It had traumatized me. I couldn't do it again. Any of it.

"Katherine!" He demanded my attention but I refused.

I thought back to the months after his injury. The months of physical therapy, the angry way he whipped the pressure ball as hard as he could out of frustration with his right hand when he couldn't get his left hand to squeeze.

"Please." He begged, his tactic changing dramatically in a way that my heart just could not accept. "You are my everything, my rose, please..."

I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth to stop its trembling, but even still did not look to him. If I did, I would never leave. And if I never left someday, I would hold Alessio's hand as he died. I had no doubt about this. And I couldn't do it. My own injuries I could withstand, but watching the one you love crumble to the ground, it was too much for me.

"I'm asking you. Please. Stay with me."

"Kate." Sergio said softly.

"Just drive." I breathed.

"Katherine!" Alessio yelled my name as Sergio shifted the truck into gear. Alessio kicked the side of the truck as Sergio pulled out. I watched him in the rearview put his hands to his head as if to keep it from exploding at any moment. I made it nearly to the end of the driveway before I broke into hysterics.

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TGIF! Almost, Friday is still a little over an hour away by my time but my bed is too tempting to stay up that late.

I've got to be honest, the trailer song, "Say Something" by A Great Big World was literally the song that inspired this chapter, yet one day the selected chapter song played and when the lyrics "when you go would you even have the guts to say goodbye" hit I was like yep. That's the song, so while both songs were a perfect fit in my opinion, MCR won this battle.

A lot have been asking how many chapters would be left and because I don't plot and map things out when I write, I'm really not sure. I am almost positive the book will not exceed 50 chapters so an ending is definitely creeping up on us sooner than we might realize.

Only comment I did want to make is A LOT of people commented on the last chapter angry with Alessio's calmness, but it is the same calmness that so many LOVED about him in book one. In the midst of drama he's always been eerily calm, remember the bad ass scene when he exited the blowing up warehouse walking while all of his men were running? Utter calmness on the several occasions he's killed someone, even one of his own men, we loved the scene when they casually put a body into a barrel of cement and talked love lives, or when Giovanni shot Alessio and he was bleeding out Alessio took what could have been his last breaths to call him some inappropriate names and to try to tell Kate everything would be okay. Alessio doesn't show panic, angry sure, jealousy of God yes, but panic in the midst of danger never. We all get something different from every story, I felt as though if I did anymore, panic, emotion wise, with Alessio it would not have been true to character, I had enough comments feeling otherwise making me think I probably should have done more and that's okay I can admit that. I won't change it in the middle of the story now because I don't want to throw anyone off but I did at least want to share my thoughts on it and defend Alessio.

Just a little. Cause he's still a little prick, I can't defend him TOO much (;

ANYWAY.

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