NAT'S POV

I'm sitting in my car, in front of my apartment, that much I'm sure of. How I got here? Not so much.

Seeing Blaze again..? God it's been so long. I didn't realize just how much I missed him until I was in his arms again.

I force myself out of my car, slowing my steps when I notice a large package on my doorstep. Crouching down, I look at the label. Color Me Inspired Art Supplies. He said the middle of the week, I guess he was right.

I unlock my door and set the box on the small table in my foyer before changing into a large t shirt and pouring myself a glass of wine.

Practically collapsing onto the couch, I place my phone on the coffee table, staring holes through it. Why the hell isn't the damn thing ringing?

I pick it up to make sure the ringer is on, but it slips through my slightly shaking fingers, falling to the floor, thankfully landing on the rug.

Cursing, I reach for it again, sighing when I find the ringer on.

Tossing it onto the table once more, I lie back, taking a distracted sip of my wine as my thoughts drift.

I have a rule about Iraq. If the memory involves laze I can relive it. Get lost in it. But if it doesn't involve him it's off limits, even to me. I don't want to remember the bloodshed, I just want to remember the love I found in the middle of a battlefield. The friend I gained. The man that knows almost every skeleton in my closet by name and still loves me more than I can express. The man whose scars I know by heart but that I love just as much.

I almost choke when my phone unexpectedly starts to ring, piercing the silence as it buzzes itself across the table.

I lurch up, fumbling for it, still coughing.

Taking a big gulp of wine and a deep breath, I wait until the last second to hit answer.

"Hello?" I call, greeted by a long pause full of shallowing breaths.

"Hon" he whispers gently.

I close my eyes against the pain. I haven't heard his voice call me that in so long. Too long.

"Darlin'" I counter, my version of hon, barely seeing anything in front of me as I set my glass down.

"What are you wearing?" He tries to joke, but it just makes the ache deepen. Because of the uniform, he'd always make that joke if we were on a mission and he was on one side of the com and I was on the other. He'd tell it just to ease the tension. He'd ask what I was wearing. I'd laugh everytime, even though he told the joke a million times before and I always expected it.

"A t shirt" I admit softly.

"Anything else?" He begs- whether to tell him i'm wearing more or nothing else I don't know.

I bite my lip as warmth curls low in my stomach.

"Panties" I hush.

"Lace?"

"You know the answer to that" I point out easily and without thought. He damn well knows if i'm not wearing lace i'm not wearing anything.

A deep sound escapes his throat, making a feminine sound escape mine.

"Color?"

"Hmm.. Let me check" I purr, lifting my shirt, making cool air wash over my heated skin as the material brushes sensitive, aroused flesh. "Red. They're red Laze."

His full lips and rich voice wrap around a string of curses that travel over my skin like a touch, lingering in all the best places.

"You know I love it when you talk dirty to me" I tease, sliding my heel up the inside of my calf, imagining it's Laze touching me.

"Natalie." He says my name like a prayer and a curse, low and vibrating warning. It's the sexiest warning i've ever received, and the easiest i've ever ignored.

"Blaze" I plead. Why is he so far away?

"Fuck me" he hisses.

"Oh darlin, if only you were here" I damn near taunt, shifting restlessly when the lace of my panties rubs against my clit.

His control breaks with a vicious growl that rocks my aching body.

"Goddammit. If I could I would be so far inside of you that you would. Never. Get. Me. Out. How's that?" he grates, making me writhe. He's not even touching me and i'm writhing for him.

My gasp is all the answer he needs.

"If I was there right now, what would you want me to do?" The challenge quivers as it falls from his bee-stung lips like honey.

"I'd take your clothes off Laze. I need to touch you and look at what's mine" I hush, knowing his dark eyes would track my every move like the predator I make him, the thought alone driving me insane. "You take my shirt off as I straddle your hips, every inch of us touching, skin on skin." I shudder at the thought of his skin touching mine, trembling. "You fist my hair, tilting my head to kiss my neck, sucking on the spot, leaving a mark" I continue, tilting the phone so it brushes my neck, imagining it was his tongue soothing the sting. "Your kisses slowly move lower" I murmur as goosebumps break out across my skin to chase the ghost of his hot mouth and seeking tongue.

I drag the phone down between my breasts, leaning into my own touch when I graze a hard, tight nipple and it sends shockwaves to my core. "I circle my hips" I breathe as I lift my hips, imagining him thrusting up and grinding us together. "You undo my bra and take off the straps with your teeth." I swear I feel the familiar bite of pain, making me dig my nails into my skin in need. "You rip my panties off" I husk, almost in a daze as I drag the phone lower.

His growl vibrates the phone and my skin, making me gasp and arch into the sensation as he takes over and his words turn deliciously strained.

"I'd taste you so goddamn slow. Savor you like the richest dessert. With slow licks. I remember how you taste Natalie. So goddamn sweet. I'll drown in your taste, then i'll make you taste how fucking sweet you are" he bites out, his voice trembling and a promise, not a hypothetical.

My shuddering inhale echoes his, filling my lungs with the ghost of his taste as my body quakes like I know his is.

"I make love to you slow and gentle." His rich baritone unexpectedly falls to a smooth rumble that speaks of adoration.

My pounding heart flutters.

"I leave my marks all over you, marking you as mine. Only. Mine" he forces out through clenched teeth, and I can tell he wishes there was a mark.

God I wish it too.

"Laze i'm close" I confess thickly, shifting as a ripple radiates through my core.

"Me too" he promises tightly.

"God I need your hands on me. Your mouth" I whimper.

"I'd be inside you if I could hon" he swears.

The sound of his need for me sends me over the edge, spiraling into oblivion, his name pouring from my lips.

He falls with me, taking me higher with every grated plea that comes out on my name as pleasure washes over every inch of my body in mind blowing waves.

My fingers spasm around the phone, forcing me to tighten my grip so I don't drop it. I can't lose the sound of him falling apart. It's music to my ears.

I slowly melt into the cushion as the convulsions fade to tremors.

"Blaze..." I trail off, suddenly at a loss for words.

His next breath shakes more than mine.

"Go to sleep hon. I'll see you tomorrow" he orders gently.

"Mmhm" I hum, already anticipating it.

His deep chuckle travels over my sated body, leaving goosebumps as a sleepy shiver works its way through me.

"You know I love you right?" I blurt on impulse, aching in a way vastly different than a minute ago.

"Yeah" he chokes. "You know I love you too right?" He asks back, his voice impossibly soft.

I tip my head back, biting my lip so hard I taste blood, trying to force the tears back.

"Yeah Blaze. I know" I echo thickly.

"Go to sleep hon."

A sob gets caught in my throat, and I find myself wanting nothing more in this moment than to be in his arms. I need it. Need him.

"Sweet dreams Laze" I murmur, feeling cold as the distance between us becomes glaringly obvious.

"Sweet dreams Natalie" is the last thing I hear before i'm swept into the alluring darkness of sleep and for the first time in years I don't have nightmares.