NAT

I pace the length of my living room, moving to the kitchen for my next pass, needing a change of scenery.

Crap.

I basically had phone sex with Laze. I mean i've actually had sex with him, but now there's Alex and... this weird feeling that i've betrayed him even though he's the one that left me. I saw the longing in his eyes, but it wasn't enough to make him stay. He left a deep scar when he walked away so easily. I'd let my guard down. I let him in, and he trampled all over my heart, making it painful to put it back together. He may have a good reason, but honestly? Another word for that is excuse. I've been in the middle of a war and I found it in myself to let my guard down for a stranger. To let him in. But he found an excuse. I don't know if he's just self destructive or insecure, but he's not the only person he's hurting anymore.

Laze has stepped in front of bullets for me and shook me, screaming when I stepped in front of them for him. He knows all of my demons and he shares them. Well.. almost all of them. I know every part of that man, and love him more than I love anyone in this world. We're unshakable. When we got home we were so focused on getting the ground under us steady that we lost touch, but the feelings never wavered. Never lessened. I don't think they ever will. There's a part of my soul that's at home with Laze. It became his a long time ago.

I absentmindedly glance at the clock, more than a little annoyed to find that it's only been two minutes since the last time I looked. Why didn't we set up a time for today? I have a million vicious butterflies in my stomach, and my heart will not slow the hell down. It's funny how my heart rate is steady when i'm pointing a gun at somebody, but not when i'm in my apartment, alone, waiting for my best friend. Huh.

My mind wanders to last night's phone call and the butterflies multiply. It was the best orgasm i've ever had where another person wasn't touching me. Hell I wasn't even touching me. He's such a part of me that I felt him and every promise, filling me with an ache only he can satiate. I fell asleep listening to him breathe and slept better than I have in four days even though I was on my couch, and it had nothing to do with the orgasm.

The doorbell rings, cutting through my frenzied thoughts.

After a moment of blind panic I force my feet to carry me to the door, but my hand visibly shakes as I reach for the handle and pull it open.

Before I can blink strong arms snake around my waist, dragging me against a hard, unmoving body.

My hands fly to his chest to brace myself as I stumble into him, distantly noticing that under my palm his heart somehow manages to pound in perfect sync with mine.

He jerks at my touch, growling against my mouth as he claims my lips with years of pent up need.

I sway into him, feeling lightheaded.

His tongue flicks over my lips, not asking for entrance, demanding it as he deftly tugs out my hair tie, making my hair come tumbling down.

A sharp gasp opens my mouth for him, earning a deep sound of male approval that tastes of possession.

He delves his fingers into my falling hair, thrusting his tongue into my mouth, raising me onto my tiptoes so he can deepen an already deep kiss, every move he makes pleading for more.

I follow his ravenous pace, barely able to keep up.

He backs me into my apartment, slamming the door closed, spinning us around to pin me to it, never once breaking the wild, heart stopping kiss. Stopping. My. Heart.

I fist his shirt, dragging his body deeper into mine, nipping his full bottom lip.

He obliges my unspoken request, opening wider so I can rediscover every inch of him in a sensual exploration that shakes me to my core. God it's been so long since i've tasted him.

He slides a leg between mine, grinding his thigh against me.

I tip my head back against the door as I cling to him, unable to get close enough, simultaneously overwhelmed and desperate.

Showing no signs of slowing down, he takes the opportunity to dip his head and sink his teeth into my shoulder, no doubt leaving a mark, satisfying the part of me that will always belong to him.

He presses himself against my thigh, rubbing me with his as his tongue soothes the mark and he makes another.

Suddenly- out of nowhere- troubled green eyes framed by dark lashes stare into mine.

This time my gasp is a sound of torment as I push Blaze away, shivering at the cold air that washes over me without his warmth.

His handsome features are tight with desire, reheating my skin like his touch. His chest heaves with every ragged breath that falls from his swollen, parted lips as he tries to figure out what happened and whether or not i'd let him kiss me again.

I shake my head, holding a trembling hand between us as a barrier.

"Nat" The nickname he gave me comes out as a grated question, vibrating pure want.

I shudder under the deep timber of his voice, blinking until the gaze i'm drowning in changes from forest green to chocolate brown. There's a vulnerability and desperation in Blaze's eyes that goes straight to my heart and I have no doubt is mirrored in my own as we continue to stare at each other, breathing too much, so much said in the silence between us.

"Goddamnit" I mutter, closing the distance, pushing him up against the wall, pressing the length of my body against his, pinning him there. I cup the back of his neck and guide his head down as I rise onto my tiptoes, reconnecting our lips.

Pure relief breaks away the last tethers of his control as his hands slide deliciously down my thighs, then back up as they dip under my shirt. The same shirt I was wearing last night when he made all of those wicked promises that I pray to god he's about to fulfill.

Goosebumps chase the callused pads of his fingertips over my skin until his hands stop.

My sound of protest turns into a squeal when those rough hands wrap around the back of my thighs and he lifts me, forcing my legs around his hips.

I grip his shoulders to keep my balance as his long fingers hold me against him, inches from where I ache for him. I arch my hips in his hands, needing him to find the lace as I tug at his shirt, annoyed at the fabric preventing me from touching him.

He pulls his mouth away from mine long enough to let me pull it off before taking my lips in another scorching kiss.

I score my nails down his chest, swallowing the guttural sound that escapes his throat as my shaking fingertips reach his jeans.

His body tightens when I undo the button, pull down the zipper and slide my hand over him agonizingly slow, touching my tongue to his.

Not in the mood for teasing, his hands slide farther under my shirt, then seconds later it's off and god knows wherever his ended up. He spins us around to pin me to the wall, bracing his hands on either side of me, practically vibrating with restless, unsatiated desire.

I grip his hair as my vision blurs and my stomach clenches. Somehow it's too much and not enough.

The sweet sting forces him to press me farther into the wall, the weight of him between my thighs keeping us both up, sending tremors all the way to my toes as he pulls away just enough to find my eyes.

Heat curls over my skin as his fevered gaze fall to my lips, swollen from his, the look in them warming me from the inside out until i'm burning for him.

He closes the minuscule distance like a dying man who has seconds to live and all he wants is me, giving everything, taking more.

I match every movement of his, digging my heels into his back, grinding us together so brutally that my core spasms from the overwhelming pleasure.

His groan is agonized and rough against my skin as I grip his jeans and boxers, tugging them down as far as I can.

He kicks them the rest of the way off, leaving him naked with only a thin pair of panties and a matching bra separating us.

My smile turns mischievous because I only put the bra on because I wanted him to take it off.

I arch my back, plastering my naked torso to his, making the lace of my bra scrape against his bare chest.

He stiffens at the feeling, holding me so tight it hurts, but god; I wouldn't have it any other way.

I trace the shell of his ear with the edges of my teeth, slowly retrace the path with my tongue before tugging on his earlobe, sucking lightly. Not enough to leave a mark, just enough to earn a hissed breath between clenched teeth.

Before I can get farther he unclips my bra and by the time the straps hit my wrists he's filling his hands and his mouth with my flesh, stopping my hot exploration, starting his own.

I lean into his devilish touch, needing more.

He tears my panties off as his hungry mouth and ravenous tongue taste me and leave marks. The slightly rough material of the lace hits all the right places before it's thrown across the room.

"Inside me. Now" I demand breathlessly, digging my nails into his skin when he doesn't move fast enough.

"Working on it hon" he grates, sinking into me without pause.

"Darlin'" I husk, lifting my hips, pushing him a little deeper.

He drops his forehead to mine, and suddenly there's no him or I. Just us, sharing the same breath.

"You're so fucking beautiful. It feels so right being inside you. I was made to love you" he rasps, need and love making him hold me with the upmost tenderness despite the desire darkening his features.

"It's like coming home" I agree softly, tracing the corded line of his neck with unsteady fingertips, feeling the muscles tense and flex under my touch. "I could live forever with you inside me" I admit huskily.

"That is literally my dream world" he bites out as he pulls out of me, threading his fingers through mine and pinning our joined hands to the wall before thrusting back in, feeding the fire and easing it all at once.

He makes love to me, worshipping me with his touch, expressing his affection through possession and pleasure.

I meet every thrust as my nails dig into the backs of his hands, no doubt leaving marks.

His body claims mine over and over, and I surrender without hesitation, claiming him in return.

His gaze latches onto mine and holds us both captive, adding a whole other component that's soul deep.

I shakily inhale his ragged exhale, moaning at the taste of him.

His eyes- already dark and hazy, lidded with lust- smolder for me. Always for me.

Whispers turn into pleas, then we're tumbling into oblivion together, our mouths close enough to taste each others names breathed in the form of prayers.

I tighten my legs around his hips, pushing him impossibly deeper, drawing a sharp gasp from my throat and down his as I convulse around him.

"Blaze'" I hush thickly.

He lets one of my hands go to bury his fingers in my hair, tilting my head, exposing my neck to him.

My heart pounds in every inch of my overly sensitive skin as I wait for what I know is coming.

Anticipation licks my skin.

He catches my flesh between his teeth, sucking harshly, marking me as his and only his.

I tilt my head to give him better access, pressing deeper into his mouth.

The one word escapes on a feral, possessive growl as he slides his tongue over another mark he made while he was making love to me.

"Mine."