I want so many things, and it seems that I have none of them.

I want to be wrapped in his arms as he looks at me and just stares at my face, because he knows that when he really stares intently I get just as lost in his eye. Like he hypnotizes me, and I'm trapped in world where only he exists.

I could feel his skin against mine, as we laid in bed together, just incased in our own world, where none of the bullshit could get through.

Where I could forget he was an evil asshole who kidnapped me, and he could forget that I liked to swing dance on his last remaining string of sanity.

I wanted a life with him, where nothing really ever goes right, but we struggle through it, together. Where I eventually get to throw a positive pregnancy test in his face and watch us grow as family.

Where our love gets messy and dark but so perfectly imperfect at the same time.

Thats what I wanted.

And thats why I wasn't myself.

I couldn't shake it, no matter how hard I tried, I was stuck feeling this horrible sadness for myself and it only made me feel worse.

I couldn't smile or show much emotion outside of indifference, no matter how hard I pushed for it.

I wanted to be that girl, Katrina Justice, who was uncut with no filter. I wanted to be her again so bad, that I could feel it.

But I couldn't reach her, no matter how hard I tried.

And people around me could tell.

"Katrina! Did you hear what I said?" Bonnie's voice cut through my thoughts like butter, snapping me back to the current time.

We were all sitting at the restaurant Cha had chosen catching up.

Really, they were just trying to perk me up.

Everyone knew I'd been dumped.

And unlike last time, I really hadn't put up much of a fight.

I was to tired.

And I hated that about myself even more.

Why am I this person?

Why can't I stop it?

I blink up at Sasha, Aria, Bonnie, Trina, and Cha, their faces all clearly showing the worry they had for me.

I had more or less tried to cut them out, they didn't deserve to have to drag a rain cloud like me around, but they weren't having it.

They wouldn't let me drown in peace.

I struggled to place a smile on my face, but I know it looked more like a wince, "what did you say?" I asked.

They all shared a look, "just wanted to know where you got the inspiration for Aria's baby shower, last week" Bonnie stated, looking at me with worry.

A week.

Trina's baby was having his party tomorrow.

A week had passed, and I hadn't heard a word from him.

It was like he had just up and disappeared, no trace of him anywhere in my life.

I would think he was just a dream, if it weren't for these fucking memories that liked to stab my chest every chance they got.

He had chosen her, and I honestly do not know how much more I can take.

They were on the news for strolling hand in hand around town. A billionaire and his new gorgeous girlfriend who no one had ever heard of before.

An It couple, that had taken the city, by storm.

Everywhere. They were everywhere. The news, the newspaper, social media, pictures of them living the best life in one week were plastered everywhere I seemed to look.

Which is why I tried to keep myself in the dark confines of my room, windows and doors shut.

I knew they had all seen the pictures, the pitying looks I was getting were a clear indication.

And don't even get me started on the shit storm of my impending marriage.

No worse time to spring that bullshit on me.

I thankful hadn't seen Rhett since that day. To be honest, I was waiting for a restraining order to pop up in the mail.

That little reveal had gotten more than a little physical.

But, now all the anger that had been keeping my heart broken body standing, had drained. All that was left was an empty shell.

I didn't have that fire in me anymore.

I couldn't find it in myself.

And thats what scared me the most.

It was like I physically couldn't pull myself together, couldn't fight for the man I loved, the future I knew I wanted.

It was insane, and even with all the searching I did, I just couldn't pull myself together.

It was like I could see that girl, feel myself, but I couldn't slip back into my skin correctly, it was so hard to explain.

I slumped lower in my seat.

I looked back up at my silent friends, who were staring at me with so much concern. I hated their pity, but again, I couldn't even yell at them to stop.

It was like all the emotions in me had been turned off.

I need to get out of here, I can't take this anymore, "I'm sorry, you guys, I-I'm not feeling well. I'll catch you all later" I said slowly standing to my feet.

The worry in their eyes made me want to scream, shout, tell them to stop, but it was like my body was without the control to do so.

I left without another word.



I finally slipped into my parents doorway, all I want to do is climb in my bed and forget that I ever existed.

I slowly shut the door behind me, locking it.

"Well, hello there, wife-to-be" a voice shuttered over my body.

I went rigid, my eyes slowly narrowing before they collided with Rhett's bruised face.

He looked just as handsome as he had the day we met, last week, but his face was now marred by the small bruise on his cheek from where I had hit him with a rolling pin.

I wanted to smirk on his face at the sight of it, but ... I just couldn't.

I sighed heavily, "Reese" I commented.

"It's Rhett"

My eyes narrowed, "it's unimportant. What do you want?" I questioned him, a small spark of annoyance flashing in my system as his face sparked emotion.

Why can't I ... feel?

His lips tilted downwards as his eyes took in my form, "you look like shit" he commented.

I knew my eyes were sunken in, my face hallow, my hair ratty, but damn, did he really have to comment.

I should feel offended, or annoyed.

Who is he, to hand out fashion tips to me?

I wanted - I just want to go lay down upstairs.

"What? Not going to smash my face in with a rolling pin? Then try to strangle me with it?" he asked mockingly.

Rolling pins are my weapon of choice only on the weekends, weekdays I go for knives. Still want to play?

The thought hit me hard.

"I don't have time for you, why are you here?" I sighed instead.

His lips pulled into a frown as he watched me, clearly expecting a different response.

I was expecting one too.

"I'm here to take you home" he finally states.

"I am home" dipshit, is he really that stupid?

"Our home. Your things were moved into my apartment while you were out. You'll be living with me now" he finishes.

Fast images of the multiple ways I could quickly murder him and stash his body, fly threw my mind.

The anger at being controlled bubbles fast, before ... it slowly just simmers away into nothing.

What is wrong with me?

Fight!

Damnit! You don't want to live with him! Fight him!

My conscious bellowed, but I- it was like I was locked behind a wall, or chained. I couldn't fight.

Is this depression? Has he taken all the fight out of me?

Rhett's sharp silver eyes, take me in yet again, his face clouded in confusion, "something wrong?" he asked.

My mouth open.

Your face is whats wrong.

I wanted to say it ... so badly, "no ... I guess we should go then" I sigh in resignation.

Something isn't right.

Why am I taking this laying down.

Why am I not asking questions? Fighting him again? Attempting another murder? Why am I not screaming that I won't marry him and never will?

Why can't I fucking feel anything?

Something strained in me.

A small tug.

But I felt it.

What the hell was that?

I searched and searched in myself for it, even as Rhett slowly pushed me out the door and into his car.

I kept looking as he drove us through the city, before stopping in front of a nice one story house.

What is it?

Whats ... on me?

In me?

Touching me?

Why am I just rolling over? What is wrong with me?

Rhett opened my door, his eyes watching me intently, as I slide out of the car and follow him into his house.

A wide open space meets me as he swings the door open. Windows on every wall, let in so much light, as the very modern looking home welcomes me.

The door slowly clicks shut behind me.

"Where's my bed?" I ask him, no emotion leaking into my voice.

His face flashes with worry and confusion, "are you alright, Katrina?" he asks as he peers down at me.

No. Somethings wrong.

"I'm fine, just tired, where is my room?"

He looks unsure, "second room to your left, down that hall" he points.

I easily follow his directions, without a word.

I push open the door, I don't look at my surrounding or take in my new room.

I just kick off my shoes and slowly slink into bed, under the covers.

Closing my eyes.

Letting it melt away, into nothing.



Rhett's POV

"I thought you said, she'd give me shit?" I question him over the phone as I stand in the kitchen, listening to make sure she's still asleep in her room.

She'd been in there for hours, now.

Just breathing deep and steady, but awake.

"She should have torched your place, from what I'd been told and seen of her" he answers back.

I struggle to remain calm, "are you sure this is the right girl?" I hiss at him over the phone, my anger spiking.

She seemed dead on the inside.

Empty.

Chained.

"Yes, Katrina Justice is who we need in order to accomplish this. Without her, we have nothing" his deep voice rumbled through the phone.

"Well, you could have at least told me she had been chained" I hissed back, his lack of sharing information was fucking infuriating.

But I needed him.

He was the key, and he swore that the real key was Katrina Justice.

That she was the leverage we needed.

The only way.

"Chained?" he asked confused.

He sounded, just as I had when I had seen her. It was a strong chain holding her down. I must have not seen it that day we had met at her home.

A very strong hold was placed over her forehead, someone was holding her hostage ... to what I didn't know.

"Yes, there's a strong flow of electricity chained to her forehead, I'm surprised I missed it that day we meet" I sighed through the phone.

Silence.

"She shouldn't be chained, Rhett. I didn't place one on her" his voice holds caution and confusion.

My body goes cold, "well if its not you, then who is holding her prisoner?" I asked him.

"You need to break it".

I choke. Is he drunk, "are you drunk? I can see it, not break it! Thats not my power, how do you propose I break a chain of electricity, she could lose her mind, or better yet die".

"I don't know, but she is of no use to us if she's under someone else's control. Figure out what the chain is, and break it. Our time is running out, and I fear what we will have to face if she isn't in our possession" his monotone voice rings out over the phone.

Beep.

Did this asshole just hand up on me?

"Bye to you too, dick" I huff before slamming the phone down on the counter.

My eyes traveling to the hallway where her room was located.

Fucking perfect.