ALEX'S POV

"Where to?" I rumble, rubbing my aching temples as exhaustion pounds through my skull. The fact that we got started late today isn't doing me any favors.

"I had a hunch. You know the phone call Olivia Bushwich took when we were in her studio?"

"Vaguely" I mutter.

"It was Nat."

I straighten, focusing on Blaze, my headache momentarily forgotten.

"I got one of my contacts to hack the studios records, and Nat Lewis booked a spot in this evenings class. We know where she's going to be at 3 pm today."

My gaze flickers to the clock on the dash and my pulse skitters. That's half an hour away.

Blaze takes the spot farthest from the door and cuts the engine, highlighting the tense silence.

I count the seconds, each one feeling like a year until a car pulls into the empty lot and time stops.

The drivers side door opens, then my starved gaze takes in every minute detail like she'll disappear any second. Black jeans, tight shirt, leather jacket and boots. A completely different look then the dress she was wearing when we met and honestly even tho she looked absolutely stunning that night I prefer this. It feels more.. her.

Long, dark curls cascade down her back, falling in a perfect mess, making my fingertips twitch with the need to burying themselves into the hair closest to her nape to hold her to me as I do what I should of done days ago and kiss her. Her lips are bare and the palest, most tempting shade of pink, tempting every part of me. She's not wearing any makeup and seeing her eyes in the light of day? My gut clenches to the point of agony but damn if it isn't the sweetest pain. But what has my heart lurching is the gun resting on her hip, and the familiarity with which she walks with it.

"Shit" Blaze curses under his breath. I don't know if it's in response to seeing her or the gun, but either way I have to agree.

We watch her disappear into the studio.

"What's the plan?" I ask, not seeing anything in front of me. All I see is her eyes. Her lips. Her hair. The gun.

I shudder as shivers of apprehension snake down my spine.

"Don't have one" he admits roughly, surprising me. Blaze always has a plan.

I don't know how to respond to that, so I don't.

"Guess she decided to take the class" I note after ten minutes of trying to will her to walk out and into my arms.

I see his distracted nod from the corner of my eye, but we both know I was more so talking to myself than him.

Twenty endless minutes later she comes back out, taking my breath away just like the first time.

Blaze starts the car, following as she pulls out of the lot and merges into the stream of traffic.

"Where is she going?" Blaze murmurs after a few minutes of seemingly random turns, following as she makes another one. It's an alley that dead ends against a brick wall.

When we've fully turned in she hits the gas and veers left, making her car swerve horizontally, blocking ours.

Blaze curses as he slams on the brakes, barely managing to avoid hitting her car.

She yanks the door open and has her gun out and pointed at Blaze before we even completely come to a stop.

"Holy shit" I whisper, staring at her without blinking.

Her chest is heaving, but her hands are steady as she glares through the tinted windows, motioning Blaze out of the car.

I once again find myself wondering what this woman is capable of, alarmed at the knowledge that it doesn't matter. No matter what she's mine.

Blaze is smiling in what looks like pride, but it's the heat behind that pride that makes me want to rearrange his teeth.

"Can you.. stay in the car for a minute?" He asks softly.

I want to refuse, but it's the tone of his voice. Blaze doesn't do soft.

I just nod, unable to force a word past my suddenly tight throat.

He tries for another smile, but this time it's forced as nerves overtake him. Something else Blaze doesn't do.

"Thank you."

He opens the door, lifting his hands in the air as a sign of surrender as he gets out and kicks the door closed.

Emotions flicker across her features, too quick to make out much, but i'm mesmerized all the same.

He looks like he wants to move closer to her, but he's rooted to his spot, the fight against himself making him tremble.

Not seeming to have the same problem, she holsters the gun, closing the distance in seconds, breathing too fast while neither of us breathes at all.

He lurches forward, taking the last step separating them as she leaps into his arms and wraps her legs around his hips.

He easily catches her with a hand on her ass to keep her up and the other tangled in her hair, anchoring her to him like he's terrified she'll disappear and fuck me, she.. she holds him just as desperately, every beautiful line of her body shaking just as much as his.

A tortured sound leaves my throat, because I highly doubt i'll get that warm of a greeting.

I reach over the center console, rolling down Blaze's window just enough so that I can hear what they're saying, but not enough that she can see me. I don't want to hear what they say, but I need to.

"Laze" she hushes into his skin, her voice painfully thick.

Laze? They have nicknames?

I fight the animalistic urge to rip them apart and carry her as far from him as possible.

"How are you Laze?" She asks in knowing concern as she leans back to trace his face with gentle fingertips, seemingly trying to memorize it.

He leans into her touch, turning his head to brush his lips across her palm in a barely there caress, making her visibly shiver.

"Better now" he assures meaningfully, his voice a gentle that I didn't even know he was capable of.

I've never wanted anything more than for her to look at me like she's looking at him right now.

"How are you?" He asks back.

She glances at the gun on her hip and the position of their cars, coughing out a dry laugh.

"I've been better" she confesses, making us both flinch. "Are you riding solo?" She asks before he can respond, glancing my way, unable to see me through the tinted windows, but I freeze all the same.

He raises his eyebrows, telling me it's time to make myself known, yet suddenly i'm paralyzed. I can't move, can't do anything but stare at her, aching.

Absolute terror rocks my body.

What if i'm not enough? What if she's looking for me just to tell me off? What if anything we could have isn't stronger than what she feels for Blaze? What if she learns everything and walks away? Decides i'm not worth it? Too broken? What if all I ever have is ten minutes in the rain, and this ache never goes away? Will I be the man with the beautiful mission of spending his whole life trying to get her to see her halo, or will I just watch as another man takes my place until hell calls my name?

"Yeah, i'm riding alone" Blaze replies after a minute, reading the situation, knowing i'm too terrified to move.

"Why were you following me?" She asks curiously.

His gaze flickers away from hers for the first time since he got out of the car.

Not wanting to reveal my part in all of this, he tells the truth without revealing the truth.

"I miss you" there's an intensity to those eight letters that speaks of so much.

She closes her eyes like she's drinking in the words. Like she needed to hear them, breaking a very vital part of me, because she and Blaze run deep. It's so goddamn easy to see. Deeper than I imagined, making me wonder if I ever had a chance.

"I've missed you too" she damn near whispers, and her beautiful voice cracks with the force of her emotions.

"Hey, hey, no, none of that" he orders gently, cupping her cheek to trace her cheekbone with the pad of his thumb, catching the single teardrop that falls.

"I'm good, i'm good" she lies, blinking rapidly.

His expression is dry and loving.

"But i've been better" she concedes, laughing a bit huskily.

He laughs with her, but there's no humor in either sound, making me feel like i'm missing something.

"We.. we need to catch up" she states suddenly, her full lips spread in a watery smile that feels like a punch to the chest.

"Yeah, we do" he agrees softly.

"Come to my place tomorrow?" she suggests.

It takes me too long to fully register her words and I stiffen. Her place. He wouldn't.... Would he?

He lets her down so she can give him her number and address, but she moves closer then necessary once she's written them down, leaning the length of her body into his as she stretches onto her tiptoes and kisses his cheek.

"I really missed you Blaze" she repeats into his skin, saying his name, and of course it effects him.

He groans, dropping his forehead to hers as he breathes her in with breaths that visibly shudder through him.

She clutches his shirt so tightly she crumples the paper, inhaling him just as deeply. Just as desperately.

The ache spreading through me deepens to unbearable heights, making me wonder how my heart is still beating. Fucking hell, this hurts.

"I've missed you too Natalie" he choruses so softly I almost miss it, but realization smacks me in the face. Nat is a nickname. Did he give it to her?

"Call me tonight Blaze, okay?" She pleads as his hand covers hers on his chest and he takes the paper.

"You won't even have time to miss me" he swears.

"I already do" she argues quietly.

He nearly flinches, and I fight not to echo the sentiment. Why in the hell didn't I get out of the car? Why don't I now?

"I already miss you too."

"Then you'd better call me" she orders with a sniffle that fills me with absolute adoration.

"I will" he promises, reluctantly pulling away.

"Good" she whispers, holding his gaze a moment longer before spinning on her heels and heading for her car.

Blaze forces himself to get into the car and back out of the alley, parking at the curb so she can pull out.

We both watch her drive away, staring at the spot she disappeared for a long time.

"What is she to you?" It's not a demand. It's not a question. It's a soft, terrified plea. I'm begging him to tell me I can be more to her than he can. That what we have is deeper than whatever they do.

"She was with me in Iraq."

Everything stops for one terrifying second as his words register, slowly at first, then all at once.

I inhale sharply, but the sound turns tortured as I press the heel of my palm against my chest, hoping to ease the slice of pain his words cause, to no avail.

Blaze saw terrible things. Did terrible things. It changed him. He refuses to talk about his time over there, and I respect that. Anytime it comes up he gets this look in his eyes that kills me. It's pain, memories and darkness.

Fuck me, would she get the same look?

This is it. This is what I was missing. He said that she's seen terrible things that would change anyone, but that didn't change her. That her taking on a guy in a dark alley with a knife was nothing.

God everything makes so much sense now. I wish it didn't.

"How many?" I rasp. He knows. He knows what i'm asking. How many tours did she have.

"Same three as me" he answers distantly as he gets lost in memories, but unlike normal they aren't all bad ones.

Three. Three tours in hell.

So much lays unsaid, yet understood in the thick, painful silence that follows.

We stay at the mouth of the alley long after the sun sets, never saying a word. I see things so much better now, but i've never been so unsure of my place in things. In her life. Her heart. Do I even have one?