"Well, that went well," Jase tapped his finger lightly on the arm of the couch as Ant swept the fragments of glass up. The moon shone high in the sky through the tall glass looking out to the city, a myriad of smaller buildings and streets trickling through them.

"She needs time," Ant offered his thoughtless reply, half trying to convince himself as much as Jase.

Jase chuckled in disbelief, hearing a faint scraping against Paige's door, the shunt of something hard against the wood. He raised his brows and tipped his chin towards her room.

"She's petrified of me," he stated matter-of-factly, the after effect of his words unfurling in his mind. "And I don't blame her." She was barricading herself in her room in case he tried to break in, he knew that. But how could he tell her it was unnecessary? He'd willingly assumed the role of the villain, and that was exactly how she saw him.

"You asked me once not to explain the whole situation to her. Considering where we are now, don't you think she should know?" Ant frowned quizzically at the American, who had continued to go up in his estimation despite his best attempts to resent him.

"No," Jase tapped his finger harder. He had given this a lot of thought. Jase knew he had a high chance of redeeming his character in Paige's eyes if she knew the entire story. She would have understood what he did was actually an act of protection rather than sadistic aggression, and she would have forced herself to try to see him differently, as difficult and conflicting as that may be. Half of Jase wanted her to know with an ache inside he couldn't place, but he knew it was selfish.

"It would be too confusing for her, emotionally. Right now I'm the manifestation of fear and injustice and everything bad that happened to her. Tell her the whole story and we'll only be replacing that with the organisation she now believes has contractually pledged to protect her. She won't trust Lorres or anybody on base, you wont be here, and she'll never entirely forgive or trust me. She'll either have signed this," Jase waved the wad of stapled papers in the air, "and will feel totally trapped in a new city, alone with no one to trust. Or she'll refuse to sign it- which isn't an option by the way- and they'll force her under the counter terrorism act to remain here in 'protective custody'. Which to her will be no different to sitting in the little cell I made her wait in all that time."

"Right," Ant nodded slowly, ashamed to realise he hadn't really thought of the implications of telling the truth.

"It's easier for me to be the bad guy."

"Yeah, fuck," Ant ran a hand through his hair, which was beginning to grow unruly. "You're right. I wish there was a way around me leaving."

"No offence but, why do you feel obligated to stay?"

"Nature of the job, I suppose. I don't feel like it's finished yet," Ant summarised the depth of his thoughts on the question in two uncommitted sentences. Jase nodded in understanding, he felt somewhat similar. Though for him, it was the first time. He'd never had a problem separating work and real life, but this had pushed him to the edge of his comfort zone.

"You still love the life?" Jase smiled sadly, noticing the tell tale signs of a soldier still committed to his post in his British counterpart. It was an affection and obsession he'd grown tired of long ago.

"I do. I love my job, I can't really imagine a life outside it right now. I'll get there one day, I'm sure," Ant reflected on the life he'd lived. Nearly twenty years service; he'd enlisted at seventeen. There had been times where he thought he'd had enough, watching friends die, watching relationships wither, but the SAS to him now was the great love of his life. A poignant, tragic, bloody, raging love story, that he knew he would probably never be able to give up.

"That's nice man, though I can't say the same," Jase leaned back lazily, mulling over the memories that haunted him at night. "I was so done, probably before this op really. A year ago we were in Mogadishu... it was bad. Really bad. Some of our guys never came out the same. Fuck, I didn't come out the same. And after that all I could do was look back on all the things I'd done in my life. I've shot kids, basically. Tortured more than my fair share of men. I've got a lot of blood on my hands, some of it justified- you know, just part of war. Some of it not so much. Top it off with imprisoning and torturing a woman I knew was innocent... well if there's a heaven and a hell I know which one way ticket I'll be given when the day comes, that's for sure."

"So you're done, for good?"

"Signed the papers earlier today. I'll stay here, be part of the training programme. It's either that or bodyguard work, right?" The majority of Jase's previous comrades who'd transitioned to civilian life had become elite bodyguards, it seemed a natural career choice for their uniquely honed skills. The idea held nothing for Jase, he couldn't imagine anything worse than trailing beside a puffed up celebrity, arms out to shield them from paparazzi.

"Yeah, I guess. I've never given it a huge amount of thought," Ant tried to picture a life outside of the SOF world he was so used to, but there was nothing his mind could conjure that sat comfortably.

"So, you're wings up at 1639?"

"Yes. Paige meets with Lorres at 11am, she'll be expected to sign and return that," Ant nodded towards the weighty contract. "You'll meet with Lorres before then?"

"Seven thirty, she'll assign me as protective detail, they'll be happier knowing there's eyes on her 24/7. You're coming back in two weeks?" Jase privately wondered what the point of Ant's return was. There would be nothing for him to do, not with Jase seizing the reigns on Paige's safety. It was to ease his conscience, Jase understood that and applauded him for it. But Ant passing on the baton, even just this very evening, made Jase feel territorial over his post. He would take care of Paige- Ant's duty was at an end.

"Maybe ten days, as soon as my leave starts I'll be on a flight."

"You know it's really not necessary, you must have things you want to do. Friends to see, women..."

"I'll be back. Even if it's just for a few days, to see she's settled in," Ant knew it seemed futile, but leaving Paige in what still felt like a precarious situation didn't sit well with him. He had to come back, just to put his mind at rest. Besides, what was so bad about soaking up some California sun on his leave?

"Ok," Jase nodded and rose from the couch, stretching his back wearily. "I've got to go and get some sleep, I'm up in just under four hours."

"Thanks for coming," Ant clapped him on the arm. "And she does just need time, it will get easier."

*

"So, I'd like to officially welcome you to the United States," Lorres gleamed her very brightest smile and handed the signed paperwork to her suited colleague. I sat awkwardly in the chair, feeling as though I should have been relaxing in to the hard plastic back with a deep breath of relief. But I couldn't. My spine was straight, both feet firmly on the floor, hands clasped together in my lap.

"I'd like to introduce you to Jack," the suited shadow stepped to the foreground next to his colleague. He was clearly Lorres' subordinate and had been assigned this duty unwillingly. He was mid thirties, strapping, but with an ignorant arrogance that would be hard to disprove. I read it on him the moment he'd stepped in the room with refreshments. "Jack will be your liaison for all things related to our relationship. You'll have the name and contact details of the administration service for living related matters too," Lorres nudged her delicate eyebrows upwards with a pointed look at Jack, who suddenly acknowledged his cue.

"I'll be in touch every day, you can call me whenever about any concerns you have. I'll schedule your medical appointments, therapy appointments, handle your money and call you when the need arises to assist us with any finer points of our operations. I'm... here to make your life easier," Jack couldn't have seemed more insincere if he tried. I guessed he begrudged working under a woman, but he was clearly his own biggest obstacle.

"Paige, excuse me. I have a meeting I have to get to, but Jack will run you through the final bits, okay? I'm sure we'll see each other again sometime soon," Lorres beamed again as she gathered a few thin files and whirled herself out of the room on dainty heels. I nodded and forced my closed lips into a smile. Jack cleared his throat stiffly and took a seat opposite me, suddenly more comfortable now he was the person in charge inside the four walls enclosing us.

"Before I get on to the next subject, do you have any questions?" He shuffled papers unnecessarily, as though by changing their position he had assumed control of them.

"Clothes, food, stuff like that..?"

"Yes, so inside the pack I'm about to give you is a prepaid Mastercard. Money will be transferred to that every fortnight on a Thursday. You can use it anywhere, for anything. It is your responsibility to manage this. If you turn to page eighty four in your folder you'll see the elements your money is made up of; fuel, groceries..." Jack's itemised explanations went on until I stopped bothering to nod my head in understanding. He covered everything, from the number to call for emergency services (not 911, apparently on base you only called the military police), to the pet policy in the apartment (a fish tank of no more than something amount of litres was permitted). I was considering asking for a toilet break just to halt the endless flow of information I was certain would be noted down in the extensive folder I had before me, when he changed his tone.

"So, last thing to cover is security. Nothing to be immediately worried about, but with as with many previous prisoners of IS we have due diligence in making sure they are safe and secure. You couldn't be in a more safe or more secure place, of course, but you are free to go off base whenever you like and the recommendation received is to provide protective detail at all times, for your transition back to everyday life as much as for your security," Jack turned a page from the document he was studying over and raised his brows in surprise. "Well, they assigned you the best. Jason Hill, former DEV- wow I didn't see him leaving. You should know Jason, he just escorted you here to the States." I was too busy trying to swallow down the horror lurching up the back of my throat to pay attention to anything else Jack wittered on about.

"Sorry, there must be a mistake- he- Jase- Jason, couldn't have been assigned to me," keep breathing. In- two, three-

"Yeah, you lucked out. Best of the best," I could see Jack's mouth forming words and hear a faint drone but none of it registered.

"No but- he can't-" I halted suddenly in conflict. I knew exactly what my argument was, but I also knew I'd just signed a very serious legal document stating that everything that took place in Jordan had never happened, in return for their 'restitution package' and their guarantee of my safety. Jack was not on the list of people Lorres had told me I could approach about anything to do with my time in Jordan, which seemed to make him a poor choice as my liaison. Did they want it that way? Was I supposed to never mention it again? If the recommendation for protection had come from someone higher up, perhaps from Lorres or even higher, they would have been privy to the details of the black site and decided Jase was the approved fit anyway. Unless it was even above Lorres' clearance level. Maybe she hadn't seen the tapes. Maybe nobody here knew, and I wasn't supposed to say a single word.