11.

I woke up with a frightened start.

The darkness was meant to help with the mind. If you were sleeping, none of the memories could touch you like they did when you were awake. The nightmares were just nightmares, the thoughts were the one's which kept you up at night. Real memories; real pain to feel.

As my heart beated harshly against my chest, I looked over at the time. It read three in the morning. With two hours sleep already, I felt groggy and my eye lids were heavy with the need to sleep.

I could smell Nick surrounding my senses. It calmed me down enough to gather my thoughts, however, all I wanted to do was sleep. Every time I closed my eye lids, the memories of what had happened came flying back.

I had spent years trying to forget and only one night had set me off in to space.

I didn't ever want to feel the way I did before.

With a new set of panic to the little girl I was before, I quickly scrambled out of bed in search for Nick.

I didn't know where he was or why he wasn't in bed asleep with me. I felt relieved I had him right now, he had taken extra care with me tonight especially when he was working.

Nick was like that, he didn't care what he was doing, he'd do anything for the people he cared about. Surprisingly, with the worrying thoughts in my mind, I still managed to smile. The thought of Nick caring for me when he really didn't have to made me feel all kinds of happy and giddy.

He didn't know how much it meant to me.

I padded through his hall and down to the living room. I couldn't hear a thing but the quiet background noise of the TV.

Finally, I saw Nick. He was sat on his sofa with his feet kicked back on to the coffee table; his usual position. He looked so relaxed from behind but as I rounded the coffee table, I came face to face with the haunted face of Nick Abel. The eye bags were prominent even through the human eye, his face contorted in to a frown.

A small note pad laid on his thighs and his hand moved quickly as he scribbled notes down on to a page. He hadn't realised I was there.

"Nick." My voice came out to gather his attention. He didn't stop his writing, but his eyes flickered to mine. His bright eyes were dull with tiredness, his eyes telling me just how shaken up he really was.

Was it because of what happened earlier?

"What's the matter?" I asked. I stood there in only one of his T-shirts and he hadn't even suggested anything. Even though the thought made me frown, I was secretly glad. I didn't think I was ready for that yet, especially when the memories were so raw.

With that, I slowly approached him, gauging his mood. His eyes followed my body around the coffee table and he leaned back in his seat as soon as I was perched on to his lap. I laid my head against his chest and curled in to a ball.

After a few seconds, Nick sighed and two large arms came around to wrap around my body.

"You're not acting like yourself." I stated. I wanted him to talk to me. I wanted to know what was really going on throughout his mind.

"You shouldn't be worrying about me." He came back. His voice was rough but it still held that authority and power it always did. It was also gentle, too, like he was talking to a child.

"I'm worrying because you're never this quiet." I stated. "I'm worried I've put you off me." It couldn't be all that sexy to see the girl you was dating on the floor panicking the way I did. Nothing was sexy about that, I couldn't help that. I hope Nick understood.

"Don't be fucking stupid." Nick snapped. I jumped at the boom of his voice. "I'm a lot of things but I'm not heartless. What I saw earlier broke my heart, that doesn't mean I don't want you anymore."

"Nick, I'm-"

"I'm going to stop you right there." Nick stated as he pushed me off of his body. I sat up on the sofa and he kneeled on the floor. He took hold of my hand and looked straight in to my eyes. His eyes were so gorgeous, I couldn't help but get carried away in them. "I'm not going to let you feel guilty for what happened."

"It hasn't happened to me since I was nineteen." I explained. I had snapped out of it after a few months of getting them all the time. It became my life for many years, what he did to me, I didn't have the chance to feel after a while.

"Cathy." Nick breathed. He squeezed his eyes shut and re opened them again. I saw the pain there, the pity I really didn't want.

"Don't, Nick, don't look at me like that." I pleaded. I couldn't stand the sympathy. What had happened had happened, I didn't want to think about it anymore.

"Will you tell me what happened?" He laid his head against my hand on the sofa. He still looked at me, watching, waiting.

I knew he was all ears, he'd listen to me and he'd understand. I hadn't told anyone, I didn't want to say the words and make it real.

"I can't." I whispered. I'd never had to, both my mother or my father didn't know. Nobody. I couldn't say the words, couldn't get them past my lips.

"Cathy, I think I know what happened to you." Nick stated, my heart started beating frantically. "You can tell me if I'm wrong or stepping out of line. I have spent the last two hours trying to figure out what had caused that breakdown, it wasn't easy because you didn't say much to give anything away."

"Don't." My voice was barely a whisper.

"You were raped weren't you? As a consenting adult, but still too young to know any better. He fucking touched you and had you without-fuck!" Nick shouted as he pushed the glass lying on the table across the air. "Tell me I'm wrong Cathy, tell me what I have said is wrong."

"Nick-"

"He ruined your life." Nick snapped. "I'll fucking kill him, Cathy."

"Nick." Tears rolled so quickly down my face. I began to sob as I laid my head in both of my hands.

"I'll break his neck in two for ever touching you, I swear to you, Cathy, he will never get the chance to hurt you again." Nick came quickly to my side. He pushed my hands away from my face and took it in to his larger ones.

The tears still ran down my cheeks, he wiped them away without force. Kissing my cheek, he murmured sweet nothings.

"I'm not scared anymore." I whispered.

"You're scared of your own memories." Nick stated. "You're not scared of him because he's not here and you left, you're just scared to fall asleep at night because the memories are so real in the dark. Your memories are your worst enemy, they're the devil and the devil never sleeps."

"Maybe I'm the devil." I stated. I never slept when I was younger, too afraid he'd come in and hurt me whilst I was asleep. It was only since I had moved back to America where I ever felt safe.

"You know you're my Angel." Nick exclaimed. "I've never said anything less."

"Thanks for everything you've done for me." And I meant it to the point I would tell him every single day. Him being here was enough to help me feel safe, even from my memories. Nobody would ever want to cross paths with Nick.

"You don't have to thank me, it's in my job description."

"As a police officer?" I questioned.

"As your boyfriend." He stated.

"Nick-"

"I know what you're going to say. It is soon, it's only been a few months, but let's be fair, it's inevitable. I've never brought a girl back to my apartment, never slept with one in my bed, never let them see me working. You're the only one and I care about you. What happened earlier isn't going to push me away, believe me, there's no running." He explained. "I'm all yours and I want you to be all mine."

"I was yours the minute I met you." I stated. "There's no escaping them eyes."

"This will be easy for you then." He smiled. He took hold of my hands and pulled me up from the sofa. I stood before him in only his shirt. "I don't want to do anything tonight, even though you're looking fucking hot in my top."

"You're still in your uniform." I said. "You should take it off."

"You'd like that wouldn't you?" Nick smirked. "Maybe one day I'll give you a strip show."

"In your uniform?" I asked with hope.

"Of course, I heard my girl loves a man in uniform." His words made my heart flip. He took my face in to his hands again and brought my lips up to his. "Please don't worry about anything, anymore. I'll take good care of you."

"I don't doubt you for a second."

"It's in my job description."

"Which one?"

"Both." I giggled and he smiled broadly my way. "I missed that. Seeing you earlier really hit home. I know what it's like to feel so out of control and seeing it from you made it really hard for me, you know that don't you?"

"You're such a softie." I stated. "Who knew that Nick Abel, the village's biggest play boy could say such beautiful things." I winked his way as I joked. I didn't want to spend anymore time moping around, I wanted to go back to normal, to feel normal.

"Stop messing." Nick chuckled. "I'm giving up my play boy ways."

"That's going to be tough." I mentioned.

"Not so tough when you've got what you want at home."

"You're too cute, Nick." I blushed, I couldn't help myself. He was on fire tonight, I knew he just wanted to see me happy again. It was working, I was glad. He pressed all of the right buttons even when he didn't necessarily know which ones would work.

"Don't tell my work mates you just called me cute. I'll allow it, because it's you who said it, but let's keep it between me and you, I have a reputation to uphold."

"Don't you have a play boy reputation, too? Don't you want to keep that one?"

"Fuck that reputation. I'm whipped, so what?"

"I like you whipped." I replied. Nick chuckled again.

"Are you tired?" He asked. I nodded my head. I was exhausted, however, I didn't want to sleep. I didn't want to lay my head on the pillow and let my thoughts cascade me. Nick was right, I was scared of my own memories, especially now. "Do you want to go to bed?" I shook my head.

"I don't want to sleep." I stated.

"Want to watch a movie?" Nick asked.

"Can we watch something funny?"

"You want to watch a comedy? Good choice, babe. I like that idea." Nick grabbed the remotes from the coffee table, sat down and kicked his feet up. He patted his thigh and I sauntered over to him and resumed my position from earlier.

I loved being on his lap, cuddling close. He was so manly and warm, so muscly and cosy. I could live on his chest and on his lap forever.

Nick put on a film and we cuddled in close. It was so late but I didn't care. Being here with Nick was everything I needed tonight. Knowing he was there for me, knowing he was going to take care of me, look after me and keep me safe, I was grateful.

It was crazy how much things changed the more you got to know someone.

I feel asleep on Nick's chest around half an hour in to the film. I was warm and the sound of his heart beating against my ear was everything I needed. His arms kept me safe.

And I slept with no demons.

~

I woke up disorientated and every part of my body felt achy and sore.

I sat up straight and realised I was still on Nick's lap. I stretched out slowly and quietly without waking him up. He slept so peacefully and his hands were still on my body.

Suddenly, my phone started to ring. I heard it from the small side table beside the sofa. I quickly reached over to grab it, Nick's hands gripped my hip tighter.

With my vibrating phone in hand, I answered it and laid a hand to Nick's face. I stroked it gently. He sighed and relaxed again beneath me.

"Hello?" I greeted.

"Cathy." Glenn's voice came out from the speaker. "You haven't been home for a while, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I've been with Nick." I stated. "What's up?"

"Has the fucker been good to you?"

"More than you'll ever know."

"Okay." I could hear him grimace. "I don't need to know."

"Not like that." I laughed. "I missed you."

"You've only been gone for a few days, Cathy."

"No, I mean when I was in Australia. I missed you more than words could ever explain." I wish he could have helped. I wish I never left him. I needed him.

"I missed you too, Birdie." He replied back. "Not that I'm complaining, but what's brought this on? A few days with Nick and you're kissing my arse. What's he said?" I laughed again.

"He's been totally fine, dad, stop panicking. I was just thinking that's all."

"I was getting worried then. Unless he's high there's literally no depth to him." Nick, high? I couldn't even imagine it. He was a police officer, for God sake, and dad took it with humour.

"Dad." I scolded. "Don't be mean." Nick had more depth to him than anyone would ever care to admit or to find out. Nick was very reserved and totally different on the first glance.

"The fucker knows I'm only kidding." Glenn replied with a chuckle. "What's he doing anyway?"

"I thought you rang to see how I was, your daughter."

"I've had enough of you. Put Nick on the phone." His tone was full of humour.

"You're on fire today, aren't you?"

"You know me, Cathy, full of surprises."

"Hold on, I just need to wake him up." I stated. He was still snoring softly beside me. I didn't have the heart to wake him.

"Lazy bastard." I heard Glenn mutter before I laid the phone down on the arm of the chair. I started to gently kiss Nick's cheeks. I went down his neck and back up again. He moaned.

"Cathy." He hissed. "What are you doing?"

"Waking you up." I stated. I continued kissing him and biting him gently. He flinched every time.

"You need to stop."

"Well, are you awake?"

"I'm awake and I've got morning glory." Nick replied. I chuckled as I looked to the bulge in his pants. I patted it gently as he growled.

"There's no time for frolicking. Dad's on the phone." I stated. Nick groaned again, this time not in pleasure.

Nick held out his hand. I picked up the phone and laid it in his hands. He put it to his ear.

"Glenn." He greeted.

With that, I decided to move to the kitchen. Considering what happened last night, I felt on cloud nine. Everything seemed to be looking up with Nick and my family in terms of my father. I had my best friend back, my father and now Nick. Best of all, the devil was away and I didn't have to worry.

I grabbed a few frying pans and decided to make Nick breakfast, as a thank you for last night. He was a man, he'd love a fry up.

"I swear to you I'm looking after her, you know I keep my promises." I heard Nick state down the phone to my father.

"That lifestyle is over. I haven't wanted it since meeting your daughter." He replied to Glenn.

"It's not my fault I like your daughter, Glenn. I care about her, I'm looking after her and you need to stop worrying."

"I know I'm Nick Abel, but I'm a changed man."

I couldn't help but to smile. My father was just too cute sometimes, he'd look after me too, always.

"Glenn, I'm too fucking manly to be doing pinky promises with you." Nick sighed. "Fine."

After a few more minutes talking about the football scores, Nick hung up the phone.

I couldn't stop smiling.

Nick caught on to my mood as soon as he sauntered in to the kitchen after me. He wrapped his arms around my waist.

"A fry up. God, you really are the woman of my dreams." I giggled but the idea made me smile even more. "I like you happy." He stated.

"I like me happy, too." I stated back.

And with Nick in my life, it was hard to be anything but.