I hadn't done anything. I wouldn't. I hadn't wanted too. I trembled harder. The thought of Silas furious with me made me want to die. Aarons arms tightened around me in reassurance.

"I just... I just..." Thomas stuttered out.

"Just what?" Silas tone was lethal but it wasn't directed at me. He wasn't yelling at me. This realization did nothing to ease my pain or my tears. " Just thought you could make her feel something for you? You're an idiot."

"You don't understand Alpha. She's... I think she's my mate..." Thomas croaked.

"No." Silas tone had a finality that even I didn't want to question. "She is NOT your anything. She feels NOTHING for you."

"Sometimes humans-" Thomas started but Silas cut him off.

"SHE IS NOT YOURS..." I cringed again. I'd never heard Silas yell like this. I felt like it was all my fault. I had done this somehow. I couldn't catch my breath between the racking sobs. I was drowning in tears. Silas took a deep breath. When he spoke again all the previous signs of anger had vanished. "She receives her mates signals perfectly. She said no. Touch her again and I will break your hands."

I felt the air shift. A sudden warmth at the back of my neck sent a soothing wave through me and I sucked in a shaky breath. Fingers moved in my hair rubbing away the linger pain from the memory. I closed my eyes focusing on the relief instead of what had just happened. I tried to focus on stopping the sobbing tears. Aaron shifted releasing me and I was lifted. The pleasant warmth surrounded me. My tears slowed and my short painful breaths came easier. My breathing slowed. I was able to take calming deep breaths. The fresh pine scent clouded my nose and shoved away the edges of my panic attack.

"Silas is being reasonable because he is your alpha but make no mistake Thomas; touch my sister like that again and I'll kill you." Aaron said. He spoke low enough that I wouldn't have been able to hear him if the ringing in my ears hadn't subsided. I tensed again. I didn't want anyone to get hurt. Thomas was being a jerk but he didn't deserve to be broken or killed because I over reacted.

"Ignore him. Just focus on breathing..." Silas whispered to me. I forced my eyes open. As soothing as it was to be this close to him I couldn't do this. I couldn't rely on him for my panic attacks. I took one last deep breath, enjoying the forest scent, before pushing away from Silas. He was seated on the edge of the porch with me in his lap so it was easy to crawl away. I sat back against the opposite railing. Silas watched me. He looked unsure of what he should do.

"Take it ease Ry." He asked.

I shook my head.

'You can't do this...' I signed.

Silas tilted his head and I shook mine. He didn't understand what I was talking about. Unbelievable.

'You can't care one minute and then go back to not caring the next.' I signed. My eyes stung with a new wave tears. It wasn't fair that he could be so oblivious to all of this. It was like he could just turn it on and off when ever he wanted. I couldn't do that. I wanted to do that too. I wanted to find someone else the way he had. I wanted to be that girl that got to kiss him.

"Just because we can't be together does not mean I stopped caring about you." Silas said. There it was again. We couldn't be together. He didn't want me.

'Could have fooled me...' I signed rolling my eyes and shaking my head. I held back the sadness that gripped my insides and pulled on my anger as best I could. If he was done with me, truly done with me, then I wasn't about to let him see how much that hurt.

"Is that why you went out here with him? To see if I cared?" Silas asked.

I shook my head. I didn't come out here with Thomas. I had come out here to breathe after I saw some girl trying to kiss him. I couldn't believe he was accusing me of something so ridiculous. If that's what he really thought then so be it. It made it that much easier to shove my anger to the surface.

'Maybe I came out here to kiss him.' I signed.

It was Silas turn to shake his head.

"Even if that were true he should have stopped when you tried to leave." Silas said. He had seen that?

"You're not ready for that level of intimacy with someone else." Aaron added. My head snapped up to look at him. He was standing a little ways away with his arms crossed. His words added fuel to my anger as well. He had no right to tell me what I was and wasn't ready for. Just because I didn't want Thomas did not mean I couldn't do something with someone other than Silas. Silas wasn't some kind of magician.

'That's not any of your business.' I signed.

"It's our business if you're going to get hurt." Silas said. I let out a huff of breath and stood up. Silas stood up as well.

'Is that really what you're afraid of or are you finding an excuse because you don't want to see me with someone else?' I asked. My sad insides wanted him to say that I was right and he didn't want to see me with anyone else. It would mean he still cared. My anger didn't care.

"That's not what's going on here..." Silas said shocked. I held back a flinch. He was going with the not caring.

'Then I can kiss who ever I want...' I signed.

Silas jaw ticked. He glanced at Aaron and then the house before shaking his head.

"Not someone that's going to hurt you." He said finally. I blinked. I couldn't tell if it was the idea of me kissing someone else that pissed him off or that he didn't want me kissing random people. He was so confusing. I clinched my fists for a moment before thinking of my next question.

'So you want me to find someone you trust to kiss?' I asked. I knew I was letting my anger get away from me.

Silas shifted and took a deep breath again.

"Sure." He said. Sure... What was that supposed to even mean? Did he think I wouldn't? That I couldn't?

'Really?' I asked. I didn't wait for his answer. I turned around and headed for the door I had come out of. If he was assuming I couldn't or wouldn't I was going to show him how wrong he was.

"Rylan..." Silas called after me. His warning tone only made me even more sure of what I was going to do.

"...Rylan..." Silas called again. He was following me into the house. Alex and Quinn were still leaning against the counter where I had left them. I walked up to Alex, leaned up on my toes, and pressed my lips to his. Alex inhaled sharply but his arm wrapped around my waist and he returned the kiss. It stung. I wanted to pull back but I could feel Silas eyes on me. I was trying to prove a point here. I tilted my head and shoved my tongue into Alex mouth. Alex hand gripped and regripped around my waist. He shifted and shoved his tongue back at me. I was aching for a fight and if this was as close as I'd get I was going to win. I bit him. He crushed his mouth against mine removing my ability to bite again and he sucked my tongue into his mouth taking control of the kiss. I felt the need to find another way to take control. Before I could decide on an action I felt my hair shift away from my face and neck. I pulled back from Alex just as Quinn leaned in and placed a quick kiss on my neck. He was stopping us or more specifically me before I could push Alex too far. Before Quinn pulled back he hover close to my ear and spoke.

"I'm hurt. That revenge kiss should have been mine." Quinn whisper growled at me. I opened my mouth as if I could apologize. Quinn's eyes flickered to something behind me. I turned to see what he was looking at. All I saw was Silas back as he walked back out the door. He wasn't even going to bother reacting to what I'd just done. He didn't care. My chest pinged but I ignored it. I held on to my anger and frustration. I couldn't fall apart again already.

"You'll have to excuse us..." Aaron pulled me back away from Quinn and Alex. "It's way past her bed time."

I pushed Aaron's hands off and stepped backward toward Quinn.

'I'm going home with them.' I signed.

I turned to Alex.

'Can we go?' I asked.

Alex nodded.

"Ok." He said. He finished his drink in one gulp and stood up strait. I grabbed his hand and pulled him outside with me. We were down the steps before Aaron realized I wasn't joking.

"Rylan!" Aaron caught my arm. "You can't do this..."

"Let go Aaron." Quinn said.

Aaron rounded on Quinn.

"You can't do this either! You know damn well that she's not ready... she can't do this..." Aaron said.

I scoffed and leaned in to Alex. I could do whatever I wanted. It's not like it mattered to anyone important.

"Aaron..." Alex warned. He was trying to convey something by using just his name. Some kind of subliminal bro code that I wasn't aware of. I rolled my eyes and straitened up. Maybe even Alex wasn't on my side tonight.

"She's had too much to drink and she's not thinking clearly. Don't do this." Aaron said.

"We know that. That doesn't change the fact that she needs a night where she's not sleeping one room away from the man she's in love with." Alex said. "We would never take advantage of her like that. Quinn would murder me if I tried."

Aaron glanced between the three of us before his eyes settled on Quinn.

"No sex." Aaron said.

"Of course not." Quinn said. "But if she wants to cuddle or kiss then she's getting it. She's held it together long enough. She deserves a damn break."

At least Quinn was on my side.

'I want those.' I signed.

Aaron growled and shoved his hand through his hair.

"Shush and get in the car." Quinn demanded.

I huffed and crossed my arms. He didn't need to be so bossy. The corner of Quinn's mouth lifted. Alex nudged me. I decided I didn't really want to fight about this. I wanted to go. I needed to go before Silas came back. I went to the car and climbed in to the back seat. I plopped down. The cool leather of the seat felt nice against my flaming cheek. Alex got in to the passenger seat but turned to look at me.

'What?' I signed.

"I've just never seen you drunk before. It's adorable." Alex laughed.

"Everything she does is adorable." Quinn said getting in to the drivers seat. He turned enough to give me a wink before putting his phone to his ear and starting the car.