K A N E

We spent too much time in hospitals these days.

After waiting for hours in the lobby, a nurse finally saw the dark patches of blood I'd been trying to conceal. Now, my own wounds were being cleaned and bandaged by several nurses. They repeatedly asked me what happened to give me so many lacerations all over my body, but I remained quiet. The less they knew, the better.

I didn't flinch as more cleaning alcohol was poured into a stab wound Delphinium had given me. In fact, I'd barely moved this entire time. My thoughts were not on my own injuries.

Riley had been rushed off to the emergency room the moment we arrived here. The doctors pushed her into a stretcher and tried to stop her bleeding as they rushed her off. Some time after, a nurse had seen my own injuries and insisted I get them healed. Frankly, I'd forgotten I was even injured until she pointed it out.

I had no idea where the others were now. Delphinium and my brother could be hunting us right now. But I found I hardly cared about those things at the moment. All I could think about was Riley's limp body, the blood flowing from her skin. Delphinium had completely crushed her. I tried to forget how mangled she'd been when Jaxon and I first got to her.

And how pale she'd been...like death itself. Like she was already half-gone.

I was unsure if my heart was beating or not. Though I'd never said it, though I'd never let myself admit it, I couldn't lose her. I'd already lost so many people. I couldn't take another loss. Especially not Riley Traversa.

At first, I'd been hesitant around her. She was a whirlwind, a wild storm. To look directly into her eyes was a dangerous thing, a challenge. But I'd come to enjoy—even rely on—her presence, even if she did make constant flirtatious and lewd comments. I'd began to care for her when I realized that no one else had. Despite my better judgement, I'd wanted her to open up to me. I'd let myself have feelings for her, even if it would be infinitely easier not to.

Somehow, I'd found it inside myself to let go of my brother and what happened to him. I didn't think I could do the same with Riley.

Sighing, I closed my eyes, trying not to move under the nurses' careful work. When I'd first joined the team, I'd been angry and cold. All I'd wished for was freedom; I did not want to get to know my clearly dangerous teammates.

And now look what had happened since then. I wasn't sure if this was better or worse. At least then, I had nothing to lose. But one thing was for certain: I was different now. We all were.

"You're done." The nurses stepped away and I stood up. "You can wait in the waiting room for your friend."

After giving them my thanks, I left the room and went down the hall. If the others were out there, they might have heard news of Riley's condition before I did. The thought that they could have announced her death to the others chilled me to my bones.

What would I do if she died? How could I ever move past it?

"Excuse me." A doctor passing by stopped me. "Were you the one who came in with our patient Riley Traversa?"

The answer came slow and uncertain. "Yes." Was he about to deliver her statement of death?

"I was just on my way to request the help of one of your friends, but you'll do. Come with me."

Barely breathing, I followed him. He hadn't said anything about her state. I wasn't sure if that was a bad sign or not.

The doctor ushered me into a room and closed the door behind us. There, on the bed lay Riley. I quickly scanned her body to see the level of her injuries. Though the hospital gown covered most of her abdomen—which undoubtedly was wounded when she was crushed—I saw that her arms and legs were only a bit bruised. No broken bones, as far as I could see. The top of Riley's head was heavily bandaged, through her dark hair hung free underneath it, clean from any blood.

"She took quite the beating," the doctor said, glancing at her in the bed. "Three broken ribs, an injured kidney and spleen, spinal bruising, blunt force trauma to the head and open lacerations from impact. It's a miracle she's even alive."

I couldn't think, couldn't say anything. My gaze travelled to the side of her bed, where she was hooked to an IV. A heart rate monitor beeped at regular intervals, showing that she was not in danger internally.

"She woke somewhat soon after we patched her up, but had a low level of awareness. We wanted to see if she'd recognize a familiar face." He gestured to me, thus showing the reason I was needed.

Though I didn't want to, I looked to her again. Her eyes were closed—she was sleeping. Or still unconscious. As I stared down at her, she looked very small in the bed. I would have thought she seemed fragile if I didn't know better.

The doctor must have seen my uncertainty. "You can go to her."

I took a few steps closer, now almost standing over her. Her hand lay open on the blanket. I was near enough to grasp it. I didn't.

All of a sudden, her catlike eyes opened and fixed on me. For a moment, she simply stared up at me. Neither of us said anything. Even under the bandages, she was still as alluring as she always was and my lungs felt tight with that realization.

Then a dark look flashed across her face. "Who the hell are you?"

My body went cold as death.

I glanced up at the doctor, who looked as though he was taking mental notes inside his head. "You know me."

"No, I don't," she snapped, eyes flashing. She then added as an afterthought, "Unless you're from the orphanage."

She didn't remember me. She didn't know who I was.

Oh God. Oh God. It felt as if the world stopped moving. Her head had gotten hit during the fight, but I'd barely given it a second thought once I saw how her abdomen had bled. But what if that had been the biggest problem?

The doctor stepped forward. Her lethal gaze snapped to him. "What am I going here? What did you do?" She glanced back toward me and I could tell she suspected I had something to do with her state. As if I'd ever hurt her.

"There was an accident," the doctor told her, unfazed by her hostile demeanor. "You were injured very gravely. And because you hit your head after already having a concussion just a month ago, it seems that you've lost some level of memory storage. Retrograde amnesia, to be exact. That means you've lost all recollection of the events in the past months."

"No." She shook her head, ignoring the doctor when he told her to stop. "No, this isn't possible. This is some sick dream, or-"

"It's not," he told her apologetically, head tilting to the side. "I know how confusing and frightening this must be, but I must urge you to stay calm. Exhibiting extreme emotions or even moving too violently or suddenly can create complications."

"Calm? How am I supposed to be calm? If you're not lying-"

"I can assure you, I'm not."

"Then there's been some amount of time I don't remember," she finished. "All of my memories from that time are gone. Gone. And I'm supposed to be calm?"

Clenching my jaw, I remembered how she'd gotten angry with me the other day, asking how I could always be so calm. She always seemed to feel things much more deeply than other people gave her credit for.

"We will help you the best we can. You're in a safe place now. As for your memory...what's the last thing you remember?"

"Yesterday at the orphanage, of course," she spat. I hadn't forgotten how much she'd hated it there. "It was a normal day."

The doctor nodded his graying head once. "We'll work on getting your memories back. While you did suffer blunt force trauma twice in one month, it isn't the worst I've seen. With more work and time, your mental state could improve."

"What if it doesn't?"

The room was quiet for a moment. "We will do everything we can to assure that doesn't happen."

Riley gave no response. Her face was willed into a bored, indifferent mask. If I didn't know her, I would have thought she was being a bit rude to the doctor who was only here to help. But I did know her. The mask she wore was to cover all of her deepest emotions, the things she was scared to show. It was easier for her to be angry and impudent than to break down. However, I knew on the inside, she was panicking. Scared.

My heart felt like it had been ripped out. She didn't know who I was or any of the things we'd gone through. She was still that bold orphan that hid her sadness from we'd first been put in the team together. I hadn't forgotten how lonely and sad she'd told me she was there. How unwanted and meaningless she'd felt back then.

And I'd told her I would protect her. I'd told her she wouldn't have to be alone. I'd known it was what she needed to hear and I'd meant it, but...I hadn't been able to keep my word.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" She asked me suddenly, pulling me from my thoughts. Suspicion was written all over her face. I ignored the way my heart skipped a beat at the sound of her voice.

I looked away. "I'm not." With that, I went to leave. I couldn't take it, couldn't look into her face any longer—the face of a stranger.

As I walked out of the room, I heard the doctor telling her they were going to run more tests on her brain function. For once, I couldn't think. I didn't know what to do, how to act. This felt like as much of a bad dream to me as it had to her.

I barely remembered the way back to the waiting room. There, sitting before me were the remaining members of my crew. They all raised their heads to look up.

"Well," Finn asked, "How is she?"

A spike of anger. He was making me say it out loud, making me relive what I'd just seen. It wasn't his fault; it was a genuine question. But the thought of her not knowing who we were, who she was... I didn't know what to do.

"She..." I licked my lips, trying to find the words. There was no easy way to say it. "Riley hit her head very hard. She couldn't remember anything from the last months we've been a team."

Jaxon dragged a worried hand through his hair, making it stand on end. Staring at the floor in shock, Finn rested his head in his hands. Jake hardly looked bothered. And Arlo said with a strangely straight face, "I'm not sure how much more shock I can take."

"She said she found something out about Krasowski," Jake said, almost more to himself than any of us.

"That's what you're worried about?" Finn asked, lifting his head from his hands. "That's another one of our teammates gone." I mirrored his scowl at Jake's very characteristic callous remark. But I really didn't expect anything more from the crime lord.

"She's only gone mentally," Arlo said and I couldn't tell if he meant it to be comforting. It wasn't.

"I sent her on a mission to the ONNT headquarters to find out what they were hiding about Imperium's information. She found what I asked her to find." Jake peered around at all of us with those strange eyes. "That means the ONNT is hiding something from us. And only Riley knows what it is."

"She won't remember it," Finn said, a near whisper. "If it was a threat, we're in the dark about it."

"Something's coming," Arlo said with unnerving certainty. "And I don't think we're going to be ready for it."