Almost a month passed, and I tried to go with the flow and not show impatience in my plan. Things weren't going as quickly as I had hoped. But still, I tried to focus on the positive. James and I were getting along splendidly. We had patched things up quite nicely. I was downstairs all of the time. Overall it was going well.

Eye on the prize, Corrine.

"So, the best day of the year is coming next week," James said during dinner a few weeks later.

"Really? What?" I asked.

"Your birthday, of course."

I had completely forgotten. I would be turning twenty-five on June twenty-eighth.

"No, no, no. What gave you that idea? I don't have a birthday," I defended.

"Oh, yes, you do," James corrected. "And it's the big quarter century."

"Please, let's forget it, okay? I really don't want to celebrate."

"What? No, we are celebrating it. It's an important day in history. What do you think of having a big party? Invite Dan and Tyler over? Maybe the Mannings and Palmers too?"

This was getting out of control, fast.

"No, no, no," I laughed. "Really, James, I don't want to have a party. Please, seriously, no party."

"OK, then, if you don't want a party, what do you want?"

"Nothing," I replied, simply. "I don't want or need anything. Honestly."

"Oh, please. What woman doesn't want something?" James retorted.

"I have all that I want—you," I feigned dramatically, and he laughed. I relished in any positive responses I could get from him.

"Okay, okay, all jokes aside, I really do want to do something for your birthday. I'm sure you can think of something you'd like or want to do," James prodded.

I thought about it for a moment, and I couldn't think of anything I needed, per se. However . . .

"Well, I guess there is one thing."

"Yes?"

"Well, I haven't seen a movie in ages," I began. "I would love to see that new romantic comedy that came out a couple weeks ago. The previews look so good, and I miss the movie popcorn and squeaky seats and sticky floors and . . ."

James looked away and stretched back in his chair. An awkward silence filled the room.

"I—I thought, you know, since Sophia can see movies, maybe I could start, too. With you, of course."

My plea hung in the air. It was a gamble, but I thought maybe James would be ready. After all, it had been almost a month since the Memorial Day incident.

James cleared his throat. "Look, Corrine—"

"Listen, I have the perfect solution. We could go to a super late show where no one would see us. You could escort me in, straight to a seat, and no one would even have to see me. And the movie's already been out for a while, so it should be pretty empty."

My idea sounded plausible. James began clearing plates into the kitchen.

"Well, you asked for ideas," I said defensively. Silence. "Never mind, it was a stupid, sudden idea. I don't know what I was thinking."

"Corrine, it's not a dumb idea," James began. "But, it's just that—"

"Yeah, yeah, no problem. Really."

I began helping clear the table, wiping my tears away. I would've given anything to see a movie in a theatre, like old times. There was nothing like seeing it in surround sound, with a big box of popcorn and sitting in auditorium seating. But no matter what I could say at that moment, nothing could convince James I wasn't going to try something foolish. I should've never thought this was plausible. But how long would it take to further my plan? This was at a ridiculous pace.

James didn't press me any further about gift ideas after that, and I was grateful. Now more than ever I wished not to celebrate my birthday, because to celebrate it would be to acknowledge the one gift I wasn't going to receive—freedom.

* * *

My birthday came with the pomp and circumstance I wished it hadn't. James tried to make the day special, starting with a home-cooked breakfast downstairs. I even received a reprieve from working out for the day, which was the best part.

After breakfast, James let me lounge and do whatever I wanted for the morning and afternoon. It was the last week of June, and it was already hot and muggy. The summer was in full force, but I was so pale compared to the normal summer brown I would have had by August in Southern California. So, I put on some shorts and a tank top and laid out on a lounge chair on the patio. Even with the humidity, it felt good to be in the sun. My next wish would've been for a pool—then it would've been perfect. I relaxed and watched James take care of the animals.

I began reading an old favorite from high school, Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. Elizabeth Bennet was always one of my favorite literary characters, and I found myself drawn to her even more since coming to Kansas. She was intelligent yet fallible. She learned from her mistakes and prejudice against Darcy, her love in the end. She had prematurely judged him as arrogant, but she eventually realized they were perfect for one another. The correlation to my own life did not escape me.

I eventually dozed off in the sun. I awoke, hot and sweaty and decided to move to the table that had a big umbrella. When I did, a turkey sandwich and milk were waiting for me. I cooled myself off with the hose, then sat down for a restful lunch.

It felt so relaxing to eat in the summer heat, on my own time, with no pressures or people to worry about. Then I thought it was strange James didn't join me. He must have been watching me somewhere. I looked into the house but couldn't see anything.

After lunch I was boiling in the Kansas humidity and walked into the house to take a shower.

"Enjoying yourself?" James said from the couch.

My eyes began adjusting to the inside light.

"Yes, thank you. It was nice to get some sun."

I took a shower in my own bathroom upstairs and thought of taking a nap afterward. The sun had really drained my energy. When I came out of the bathroom with my robe on, I was startled to find James standing there.

"Sorry to scare you," he said. "I just wanted to come up and say hi."

"Oh. Well, hi," I said awkwardly, as I kept my robe cinched shut. Most of my clothes were downstairs by that time, so I'd have to get dressed later.

He sat down on my bed. "Enjoying your day?" he inquired.

"Yes, I'm having a great time. Thanks," I said politely.

But the truth was it all felt forced.

"That's good, that's good," he trailed off. "Listen, Corrine, I, uh, I'm sorry about the movie thing."

"Oh, no worries. Like I said, it was a stupid idea anyway. I don't know what I was thinking."

"No, no, it was a great idea. I just, we can't do that, is all."

"Yeah, I understand. Listen, I'm really tired. Mind if I take a—"

"Corrine." He jumped up and hugged me. "Please don't hate me. This is all happening too fast. I can't wrap my mind around it. I don't know how to share you with the world and not think I'll lose you forever."

"Yeah, I get it, James." I pushed away from him. This could really work toward my advantage. "Really, it's not a problem. You told me this last month, remember? I was—I thought maybe in almost a month's time, when you said you were going to try, you would've felt differently by now, is all. I don't see that we've made any progress since then."

The resentment in my voice wasn't acting.

"I'm not a big birthday person anyway. My birthday's no big deal, really. I'd be happier if we didn't celebrate it at all."

"You know that's not going to happen."

"Well, this is just another day to me," I said a little meanly. "I want to take a nap now, please."

"Oh, well, okay. I'll see you later then. Um, come downstairs when you wake up, okay?"

"Sure."

He kissed me on the cheek.

I fell asleep and had a strange dream my family room had been transformed into a real movie theater. I got to sit in plush seating and eat movie popcorn, but James wasn't anywhere to be found. I looked around the whole theatre, but I was the only one there. I began to panic. I ran to the doors, but they wouldn't open. I was locked in. I screamed, but no one heard me.

I awoke, sweaty and disoriented. Until I realized I was in the comfort of my own bed.

I hung around the apartment the rest of the afternoon until I figured James would probably be looking for me soon. So, I dragged myself downstairs, dreading the celebration to come.

I entered the family room to find birthday decorations strewn about, streamers across the drapes, the table all decorated, and a birthday cake on the kitchen counter. I groaned. I had no chance of flying under the radar now.

"Happy birthday!" James yelled.

"Oh, my gosh. Wow! Thank you," I said.

James gave me a big hug and kiss.

I saw one of my favorite meals on the dinner table—pizza. I so rarely got to have pizza, since it wasn't healthy for me.

I racked my brain for something to talk about during dinner. James was particularly quiet, and I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. I had only added salt to his wounds with my spiteful words earlier. But I knew deep down it was what was right for my plans. So why did I feel so bad about it?

I was battling my own internal struggle, impatient with James but empathizing with him at the same time. I worried he would never come around.

After dinner, James asked, "So, would you like to cut the cake first or open your present?"

I was really hoping there would be no gifts.

"Oh, really, I—I don't need any gifts. I have everything I need," I protested.

"You don't even know what it is."

James exited and came back with a big box that was poorly wrapped and sat it in front of me at the dinner table.

"Whoa. What is this?"

"You'll have to open it and see," James teased.

I reached to open the box, but it began shaking in front of me, making me startle in my seat.

"OK, what is in this? Is it going to jump out at me as a joke or something?"

"Open it!" he insisted.

Then the box meowed—a sad, little meow.

"Oh, my gosh!" I tore the wrapping paper off as quickly as I could and flipped up the flaps.

Meow, it said.

We looked at each other, and I instantly fell in love. It was white with orange stripes and no bigger than a cantaloupe.

"Oh!" I picked it up out of the box.

James beamed, apparently happy with his gift choice.

"I love it! Her. Him. What is it?"

"It's a girl. She's only about six weeks old."

"Oh, she's so precious! Is she really mine? I mean, ours? We can keep her?"

"Absolutely." James had an ear-to-ear smile.

"I love her. Thank you. This is the best gift ever."

Even better than the movies. I now had something to love me unconditionally, no matter what mistakes I might make. No strings attached and no rules.

And I loved her back, unconditionally.

What a sweet gift, even if Corrine didn't get to go to a movie. Thanks for reading. I hope you continue on Corrine's journey. :)