Xander's POV:

The place I wanted to take her was... busier than I had anticipated.

Granted, it was quite a popular picnic spot, I just didn't think it would be as popular during the winter.

Doe didn't seem to mind though and actually looked to be content people-watching as she nibbled on the chicken skewers we had gotten from a nearby vendor.

I'd finished mine a few minutes ago, and was now lying face-up on the dark blanket with one leg bent over the other, soaking up the direct sunlight through the cold air.

She sat crisscrossed right beside me, her head turning every so often as she gazed around the people here.

I turned my head to its side, doing a brief look-over myself.

Almost all of the groups here consisted of two people per blanket on this slow-cleared area of grass, all sitting very close to each other.

It looked like most of these people were on dates.

That thought stewed in my head for a moment, finally clicking something that made my eyes widen in sudden realization.

Holy shit we look like we're on a date.

Of course, my purr began rumbling at the thought alone, at the mere concept of that being what was happening right now.

Followed shortly by a warmth flooding over my shoulders and up to my face.

Oh, come on!

I tried to put a stop to it but found it to be just as effective as arguing with a brick wall.

Every excuse I thought of to try to convince myself that the idea was too farfetched and unattainable just got either shot down or hit with an internal 'I don't care'.

We're not the same species.

I don't care.

There's no way this is natural.

I don't care.

I need to stop this before this gets out of hand.

Immediately shot down.

I was stuck. I was completely stuck and I didn't know what to do about it.

It was a different kind of stuck than when it was with Layla, so much so that it took me till now to finally see it for what it was.

This one didn't feel like a suffocating trap. This one was warm and welcoming.

It was fingers gently intertwined with mine instead of a hand holding me by the throat.

I glanced up at her, the sun brightening her hair as it flowed with the soft breeze.

And yet I held myself back.

There was one thing that I couldn't dispute. That being that this was a very one-sided thought.

She didn't grow up learning about these sorts of things.

She was brought up as a human programmed to never show emotions.

Or to never live long enough to begin to discover them on their own terms...

It was indoctrinated into her during the most developmental part of her life... So many shitty things were.

She wasn't taught or even showed attraction or romance.

She was taught to serve and give in ever since of the words. Even down to the most violating and defiling of actions.

I felt that angry tension in my jaw again the more I thought about it.

All of that was setting her up for complete failure in the real world.

I wanted to help her discover everything she needed, and assure that everything they nailed into her mind gets torn to shreds.

And I wanted it all to be with me. I so selfishly wanted to be the one to show her

Just like with the hickey I... I didn't trust anyone else to do it correctly. To focus on her growth and happiness the way I knew I could and would.

She was so strong and yet so frail. The thought of someone else coming along and treating her with anything short of utmost care and respect riled up that deeper part of me.

Well, every part of me.

I just wanted her to be clear of any lingering effects of her upbringing so it didn't pose a problem later for her.

If she did eventually drift from my life...

I wanted her in a mindset where even if she couldn't be mine in the long run, at least she'd know what to expect from the others that may step in.

She needed that freedom and knowing that, I also knew that the possibility that she'd never feel anything for me was something that I couldn't just ignore.

I was aware that I was one of the last people to ever deserve her, but even that knowledge couldn't deter that pull to her that I could no longer try to deny.

I'm gonna have to fight myself quite a bit when the time comes for me to bite her...

Her head turned again, fixing towards a couple to our left.

Her eyes widened a minuscule amount before they narrowed as if she was studying them.

Curious, I followed her gaze, spotting a woman peppering her girlfriend's face in kisses as she giggled, before planting one right on her lips.

I listened through my still-going purr as her heart rate increased, turning tack towards her.

She glanced at me, noticed that I was looking, and quickly turned her head to the other side as if embarrassed.

And now her heart was beating even faster.

Interesting.

I lifted myself into a sitting position, setting a hand on the blanket behind her and leaning on it.

"Y'know, some people don't like it when they get stared at," I commented.

"And some people are gonna realize you're a vampire if you don't get that purring under control," the way she tried to speak sternly further proved her embarrassment as she still refused to look at me.

Well, yes, that's true, but it was still relatively quiet and these people didn't have advanced hearing.

I looked around once more just to make sure, concluding that if we were truly on a date as most of these people probably assumed, we would undoubtedly be the cutest couple here.

I just let her stew in her reaction for a while longer, hoping that she might tell me what was on her mind.

Finally, she slowly turned her head straight.

"That was just... different from the kissing they talked about back at the pet shop," she quietly disclosed, "I was just surprised and intrigued is all."

"They covered kissing with you?" I asked, trying to hide the building frustration that forms whenever I begin to think about that place.

Luckily, I don't think she noticed.

"Well, yeah," She began, "They walked us through a lot of physical things. I was just told not to expect it just by itself. That it was going to be followed up with something more sexual."

My claws were begging for a release at how causally she spoke that sentence.

"There's a very big difference between what you were taught, and what a real relationship should be," I began, still battling to keep myself outwardly calm, "Kissing is just a versatile way to show affection."

I glanced down to the skin on her neck that I could see.

"Like when I kissed your neck."

Her breath caught at my last statement, her shoulders growing just noticeably rigid.

That color returned to her face again too.

"Oh..." was her almost timid reply.

I smiled to myself at the sound of it, letting her think that over.

They must not have covered hand-holding in your youth, cuz she went for that just fine.

Nearly killing me from shock in the process, but totally worth it.

"I think you'll find that a lot of things are different than what they taught you," I began again, "You were raised for a purpose you were never used for, and will never be used for in the context you've been taught to expect."

Her lips pulled to the side, eyes staring at the wooden skewer that once held her lunch.

"Yeah, I think I'm starting to realize that," she said.

Well, that's good to hear.

At least she's sort of already getting set down the right path.

She set the skewer to the side with the rest of them, leaning back against where my arm was.

I hooked that arm around her waist as a response, pulling her down with me as I fell back into that laying position I was in before.

She even let out one of those little gasps she does when she's surprised but ended up with her head on my arm right beside me.

I relished the way her hand instinctively grabbed for my shirt- er well, jacket as I pulled her down.

And absolutely adored the soft laugh that passed her lips after it was over.

I swear the sound of that did something to me, the same way my ever-growing purr looked to do to her.

She rolled onto her side, setting her hand on my chest to feel where it was radiating.

Half of me wanted to turn my body to face her and envelop her completely, but the other was quite possessive of keeping how she relaxed into me in that position private.

Like no one else deserved to see her like that.

I used to think that I was completely fine with PDA, but instead, it seemed that I was learning quite a lot about myself alongside her.

Learning just how protective of everything I was when it came down to her.

Not that I was complaining.

No... With her, I knew there would never be anything to complain about.