Lily's Point of View

...I haven't been able to sleep a wink ever since those words.

My mind has being going around in circles, trying to find all the little hints to prove or even disprove those words, and of course the more I look through my memories, the more I realize how much that Lionel has probably been caring and worrying for me.

Even though I was someone he hated me back then, he still held worry for me when he found out Bridgette poisoned my tea. He noticed my problems with Gilbert even though I didn't say anything about it, and after I saved his brothers he tried to check me for wounds so desperately. He even covered for me and took the honor for the kill.

For a while there, we had been quite close for a pair of kids. He knew my secret and I knew his.



I always wondered why he began to change as the years passed. Why he started putting distance between us but... he never gave away my secret. Though, when I think back on it, he started changing towards me mainly after his father started bringing him to their skirmishes with Headal.

I remember thinking that he probably just changed due to the horrors of war, but after we... argued about my past, there was no trace of the hostility he had shown till then. Does that mean he pulled away because of my past? Or more specifically... did he pull away because I couldn't bring myself to get close to people? Well, Magdalin aside.

I roll over on my side.

Thinking back, when we had the dance class didn't he pick a fight just to make me depend on him?

Did I miss small things like that? Small indirect messages from him until he exploded from stress and unloaded his raw words onto me?

If that's the case... then hasn't be been worrying for me wordlessly ever since he started seeing war? Since...

Since he would be able to understand what might have happened to me...

I pull the pillow over my head.

Having a kid who was still wet behind the ears worry about me and desperately try to send me hints that I overlooked until he got angry is... embarrassing.

It's not like it would have been socially acceptable to confront me directly about it either, as it risks bringing about the exact reaction that happened back then.

That said, the only one that should ever get to see that weak side of me is my spouse, and in the end he forced it out of me. No matter how you look at it, that is incredibly rude! The only way to make it okay would be for me to marry him.

...

It went back there.

I bury my face into the bed, hoping that my shameless behaviour is at least hidden from Emilia's ghosts. I curl up. Ever since he made that direct confession yesterday my mind has been returning to that one statement far too many times throughout the night... because... love is such a rare thing in a marriage that I can't help but to hope for it, even if making such a selfish wish is a sinful desire. A sinful desire, since love is supposedly fleeting and erratic, in a way a political marriage isn't. Once you fall out of love with someone, it hurts far more than if you were never in love in the first place... but it's not like this is only because of his confession..

I take a deep breath. Let's change the subject.

What will I do when I get back? Alstair is gone, Gil is gone, the war is gone and I don't have to worry about being executed anymore. What was my last goal? Ah, right, I was looking at the knights together with Magdalin to see if I could find a suitable partner to marry.

...

That subject change surely didn't last long...

I let a sigh escape again.

In the first place, Lionel is better than all his knights, even if you take away our relationship. The only negative is that Iris wants to marry into House Tepet as well...

Wait- why didn't I ever consider Lionel in the past?

He's handsome, he's 'well bred', he's generally polite and aware. His house is based on war, which suits me well. On top of that, it has more soldiers and knights than anywhere else in the country. It's like the ideal place for me.

I furrow my brows and let out yet another sigh, wondering if this will begin to let happiness escape.

...oh, right. Because of the sadist thing... somehow, I'm sorry Lionel.



However, if that's the case, then why don't I take this a bit more seriously?

I sit up, shoving away the pillow and duvet I had been covering myself with until then. If Lionel has always been on my side and cared for me, then this is more than a matter of immediate infatuation due to his words last night.

I glance to the sky outside that is getting lighter. It's sunrise.

I scramble out of bed and go to the little desk in the corner of the room to sum up my jumbled thoughts and feelings and put order to them. If I'm going to do this, then I'm going to do it properly, and I don't think Lady Tepet will be an easy opponent.

---*---

-knock knock-

"Lily-sama, can I come in?"

I look up from my papers as Magdalin knocks on the door. She likely believes I am still distraught over the meeting at Castle Duvin... It's not that I have calmed down completely, but I feel like I might have cried out most of my anger for now. I feel somewhat cleansed on that front.

I still hate Landon, or Yuno or whatever we're supposed to call him, but I've said my piece, and all I can do now is hope that he takes my words, my sorrow and my anger to heart and doesn't come near me. Ever... even if I want to kill him and tear him apart over Ken-chan...

"Yes," I say out much more quietly than I hoped for.

No, Yuno got part of the punishment he deserved for doing what he did. I won't forgive him, but at the very least I can quell part of my anger knowing that he died by the hand of someone he loved.

I try to shake off the dark thoughts as Magdalin steps in. Her eyes glistening with worry when our eyes meet.

"I intend to meet Lady Tepet for a private meeting, could you help me get ready?" I ask her softly to soothe her worries a bit. Her expressions of worry tend to show so visibly. Her eyes round with surprise, and then they fill with relief and happiness as she scurries to me.

"Of course, Lily-sama."

She finds her place next to me as I get up. If I could have one more selfish thing, then it is that Magdalin will find the happiness she deserves. Whatever secret her and Asher are keeping, may it turn out well.

"How should we dress?"

I look to Magdalin and think over her question.

"...To show off my beauty... I suppose," I reply hesitantly.

I don't usually dressing up like that. I prefer to dress modestly and conservatively to the limit my status allows without being disgraceful. That's probably why Magdalin's eyes widen with confusion.

I glance away, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks again. It really makes it obvious that I'm dressing up for someone, doesn't it?

Poor Magdalin's jaw drops.

...Stop looking at me like that. I can't even imagine her expression if I told her what I plan to do.

---*---

Lionel's mother accepted my rather rash demand to meet with her this early in the morning. Even postponing breakfast a bit to hold it. I thought she would at least wait until after breakfast.

Thus why I'm currently sitting in a private room with just the two of us...

"So, what did you want to talk about, Lily?"

She smiles to me, but there's a weird gleam in her eyes.

"I will be blunt with you, Lady Tepet. I wish to ask for Lionel's hand in marriage."

I start out by putting the request out there to gauge her reaction... which is... lacking. Her smile doesn't even change a little at my request, and she just calmly sips her tea.

"I see. Are you certain this is not merely a rash decision after what happened last night?"

...Who told her?! Emilia?! No, they shouldn't have met for today, and it was quite late last night. Did we get seen on the way up from the basement?

"When you asked to see the basement you looked like you needed a hug, so I sent Lionel down there for you."

Her smile widens... gleaming with satisfaction that her plan seemed to have gone as planned, probably due to my face fall just now.

I take a deep breath.

Though it sounds like she's disapproving, this is not actually the case. She wouldn't have sent Lionel after me if she didn't in some way approve. She's asking for me to tell her more reasons why I want this to happen, but I was prepared for this. I was going to continue with this either way.

"This is not a rash decision. I might be affected by last night, but this is not a decision made so shallowly. Firstly, I doubt that there are anyone else in Ristaze that could, or would face me with the same blunt honesty Lionel does. An honesty that is probably the only thing that can break through to me at times. Even though we might fight and argue, if it's him then I am certain we will work it out. I believe we respect each other highly."

Basically, we are compatible partners. This is important even for a political marriage, or it might end up similar to Lady Tepet's marriage. Miserable for both parts. I have three general paths I need to cover to convince Lady Tepet, and this is the first one. The second one is what House Tepet will gain from choosing me, which is the most important one.

"Secondly, I'm an ideal bride for House Tepet. Iris might be marrying into House Tepet, but since Curtis is the last in the row of inheritance, he won't become the head of house Tepet, and thus his connection with House Tepet will lessen with time. The new head of house Tepet still needs a wife, and I believe I currently make the best candidate. House Tepet is large, and Lionel's wife is required to help out managing the House and part of the land, especially now where peace has been declared with Headal and House Tepet will have to do some major changes in the way you handle things. I have been studying economy since I was eight, and continue to do so at the academy. The economy of House Tepet would be safe in my hands. The Lady of House Tepet cannot afford to be afraid of blood, soldiers or war either, and as a woman from House Celeste I can say with certainty that I am not afraid of any of those. I've experienced war first hand when I was small during the invasion of Castle Celeste, and I have not broken from the experience."

I pause. I want to add my experience as Augustus, but I can't add that as things are right now.

"The scars I gained back then can be removed by Claire Talwen... so that kind of beauty won't be a problem, and any rumors that might be that I am infertile due to injury in that region are false," I say hesitantly. It's an uncomfortable topic.

"and I... I am definitely not bad looking."

I feel my dignity crawl up in a corner to shrivel away as I have to compliment my own looks as an asset.

"F-finally, House Celeste will still be dealing with Zocria as no peace treaty was signed with them, and Curtis will likely be given a fort within our territory as Iris' dowry, so he will be connected with House Celeste in the future, that being the case, strengthening the connection between House Celeste and House Tepet will benefit House Celeste as well, as they might need troops from House Tepet. I do not believe my family would be against the marriage."

Especially seeing as mother forced me to confess my feelings for Lionel in front of a crowd...

I watch Lady Tepet. I finished my three arguments. Feelings, the benefits for House Tepet and the benefits for House Celeste. Now what is left is her answer...

"And you're the 'little sister' of the man who House Stanbell and House Celeste swore their loyalty to. You do quite well in your studies, to the point you have permission to skip magic lessons. You might not be that well liked or very popular among the young ladies, but you are quite admired, both among men and women alike and fulfill your social duty... but most importantly, Reynold, Bertram and I myself owe you our lives, Lily."

Her eyes are soft.

"You are definitely right when you said that you are, without a doubt, the best candidate. Which is why I just had to send Lionel down there when you looked weakened, hoping something would happen. And it did. As I expected of my boy."

Her eyes fill with excitement, while blood rushes to my cheeks and ears again as I realize that Lady Tepet played me far more than I thought.

"But to think that you yourself would come ask for his hand! Ah, you're so cute, Lily! I thought you would go through Emilia, but you came here yourself instead."

Who are you calling cute?!

"And even if it's only indirectly I got a confession out of you."

She puts a hand to her cheek with this happy smile.

...I feel defeated.

She stands up.

"Then, since you can't actually ask for his hand when you're a girl, I'll write the request to your father," she hums happily.

I stare at her blankly as she goes off to a cabinet by the wall to fetch a paper.

"Eh, I can't?"

Slips out. No no no, wait, why not?! I know there's this weird tradition that the man takes the visible initiative, but though the method is different both men and women here do their part in flirting and approaching suitable partners. Lily herself had even physically clung to Alstair before I took over her body. How does it make sense that only one person can ask for the other's hand?!

Lady Tepet looks back to me with a smile.

"You can't. The man is supposed to do that, Lily. You were just so cute I couldn't help but to trick you to get a confession out of you. You even dressed up for me. As a girl you're supposed to go through your parents, or if you're able, use your connections with royalty to make it the way you want, but, since I agree I'll send the request to your parents first."

She grins.

What have I done? This is... so embarrassing. I want to hide away.

I never actually checked up on the difference on this specific topic since it seemed similar to home, where such proposals usually come after expressing interest through the parents.

I completely and utterly fell for her trick! I can't even complain about that or about her calling me cute since she's Lionel's mother and I just asked for his hand!

...It's time for a tactical retreat until I calm down again.

"Just wait a while and I'll write the letter now," she adds and grabs everything she needs to write.

No!

"Okay..."

I end up sitting with her for a good ten minutes, enduring her small glances and grins and her small comments over the heated blush on my cheeks that doesn't fade... of course because she doesn't allow it to by bringing it up again and again.

---*---

By the time she finally gives me the finished letter with House Tepet's insignia on it my nerves are completely and utterly frayed. Both from her harassment, from Lionel's actions last night, and my lack of sleep.

"Then, please excuse me, Lady Tepet," I speak out weakly, trying not to bust out the pent up frustration from being teased to this extent.

"I'll see you at breakfast," she says with a smile... immediately reminding me that I have to face Lionel and her at the breakfast table.

I head for the door. I need to cool down my head. Now.

I almost burst out the door while holding the letter close, and to my horror... there's Lionel trying to enter the room with us holding the handle on each side of the door... This kind of story like coincidence... WHY DOES IT HAVE TO HAPPEN NOW?!

"Lily?"

His low voice calls my name, while he looks at me with widened eyes.

The feeling of his lips on my forehead rushes back along with those words... the ones that if I wanted a proper confession then I would have to ask him when I wasn't drunk...

"Are you okay?"

He reaches a hand up towards me, while his own cheeks start to get a tone of red as well.

No.

No more!

"Hey, Lionel, isn't she cute?" Lady Tepet's word make me go stiff.

No!

Stop already!

I am not cute!

His gaze moves behind me, and then back to me with this look of a sudden realization.

"Of course she is."

His lips form a smile as his hand cups my cheek, hits of mischievousness light in his eyes.

"N-not you too... I'M NOT CUTE!"

I can't hold it in any longer, and burst those words out at him. This sadist is messing with me!

"And the Lion ears aren't cute either!"

For some reason that bursts out as well... and unexpectedly makes Lionel go even redder... and then his eyes glide down to the letter I just got from his mother.

No!

Not right now! Anymore and I'll faint!

"P-please excuse me."

I vaguely hear a, "Good job, Lionel," from Lady Tepet as I make my belated tactical retreat.