Doe's POV:

I couldn't tell you how long I had slept.

The clock read 10:33 am, but I couldn't recall the time when I fell asleep.

It had to have been at least 15 hours.

However long it was, it was much needed and well deserved.

That and the food that I managed to eat.

After both, I could proudly say that I did feel better... physically at least.

As well as the new clearness in my mind that was clouded by my exhaustion.

The headache that had been haunting me was gone and took the constant state of shivering I was in with it.

Even so, I still kept that same blanket around me as I emerged from the cage and moved to the couch.

For... comfort of sorts.

There was a small icebox waiting for me on the coffee table which held a smoothie inside of it.

I favored my left arm while taking it out. Both my shoulders were injured, but Layla's bite hurt less than the thumping soreness from my right one.

As I lifted it out and sat down, I spotted the note taped to the side which told me what it was.

Banana-Peanut Butter-Chocolate

A combination you couldn't really go wrong with.

Which was nice because I woke up craving something sweet.

I took it as a good sign that I was craving food again at all.

Looking over the note again, I plucked it from the side of the jar.

It was in Xanders handwriting, leading me to believe he got this just in case I happened to wake up while he was in the shower.

Which, well, I did.

In fact, I just heard the water turn off.

His first shower since Layla came by I think.

Which went for me as well... I should probably do that after he's done.

I tried not to focus on the sudden knowledge of how greasy my hair was and instead brought my knees closer to my body to help support the cup while I sipped on it.

With my newfound clarity and partially clear mind, I debated revisiting my old thoughts to try to make any more sense out of them that I couldn't before.

That mixed with the talk we had last night.

I wanted to try to reevaluate it, but I also didn't want to jump back into that rabbit hole again.

I know that I probably needed to... this situation was still one that I couldn't get away from.

The ball was tomorrow after all, and as far as I knew, he was still going with her.

That and the fact that the ball was a deadline that ended up being one of my main concerns.

Since his latest plan to Layla was that he was going to let her have me after that.

I knew... or at least I thought I knew-

I wanted to know that he was just trying to cover his lie.

That he didn't really mean it.

And after last night, after he told me what was going through his mind at that moment, he only further proved my point but still...

And yet I was trying harder than ever to try to dispute it just in case it all went wrong again.

So that if it did, I'd be prepared.

It was exhausting in its own way, but I did it anyway.

At least until after the ball... Maybe.

I was running through every last detail of it from the time the conversation ended till the time I fell asleep.

His promises, his dedication, and the firm willingness he had to try to fix this.

It was like I was clinging to all of it even though I didn't want to.

It was another battle with my hopes.

Except this one would be my last and I knew that the results were all on his shoulders.

Which is why I wanted to root for him more than anything but at the same time...

It was both the most hope I've ever had and the one that would feel the worst if I lost it.

He's never so confidently promised me anything like that.

Even swearing on Nico...

'I care about you, Doe.'

I sagged into the couch with a sigh, taking a very long drink of the cold beverage.

I tried not to recall that phrase, yet it slipped in regardless of how hard I tried.

The words pulled something in my chest that I absolutely refused to even acknowledge past its physical afflictions.

Maybe I should take my own advice.

I told Xander to start telling people what was on his mind, so maybe I should do the same.

I knew that I could talk to him about it, but I never knew how to began.

Where to start with it all and what I should and shouldn't bring up.

I wanted some assurance with the whole Layla thing, but it felt like I needed some prior information first

Even with how well I liked to think I could read his thoughts, right now, I couldn't tell where he stood with her

I used to know. It used to be the only undeniable fact I had.

I knew that even the deepest part of him had fixed itself on her, but now I wasn't sure.

Not since the freak out from the feral part of him the day he asked her.

This was information I wanted, but even then I was afraid of how it might come out.

This was all very touchy, and after my breakdown yesterday, I didn't want to risk letting that happen again.

My emotions still felt... tender in a sense. Like that fuze had reset itself from square one.

I needed time to rebuild those walls before trying to approach that.

Just in case I cant cover his eyes fast enough or-

My brows furrowed with realization as I thought on that a bit more.

The reason I never wanted him to see those kinds of emotions come from me was that I didn't want him to look down on me. I didn't want him to think that I was weak.

But strangely enough, none of what I felt yesterday was pity.

He just... heald me. He never pulled away from my hands on his eyes, he gave me explanations as I asked for them, and reassurances despite whether or not I was ready to believe them fully.

It was like he was following the rules I'd never set.

It felt secure in a way I couldn't properly explain despite the vulnerability I was so scared of.

I pulled the blanket tighter around me.

Never in my life could I imagine myself being completely wrapped in someone's arms, being held against them, and feel anything but terror.

I lowered my cup down towards my lap, eyes lifting as soon as I heard the bathroom door open.

One look at him and I could tell that he too had gotten some sleep.

The darkness under his eyes was completely gone. I could only blame the speed of their disappearance on something vampiric.

He took a single step out, wearing the pajamas I can only assume he was wearing before the shower.

And that hair that was even shaggy when wet.

His eyes went to the cage with his next step, which ended up being his last for now when he froze in the realization that I wasn't there.

With the speed at which he turned and lifted his head, I think he was aiming for looking at the window but it halted as soon as he spotted me on the couch.

I just stared back at him, taking another drink.

I noticed his gaze shift down to it, a small alleviated smile showing on his lips before he sucked the bottom one into his mouth.

"Uhm," He began awkwardly, "Good morning."

I hated the awkwardness. It didn't feel right, but I knew it was... appropriate.

At least for now.

If anything it made it easier for me not to get attached to our banter and his playfulness all over again.

"Mornin'," I replied quietly.

I bent my right arm at the elbow to grab my cup so that my other hand could pat the couch next to me, asking him to join.

His eyes rounded at my action, switching between me and where my hand was as if to make sure he was understanding it correctly.

After a bit of hesitation, he caved in and made his way over, drawing a hand through his hair to pull it from his face.

I could see him looking at the spot on the couch the closer he got like he was gauging how much space he was going to put between us.

Luckily, he ended up sitting in the middle of the cushion next to me.

He leaned forward, hands steepled between the knees that were pointed in my direction.

I had his full attention, those mossy eyes still wide in uncertainty.

He made it look like I was about to scold him.

Even if I wanted to, I still didn't have the energy for that.

"How's um- hows your shoulder," He asked.

"Which one?" I replied casually.

Only to partially regret my snark the moment I saw him wince at it.

Alright, I probably didn't have to go there, but...

I forgot he's not as into my self-deprecating jokes as I am.

And I guess sarcasm was one of my ways of helping me deal with it.

I clarified my answer to save him from having to respond.

"It's sore, but not dislocated anymore, so...better. You do have some pain meds lying around somewhere, right?"

He straightened like he was gonna fly out of his seat.

"I do. I'll go get some right now."

I just shook my head, raising the cup to my lips for another moment.

Xander never read the labels on those meds, just gives them as his brother directs.

"Later. I'm not supposed to take 'em on an empty stomach."

He fell back into his prior posture with a deflated, "Oh."

I felt my fingers press harder into the cup.

I wanted to talk to him about it, even if it was just a little bit.

It didn't have to be completely direct, just something.

"Are you still going to the ball?" The words were quieter than I wanted them to be.

I don't think that was the question he was expecting.

Not with how long it was until he answered it.

"I am," He sounded wary, "Nico called earlier, and uh, he's strangely looking forward to it, so I'm hoping that we can actually enjoy ourselves."

Nico actually called? Weird, I thought I dreamed that. Or part of it.

But that wasn't the strangest thing about what he just said.

Nico was looking forward to it?

Or maybe that was the second strangest thing.

He didn't mention Layla at all.

And I couldn't tell if that was for my sake or if that was truly his thought process.

"Would you prefer if I didn't?" he asked suddenly.

It was my turn to be surprised.

Especially with how serious he was about it.

He didn't even sound bummed if that were to be the case, just genuinely curious.

Would I? Even If I did, I don't think I'd go as far as to keep him from going.

If he wanted to go for his brother, then he should, and if Layla ends up being an issue... If he's just hiding her from me then I'll figure that out eventually too.

"No. No that's not it, I was just wondering is all."

His eyes furrowed just a noticeable amount as he momentarily glanced towards my chest.

He was checking if I was lying.

Usually, that knowledge would anger me, but this time I found it strange.

How willing he looked to be if I had said yes.

Like he would have just dropped a night of hanging out with his brother that meant the world to him just to appease me.

Which... It would but...

Ugh, I don't know.

Xander must not have found a lie in me, which solidified my answer for me.

I didn't want to control him like that.

"Are you sure?" he questioned.

I just nodded with the small smile that I could muster.

"What are you gonna wear?" I asked, changing the subject for my own sake.

"I-" he stopped, a familiar, stunned look covering his face that instantly gave me the answer for him.

'I haven't done it yet.'

Or in this case, figured out what he was wearing.

"I haven't gotten that far," He admitted quietly.

"Want some help then," I offered, much to his surprise.

It'll give me something to do other than sit here and fight with my emotions about something that wasn't completely within my control.

Especially with the stupid large variety of clothes Xander had and neglected in his closet in favor of his loose-fitting pajamas.

There was a softening in his features like overall he had just relaxed. With a smile that matched.

"Please."