NAT'S POV

I leave mr Douglas's office, closing the door behind me, waiting for the knob to click into place under my hand before leaning against the hardwood, tipping my head back, letting out a trembling breath.

I'm barely holding on, feeling deprived of a man who held me for all of ten minutes, but left me feeling cold and empty without his arms around me. His scent. His warmth. His eyes, full of secrets, looking into mine like i've completed him when he never thought he'd ever be anything but broken.

I dread the thought of sleeping without him, and that doesn't even make sense. It's on the tip of my tongue to say I don't know him, but I know that isn't true. I know him in a way that all the words in the world couldn't create.

I glance at my watch, cursing at the realization that i'm not going to find him today. It's after four o'clock. I can make some calls, but most places are closing.

I force myself away from the door and down the hall, giving Lindsay my credit card information, waiting patiently while she prints out my receipt and writes down all the information I asked for.

On the drive home I put my carphone to good use, calling in a few favors for mr. Douglas, and i'm assured everything will be taken care of. I didn't ask too many questions. I never do. I know better. But if I had to guess, I'd say his old firm is about to be audited and found to be liable for restitution if they want stay in business and out of jail. So mr Douglas's partner is going to be able to pitch in his share after all, giving them a fighting chance.

It really does come in handy having friends everywhere.

I kick off my heels the second i'm inside my apartment, sighing in relief as I toss my keys on the counter and pour myself a glass of wine. Sweet and red, just like I like it.

Unbidden, the image of Alex's lips flashes through my mind. Deliciously full and sugary sweet. He didn't kiss me but somehow I can still taste him.

The wine feels thick through the lump in my throat as I sit at the kitchen table and have an intense staring contest with my phone.

I lose the fight, reaching for it.

My hands visibly shake as I dial the number for Royal Crown Catering and set up an appointment for tomorrow afternoon, and when I attempt to do the same with Art From The Heart classes I'm told that the next class with an available spot is the day after tomorrow.

A heavy feeling settles over my chest.

I tell the woman I plan to take the spot, giving her my credit card information, asking if the owner- Olivia Bushwivk will be there, learning that she teaches the classes. And answers the phone apparently.

Unable to put it off anymore, I look over the list of guests from Mr douglas, holding my breath despite every instinct in my body telling me he isn't here.

The list isn't alpabetic so white spots are swimming in my vision from lack of air by the time my frantic gaze reaches the bottom of the page. No Alex or name starting with Alex.

I blink away the moisture in my eyes as I drain my glass and make my way to my bedroom. I don't have the energy to change so I just strip down to my panties and climb under the covers, praying for sleep. It's been a long day, and I have a feeling tomorrow isn't going to be any different.