Eric Celeste's Point Of View

I stare quietly at the sleeping figure in front of me.

The doctors managed to stabilize her... they say she has a very strong will to live, so she will be fine they say. Again... I cannot do anything...

She's covered in bandages. Only her shoulders have been spared the injuries because of the Guard Captain's mantle... but... this is too cruel... Even if she makes it through this... even if she heals up without problems... she will be covered in battle scars on her arms, chest and a couple on her back...

How do I announce this to his Highness? How do I tell him that her skin is tainted, and that she would never be able to wear a low cut dress? How do I tell her that she will likely have her engagement canceled, and that she will never be married because of this?

...After everything she has been through, I wonder how she can sleep so soundly and so relaxed... she looks peaceful while seemingly covered in a veil of moonlight shining in from her window...

Again I sit in the shadow and watch over her from the sidelines...

I wonder when it turned out like this... I was never bad at anything. I always did my best. I fought hard to get stronger than Lionel, and I worked hard on economics and diplomacy so I could be a good Lord, and a good aide for the Crown Prince...

I was always better than Lily at fitting in. Even when I pretended to be quiet I gained friends... I always fixed the bridges Lily burned as well... I was always in the light that encompassed the crown prince... I could always look at Lily who was pushed into the shadows whenever we were compared... so why did it change? When did she get a light of her own?

Why was I in the shadow though I'd worked so hard?...

Or am I, like she had been, just sharing the light of his Highness without making my own?

---*---

Morning arrived with a pale grey light and a light rain. Lily's room was dark, as only a stripe of light moved between the nearly closed curtains. I hadn't slept. I couldn't sleep... after everything that's happened.

The doctors did say she probably wouldn't wake up... but at least I'll stay here until anything happens outside...

The Zocrian Army arrived last night and set up camp by the outer rings of our castle... all 2000 men...

In comparison our castle could usually muster around 1700 fighting men... but most of those were gone for the northern passage along with my father...

At the moment we had most 500... Marquess Folcon Guimont, our enemy, wasn't alone. He must've gotten assistance from someone else as well... were we really going to war? Would we be okay? If we were attacked right now... wouldn't we fall? No matter how you look at it... the number gap is just too big...

I soft rustle shook me from my troubled thoughts... and in front of me Lily sat up as if she wasn't in pain at all. Her expression was distant and didn't suit her otherwise cute face...

Our eyes met, and a painful silence appeared between us as she studied me.

...

"Who are you?" I asked those words without thinking them through... but the person in front of me was definitely Lily... but it wasn't Lily... Lily could never... never be like that...

"...A ghost... I suppose." Her voice was still and calm like the pond on a windless night. Her frail female body that was weaker than usual seemed almost ethereal when she said that...

A ghost?

My stomach sank as I watched her. No, indeed, she was different from my sister, it could be. I reached for my dagger.

"So you're possessing her?" I tried to threaten the ghost in vain... for I had no courage to kill her. Was I even supposed to? She was better for our family than Lily...

"I am properly your sister."

"Eh?" Her words contradicted her former ones... but the look in her eyes turned soft.

"I'll tell you since it's all out in the open now anyway... but I gained the memories of another person... of... another life..."

Her gaze moved to the window and out to the grey clouds... to the drops of rain hitting the window.

"I was scared... I've always been... mother looked to father, and neither father nor you ever cared for me... unlike you who's always with loyal friends or teachers that like you, I'm schemed against and cannot trust anyone, because they only want his highness... Unlike you I grew up alone... but I couldn't be physically strong like you or father, only scheming like mother... and still... I nearly died..."

She moved her gaze back to me, and it held spite.

"When I was poisoned you thought 'good', didn't you?"

Eh?

" 'Let her disappear and it'll be one less worry for father' "

Her gaze was sharp... and merciless... but I didn't speak against her... I had actually thought that... something along those lines. Like... 'It wou-

" 'It would be good for his Highness if she was gone' "

I shook.

"How..."

"It was obvious, you're not that good at hiding your emotions, especially when it comes to his Highness Alstair..." She answered my question before I asked...

I looked down at my knees as she continued.

"I was afraid. I was in the bed and crying from pain, but none of you came there... then I gained her memories... She was nothing like me. She had courage, goals and she was never alone... she always had someone gazing at her with admiration. She was happy... she wasn't scared of anything and she was confident..."

Lily was talking about the ghost in a longing voice. Her eyes grew distant again as if she was remembering memories from the past.

"I remember the taste of the food she ate, the sounds of the music she heard, the smell of the mountains and the smell of the battlefields. I remember the taste of alcohol, and the cheerful nights when they celebrated victory... but she died alone... and abandoned..."

Her eyes softened.

"Like me, she was dying alone, but... she wasn't afraid... even though she was dying she was ready to fight... I... wanted to be someone else... someone that wasn't afraid... I was unliked and made people hate me just be loved a little... yet I was alone... I didn't want to live on like I had, I didn't want to continue being in pain... so... I decided to live as her... to give her a second chance at life... and at love... I decided to abandon the person I had been, to become her... and, you know... it's been easy, for her memories are so warm and so calm. Like they hug you in a safe embrace of confidence."

Her eyes shone for a moment, and then she turned those blue eyes at me.

"That is I. That is who I am now."

I remained quiet at her words... for what do I say to that? That she changed because we abandoned her. Those were cruel words.

"...What are you going to do?"

I asked another question instead.

"I'll win this war and go back to drinking tea like a good lady."

She said those words with unwavering confidence, and with serenity.

"Why would you go back to that? Why wouldn't you replace me and life a life you're clearly more suited for?!"

A pent up frustration burst out of me. I'd wondered this... for she could easily replace me. The people loved her already... the soldiers admired her... soon even the knights...

"And what would I gain by that? Only lies and secrets. How would I even complete the wedding night?"

She brushed me off without even considering my words. As if she had no ambition at all.

"There's nothing you want?"

She glanced to the window again.

"I'd like to go to the field of battle, but I am not a man. Perhaps I can settle for magic beasts." Her lips curled into a grin.

"...You could choose a man that look like a girl and marry him and pretend to be a man."

I didn't think she'd thought of it. She just blinked at me for a few moments and then scrunched her nose.

"Like I'd marry someone only good at talking."

In other words... she hadn't thought of it because her standards were too high.

I slumped back in my chair and stared at Lily quietly.

Somehow... she seemed less threatening now... less of an enigma

I sunk down as relief finally came over my body... and the tiredness finally hit. I felt woozy and exhausted.

"Brother. Thank you for watching over me."

Lily's kind words had me look to her confused. After everything she had said, why would she thank me?.. but she gave me a small smile as she scooched closer and eventually put a hand on top of my head... stroking my hair softly.

"Are you forgiving me?"

I felt tears fill up in my eyes that were already stinging from exhaustion.

"...okay..."

I cried in front of my little sister for the first time. Someone I'd once considered an enemy... The relief of her forgiveness was bittersweet.