I could feel Silas enter the room even before I could see or scent him. The scenting was new. Another side effect of a proper marking according to Matthew. Just like the advanced healing. After only a day of meetings my shoulder and other injuries were practically nonexistent. It was almost more advanced than when I'd had my wolf to help and all because of the mark Silas had given me.

My fingers absentmindedly traced over the sensitive scar on my neck. Unlike the marks I'd received before this one didn't ache or cause pain. It was simply there. A constant reminder that I belonged to Silas. The notion of belonging to anyone had always felt stifling but somehow this was different. Somehow I knew that being Silas's didn't mean that I couldn't also be my own person.

Silas's hand replaced my own to cover the mark. The gesture caused a rush of tingles to flood down from his fingers and slam into my stomach. My breath caught and I had to give myself a miniature lecture to focus before I could breath again.

"Does it hurt?" Silas asked quietly.

I shook my head and my shoulders shook just a fraction with the hint of a laugh. That feeling was definitely not pain.

Silas leaned forward enough to peer down at my face. He raised an eye brow and traced over the mark again. Another wave of tingles rushed through me. This time I was able to breath through it but Silas didn't miss the shudder that rushed over me.

Silas mouth quirked up in a faint smirk. His fingers brushed the hair away from my neck and then he lowered his mouth to the mark. I knew even as my head dropped back with a silent moan that his gentle kiss was mostly innocent. It wasn't meant to lead to anything more despite my bodies fiery assumptions. He ran his fingers through the rest of my hair and waited for me to regain brain function and motor skills. Once my body relaxed he took a seat next to me on the bed.

"Are you ready to talk?" He asked.

My stomach dropped along with my gaze. I focused on the carpet and tried to ignore the sick feeling as I nodded. I wasn't ready but if he was then I could at least pretend. I knew there was one thing I needed to get out of the way before he could try to shift the conversation anywhere else.

'I don't want you to apologize for marking me.' I signed. 'Or for leaving..." I added.

"But I need to. Marking you against your consent is something I never..." Silas broke off abruptly. I glanced up through my lashes to see he was pinching the bridge of his nose.

"The mark is not complete. It will fade in a few years if you don't want this. I just couldn't let you die. Not again." He said after a deep breath.

I reached up and grasped his wrist. I hoped that he would understand it was meant as a reminder. I needed him to look at me or I wouldn't be able to speak. I didn't feel well enough to open the mind link this soon after being medicated even if there was a decent chance it would work.

Silas did understand. He lowered his hand and opened his eyes. The devastation, fear, and shame that shone in the depths of forest green was enough to make my chest ache. My eyes burned with a sudden tears. Fear rushed through me and my hands faltered over the question I forced myself to ask.

'You don't want me?'

"No!" Silas gasped. One of his hands caught both of mine and the other grasped the back of my neck. "No. I told you, don't ever think for a second that I don't want you. You are everything to me. You always have been."

'So why say that? Why even offer it?' I signed after pulling my hands away.

"Because I need you to know that this choice is still yours. I took a piece of it away from you and I am so sorry for that. I would understand if it's not something you can forgive. I know I can't." Silas explained. I knew he was referring to the marks that had been forced on me before. It wasn't the same by any means and I needed him to know that.

'Don't compare my mate to those monsters. And don't try to push me into a decision because you're feeling guilty.' I warned.

Silas pressed him lips into a thin line and his brow furrowed as he tried to figure out if I was being sarcastic or actually angry.

'You said it's my choice?' I asked.

He nodded.

'I want to complete the bond.' I signed.

Silas's hands dropped away and he leaned back.

"Ry..." He sighed shaking his head. "Do you know what you're asking?"

I did know. A proper mating bond required a mark and sex. That was consistent across all packs, assigned mates or not. It wasn't exactly calculus or physics.

'You don't want to have sex with me?' I asked.

Silas hesitated.

My eyes widened and I shot up to my feet.

"Wait! Wait. Leannan let me explain please." He begged blocking the door.

I glared up at him.

"Please... Ry... It's not a lack of desire. I only hesitated because last time you almost died." He said.

'Because of heat not because of sex.' I wanted to call him an idiot for even linking the two but I held myself back. It wasn't fair for me to get furious with Silas for being afraid. Especially not after he'd been so patient with me and my own fears for so long. Some of my anger simmered down and I let it out with a sigh.

'I get it.' I signed. 'But this time it's different.'

"Is it?" Silas asked concerned. "The injections they gave you are already working. Your temperatures up, your pheromones are driving me crazy, and..." Silas shook his head.

'and the mood swings.' I filled in the blank for him.

~How do you stop a heat Silas?~ I asked through the link giving up on using my hands.

"Stopping your heat is not a reason to complete a life long bond." Silas shook his head.

~Is this really my choice?" I asked feeling the annoying flicker of anger flaring up again.

"Of course it is." He said.

~Then let me make it. I said that I want this. I want our bond to be complete and that has nothing to do with whatever they injected me with. I want you because you are mine and because it's right. Stopping some heat is an interesting bonus but not a real factor.~ I said.

"Are you sure?" He asked uncertainly.

~Yes! I've made my damn choice so maybe it's time you made yours.~

"Leannan..." He sighed shaking his head again.

~What does that even mean?!~ I demanded as I threw up my hands and turned to stomp away from Silas. If I couldn't leave I could at least put some distance between us before I accidentally made his brain explode or something.

Silas apparently didn't want to allow that either. His arms wrapped around my waist, he pulled me back against him, and he pressed his nose into my hair inhaling deeply. If I hadn't been so frustrated I would've thought the gesture cute or maybe even a little nerve wracking. Instead I just found it annoying. I crossed my arms in front of me and waited knowing he had to eventually say something. He couldn't just hold me hostage like this forever.

"Leannan means lover, little mate." He said quietly.

I don't know what I'd been expecting him to say. His reply along with being called his mate made my insides melt and tremble. All of my anger snapped away and I was left feeling shocked and tingly. How long had he been calling me lover? It was such a different endearment than what I'd imagined. It was like the entire time I'd been here he'd known and patiently waited for this moment.

~Silas...~ I turned my head enough to peer up at him over my shoulder. I was going to apologize for getting so frustrated with him. I felt like I was letting the hormones get the best of me which only meant he was right. I expected him to be sad or annoyed with me for how hard I'd been pushing but instead I saw nothing but a simmering heat in his eyes.

~I..~ I stuttered through the connection. My lips parting to pull in more air as my insides began to heat in completely different way.

~I'm sorry I was getting angry.~ I managed.

Silas laughed softly. His hand flatted against my lower stomach and he pressed until my backside was snugly against his front.

I'd completely missed the tight bulge in his jeans with the way he'd been holding me before. Now it was unmistakable.

My hands clinched. With one over his and the other grasping his jean clad thigh I felt like I had enough to support my suddenly weak legs.

"I like when your arousal is mixed with anger. It means you're not afraid of me." Silas said inhaling again. This time he tucked his head into the crook of my neck. The sensation made me take a deep shuttering breath. I couldn't find any of the anger he was talking about now but the arousal was certainly present and persistent.