[ Q U E S T I O N S ]

Below are several questions I get frequently asked or things that weren't directly addressed in the story. Feel free to skip past them to the second part of this chapter if you're not interested, as I did get way more questions than I was expecting.

What are the crew's zodiac signs?

Disclaimer: I don't really know that much about zodiac signs, so I just matched them with whatever sign I felt like their personalities coincided with lol. Also the necessary dates of particular zodiac signs might be more than nine months apart from each other, but whatever. Tell me if I'm horribly wrong.

Delphinium—Gemini (nOt just because I'm one) Gigi—Aquarius Kane—Capricorn Jake—Virgo or Scorpio Finn—Sagittarius Arlo—Cancer or Aries Jaxon—Scorpio or Taurus Riley—Aries Benton—Scorpio

How old are Benny and Neve?

Benton is only a year older than Kane, so 20. Same for Neve, but Benton is a few months older.

Does Jake even care for / love Delphi?

It really shouldn't bring me so much joy that people still have to ask this after three books, but I just think it's hilarious. He's so deep in denial that he's got even some of you convinced he doesn't even care about her like that.

Here's the thing: Jake can be an extremely unreliable narrator when it comes to how he thinks about certain things. When it appears as if he's lying about his feelings, he's telling the truth, and occasionally when it seems like he's being truthful for once, it's a ruse. So I understand how it's hard to piece together what he truly feels and why he thinks the way he does.

But the boy literally treated Delphinium as more than an object for her first time in years, he was there for her (whether he knew it or not), he went insane when she was dragged away from him, he stood silently by her side as she struggled to find herself again, he abandoned the Club to rescue her, he broke all his rules for her and let her get closer than anyone else—even being the first one to initiate physical intimacy though he has a lot of fear/trauma surrounding it and afterward listened quietly even when what she was saying to him terrified him more than anything. I mean, need I go on?

Just because he doesn't know, admit, or act on his feelings does not mean that he doesn't love her.

If Jake does care for Delphinium then why does he keep it hidden and deny his feelings so much? / Why was he so terrified during the infirmary scene?

Buckle up ladies, this one's going to be long as hell. But everyone asks so much I figured I should give a clear explanation. Feel free to skip to the bottom if you're tired of my ranting.

Jake might seem cold and untouchable, but he's much more (excuse my sailor's mouth) fucked up than he lets on, especially in the third book. His father might have physically hurt him occasionally, but the real scarring lasted mentally. Jake is thoroughly ruined emotionally and is trapped in a very toxic masculinity-type mindset that will not let him address his own issues even in his thoughts.

Before Delphinium, Jake was in his own little murderous world. He was shown no physical affection, no care, no emotional comfort of any type. And he didn't even give two shits because it was what kept him safe in the very dangerous life he lives. He even said it himself: he had to pay the price of that life. And it was his humanity. You can't be a stone-cold emotionally unavailable killer and be able to just turn it off at will.

Of course, Jake eventually killed his father. But he didn't need his father to destroy him emotionally anymore, because he learned to do it to himself over and over again as a coping mechanism. It's all he knows how to do.

When he began to develop feelings for Delphinium, he did what he did to everything he deemed a threat to his personal safety: he pushed them far down and pretended they didn't exist. Not only because he thought she'd be a physical danger to him, but because him feeling any sort of emotion that isn't anger or icy calm is a weakness that he's convinced he's burned out of himself. And because Delphinium is the only thing that really scares him.

That brings us to the infirmary scene (Chapter 63). Before this scene, we've seen a few cracks in Jake's exterior, but he's still much more put-together than anyone else on the team. But this scene is proof that he has as much trauma as the others. It shows how ruined he really is, and the poor boy doesn't even get it.

He has no experience with anything relating to the emotional (and physical ;) ) connection she has with him. He knows he wants her, but he won't let himself have her because the very idea horrifies him. It goes against everything he ever worked for, all his rules.

As a survival (and power-grabbing) technique, Jake exercises control in every aspect of his life. But of course, this is the one aspect he never saw coming and the one thing he has no control over. Therefore, his last resort is knocked down. That scares him, but not as much as the fact that Delphinium is the one person who can see through him and the walls he's had up since childhood. During this scene is when he fully realizes that. He sort of did it to himself, trying to prove he wasn't the "coward" or "pussy" his father always feared he was. Instead, he made her the only person who could really destroy him.

What's the weirdest thing in your search history?

Oh boy, too much. The world's most lethal poisons and how cleanly they kill a victim. How much voltage the human body can take. How to successfully hide a body. How cult-like brainwashing works. Way too many articles about opiates, weapon smuggling and the hierarchy of the gang world. There's a reason I only use the private browser now.

What's your favorite and least favorite part about writing on Wattpad?

My favorite thing about writing on here is the people. The messages, the DM's, the weird conversations—all of them make my day. I never thought I would have such a loyal, kind little community here and it means the world to me that you all stick with me.

My least favorite part about writing on here is the unnecessary negative comments. Constructive criticism is more than fine, but when people leave comments like, "Why can't this character die already?" or "I just really don't even care about this" I do take it to heart because I've put too much time and effort into this story for it to be boiled down to a single negative thought. I think action books have it worse than most other genres, but I don't really get why.

I don't know, maybe this is excessive and annoying but it really is rude when new readers just take every opportunity to shit on characters other than Delphinium?? Like?? Bitch if you want a story that has all the things you want in it, write your own—you know?

Okay I popped off a little, I'll chill now.

How would Riley rate each of the original crew members on a scale of attractiveness?

1. Herself 2. Kane, a close second because he's fine obviously 3. Jaxon, who also happens to be very fine 4. Gigi, because Riley tends to like dark good looks 5. Delphinium, as she's obviously gorgeous 6. Finn, who is very much a pretty boy but unfortunately for him, has lighter looks which she is not as attracted to 7. Arlo, since he's a little more androgynous and that's not as much her type 8. Jake, not because she thinks he's ugly, but because he's very rough and unhinged and definitely nOt a pretty boy

Who was the most difficult character to write?

This one definitely made me think. Delphinium has always come easily to me, as has Riley, Jaxon and mostly Kane. I struggled a lot with Jake in the start, as you can unfortunately see in Blood and Bone, but once I understood him, he became one of the easiest ones.

Arlo and Benton are somehow very similar and radically different at the same time. Sometimes I think I still don't fully understood them because a lot of their reactions are so abnormal.

Finn surprised me, to say the least. I knew I wanted him to appear as a little ray of sunshine, but he also struggles deeply with the destructive nature of his power and his sense of responsibility amidst his more fucked up teammates. He didn't always act the way I expected him to. I think he has many more layers than anyone gives him credit for, and I'm excited to hone in on them while rewriting.

Gigi, Gigi, Gigi. My poor psycho child. To be quite honest, she didn't quite turn out perfect enough for me in the first book. Because of that unsteady foundation I had with her, I really didn't understand her until her breakdown in the hotel hallway in F&F. Despite that, I aimed to make her one of the most complex characters in R&R. She's a villain, but she's also not. She's insane, but some of her decisions make sense. She has immense strength but she's simultaneously one of the weakest characters at that point. The girl's a walking paradox. I never wanted her to just be an easily-hated villain, I want people to see how complex of a survivor she really is. And I think I finally accomplished that, despite her being so damn difficult to write.

What races/ethnicities are all the characters?

Delphinium, Jake, Finn, Jaxon and Hundsen are white. Riley, Benton and Kane are Hispanic. Arlo, to me, is ethnically ambiguous, perhaps with some Asian descent. Hunt is ethnically ambiguous as well. Gigi is black. Neve and Arezo are Arabic. Arden Rong was Asian. Orion was Middle Eastern (not specified from where).

Did Jake actually care for his birth mother?

Here's the thing: I feel like a lot of people took her death as the thing that made him shut down completely so he wouldn't feel the pain of losing someone else. But that's not the case; he never had enough contact with her to develop a normal bond.

He didn't care for her at all, certainly not in the way he cares for Delphinium or even Jaxon. However, though she was unstable, she did care for him and it was something he'd never experienced before. I think there was more confusion and a bit of curiosity on his part when she was still alive because clearly no one else felt for him as his birth mother did. Hundsen saw her death as a weak spot for Jake, but Jake only gets riled about her death because he's angry with himself that he felt even an inkling of curiosity about his birth mother.

Why did Finn have to die?

Finn was meant to die from the very beginning. His main goal/purpose on the team is to protect the others. That's all he wanted. So in the end, he gave the ultimate sacrifice and took the death they were all meant to have. His death also forces all the others to make better decisions because he's not there to be their moral compass anymore.

In all honesty, I hated killing him not just because he's a perfect little child but also because I really didn't want one half of the only LGBT+ couple in the series to die. I never want to contribute to the homophobic "bury your gays" trope in YA. His death was planned before his sexuality ever was, but it still seems wrong. In the rewritten versions, there will be a wider variety of sexualities explored in the characters.

Did Neve and Gigi have feelings for each other beyond friendship?

I know this was a popular theory and I was very tempted to make them canon. However, I knew Neve had to die for Gigi's character development and I wasn't trying to break up the only two non-straight relationships in the series.

Neve cared for Gigi pretty quickly because she reminded her of Arezo, who she couldn't save. So she helped save Gigi instead. Gigi cared for Neve deeply because she filled the hole of companionship/love she lost from her mother and then Delphinium. They saw each other as the sisters they needed in the most troubling time in their lives.

Are Jake and Delphinium a couple now?

Ah, the million dollar question. I know what you all want me to say, but no. Here's the thing: they will likely never be girlfriend and boyfriend. Having candlelit dinners and movie theatre dates would never be their thing anyway. Yes, they love and care for each other in their own unorthodox way. And they definitely will not be with anybody else. But in the life they live, and after their combined trauma, they will never have the normalcy of being a couple like that.

Because of his own trauma, Jake especially finds it difficult to connect emotionally with anyone—even if he cares for them. He simply doesn't know how and is terrified of trying. With that kind of a trauma-induced mindset, it's no wonder he wouldn't be open to the things that come with being in a romantic relationship with someone.

That being said, he does love Delphinium and does secretly find himself pining after her. And they will always be with each other now that she's the lieutenant of his gang, so possibilities are open...

What are the sexualities of all the characters?

I went into this series not really having any idea, so therefore there isn't much mention of it in the beginning. Finn and Arlo are obviously the only confirmed gay people, but that doesn't mean there aren't others that could be open to non-straight relationships. Not to J.K. Rowling my characters, but if you look for the signs, Riley is definitely bisexual, and I see Jaxon as not really caring much about gender for his prospective love interests, while Gigi swings more for women in my mind.

All in all, the only people on the team (including Benton and Arezo now) I think are 100% straight are Jake and Kane.

Looking back on the beginning, I wish I'd included more of the characters' various sexualities. It was kind of an awkward/misplaced thing to just mention in the middle of the chaos of car chases and shootouts, but there are definitely places where I plan to fit it in smoothly during rewriting.

What was the inspiration for this series?

Not to toot my own horn, but a lot of it was just my imagination. Ever since I was a child, I've always been drawn to complex, gray characters, especially female main characters with those traits. I feel like they're not always written the way I want them to be, so I did it myself. Plus I added in everything I like to read about: the slowest slow burns, powerful women, conflicted murderers, intricate family issues, a messy and complicated criminal underworld.

I know a lot of people have noticed similarities between this series and several animes along with various Marvel stories. I'll admit that I've never seen any animes, so I can't really vouch for the similarities. But studying Marvel's characters taught me a lot about storytelling and how to successfully combine a diverse range of subjects/genres. The similarities between characters have never been intended, but now I look back and think it's funny how it subconsciously came out within my own work.

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If you have any more questions, no matter how serious, weird or funny, feel free to ask here. Maybe it's because I never get to talk about these stories in real life, but I love answering your questions.

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[ F U N F A C T S ]

—Before I even wrote anything, I was originally going to have Gigi and Jaxon get together instead of Riley and Kane. Yikes.

—Benton was going to be a much less significant character than he is now, basically just in the story for a side-plot for Kane. And then I realized what a loudmouthed, insane, drama queen he is and the rest is history.

—Though they're all parts of me, Delphinium's personality is mostly modeled after my own. Jake's revenge plot was inspired by Six of Crows because it's the book that I taught myself how to properly write off of. Arlo (along with Jake and Gigi during her murdering spree) was inspired by many insane characters, ranging from the Joker to Klaus Hargreeves and many other diverse sociopaths. Jaxon and Kane are my ideal men. Finn is utter perfection. And Riley is the level of bad bitch I strive to be.

—In the first version of this story, Jake had a love interest besides Delphinium (thinking back on that is so weird) and Arlo had a female love interest named Julia. This was before I made it Gigi's given name.

—Neve was originally going to only be in one chapter and then promptly die. Similarly, Arezo was never meant to become a part of the crew until I realized how well she fit with them.

—Kane's name is derived from the Biblical story of Cain and Abel—where two brothers are rivals and one ends up killing the other in a fit of jealousy.

—I came up with the name Emerson, Jake's birth name, because it means 'powerful'. His name given at adoption, Jake, means 'usurper.' This signifies the change in his destiny after being adopted by Nathan Evans.

—There were originally going to be four main characters dead by the end of the series: Finn, Neve, Gigi and Delphinium. There was also a time in which I nearly had all the characters to die in the end. In that version, Hunt had the last chapter's POV.

—Each of Delphinium's first POVs in the three books starts out the same way—with Delphinium looking over her shoulder.

—I have a very, very, very strong headcanon that Gigi and Arezo end up together, bonding over their loss of Neve and eventually growing much closer in a different way...

—Delphinium is named for a beautiful, yet poisonous, type of flower.

—I originally planned for Kane to have had a past drug problem, but cut it out in the version you've read because it was only Delphinium's POV in the first book. In the rewrites, it will be added in again since his POV will be explored.

—The second book begins with an exact foreshadowing of the ending: Delphinium being dragged back into the Romanian forest.

—I don't know how many people noticed this, but in Jake's dream in F&F Chapter 12, Delphinium says, "If you were truly in love with me, you would have chosen me over your revenge." Of course, Jake denies this. Later on, he chose to come save her from Marcella Krasowski over Hundsen's fight. Do with that what you will.

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( If you still want more extras, I have a Pinterest account (@Tencutepuppies) that has extra information, aesthetics and images of my characters, both current and upcoming. )