Aeress

It was six on the dot when Aeress opened the apartment door.

She was thrown back in time at the sight of Shaya sitting at their little kitchen table.

They had moved in during their junior year of college with a couple other girls, but the others left once they all graduated. The nights of painful abdominals caused by excessive laughing. The buckets of ice cream and endless streams of phone calls to the nearest takeout places. Times when Aeress felt most loved and supported, a time when she could be free of shame and unafraid of judgement. A period of her life she could never forget even if she tried.

Aeress remembered the one special night when the heat stopped working in the dead of weekend, so they shared the same bed and held each other for warmth, whispering to each other their deepest secrets and fears.

Or so Aeress thought...

Shaya sprung up. "You came, I miss-"

Aeress held up a hand and she immediately shut her mouth. She breathed in and out, taking in the fact that she actually put herself directly in the same space as the person she dreamed of killing over and over, and she almost did once upon a time. She also loved this person more than anything in this world, as much as she refused to admit it. Although, this in no way excused her actions, in fact, it made it worse.

Even then, she felt the urge to eliminate Shaya altogether, but this wasn't about him in that moment, it was about them, sister to sister, stranger to stranger now.

With more resolve and and a pinch of pride, she calmly took a seat across from Shaya.

She refused to look at Shaya at first and instead looked around at their place. In clear need of dusting, yet it still had the remnants of a home they once shared together.

The walls were painted a darkened orange, covered by frames and paintings and other random shit. The floors were all tile, most likely originally white, but now they were creme. Besides the two bedrooms and bathroom, everything else was open, like most city places. She eyed the random pieces of furniture they bought from thrift stores. Her favorite was the big floral and velvet couch. The cushions had so many stains but you couldn't point them out unless you were the one who caused them. How many hours had she spent on it studying, eating, and talking? Countless.

So long ago was that time of what she now referred to as tranquility.

She couldn't avoid it any longer and met Shaya straight on.

Aeress sucked in a breath of shock. Shaya was always dedicated to keeping up her appearance since the day they met, but in this moment, she looked like complete shit. She had lost weight, with sharp cheekbones and exhausted eyes. How far she had fallen.

She hated herself for it, but her heart stung with sympathy, and even guilt.

"Sorry, I must look like shit!" Shaya ran a hand over her growing, tangled hair. She cleared her throat and cast her eyes downward.

"Yeah, you do." Aeress felt the urge to make her feel better, but she snuffed it out before it could grow.

"Thank you for coming, Aeress."

Aeress shrugged, putting up a facade of indifference. It was all a lie. "I invited you, didn't I?"

Shaya finally looked up, clearing her throat. "Why, Aeress? I never thought you'd speak to me again. I never thought I'd see you again."

"That was the plan," she admitted, unflinchingly.

"Then what changed?" she asked sadly, clearly not enjoying the fact that Aeress was being so cold.

"The same thing that tore us apart." She looked directly into her eyes.

She hesitated. So she must have known that her next words would decide the direction of their conversation? "Whatever he said, I'm still thankful you've come back."

"This isn't a reunion. I didn't come here to reconcile," Aeress snapped. "I came for the truth, and don't even think about lying to me, because I will know! Trust me when I say the consequences will be very painful for you and very satisfying for me."

Shaya swallowed with fear entering her eyes, and an evil part of Aeress enjoyed it while the other side of her hated it. "What do you want to know? I'll tell you anything you want to know, I don't care what happens to me." It was like she was begging.

Aeress settled in her chair. "Everything, don't leave anything out, I mean it, not one detail."

Shaya looked like she was going to be sick, but she nodded anyway. "Okay, then. You're right, you deserve the truth, and if I can give you one last thing, I will give you this. I will start from the beginning, if that's okay with you?"

Aeress didn't move an inch, she simply waited.

"I am a werewolf. I was born that way, and I knew it my entire life. My family and I did belong to a pack at one point, but I'm sorry, I can't even remember the name. It was such a long time ago. My life wasn't anything special, we were just like anyone else. Maybe that was the problem, not that there was one. And then when I turned fourteen, I met Jonah. At that time, I died whenever any male gave me the light of day, let alone a handsome, older man. I thought I was in love. I was wrong and I didn't even know it. I gave him everything; my virginity, my devotion, my time, he was my first everything, anything you could think of, it was him who took it.

I did so blindly, unthinking, giving him whatever I had to offer. I was impulsive and tone-deaf. Maybe he did love me in his own, disgusting way, but we were never that story of beauty and the beast. We were toxic, we were completely wrong. I believed that I loved this dangerous man so much that I left my family behind and ran away with him. I knew that he wanted to take the crown from Premier, but I just didn't care. Nothing else mattered, beside the fact that I thought I would be his queen. I felt important, I felt special."

She laughed dryly. "I thought I knew everything there was to know in this world." Her face completely morphed with joy. "But then when I was fifteen, I met Amir, my mate, and realized how wrong I was." Aeress felt her eyes widen with shock. Shaya closed her eyes and sighed as if she was savoring his name. "You would've loved the hell out of him. I know I did. This was true love. He understood me, he completed me. And then he gave me the greatest gift in the world: David. My baby." She faltered. There was quietness for the longest time. "It was like heaven on Earth, I tell ya'." She revealed her pearly whites for a part of a second. "There was nothing more I wanted. I was giving the man I love a firstborn son, what else could I possibly need? When I was sixteen and seven months pregnant, there was an accident."

Aeress felt like she would die in that moment as she watched the horror and tragedy in Shaya's body. "He had just picked me up from a shift. It was raining hard. I'll never forget it. We hit an animal, the car went spinning. I remember that all I could do was scream 'Amir, the baby! Amir, the baby!'. And then we flipped right into a river. Next thing I know, I'm waking up in a hospital seven days later... I never even got to hold him!" Tears streamed down her cheeks, and she began to sob. "Amir and David were dead. I wanted to die, Aeress. I wanted to be with them. What else was there for me?" She wiped her face.

"I was on the streets. I tried to kill myself many times and got committed many times. And then one day Jonah came to the hospital and took me. I thought he would kill me for leaving him for Amir, but instead he embraced me and comforted me. I didn't know what else to do then go with him. He wouldn't kill me when I begged him to. He said my purpose was to be his, forever and always."

"That's what I needed: purpose. So I latched onto him with both hands and became obsessed. I worked as his soldier, recruiting human women to join his cause. I forgot about everything until I was consumed. I was disgusted by myself eventually though, because Amir and David refused to be forgotten. And then I realized that Jonah wasn't my savior, he was my punishment. This, I embraced with open arms."

"So I let him use me and hurt me. He raped me so many times. Somewhere along the line, I think he enjoyed the fact that I saw his worst and still never fought back. He humiliated me as one played a sport, enjoying my pain and obedience. I thought this was what I deserved for trying to forget my mate and my baby. It went on for years. I gave girls to Jonah without a second thought. I became a zombie. I wasn't really living. I was brainwashed. He took advantage of me. And then one night when he was high, he revealed the truth to me: an animal didn't cause the crash that destroyed my life, he did."

Aeress felt like she would be sick. She felt a rage as well, one which bubbled, simmering, waiting to erupt.

But she was mild when compared to Shaya, who literally vibrated with fury. "He did all of this. He was the cause of my pain. I wanted to kill him, make him suffer, make him understand just a fraction of my pain. But while I had been brainwashed, I knew I could never dream of killing him. He had too much damn power. I was no fucking match. I never would be. It killed me, Aeress. I fucked the man who killed my soulmate, my baby. I thought I would die, I did die. Just not close enough."

Shaya wiped the tears. "So I took myself to the river where they died on a similar, stormy night and I jumped, because I was done suffering. For just a second, I could almost see them, Amir and David. It was heaven. But they were disappointed with me, it broke my heart. And something strange happened. I felt warmth. I felt strength. And I also felt betrayed. Someone was pulling me out of the water."

"Warrick?" Aeress whispered.

Shaya nodded. "He saved me, brought me back to life. I didn't understand why. But he gave me something I needed: a chance. A chance at revenge. I knew I could never beat Jonah, but him? I never believed anything more. It didn't take much convincing for me to be won over. I soon began working for him, feeding him information whenever I could. And instead of dying, I decided to live long enough so that I could see the devil die. And this went on for a little while, having to go back as if I wasn't having sex with a murderer, a demon, a vile, disgusting bastard."

Shaya looked up at Aeress finally. "And then I found you." She smiled. Aeress felt her breath catch in her throat. "I had never met anyone so genuine. And for the first time, I found a Scented but couldn't deliver her to Jonah. You were mine, my little secret. I never thought I would ever find joy again, but you proved me wrong, you became my family. I wanted to tell you the truth from the beginning, but I didn't want to chance putting you in my world. I didn't want you to feel the pain I did. In a way, you were my escape. And I know what I did was wrong, I should have told you the truth since the start, but I thought I was protecting you! I know now that I was wrong and that I hurt you deeply. I will never forgive myself for that."

"Why the nightclub? If you were trying to protect me, why take me straight to them?"

She shook her head. "Jonah found out about you, or at least he was very close to it. I know what kind of man he is, I knew what he would do to someone like you. I was taking you to see Warrick, to see if maybe I could get you under his protection, but then everything went wrong. Jonah was there, he didn't tell me! Oh God, I'm so sorry, Aeress!" She crumbled. "Please, forgive me. I love you, I didn't mean to hurt you, I swear to God!" She was sobbing heavily, her whole body shaking from the trauma. "I love you so much, I would never hurt you. Please, don't leave me, you're all I have!"

Aeress couldn't hold herself back anymore. Her resolve cracked. She ran to her best friend, took her into her arms and embraced her so tightly, it was almost painful. "Shh. Shh. It's alright. I forgive you." She was crying too now, overhwelmed by the guilt which weighed on her chest threatening to crush her chest. "It's me who's sorry. I should have never ignored you. I should have listened." Her voice trembled with regret. "I'm so sorry about everything. I didn't know about your family, I'm so sorry, Shaya. Please forgive me. You don't deserve any of this."

Shaya just kept crying to the point that she was almost screaming. "Aeress, my baby! He's gone. They're both gone! Oh God, why?!" Her heart shattered. How could such tragedy happen to Shaya, and Aeress was completely blind to it?

Between the both of them, they cried enough to fill the ocean. From past and present pain.

An hour passed until they were quiet and dealing with terrible headaches. Crying felt good, but the aftermath made you feel like trash.

At this point, they were snuggled on the couch, refusing to let the other one go. How could they? They were family. Nothing could ever tear them apart. Everything was in the air, for the both of them to see.

"Aeress?" Her voice was weak from revealing all her horrors.

"Yes, Shaya?" Aeress was scratching her delicate arm, she used to ask her to do it all the time before.

"I'm sorry I kissed Warrick." She sounded hesitent, afraid even. It left a bitter taste in her mouth.

Aeress shook her head, sighing in frustration. "It doesn't matter-"

"Yes, it does, because you were right, I did love him!" Her voice strengthened.

Aeress swallowed and that picture came back to mind. "I know." She felt defeated in a way.

"But I swear to God I didn't know you were mates." She had a desperation to her, but it didn't make Aeress's anger lessen.

"Shaya, it's okay." Just because it still hurt her heart, it didn't mean she would punish Shaya forever. She didn't do anything wrong, none of this was her fault. She was completely wrong before.

"No, it's not. I know you're lying to me to make me feel better. I know it still hurts you. So, please, just ask."

She paused, Shaya knew her too well. "Do you still love him?"

"No. I haven't seen him in a year. What else do you want to know?"

"Did you have sex?" Her voiced shook at the question and she braced for the answer.

"No, he didn't even... it was very one-sided. I know now that he didn't love me. It was pretty obvious. He never even suggested anything. He could have easily taken advantage of me in that way, but he didn't. He was strictly professional, but I still fell in love anyway. I'm the girl who falls in love with the man she can't have."

Aeress pushed down her instinctive anger and hurt, embracing the sympathy in her heart instead. "He's a bastard anyway, you're not missing out on much."

"Aeress..."

"Shaya?"

"I... I think you should give him a chance."

Now Aeress scowled. She couldn't help herself. "What the fuck are you talking about? He used you, don't you understand that? He used the both of us!"

Shaya shrugged. "I know that. But you don't really believe he is a bad person, do you? I mean, you've been punishing him for an entire year. What good has it done? It hasn't done shit for us."

"You don't understand-"

"Don't I though?"

"No, Saya, you don't. Please just drop it, I don't want to fight."

"I saw how much we hurt you, Aeress. I saw how much our kiss killed you. Don't lie to me, you love him, don't you?"

Aeress paused. "Yes, I did. But then everything changed. I've changed."

"But have your feelings changed?"

"Yes."

"Girl, I know when you're lying!"

"It doesn't matter, I could never trust him again, be with him the same way."

"That's not true, and you know it. You've been avoiding him for the same reason you were avoiding me: you were afraid of being hurt again. You still are."

"So what? Is it so bad that I want to protect myself? I don't care if I'm being selfish, I'm putting myself first."

"You're not selfish, you never were. But you gotta know that this is not healthy. You gotta talk to him, at least find some closure. You're mates for fuck's sake!"

Aeress wiped the tears away. "I swear to God you guys are tag-teaming me."

"I am not concerned with him, Aeress, I hope you know that. I care about you, not him, not in that way."

Aeress sighed. "I can't face him, Shaya."

"You're Godhead, you can face anything. Chin up, luscious lips, your crown is falling."

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Alrighty, so yeah, a lot of shit just happened. We received a lot of information, so I wouldn't be surprised if you were a little overwhelmed by now. But at least you know Shaya's truth!

I hope things are starting to make sense now, but we have yet to hear from Warrick so we will see how that goes! (I'm guessing not as smoothly as it went with Shaya)

Anyway please feel free to post questions, I love talking to you guys, as those who already comment know full and well lol

SEE YA'LL WITH THE NEXT CHAPTER <3