19.

"What's he done?" Danni asked as soon as I barrelled in to her apartment with tears streaming down my cheeks.

"It's complicated." I sniffed. Danni sat me down on her small leather couch and sat beside me, waiting to listen.

"I'm the master of complicated." She stated. "So, tell me."

"He said his mother was dead." I looked to her. Danni looked to me with confusion on her face. "She isn't, she was just in his apartment once I got back from work."

"Well, fuck me sideways." She let out breath. "There is obviously a rational reason for this."

"I know, I know there probably is." I laid a hand to my head. "It's just the fact he lied to me, Danni. I told him about my past and he doesnt trust me with his."

That's what hurt the most. If I hadn't had told Nick my ugly past, maybe then I would be able to understand, not wanting to be a hypocrite in the slightest. I, for one, knew how hard it was to tell people about those demons, to confront people and make it all a reality but lying about it was never going to be the best outcome. It hurt to know that Nick had lied to me, he had gone against that trust we were slowly building for each other. That hurt.

"Well, I'm not the best with relationship advice but I will always be on your side no matter what. I want to make this better but I'm not really sure how I can do that." Danni grabbed hold of my hand. "So I'm just going to say what I know."

"Which is?"

"He's a twat." She stated bluntly. Even through the tears, a small smile formed on to my face. That was just typical Danni, always being blunt about what she thinks but also cheering you up in the process.

"You can say that again." I giggled. "But it's difficult, isn't it? I want this to work."

"I know you do. You're in love with him." Danni said, as if she had known all along.

"Dan, I think I am." And that petrified me, especially to say it out loud to my best friend. It made it all the more real, and I was shaking in my shoes at the thought.

How could this work if Nick couldn't even tell me the truth about his past, like I did mine? He lied to me, outright. I would never have known if his mother hadn't turned up to the apartment after all. When was he going to tell me?

I was angry, very angry, but I was mostly left feeling deflated. I felt defeated.

"It doesn't take a scientist to figure that one out." Danni stated. She got up from the sofa in the middle of the room and I watched her walk in to the kitchen. Two minutes later she returned with a glass of wine in her hand and some chocolate. "Here, comfort food."

"Thanks, Dan." I smiled her way. I took the wine and chocolate with greed and enthusiasm. I was definitely a comfort food eater and I ate whenever I was feeling low.

"I would have suggested vodka but I don't want you paralytic tonight."

I laughed in reply.

Danni put on a film so we could both watch it. She hoped it would take my mind off Nick even only for a little while. I turned my phone off on the way to Danni's, so I didn't know whether he had tried ringing me in the last hour I was here.

I was missing him already, though.

The film didn't really help to take my mind off of Nick. Somehow, he was always on my mind. I understood where he was coming from in terms of not telling me about his past, I knew how hard it was to do so. His lying, however, was just something I couldn't understand.

Once Danni was asleep on the sofa, snoring softly beside me, I grabbed my phone and turned it back on. I didn't want Nick to worry but I still wasn't ready to talk to him just yet.

Nick had been calling non stop, so many missed calls flooded the screen of my phone and I let out a breath.

I jumped as soon as the phone rang again. Nick appeared on to my screen and I wanted so badly to not answer. I couldn't speak to him, I knew I would cave. However, I didn't want him to worry, so I picked up the phone to tell him where I was.

"Cathy." He snapped as soon as I answered the phone. His angry tone shocked me as soon as I heard it. "Where the fuck are you?" His breathing was ragged as if he could barely breath.

"At Danni's." I said, my voice cracking. I hadn't expected him to be so angry with me, not when it was me being angry with him.

"Are you out of your fucking mind?" He roared down the phone. "I've been trying to find you for hours."

"Nick, what's your problem?" I snapped back. His tone of voice was starting to piss me off more than necessary.

"You need to get home." He demanded. I let out a fake laugh.

"Do I now? Nick I am not-"

"This isn't a fucking joke, Cathy. You need to get home." He sighed, as if he was trying to calm himself down as much as possible. "Something's come up and you're not going to like it, hell, Cathy, I'm going out of my fucking mind."

"What's happened?" I asked, my anger dissipating and worry starting to enter my being. Was it my dad? Was he okay?

"I can't tell you over the phone." He replied. "I'm coming to get you."

"Nick-"

"I'm coming to get you." He snapped.

"Don't bother." I snapped. I didn't bother saying more, with worry seeping through my bones and anger taking over my body, I hung up the phone.

With that, I rang my dad. It was late in the evening but I was petrified something was the matter with my father. Asides from Danni and Nick, Glenn was the only person I had here. If anything was to happen to him, I wouldn't know what to do with myself.

"You're my daughter and I love you but it's night time." His voice flooded my ears and I sighed in relief. He sounded fine to me.

"Dad." I let out.

"What's the matter?" He asked, worry starting to be evident in his voice.

"You're okay?" I questioned. "For sure?"

"Are you drunk?" Glenn asked back. "Do you want me to come and get you?"

"No." I couldn't help but laugh. "It doesn't matter, I just wanted to know if you were okay."

"Of course I'm okay." He chuckled deeply down the phone. I couldn't help but smile. My father's presence was enough to cheer me up.

After saying goodbye, we both hung up the phone and I let him go back to bed. Now I knew my father was okay, I didn't really understand what Nick was on about. Was it just a ploy to him to get me back home with him? Would he really end up lying to me again?

With that, I woke up Danni. I wasn't going to wait for Nick to get here because quite frankly, I didn't want him around me, not yet. I was still boiling mad and stupidly upset.

"What do you want?" She asked, groaning as her eyes squinted at the lights I had turned on.

"I'm going to get a taxi home, okay?" I said. "I think Nick is coming to get me but I'm not going home with him, tell him I've left."

"Will do." Danni replied as she hadn't really woken up fully yet. With that, I said goodbye as soon as I called for a taxi and left through the front door.

The taxi was outside of the apartment building by the time I got outside. I jumped inside just as I saw Nick's van come flying down the street. I told the taxi to move and to move quickly, and soon we were driving out of the street and on the way to my house.

Looking back, Nick wasn't behind me. Not yet anyway.

I relaxed in to the leather and closed my eyes tightly. I just wanted this night to be over already. Why did things have to be so difficult with Nick? We took one step forward and two step back, always. I wanted so badly for things to work out between us but I would never tolerate his lying, ever. I deserved more than that.

I paid the taxi driver once I was dropped off home and proceeded to grab my key. The lights were on in the living room and the hall way, which meant my father was now up. I felt bad for waking him up and not letting him sleep.

"Dad!" I called and shut the door behind me. I locked it before kicking my shoes off and walking in to the living room.

My heart stopped as soon as I caught eyes on the two figures in front of me. My father was sat one the edge of the arm chair with apprehension on his face but happiness all the same.

I, for one, did not feel happy. No, I was petrified as the man in front of me smiled. What the fuck was he doing here? My heart was beating against my chest with force, I was starting to panic but I didn't want to show my father or my mother who was also smiling largely my way.

"Mum." I said, my voice cracking. I couldn't look at the man stood next to her. I couldn't or I would have caved.

"Darling." She gushed. She walked over to me, fussing over my standing body and tutting at the tattoos on my skin. I recoiled away from her but tried to look happy to see her.

I was happy to see her, I really was. However, I wasn't happy to see him, the man who was giving me the eye behind my mother's back. I felt sick to my stomach.

"What are you doing here?" I questioned, my voice breaking.

"I wanted to surprise you." She smiled. "It had been so long and we missed you terribly."

"We did." His voice came out and goosebumps evaded my skin. His voice gave me shivers and in the worst way possible. It made me think of all the times he had talked to me, told me to be quiet and to be a good girl for him. It made me sick then but now it made me even worse. I didn't want to see him, I didn't want him here.

"That's great." I faked a large smile to my mother, hoping it looked real. "I've just got to use the toilet." I stated before rushing off in the opposite direction. I needed to get out of that room.

As soon as I made it into the bathroom, I shut the door harshly against its hinges. I was on the verge of breaking point. I was still pissed off with Nick but now, that didn't matter. What mattered was the man downstairs and what he did to me as a child.

After a few more minutes of trying to compose myself, I left the bathroom. I had to try and be strong otherwise I would crack. It was hard faving your demons head on, literally, but this was the case and I was going to have to get on with it. I was an adult now and I had Nick, nothing would happen to me now.

As soon as I left the bathroom, my heart rate sped up as the figure before me took in my presence. He was upstairs now, his eyes on me and his body leaning against the rail of the stairs. I couldn't breath as fear took over my every being.

"What are you doing?" I asked, trying to be strong. I wouldn't show him I'm afraid because I knew that's what he liked; what he wanted.

"I've missed you, you know." He smirked my way. His slightly greying hair looked exactly the same as it did before I left. It hadn't been that long but it felt much longer to me.

"I'm leaving." I said as I began to walk downstairs. I couldn't take this. However, he grabbed me by my arm and pulled me back until I was stood before him.

"You look older, more mature." He stated as he took me in.

"I bet you don't like that." I snapped back. He was a vile, dirty pig and I hated him with everything I had.

"Hey now." He let out, his voice deepening as irritation was evident in his blazing eyes. "I did what I had to do."

"You're vile." I spat. He smirked my way and anger boiled in my veins even stronger.

"You never complained."

"Fuck you." I hissed. Just as I was about to move again, he grabbed me. "Get the fuck off me."

"Catherine-"

"She said get the fuck off of her." Nick's voice boomed as he walked up the stairs. I hadn't even heard him coming closer until he spoke. His body was rigid and his face was full of anger. I had never seen him this angry before.

"Who's this Pansy?"

"You're lucky I haven't fucking killed you yet you dirty fucking prick." Nick said his way. His voice was not to be messed with and even I was scared to be in his presence.

He grabbed my body and pushed me behind of him. I now couldn't see but I was still able to hear. Nick was physically shaking in front of me with anger but I was able to feel stronger now Nick was here to protect me.

"What the fuck are you going on about?" He questioned back, I could tell by the tone of his voice that he was getting defensive.

"As if you don't know." Nick scoffed. "Let's get one thing straight." He walked forward until they were nose to nose. "Don't you touch her ever again or I will seriously break your fucking neck."

With that, before he could reply, Nick took me by the hand and pulled me away from the man in question. He pulled me down the stairs and opened the front door. I didn't bother to put up a fight, I was just ecstatic that he was here to keep me safe.

I followed him until we were inside his van. He didn't speak for a few minutes as he stewed. I let him. He was still shaking with anger, anger I had never seen before.

"Nick."

"Don't." He let out. He turned his head away from me to look out of the window.

"What's your problem?" I questioned.

"My fucking problem is you." He snapped. His eyes were ablaze as he now took me in. He wasn't calming down, not one bit. "You didn't tell me where you fucking were, you wouldn't pick up the phone when I called and then I see you and that rapist together talking!" He roared.

"I didn't know he was going to be here!" I shouted back.

"I was trying to fucking tell you, Cathy, but you left before I could."

"I was pissed off with you." I replied truthfully. It's hard to think straight when you're so pissed off. Also, I would never have known they were going to come back, it was a massive shock to me.

"Fuck sake!" Nick hit the wheel in front of him and I jumped at the loud bang it made. "I want you safe and it's difficult when you don't listen to a word I say."

"I didn't know he was going to be here, do you know how difficult that is for me? Today's been shit, Nick. You've lied to me and now my childhood demon is coming back to haunt me." Tears welled up in my eyes all of a sudden. I was exhausted and this day had been shit. "Stop being selfish, Nick, I know you worry about me but what you've done to me today has hurt me beyond words and now this? This has killed me."

"Cathy." He tried to take hold of my hand but I pulled away.

"I'm glad you're here to protect me from him, Nick, I really am, but who's here to protect me from you?"

"What do you mean? I would never fucking hurt you, Cathy."

"No?" I fake laughed. "Lying to me is enough to hurt me just as much."

"Don't be like this." Nick groaned.

"You lied to me, Nick, who's to say you haven't lied about everything else?" I sighed. "It's becoming hard to trust you."

"No." His voice was strong. "Don't say that."

"It is though." I shrugged. "I've told you everything about me because I wanted us to work and I wanted you to know. Never have I ever thought about lying to you, I wouldn't, because I wanted us to have that foundation of trust."

"I never wanted to lie to you, either." He laid a hand to his head.

"Well, what's done is done now." I stated. I opened the door and got out before Nick could stop me.

"Cathy-"

"I can't think straight." I shook my head.

"You can't go back in there, not with him."

"Nick, I can't stay in here with you, I need to go."

"Cathy don't you fucking dare." He warned.

"I can't." I shook my head again, my mind so exhausted and jumbled I couldn't think. I was a mess and my brain felt like it, too.

I shut the door before Nick could say another word. I heard him shouting for me before getting out. I ran inside and shut the door in front of him.

I ran upstairs and in to my bedroom, not caring that I was being rude considering my mother had come to see me. With that, I shut the bedroom tightly and laid on top of the covers. I couldn't move, so I slept in my clothes.

I heard the front door open beneath my room and heard Nick talking to Glenn. Soon, it all went quiet.

With that, I fell asleep with tear strained cheeks.

What was I going to do?