The days that I spent with Delaney's parents were probably the most uncomfortable streak of days I had ever experienced. When I was alone with Natalie, I noticed that she would check me out. Ever since she walked in on me naked in Delaney's room, it seemed like she gained an interest in me. Now, I don't know if Delaney's mom was secretly bisexual, but she had a thing for me. Sometimes I had that effect on straight women so I really wasn't surprised that she was into me. It was just super awkward because she was my girlfriend's mother.

She was always super inappropriate with me, but Delaney or Michael never noticed. I don't see how. Whenever she was near me, she would rub my shoulders, feel on my biceps and one time she was extra enough to make sure she rubbed her ass against me as she walked past. It was horrible and awkward. I wanted to tell Delaney about how f-cking crazy her parents were but I didn't want to make her mad. I knew she wanted her parents to like me badly. It was important to her, so I kept my mouth shut and acted as if they were normal.

Michael was cool when it was just me and him. Every night we snuck out to roll one, but when he was with Natalie and Delaney, he was almost unbearable. When he talked to me, he had this cool and calm tone, but when he was with his family, he put on this stupid typical, rich dad voice on. It made me want to shoot myself in the f-cking face. How could you be so twofaced to your own f-cking family? It was almost like he had two personalities.

He opened up to me when we smoked as if I was his best friend and he had known me for years. I guess it felt good for him to finally be his true self around someone else. He told me that Natalie and him had an open relationship, which was probably the reason she was trying to flirt with me so hard. It was crazy that she wanted me to cheat on her daughter just to f-ck her. She was disgusting, and so was Michael. He told me he had sex with one of Delaney's exes, and I wasn't sure if it was a guy or a girl but it was f-cked up. The two of them were like crazy swingers who strived to f-ck their daughter's girlfriends and boyfriends. It was like some stupid, horror story about crazy ass white people and their flawless, adopted daughter. I don't know how the hell they raised someone like Delaney. She was so f-cking different and far less manipulative.

With all of that said, it was pretty clear that I was ready to go the f-ck back to Santa Monica. The day we were scheduled to leave, I woke up early as hell to make sure the car was packed and ready to go. I was basically waiting by the door with the keys, waiting for Delaney to finally give me the nod to leave. I was thankful that I didn't get molested by Natalie or murdered by split personality Michael but it was time to go and I wasn't willing to stay another second in that damn house with them.

Although, I was done with Delaney's parents, on our way out of San Francisco, we were supposed to meet up with Eric. After being stressed the f-ck out by Delaney's parents, I hoped he wasn't worse. If he was an asshole, I was going to beat his ass. My tolerance was low from dealing with Natalie and f-cking Michael. F-cking lunatics.

We went to this weird bar thing that had a bunch of arcade games for adults. It was like a sleezy Dave and Busters' filled with a younger crowd like Delaney and I. Eric had texted Delaney and said he'd be a few minutes late. Since we had to wait, I shamelessly ordered a glass of Rum and Coke at the bar. Why not? I wasn't the one driving us home and I definitely deserved a good ass drink after spending days with her f-cking parents. Delaney got a water and we sat at a nearby table. We sipped on our drinks quietly as I watched the football game that was playing on one of the many TVs in the bar.

"So, I might as well ask you now, what did you think of my parents," Delaney asked me after a few minutes of texting on her phone. I swallowed hard and pretended to have a brain freeze. I didn't want to tell the truth and let her know I didn't like them very much but I didn't want to lie either. She giggled at me and cupped my cheeks. "You're so precious sometimes." She gave me a quick kiss and I smiled softly. How could I lie to that face? But also, how could I tell the cold, honest truth to it? She'd be devastated if she knew half of the things that I knew. My family wasn't exactly civilized but hers were built on nothing but lies.

"I don't know. They were okay, darlin'. They were quite interesting." The vague approach usually worked. No hard feelings were involved and everyone in the conversation felt neutral. Or so I thought.

"What do you mean by you don't know?" Delaney did this laugh that she always did when she tried to act like she wasn't about to overreact about something. The laugh was flat, awkward and tasteless. I chewed on my lower lip nervously. Only she could make me feel this nervous about something so small.

"They were okay, darlin'. They were really nice and made me feel at home."

"So, you did like them?"

Oh god, was she really going to make me lie to her? I took another sip from my drink, only this time I sipped longer. Half of the glass was empty when I got through. Delaney raised a brow at me and I shrugged my shoulders. "Okay, f-ck it, I don't like them. They're just really awkward and boring. They're nothing like anyone I'm used to, especially not you. I don't know how they raised such a charismatic, upbeat child when they're so damn dry."

Delaney mouth dropped as she looked at me as if she couldn't believe what I had told her. She out of all people, should know just how boring and uninteresting her parents are. I know that they have an open relationship and f-ck other people but they're still f-cking boring.

Delaney played with the straw in her glass of water and didn't even respond. Other than the initial jaw drop, there was nothing else, but I could tell she was bothered. Anytime when she didn't talk or at least argue a little, she was really down or plain pissed at me. "I'm sorry if I upset you, but I didn't want to lie," I told her after a few minutes of ignoring each other.

"It just sucks. I really wanted you to like them. Family means a lot to me and if you can't get along with my family then...I don't know. What if one day I become like my mother?"

Initially, I laughed. No way would Delaney end up being a crazy b-tch that strives to f-ck the person her child dates. She'd never agree to an open relationship either. After laughing, I made myself become serious again. Honestly, this wasn't a laughing matter. It was actually quite f-cked up.

"You'll never become like your mother. You're your own person and you're nothing like her. I love you because you're you. You're hell of stubborn so I doubt you'll ever change. And I can get along with your parents if you left us alone, I'd just rather not be around them alone," I tried to explain. I knew Delaney was probably confused but she didn't pick up on the things I did when I visited them. She doesn't know her father or mother in the light that I did.

"Hey," I told her as I gently took her chin in my hand. I turned her face so she could look from the glass of water to me. "I'm in love with you. Your parents have nothing to do with that and they never will. Every time I'm around, I'll give them nothing but respect, okay? I promise. There's no reason to beat yourself up. It's not your fault."

"I love you too and I know it's not my fault. I just wish you liked them but I guess, it's whatever." She went back to looking down at the table. F-ck, I hated seeing her down. It was one thing when she was mad at me but when she was genuinely upset or sad about some stupid sh-t I did, I hated it. Anger was temporary, disappointment slowly built up and could possibly end a relationship.

To at least get a temporary laugh, I tickled her side. "Smile for me, darlin'." She giggled and pushed my hand away. I continue tickling her until she began cackling. Her body shook with laughter as people sitting near nosily looked over at us. But of course, I didn't give a damn. I stopped tickling Delaney's side and gave her ticklish kisses on her neck.

"Andy, stop," she said between laughs. I stopped briefly and she turned to look in my eyes. F-ck, I loved those chocolate f-cking eyes, just like Hershey's. Damn, if her parents did anything right, they gave her a great last name. Her kisses were sweet like Hershey's, her eyes were like a milk chocolate Hershey bar and she was so tasty to eat.

I must've gotten lost in her eyes because she giggled about something and captured my lips with hers. "Mm," I moaned after licking her lips. "Just like Hershey's."

"How many times do I have to tell you that every person I've ever been with has brought up that analogy," she asked with a laugh. It wasn't my first time using that analogy and I doubt it would be my last either. I don't care how many people said it, it was still true.

"Well, it must be true then. You're so tasty," I told her as I rubbed her sides and looked into her eyes. "You think I can go under the table for like five minutes. I'm sure that will make everything better. I need a little appetizer anyways; your friend is taking forever." I leaned in forward again and licked Delaney's neck. She laughed out loud and pushed my shoulders as I laughed too.

"You're so f-cking nasty and already tipsy," she said as she wiped her neck with a napkin.

Eric showed up a few minutes later. When he approached the table, I thought he had misplaced us for someone else. No way was Delaney ever engaged to this dude. When I laid eyes on him, I laughed loudly. "This fool looks like Justin Bieber," I whispered to her. Of course, she likes those pretty boys. Eric could past for a dyke if you ask me.

Delaney shushed me and made me scoot out of the booth so she could get up and hug Eric. He was dressed like any other pretty, urban white boy around these parts. The ripped jeans and the longline t-shirt and a backwards cap, not too original but stylish at least. He had his girlfriend with him, who Delaney was meeting for the first time. She was a gorgeous, brunette with a Coca Cola body and she looked like she was mixed with something. She was very ambiguous but I tried not to look too long. I didn't want Delaney getting jealous and most importantly, I didn't want to be f-cking rude in front of my girlfriend.

As Eric greeted Delaney, I made sure his hands didn't go past her mid-back and he wasn't holding her too close. Girlfriend or not, he better keep his damn boundaries. When Delaney and Eric finally finished greeting each other, I reached out my hand towards him as Delaney moved on to greet his girlfriend. "Nice to meet you, Andy. Delaney talks a lot about you. I wish I could say they were all good things," he joked. "No, I'm kidding, man. What's up?"

"Nothing much, man. It's great to meet you too. I've heard some things about you as well. Some good. Some bad. But it's nice to put a face to the infamous name." Eric winced when I said 'some bad.' I wasn't trying to throw shade or anything, but I knew his dumbass cheated on Delaney and I wanted him to know that.

He laughed a little and pointed over to his girlfriend. "This is Kristen. We're dating."

"Hey, Kristen. I'm Andy," I said simply. I gave her a fist bump and she laughed awkwardly as her cheeks blushed. I was trying to keep it casual. I was getting tipsy and I was trying to play it off as if I wasn't attracted to Kristen, though I doubt anyone cared if I was. Delaney never got too upset when she caught me looking at girls. She trusted me enough not to do anything and I never looked for more than a couple of seconds anyways.

We sat down at the table to catch up. Eric had gotten him a beer and I focused most of my attention on him than anything else. His resemblance to Bieber was uncanny. It was driving me crazy. "Sorry for being late but I was waiting for Kristen to finish her damn highlight. Girls. Man, I swear," Eric chuckled as he looked over to me for assistance.

"Tell me about it," I backed him up as I glanced over at Delaney. She rolled her eyes and kicked me under the table mischievously.

"You're the one who took forever to pick which shoes you wanted to wear with your outfit," Kristen replied back rather quickly.

"I hated when he did that! We never got to places on time because of that," Delaney agreed with Eric's new girlfriend. The two girls laughed as Eric looked offended and I sipped quietly on my second round of drinks. I was honestly so close to being completely wasted but I was playing it off well. "Andy is even worse. She has a million watches and has to take nearly thirty minutes to figure out which watch goes better with her outfit."

"Hey, Andy and I have to make sure that we look good. Ladies want someone who dresses good, looks good and smells good. We got all three, ain't that right, Andy?"

"Definitely, dude."

Delaney grabbed my thigh under the table softly, probably because I wasn't talking too much. She rubbed it soothingly, I looked over to her only to notice I was seeing doubles. For some reason, I stuck my tongue out at her. "Someone's a little wasted," Eric said with a laugh.

"I only had one and a half glasses and I'm already f-cked up, dude." The table laughed at my honesty and I laughed because I don't think I had ever said 'dude' so casually. I had to be drunk as f-ck to use that skater boy word.

"Damn, dude. You look just like Justin Bieber. You're so pretty, prettier than me. Are you wearing some kind of makeup or is your complexion really that clear," I asked Eric as I tilted my head to the side. Delaney kicked me under the table but Eric was laughing at me. He didn't seem insulted at all. That fool actually blushed. "Look at your cute ass blushing and sh-t, looking hella beautiful." Really? Was I really using 'hella' right now?

"I'd be lying if I said I didn't get compared to Justin Bieber all the time. People stop me and try to get autographs and sometimes I just go with it," Eric said with a shrug. He took a swallow of his beer and peered up at the game to check the score. "Are you into football," he asked me after he noticed me still staring at him.

"It's okay. I watch it with my friends sometimes. Are you into it, Justin? Oops, I meant, Eric."

Once again, I got a kick from Delaney under the table. I groaned since this time she kicked me much harder. "Anyways, Kristen, I really like your top. Where did you get it from," Delaney tried to change the subject and get Kristen involved in the conversation.

I looked at Kristen's shirt and licked my lips. Delaney definitely needed a shirt like that. Her tits were nearly spilling from her tight shirt. As I focused on Kristen's tits, I scrunched my face and then looked over at Delaney who was giving me a death stare. I cleared my throat and moved my eyes to the game. "Wow, those tits are intense. Sh-t! I mean, this game. This game is intense. It's intits. I like to say that sometimes because I definitely wasn't talking about anyone's tits at this table."

Eric was dying laughing as Kristen and Delaney were both turning red. While Delaney was getting embarassed, Kristen was flattered and I've never been so annoyed with my drunk self. Usually when I got drunk, I was completely stubborn, horny and obviously disoriented but now I was being annoying, so annoying that I was annoying myself.

"Sorry, she's so drunk right now," Delaney apologized to Kristen.

Kristen laughed and shooed Delaney as if it was no big deal. "It's fine. It's okay."

"Why don't you and I leave this two alone and play some games," Delaney suggested. Kristen agreed and the girls soon left. Delaney whispered for me to behave but I think she knew I couldn't help it.

Eric and I made small chat. He was actually pretty cool. He was one of those people that could get along with anyone. Unlike most people, he was able to deal with my drunk behavior without getting mad or offended. At one instance, we went shot for shot, just to see who would give up or puke first.

"Pretty boys like you can't hold your liquor," I told Justin as he pushed his shot towards me. He couldn't drink anymore but I was still downing them.

He laughed. "The competition wasn't fair. You're in a gang. You probably drink alcohol like water."

"I never drink, dude. It's like my first time in a while getting drunk, bro. But listen, man, seriously, my guy, thank you so much for f-cking up with Delaney." I looked over to Delaney who was now dancing with Kristen to the music that was playing throughout the bar. They seemed to be getting along just as well as Eric and I.

"Hey, man, I f-cked up with Delaney. I wish I could've ending things differently, but you're welcome. Just treat her right, alright? That's all I ask. She's still one of my best friends and I still love her as a friend."

"Don't worry. I love her more than a friend," I said before hiccupping. I covered my mouth and frowned. I threw up a little bit in my mouth but I swallowed it back down. "Damn, dog, I'm so f-cking twisted, bro."

Eric laughed and pulled all the drinks I had near me towards him. "Yeah, I know. No more drinking."

I was knocked out the whole car ride back to Santa Monica. When I woke up, I was in Delaney's bed. I didn't even remember getting out of the car. Delaney wasn't in the room but I could hear her mumbling to Mia in the distance. I slowly got up from the bed and grabbed my head. My f-cking head was killing me. I hoped she had some f-cking medicine.

I walked out of her room and into the living room. Delaney and Mia were sitting on the couch. Delaney was laid back with her feet on Mia's lap. Mia was massaging her feet as she attentively listened to her best friend. "She was so f-cking belligerent drunk. I don't think I ever witnessed her drunk. Thankfully, Eric was cool and they got on well but it was so annoying. She was eyef-cking his girlfriend. I'm surprised he didn't get pissed off like I did."

I made myself known by clearing my throat. Mia and Delaney both looked at me as if they got caught doing something they weren't supposed to do. I mean, they were kind of talking sh-t about me but I pretty much deserved it. I was an asshole when I was drunk, apparently. "Oh, hey, Andy," Mia said with a small smile. "Good to know you survived. Just so you know, you threw up all over our kitchen. I'm charging five grand for emotional distress." Delaney laughed at her friend but Mia kept a straight face. "I'm serious as hell."

"Yeah, sorry about that. I don't remember much from today."

"It was yesterday. You've been asleep for like fifteen hours," Delaney explained.

"Oh f-ck..."

"Yeah, I kind of thought you slipped into another coma," she said with a little laugh.

"No, I'm fine. I have a horrible headache though. I'm sorry about yesterday. If I said anything inappropriate or was a d-ck then I apologize. The only thing I remember is that Eric looks just like f-cking Justin Bieber. It's literally uncanny and I think it's still f-cking with my mind."

Mia and Delaney giggled and I groaned as I grabbed my aching head. "It's cool. You didn't do anything too crazy. You're just annoying as f-ck when you're drunk. You spent most of the time annoying Eric but he seemed to like you a lot so everything's good. Just grab you some pain medicine for that headache, it's in the bathroom."

I paced to the bathroom, eager to take something that could relieve the pain. F-ck, I was never getting that drunk again.

-

Do you think Andy should've told Delaney about her parents' secrets?

This was more of a filler. Lmao. Things are about to get better, I swear. I just had to build up some stuff to get the story moving. Anyways, hope you guys are enjoying it.