Not even five minutes within meeting Andy, my parents were already embarrassing me. They mistook Andy for a guy, but most importantly, their outfits were horrendous. When I stayed with them, I kept them from looking like every other lame, rich couple around the block but now that I was gone, they're fashion sense had went to sh-t. Why couldn't they be like Andy's parents? Andy's dad wore f-cking skinny jeans while my dad's jeans looked like they were two times his size. It was a f-cking shame, but I couldn't be there to keep them in style all the time.

"Your room is really f-cking blank," Andy pointed out as she put our luggage down on the floor. She looked around with a puzzled stare at how basic my bedroom was. There were no posters on the wall and hardly any decorations. It honestly looked like my family took a nice looking bedroom set out of a magazine and plopped it there with no further personal decorations—which is what basically happened.

"My parents bought this house while I was in college. I don't think I've ever spent more than a month living here. I only come home to visit my parents so I didn't bother decorating or anything, so this is basically like a guest room dedicated to me," I tried to explain. Andy seemed less confused and she fell back on the fluffy, white bed.

"So, does that mean you've never had sex on this bed," she asked with me with an eyebrow raised.

I laughed aloud and leant against my untouched, wooden desk. "Actually, the last night I spent in here, I had sex on that bed so you're probably laying on my ex-boyfriends dried up, old cum."

Andy screamed and jumped up from the bed as soon as I finished my sentence. She began brushing off her clothes as if that would somehow get the germs off. As she shivered with disgust, she gave me a solid frown, "You didn't wash the sheets?!"

I snickered and rolled my eyes at her in good humor. "I'm just kidding, fool. The sheets are clean and everything, but I did have sex on that bed before with my ex."

"The ex-fiancée?"

"Yes, Eric, who really wants to meet you by the way. Since we're nearby, he may want to chill with us if that's cool with you." Eric and I kept in contact through text since the last time we met up for closure. He was doing really well with his girlfriend and it seemed like he was officially about to get into medical school so he was doing really well for himself. I knew when he found out I was back in San Francisco, he would want to hang out.

"Sure, I'd love to meet the idiot that f-cked up his chances with you. I'd like to thank him." Andy walked over to me and she put her hands on my hips. My hands held onto the desk as she kissed my forehead softly.

"I'm sorry about my parents, by the way. I can't believe my mom thought you was a guy," I told Andy. She giggled as if I said something funny and cute. I laughed and cocked my head to the side. "What's so funny?"

"Your father called me a 'young man.'"

My cheeks flushed as I realized just how embarrassing my parents really were. "Young man? I'm so sorry. They're doctors but they can be really dumb and ignorant sometimes," I apologized.

Andy brought one of her hands to my lower back and rubbed it softly. It felt so good and soothing that I nearly moaned and forgot what I was apologizing about. "Hey, it's fine, darlin'. I don't care. They can call me what they want as long as it's not offensive. They can call me, 'sir', 'ma'am', 'boy' or 'girl', I don't care. Those things don't matter to me."

I laughed softly. "Wait, is that why you want me to call you daddy so bad? It's not going to happen, but-"

Andy chuckled as she shook her head. "No, I really don't want you to call me that. I just wanted to see if you would actually do it, which you did. Now, I have a new ringtone because of you and all of my friends think I have you whipped."

"You don't have me whipped, girlfriend," I told her sassily.

She bit her lip and I winced when she suddenly smacked my ass. "Oh, yes, I do."

I gasped and pushed her shoulders as she laughed. "I'll show you f-cking whipped!"

I began chasing Andy around the room as I tried to smack her ass. It was really silly but it kept us entertained until my mother came knocking on the door. Andy stopped in her tracks as if she just got caught doing something she wasn't supposed to do. I took the opportunity to smack her ass as hard as I could. She covered her mouth and let out a muffled scream. "Did you guys hear me? Dinner is ready!"

"Yes, mom! We're coming," I yelled.

I headed towards the door but Andy stood there. When I turned around, I motioned her to follow me out the door. "Are you going to stop being dramatic or are you coming?"

"I'm coming but when dinner is over, you're getting a for real whipping," she told me as she rubbed her ass.

I laughed aloud. "I'd love to see you try." Dinner started off pretty quiet. Mom named out everything that she cooked which was: baked chicken, mashed potatoes and broccoli. It was pretty basic, but the only thing my mother could cook without burning the house down. Neither of my parents were cooks, and neither was I. I could make something decent if I had a precise recipe but cooking just wasn't for me.

"Where's the seasoning, darlin'," Andy whispered in my ear once my mom put the chicken on her plate. I elbowed her under the table as she chuckled. Andy was used to good, five-course, homecooked meals. My mom's dry ass chicken with hardly any seasoning on it wasn't her main squeeze but I knew she would suck it up and eat it anyways.

"So, how did you meet our daughter, Andy," my father asked a few minutes into dinner. Everyone was trying their best to chew through the dry chicken but he was the one to finally get out the first words.

Andy and I looked at each other, and we both blushed before looking separate ways. I looked down at my food while Andy made eye contact with my father. "We met on the Santa Monica Pier. She was with her friends, and I was with a couple of my friends and somehow we started talking."

I laughed to myself as I remembered all the details of how Andy and I first met. Leo was being a d-ck and grabbed Tyra's ass, and Tyra dramatically started crying. Mia and I were ready to kick her ass until Andy ran up, and I was able to convince her to punch Leo in the face which was honestly satisfying. On top of that, we got to go to a nightclub later and got V.I.P. When I think about it now, it was pretty funny and bizarre. I was smiling stupidly to myself until I felt Andy's hand on my thigh.

When I looked over towards her, she was still talking to my father about how we first met. "I don't think she liked me too much at first," Andy joked. She was so stupid. I totally liked her when we first met. She was nice enough to come over and deal with her asshole friend. Most people would just stand there, let it happen and laugh. Not her, she took initiative rather than being a d-ck.

That was one of my favorite things about Andy. She never was an asshole and usually tried to keep a cool temper. When she got angry, it was for good reason but she wasn't pent up twenty four-seven. She was cool with being vulnerable and playful rather than tough all the time.

"Why didn't she like you," my mother asked with an amused laugh as she sipped on her water.

"She's just being dramatic, Mom. I actually really liked her a lot when we first met," I added. "She was really sweet and introduced herself. Most people in our day don't have the courage to walk up and introduce themselves to a random stranger, but she did and she showed interest." I couldn't tell my parents about the Leo part or the fact that Andy punched her or else they'd probably piss their pants.

"That's pretty good, Andy. I had to walk up to Michael. That man couldn't take a hint! We were at a social and I kept looking at him and he kept looking at me but he was too scared to make a move." Mom nudged my father in a joking manner and he laughed as he looked at my mother. My parents relationship has always been good. They complemented each other really well. When they argued, they were quiet disputes. I've never heard them yell at each other or get too angry with each other. They were perfect.

"That's because I was actually interested in your friend. Remember Susie," my father pointed out.

My mom slammed her hand on the table as she laughed. "Oh yeah, how could I forget? You were into my friend, but she totally wasn't into you. So, technically, I was your second choice."

"But you should've been my first, honey," he told her as he took her hand. He kissed it softly. Andy and I caught eyes and we both laughed awkwardly and quietly. My parents were cute and all, but sometimes they got trapped into their own little world.

We went back to eating as my parents whispered some things to each other from across the table. Whatever they were whispering about had my mother flustered and I was so happy I couldn't hear anything coming out of their mouths. After a while, they finally included Andy and I back into the conversation. "So, what do you do for a living, Andy," my mother asked with furrowed eyebrows. "You sure have a lot of tattoos."

Andy chuckled nervously and scratched at her neck. She looked at me for assistance but I just gave her an encouraging smile. I didn't want her to lie. I really didn't but she had to make up something because her being a gang member wasn't going to cut it for my parents. The last thing I wanted was for them to have a heart attack.

"Well, I kind of run my own business so tattoos don't affect my work life," Andy said vaguely.

"Really? You're into business? That's great! What kind of business do you operate? Is it a family thing or are you a young entrepreneur," my fathered questioned. My dad was so intrigued that he put down his fork and gave all his attention to Andy. The lie wasn't that bad and in a way, it wasn't that much of a lie. A gang was kind of a business in a f-cked up way.

Andy opened her mouth but hesitated. My father raised his eyebrow in reaction to her hesitation and she finally spit out something. "I own a repair shop, Ricci's Auto Repair. Ricci's my last name. You've probably haven't heard of it but it's really big over in Santa Monica. I'm thinking about opening another location in a neighboring city, possibly L.A."

I tried to keep a straight face. Not only did she steal Leo's last name, but she also made up a lie about her owning a repair shop. I bet if my father asked her any questions about a car, she most likely couldn't even answer them. "So, you know a lot about cars, huh," my father asked. I honestly don't think he was buying it. He paid a lot of attention to detail while my mother was completely oblivious to everyday things.

"Yes, sir. I started off watching my father repair cars and I followed his lead." Oh God, she was digging herself deeper into a hole of lies. I had to change the subject before my father started asking more in depth questions.

"How's your bowling team doing, Dad," I asked before he could open his mouth. My father loved bowling so much that he was a part of a team. Once you got him talking about it, he could go on for what seemed like hours. And so he did, he told me all about how him and his team just won a tournament, how Rick quit the team and how they ended up getting a new guy ten times better. Andy, who was tense from all of her horrible lying, had finally gotten comfortable again knowing that the topic of her business was postponed for now.

After dinner, we got changed into more comfortable clothes and met in the family room to watch a movie. When I did live with my parents, we always had movie nights when they had time. Usually, we would watch a Disney movie but since Andy was the guest, she got to choose. Despite it being the beginning of September, she chose to watch Home Alone, which to me is a certified Christmas movie. But whatever, she was the guest and it was her choice.

Thirty minutes into the movie and my mother was already knocked out. Every movie night, she fell asleep without fail. My father was too busy on his phone and only glance up at the screen for anticipated humorous parts. He'd let out a hearty laugh and then shake his head and whisper something to himself and chuckle again. Andy got a real kick from my father's laugh. She said he sounded like a coyote, which he honestly did.

"Do you think they like me so far," Andy had whispered to me during one of my father's laughs. Usually when my parents didn't like someone I dated, it was pretty obvious but now I couldn't read them. I think they were still on the fence. They would need some one on one time with Andy before they came to a true verdict. I didn't want Andy to worry about it so I nodded.

"Yeah, of course, baby. They haven't chased you out the house yet so that's good, right?" She chuckled and I stole a kiss while my father wasn't looking. Andy took a stealthy look to my father who was on his phone once again. She gave me this no good smile and I knew whatever that was going to happen next wasn't going to be exactly G-rated.

She snuck her hand under the blanket I had wrapped around my waist. I grabbed her hand and hissed at her, but she just laughed as her hand slid into my pajama pants. I gasped when her hand went somewhere it wasn't supposed to be. My mother snored loudly and I nearly jumped out of my skin. Andy continued to moving her palm slowly, making sure to look at my father every now and then to make sure he wasn't looking.

I closed my eyes and blocked out Macaulay Culkin's voice, my father's laughing and mother's snoring all at once. When I felt her lips on my neck, I ended up letting out a soft yet quiet moan. I swallowed hard and grabbed her hand again. There was no way I could keep quiet and I couldn't stand the risk of getting caught. Andy took the hint and took her hand out of my blanket. She laughed to herself before kissing my cheek.

-

How do you feel about Andy lying about her career? Do you think Delaney's parents believe it?