"Yeah." Silas said answering his phone. I could hear the strain of our early conversation still in his voice.

"What?!" His shoulders tensed and he gripped the counter. Drake stood up strait from where he had been leaning in the corner. The spark in his eyes gave away how excited he was that following us around might have actually lead to something interesting.

"Ok..." Silas sighed rubbing at his forehead.

"Yes, Of course... Absolutely... NO." Silas eyes flickered to Drake and then me. "She shouldn't be planning any of it the stress alone isn't good... I know... Have Alex handle the details."

"Ok..." Silas shook his head as he hung up.

"Everything alright?" Drake asked.

"Have you ever seen a pregnant lady try to plan her own mating ceremony with only 48 hours' notice?" Silas asked rolling his eyes.

"Emily is trying to get a hold of you." Silas said handing me his phone.

'Em, wants to have a mating ceremony?' I asked surprised.

Silas nodded. It was just one small jerk of his head. His lips were pressed tightly together and his eyes held mine willing me to understand that this was not completely true and there was no way he could tell me the rest with Drake here.

'Should I...?' I asked gesturing to the other room. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to call Emily or do a video chat or text her.

"If you want just don't go to far." Silas nodded.

'Can I go upstairs?' I asked.

"Maybe just to my office." Silas frowned.

I nodded. I was mostly trying to get away from Drakes ears to see what was really going on but part of me also wanted a break from Silas. Being around him constantly was putting all of my nerves on edge. I was beginning to over analyze everything he did and said. I needed a minute to myself.

I didn't push the issue of getting away from him. He was letting me go into his office, alone, knowing it was sound proofed and still secure. I went into the office and paused to give Silas a small reassuring smile. He nodded back but his mouth didn't even so much as twitch to return the smile. I knew he was on edge over what had happened but he seemed even more tense now.

I shut the door and went to his desk. I considered sitting in my normal seat in his office but I didn't want my back facing the door. I sat in Silas's chair and propped his phone up against some of the books on his desk. I pressed the button to video chat with Emily. She picked up on the first ring. My mouth popped open in surprise. Her eyes were red and puffy, she looked like she hadn't slept in a few days, and she was glaring at me hard through the phone. Worst of all she didn't say anything. There was no spill it or tell me everything; none of her usual jump right to business conversation starters. She didn't even offer a hello.

'Hi...' I tried a small wave.

"Rylan Alisa Avi don't you dare HI me." Emily fumed.

My eyes widened.

'What did I do?' I asked.

"What the hell do you mean what did you do?! You almost died!" Emily said suddenly in tears.

"Why?! Why would you do that to me?! To us?! After everything... you never once tried to tell me you were hurting this bad and I'm always here for you. I'm always trying to get you to talk to me... I thought... I thought we were sisters?" Emily said.

'We are...' I signed. Seeing Emily so upset over what had happened was starting to make me want to cry too.

"Was I not there enough? Did something happen?" Emily asked.

I shook my head.

'It's not what you think Em...' I signed.

"Then what is it because it looks a lot like you didn't care about anything or anyone enough to stay with us. You almost left us. And it's not just me! It's Aaron and Silas and Amelia. My baby almost lost his Aunty because you won't talk to anyone!" Emily cried.

I shook my head.

'It's not what you think...' I signed again.

"Then what is it? Did someone attack you and force you to take those pills?" Emily demanded.

I gulped. I wanted more than anything to tell her. My friend was in pain because she thought that I was suicidal. It wasn't right. I wasn't and she deserved to know that but I couldn't risk it. There was no way she would keep something like this from Silas and Aaron and if they found out Silas would be in danger.

'I can't talk about this right now.' I signed shaking my head. 'I- have to go.' I said and hung up before she could say anything. The screen of Silas phone hadn't even gone black before the full force of tears hit me.

There was a quiet tap on the door before it started to open. I quickly wiped my face and held my breath to make the tears stop. Silas paused in the door way and tilted his head.

"Everything ok?" He asked.

I gave him a small thumbs up.

"Leannan, what happened?" Silas asked coming in and shutting the door behind him. I was surprised that Drake wasn't following him still.

'Em is really upset.' I signed. I pinched the bridge of my nose to hold back the tears I could feel burning their way into my eyes.

Silas walked around the edge of the desk. He turned my chair so that I was facing him and he knelt down so that we were almost the same height. I released my nose and looked up at him.

"Of course, she's upset. We all are. We love you and knowing that someone has been hurting you..." Silas licked his lips, took a deep breath, and shook his head. He seemed to be at a loss for words again which was unusual for Silas.

'I'm sorry.' I signed.

Silas eyes flickered carefully over my face. My cheeks heated with unease but I didn't lower my eyes or look away. I knew what he was looking for and it wasn't submission it was answers.

Silas reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. His fingers drifted down along my jaw and paused just bellow my lips. My breath caught in my chest and my lips tingled with the prospect of his sudden attention.

"I'm sorry." Silas said quietly.

My lips parted in surprise and I blinked rapidly to try and process what he was saying. He was sorry? I shook my head. I didn't understand what he was apologizing for.

"I shouldn't have withdrawn from you the way that I did. I was terrified of losing you and I was blaming myself for what happened." Silas said.

I raised my hands to sign that it wasn't his fault. There was no way we could have known what would happen. Silas caught my hands before I could sign and shook his head.

"I know that there's nothing we could have done differently and I know that we didn't know what would happen but that doesn't change the fact that I wake up from nightmares of being covered in your blood, nightmares where you don't wake up..." Silas said. "And it's still no excuse for being a coward."

My mouth dropped.

"Yeah..." Silas sighed. "That's what I am when it comes to your life baby, a coward. I've lost you once and I know that I can't do that again. Please forgive me."

I nodded quickly. Silas being afraid of something wasn't exactly easy to picture but there was no way I could be angry with him for being afraid. I didn't think about what I was doing until I had already put my arms around his neck. Silas arms wrapped around me, returning the hug and pulling me into his lap. We sat together for several minutes.

'What do we do?' I signed.

"I don't know..." Silas sighed and kissed the top of my head. "...but you have to call Emily back. She's a little bit crazy lately and I'm sure that she is freaking out over yelling at you."

'How do you know she yelled?' I asked.

"You wouldn't have been teary if she had asked what she was SUPPOSED to ask." Silas said.

"What was she supposed to ask?' I signed.

The edges of Silas mouth curved up and he shook his head.

"Call her back." He said.