I can't fucking sleep.

My body rolled again in the satin sheets that were tangled all around my body, leaving Rhett completely bare to the cold chill in the room.

He didn't move though, didn't groan or sigh in his sleep.

He just let me take them.

I had even kicked him a few times, and quickly shut my eyes to see if he would wake up and stare at me in annoyance or kick me back.

Anything.

But the man was dead to the world.

So I was in misery, all alone.

The curtains had been drawn tight, so I could barely see the never setting sun's rays. But I knew they were there, and I just couldn't shut down, or fall asleep.

Even though I desperately wanted to.

I just felt ... almost static, dead tired, but almost afraid to close my eyes, to see where my dreams took me.

And I had a really terrible feeling that I wouldn't enjoy what I was going to find.

I rolled again, before snatching the pillow completely out from under Rhett's head. His head rammed into the oak headboard so hard.

The noise echoed just as I slammed my eyes closed.

He jumped with a start, I could here him shuffling before feeling his eyes turn to me.

I pretended to slowly blink my eyes open as he looked over at him, sleepy confusion drawn over his face, "R-rhett? What are you doing up?" I deepened my voice, hoping I sounded tired and confused.

He looked around in the same stupor I was pretending to be in, "lets just go back to sleep" he groaned before rolling over and face planting into the mattress.

Then he was back to sleep and I was back at square one.

He was so calm in his sleep to, not easily bothered, not annoyed that I had all the sheets wrapped around me, and three of his pillows under my head and legs.

He just laid there.

Damnit.

I sighed, finally closing my eyes, and letting that creepy static feeling rush over my skin, lulling me into a deep wave of pure fucking panic, because not a second later I was falling, and falling and falling before crashing hard into the ground.

My body laid out in a soft grass that rose above my spot on the ground.

What in the absolute hell.

I sat up quickly, looking around in pure shock and panic.

I was in a field, an empty, dry field, with absolutely nothing around it.

What the fuck.

My dreams usually consist of me crying and begging my Mom to stop fighting my third grade math teacher after she had somehow gotten Ms. Applebee into a head lock. My Dad holding me up cheering for my Mom while I boo-hoo cried and begged her to stop embarrassing me.

And that was a good dream.

The nightmares were much more embarrassing.

"Hello?" I called out as I looked around.

This even feels weird. Like I'm in a fake place, but I know I'm asleep, almost as if I'm not in my mind at all.

"Well, Katty, I've been looking for you" a deep voice sounded out behind me. Shivers raced down my spin as something akin to a deep sad longing rushed through my soul.

I would know that voice even if I was dead.

Remember it on every far corner of this earth.

I turned slowly to come face to shins covered in tight dark blue fabric.

My head slowly tilted up, taking in his power pose, the dark blue suit pulled and stretched perfectly over his muscled body. his abs clearly visible, his wide chest, that thick neck, and finally that unmasked face.

A devils smirk on his lips, but in his eyes, there was so much more.

Anger, worry, sadness, guilt, desire, and finally love.

Now, I know I'm dreaming.

I quickly scramble away from him, pushing myself to stand as I face him head on.

Those deep electrifying eyes just watching me in amusement as I struggle to stand in the silk pajamas that had been laid out for me in the room.

"B-blue?" I asked completely bewildered.

His eyes closed slightly as his name came stumbling out of my mouth, his shoulders once tense, seem to slightly relax.

His eyes finally take me in, raking up and down my body so slow, I swear I can feel the heat through my clothes.

We just stand there, looking at each other, just watching one another.

And shit is it sad.

Is this what I'm dreaming about?

That asshole!

After all this time, no dreams, no horrible memories of us together taking my mind. But now he comes like a fucking dark shadow to shatter my only true refuge. Sleep.

He seems to be waiting, just looking at me like he's waiting for me to say something.

This sucky ass dream.

"You have got to be shitting with me" I snap, looking over him.

God, my mind has such vivid detail of how he looks, even after all this time.

His head tilts slightly like he's analyzing me, his lips remaining sealed as he sends me a small frown like he hasn't figured something out yet.

Well I have a shit ton to say.

He's hear in front of me and now I can finally let this go, let his pain out of my chest, even if its just a dream figure in front of me.

"Fuck you" I start, always a great opener people.

He gives me a bored look, that sends a pang through my chest.

"Yes, fuck you! Everyone told me you were a heartless prick, and I mean, I knew it was true, but you just laid me like a damned guitar. I thought you loved me. Do you know how dark of a place I fell into? How alone I was? Y-you just left me! And to make matters worse, you left me for a bitch that is a solid two points hotter than me. I'll never admit that in real life, but damnit its true. You couldn't even leave me for something that looks like me? Or is uglier? To make me feel better. I mean come the fuck o-"

"She is uglier than you. She looks like a fucking swamp witch" he snapped over at me.

The strong feeling of being a complete and utter dumbass hit me harder than a brick to the fucking forehead would have.

He gave me a withering look, almost to ask if I was done.

Why does this feel like deja vu?

Or does the wither feeling of pure and utter embarrassment just feel like that, too?

I'm physically sick.

If that wasn't the most embarrassing thing.

So I do the natural thing, when you find yourself in a real life dream with the man you loved who dumped you like a trash bag.

I pinched the shit out of myself, "wake up" pinch, "wake up" pinch, "wake up, bitch" I mutter to myself.

My hands are suddenly ripped away from my body, my eyes flying open to find to find Blue impossibly close, his face a mere inch from my own, his hand gripping my wrist tightly.

"Katrina" he whispered, a deep unearthly string of pain in his voice, that had me stumbling closer to him, automatically trying to find his pain.

"What?" I ask him, worry already rushing through me.

Was this stupid?

Yes.

Because if this was him, could I really forgive him? Put my trust back in him? Forget how he just walked away from me?

How much more could I take, and how much more am I willing to take, because every time he leaves, every time he doesn't choose me, a piece of my soul dies.

As fucking wimpy as that sounds, its true.

He may have found his soul mate, but he was mine, and I wanted him to be happy, but his happiness caused me pain.

My eyes clench shut, that pain in his voice rolling through my own body, saturating my own soul, "what more, Blake?" I asked him.

His grip on my wrist got tighter, "Blue" he growled warningly at me.

I shook my head, slowly trying to stumble out of his grasp, "I can't anymore. You have a soulmate a-and you need to love her, and be with her" I sighed opening my eyes to see his disgusted and annoyed look.

He sighed trying to gain some control over himself, "I'm going to make a necklace out of all her major organs and give it to you" he snapped.

My mouth dropped.

No noise, no thought, just pure shock.

Wait ... did he ... did he call her a swamp witch earlier?

He looked back at me, his signature scowl of annoyance on his face, my mouth opened, then closed, then opened again, "umm ... uhhh what?"

"Or I could pull out her eyeballs and make them into earrings for you" he muttered like he was truly thinking about it.

I pulled away completely from him now.

Mouth still dropped open.

"You can't!" I shout out to him in complete bewilderment.

He gave me a dull look, "watch me".

Absolutely speechless, "don't you love her?" I asked completely blown away.

Maybe this really is a dream.

He pinched the side of my stomach, fire in his eyes as he glared down at me, "no, I don't fucking love that drowned rat looking woman, you dipshit. I'm offended that you would even associate me with that bush of a woman. I love you, dumbass. I will only ever love you, til the day your little pathetic ass croaks and even after that" he snaps.

Oh God it really is him.

We just stare at each other, his anger clear in his eyes, "Blue" is all I can manage one last time.

He rolls his eyes, before yanking me into his chest, and before I can even move, his lips are on mine.

And the world shatters.

Then rebuilds itself all over again.

His lips dominate mine, just as they always did. Sparks roll through me like a lightning storm, his warm hands gripping me tightly as our bodies feed off one another.

His soft lips, pushing against my own, deliciously hard, and it is absolutely perfect.

I belong no where else, but in his arms.

The shattered parts of me, seem to remold themselves as his whole presence devours my own.

He pulls back slightly, our lips just barely slipping over one another.

Its him, that deep manly smell, his rough lips, that demanding nature. It really is him.

And thats all I can think of as his eyes slowly open and he looks down at me, his lips almost pulling up into a smile, before the palm of my hand smacks the shit out of his face.

He freezes as he looks down at me.

"What. The. F-"

"YES! WHAT THE FUCK! You dick! You asshole! You nipple motherfucker! Are you telling me that you broke my heart for shits and giggles, what the fuck-" his hand slams down over my face.

Not gentle at all.

His eyes baring into my own as he glares at me, "I was mind controlled, you dimwit" he snapped.

Rhett's words of being chained into submission suddenly strike me across the face.

I place my hand over Blue's face and shove, sending him backwards, "wait, by Ira? You mean she was mind controlling us? She chained us? You? I thought you were a fucking genius? How did you get outsmarted by her?" I blink up at him.

He gives me a deadpanned look, "thank you for the fucking reminder, but I'm a bit more worried about where exactly the fuck are you?" he looks down at me expectantly.

My mouth opens then closes.

Oh wait.

He's giving me one of those looks, like he knows I'm not where I'm suppose to be, and I did something wrong.

"Where am I" I repeat looking at his handsome face, "where is Katrina, yes, yes, a question. A good question, well where are you?"

He grits his teeth, "I'm in Snake and Sasha's house, trying to find you, to come to find out, you aren't even in town. Or the fucking country, are you?" he snapped that creepy ass grimace that acts as a half smile and a baring of teeth all at the same time.

I suddenly found the bright blue sky interesting.

"Well you see- what had happened was- YOU KNOW THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" I shouted at him.

Deflect.

Never take the blame.

"I-I was drugged and dragged here, with Daniel to make matters worse, and I-" his hand went into my mouth, shutting me up, immediately.

His eyes held literal fires of hell, "did you just say that star spangled bitches name in my presence?" he growled his body tense.

Shit.

"Did I?" I cringe.

"We don't have much time, where are you?" he hissed trying to get a hold on that anger.

"Well, Rhett and I are on this mission trying to find Cirron, and he thinks Raymond will-" his head snaps up to mine so quickly, the words die on my lips.

"Raymond?" he growls. I nod, "Rhett?" he spits. Damn, I cannot shut up, I slowly nod again, his anger spiking. "I'll be there in a few hours" he spits out, before slamming his lips to mine harshly, sending my world reeling before pulling away. "That'll feel much better in person" he mutters lowly before stepping away from.

"Wait!" I scream over at him in complete disarray, "I have questions, you lamp post. Like what happened with Ira, how did you get out of it, how did you contact me, how do you know Raymond, how do you even know where I am, and for the love of it all, do you usually dream of yourself in you super suit?" I shoot question after question at him.

His eyes lighting up in that dark amusement that made my heart spin.

"I missed you" is all he says before he palms me with unimaginable force in my forehead, sending me flailing backwards, down, down, down.

Then I crash into my bed, wrapped into all the sheets and pillows I stole from Rhett, who is still sleeping soundly on the other side of the bed.

I slowly slip out of the bed and walk to the door, before slipping out.

My mind reeling with all the non-answers that Blue gave me.

My heart beating hard, when his words whisper back through my mind, of him growling down at me, that he would only ever love me.

I did love him.

But... I can't take anymore.

My heart can't take anymore.

First the whole bullshit with Lee, where we lost each other so many times, then he's taken, and now he just leaves, but we were being mind controlled.

Will it ever end?

And all my love for him, can't stop the pain. It still happened, he still left and kept leaving.

Would it ever be different?

And am I really prepared to keep forgiving him, over and over?

I slowly slink through the large hallways of the castle, the silence rolling over my skin, almost as much as the stress sweat.

Blue was going to be pissed.

More than his standard, which is equivalent to a raging furious.

And poor Rhett, he won't even having a flying chance against that psychotic blue condom.

I slip past another corner, before crashing into a warm body.

I immediately grip the wall, trying to stop myself from landing on my ass, like usual.

"Oh I'm sorry-" I quickly spit out before looking up, my eyes connecting with the last person I ever thought I'd see in this life again.

Her eyes widen in shock, as she stands stock still staring over at me.

We stand absolutely still just watching each other.

Before me Lia Wu, my ex-best friend, officially certified whore, dubbed Wendy Wu the Hoe Warrior, was standing in front of me.

Her mouth opened, "Kat-"

And before she could even finish her sentence, I sent my fist flying into her face.