"You're helping me trust that there's a beautiful purpose in this broken heart."

************

Natalie's POV

I wanted to hit him.

I wanted to grab that gun he keeps around and hit him on the head with it.

"I won't understand?" I questioned, not caring to hide how I felt offended because how dare he, "It's my job to understand," I added, taking a step forward, frustrated at his words and actions, "For god's sake, even when you keep me at an arm's length, even when you hide away every single thing about you, even when I know you for just a couple of months now, I still understand, maybe parts only, but I do."

"You killed in front of me, Nikolas, I saw in your eyes how by doing so, it soothed you," I explained, "You keep warning me, telling me that you did all these horrible things," I added, "You wanna talk about red flags, they are all over the place but that's only for someone looking at the surface," I pressed my hand over my chest, "I don't look at the surface, I studied it in books how not to look at the surface," My eyebrows pulled closer, "Do you think that if for a second only I felt threatened by you in any way, that I would've invited you into my house? That I would've even let you be in my life?"

He didn't talk, he just listened, "I am not naive, Nikolas, I am not stupid," I shook my head, "I just trust my instincts, I trust my sixth sense," I added, "So, even when I don't know everything, I still understand who you are."

"I understand that deep down inside of you...yes, there is a monster," I said everything that I knew and understood, "You said you hurt your brother, true, only a monster would do that," The muscles of his jaw worked but I carried on, not once threatened by the look in his eyes telling me to just drop it off, "But that was in the past, and you are trying everything in your power to tame that monster down, and I know, it's not easy," I shook my head, "I know how exhausting it can be to battle with the darkness inside of you and win."

"But, if you keep doing this," I pointed at him, addressing his state, "If you keep calling yourself a monster, if you keep pointing out only the bad in you, if you blame yourself for every bad thing happening, then you would never be free of that darkness Nikolas and in the end, that monster will take over again," I explained, hoping his thick stubborn brain would understand.

Air harshly pushed out of his chest, "But it's the truth Natalie," He said, "Almost every bad thing happening to the people I care about, it's happening only because of me," He added and in my brain, I imagined that I punched him so I wouldn't actually do it now and get myself killed, "It's happening because three years ago I went rogue, played some twisted sick game," His jaw clenched, "And till this day, everyone, including myself, is still paying the price of it."

His eyes dimmed with every word he muttered as his mind took him back through that memory lane and I wished he'd take me along with him, that he'd show me everything, tell me everything, "I know you're not naive, and that for some reason you feel the need to help me, but Natalie," He shook his head, "I ruin everything I touch, and unless you want to be ruined too, you should ask me to leave."

I edged forward, stealing his personal space, "Well, it's not that easy to ruin me," I said, my eyebrow raised, "And, I really doubt you'd be the one to do that."

"You don't know that."

I nodded, "I do," I said, confident in my words, "I can handle a lot, believe me, you might be the one strong physically, but me, I have a strong brain and trust me, it can't be easily broken."

"So, I think it's better if you drop the whole idea of trying to push me away," I added, shaking my head, "You ain't getting rid of me that easily."

My level of insistence on this poured more confusion into his eyes and I shook my head, changing the subject for now, "Anyway, how about you change these bloodied clothes," I mumbled, looking at his shirt before I picked up the ones from over the bad and handed them to him, "Come with me, I will show you the bathroom, you can take a shower and change."

He didn't move at first and I narrowed my eyes at him, daring him to refuse, "I swear to god if you are gonna say you want to leave, I am never talking to you again," I threatened, very serious and his jaw ticked before he finally listened to me.

Told you, I kind of know my way around him now.

When he went in to take a quick shower, I decided to leave the room, and sit far away so I won't have to hear the water running and imagine him in my very own shower, water dripping down his soft thick hair, to his hot face and all the way to his hard rock chest...oh shit, I need to busy my mind with something else or I will end up barging in there.

I went to the kitchen and prepared some herbal tea, in an attempt to calm down the nerves he rocked in me since he dropped by my house today's morning, looking so distressed and in a way, terrified. Apparently, he had the total right to be worried.

For god's sake, did his father seriously murder his own grandson? I can't begin to comprehend how sick that is. But, given the fact he is after Nikolas, his very own son, and trying to ruin his life, then, I shouldn't be even surprised.

I headed back to my room, holding the two cups of tea. I placed them on the nightstand, and right then, the bathroom's door opened. I turned around, the first thing my eyes fell into was the sweatshirt he was wearing, the one I just gave him, the one I haven't seen dad wearing since before the accident happened.

My heart clenched so tight and I stepped closer to him. My feet paused when I was right by his side and my eyes flickered from his chest up to his gorgeous face. His hair still wet and dark, the deep green of his eyes tired but a bit better than the moment he stepped into my house. I offered him a small smile before I tiptoed and fixed the hoodie of the sweatshirt, "You should figure how special you are to me, because I would never let anyone wear dad's shirt," I said, tapping my hand over it.

My words calmed down his troubled expression, "How is he?" He asked, the change in the subject seemed to steal him away from the maze his brain is lost in, "Do you still go and see him?"

I nodded, "Yeah, whenever I have free time, I drop by," I mumbled, a low sad sigh parted my lips, "He is still the same, no progress," I swallowed past the lump lodging my throat and ushered Nikolas to sit down, "Actually, tomorrow I will go and see him."

A small moment of silence passed by us as I settled down the bed's edge by his side, "Can I go with you?" He asked, out of the blue and I whipped my head to his direction, startled at the request, "Uh...why?"

He shrugged, "I just want to," He said, "If you...don't mind, of course."

Involuntary, I smiled and nodded my head, "Yeah, of course," I said, astonished that he even suggested that, "I always go alone, it would be a nice change to have someone with me there."

He nodded, satisfied, and his expression reflected that this is exactly why he wants to accompany me. Is it possible that he is trying to offer me comfort, like I always try to do to him? Oh, Mr. grumpy pants, you are showing me layers of you I didn't know existed and I freaking love it.

I took the tea cup and handed it to him, he just shook his head, "I don't drink that," And we are back to grumpy. Great.

I shot him a glare and pushed it into his hands, "It's healthy, drink it," I ordered, before I took mine and shifted my position, resting my back against the headboard. Nikolas took a sip and made a very unhappy, unsatisfied face before he placed it away, having enough. I rolled my eyes at this man-child as he settled down beside me.

I took that as my chance to edge a bit closer to his side, the side of my arm touching his, "So, what do you plan on doing now?" I asked, taking a small sip of my hot drink, "I am pretty sure what your father just did changes everything."

The subject had his jaw ticking and he nodded, "I have something in mind," Was it his tone or that darkness that flashed in his eyes that assured me he's planning something, something bad.

"Anyway," He shook his head, dismissing the subject as he turned his head to me, "I feel like we always just talk about me," He pointed out as he crossed his arms over his chest, "Tell me more about you."

My eyes widened and I placed the cup away, so I won't spill it before I turned my whole body around to face him, "Are you by any chance curious about me?" I asked, not caring to hide my shock or the tease in my tone.

He sighed, regretting his words, "Here we go."

I crossed my legs in front of me, "It's just I am always so curious about you," I pointed at him, "I mean you are this big, tall and dangerous human with those amazing eyes and those abs and that beautiful smile," I added, not shying away from boosting his ego and his eyebrow raised, rather playfully, "So, it feels kind of surreal for you to be the one curious about small tiny me."

He fought his smile and I added, taking the chance he is offering, "So, what do you want to know?"

"Everything," He simply said.

I smiled widely at him, biting down at my lip, thinking before I literally started to tell him everything, "So, my favorite color is red, my favorite movie is the Shawshank redemption, my-" I noticed the tightening of his eyebrows and I sighed, "Of course you don't know what that is, don't worry," I tapped my hand over his arm, "We can watch it together sometime."

"Anyways, my favorite music are the 60's," My lips curled up as I thought more about me, "I don't like flowers, so if you ever want to bring me a gift, I'd rather it be something that can be eaten," I added, shrugging, "Or something I can drink," My eyebrow raised, "I am a sucker for red wine, as you already know."

He just sat there, watching me ramble on silly small details about myself with a breathless expression, his eyes so green now, so alive but also heavy, like an anchor holding me down and closer to him. His gaze softened and I felt something stuck in my windpipe, something that assured me of how much I like this man. This is no longer just the psychologist me trying to solve his mystery and finish up his puzzle, just for the reason that I can never leave a riddle undone.

And that's what he is; a puzzle, a paradox, so very complicated and intriguing, so hard to solve but also very easy; it's almost as if the answer key is right there, in front of my naked eyes, but for some reason, I cannot see it.

I sucked into a deep breath, ridding my mind of its many complicated complex thoughts, "I like cars," I carried on, "Took that from my dad, I guess, he was obsessed and would gush to me about it all the time," I added, "He even started to teach me how to drive when I was so young and my mom would scold him for that all the time."

The memory brought a sad smile to my lips and I carried on, "Anyway, we lived in a small town in the suburbs," I added, "It was the type of town where you knew all of your neighbors, and almost every student in school was your friend," I shrugged, "We had a really simple life, we didn't travel much, it was just me, my brother, and my parents."

"We were happy in a way," I added, and something flashed across his eyes before he looked away, for a second unable to meet my gaze, as if he didn't like how that happiness was stolen away from us.

I let out a low breath, talking about this after so long made me relax a bit, to share a small portion of the load I was carrying all alone, "Then, Ronald and I, uhh Ronald is my brother by the way," I explained and Nikolas nodded, understanding, "We got accepted to college in the city and I was both excited that we'll be moving but also sad, because my mother was pregnant at the time, which meant I was gonna miss a lot of that little one's life."

"She was pregnant?" Nikolas didn't hold back, the shock written all over his face as he asked his question.

I gulped down and nodded, "Yeah, it was a boy," I added, my gaze dropping to my lap, "She was going to name him Nathanial, she really loved that name," A somber smile pulled at my lips, "She was gonna name Ronald that at first, you know to make our names match, but when she was pregnant with us, my father's dad passed away so it only felt right to name Ronald after him."

I lifted my eyes to Nikolas and he was watching me explain with a very puzzled expression, as if he was trying to understand something, "She was days away from giving birth when the accident happened," Even after all these years, even though I dealt with my grief the healthy way, it still hurts like hell, I could feel it scratch at my throat as I carried on, "She didn't make it, nor did the baby and dad fell into a coma for years."

I fought against the pain pressing over my chest and faced Nikolas, "Now, you know all there is about me," I tried to make my tone playful, I tried to smile but failed.

Without warning, his arm went around my shoulder, and pulled me to him. Instead of teasing him about this, like I would always do, I just leaned into his embrace, the side of my head resting over his chest and I let my eyelids glide down, "What happened after the accident?" he asked, urging me to talk about the second part that hurt me as well.

"I couldn't go to college, of course, I missed the first semester trying to get back to my feet and look after dad, hoping he was going to wake up," I said, "I was lost, on one side my mother's death, on the other dad's health, and then there was Ronald," The bit of anger and hurt that flashed in my tone had Nikolas gently run his hand up and down my arm, soothing me, "In a situation like this, I thought he was going to be by my side, facing this together, instead he would just disappear on me for days. I would always stay at the hospital with dad, but he wouldn't even go there."

"I couldn't take his actions anymore, so one day when he decided to come back home, I talked with him and we ended up having a big fight," I mumbled, "He got so angry and stormed out, I thought like every time, he will come back in a couple of days, but that time was different, a week passed, then two, and I didn't see or hear from him."

Maybe I dealt with my mom passing away, with my father never being the same strong man again, but one thing I can never make my peace with, is what Ronald made me go through.

"I got so worried, I searched everywhere, I kept calling him and all of his friends, in the end, I even went to the police, I thought something had happened to him and I really wasn't ready to lose another person," My voice shook at that last sentence and I pressed my eyes shut, fighting the stupid tears, "You know what he did, he just called me, told me he is never coming back, to stop calling him, to stop searching for him," I shook my head and Nikolas's arm tightened over me, sensing my distress, "Still, I kept looking for him, I knew he wasn't okay, I knew he was hurting too, I wanted to help him, I wanted him to help me deal with how our family was stolen away from us...but after all that time I wasted trying to find someone who doesn't want to be found, I just had to give up on him as well."

I wiped the stupid tear that escaped and straightened myself up, pulling away from him, "I guess now you are regretting asking me to talk, huh," I tried to make my tone playful as I sniffled.

Concern tightened his brows and he shook his head, "Definitely not," He edged forward toward me, "I have a feeling you always just listen to everyone's problems, that you never got the chance to talk about your own," And that was so true, because I always believed I can deal with my problems on my own, by myself like I've been doing since that dreadful day.

"It felt good to talk about it out loud for once," I mumbled, smiling and slowly getting back to myself, "So, thank you."

He shook his head, "You can talk to me about anything, Natalie."

Oh, you...you really gonna ruin my poor heart, aren't you?

"Anything?" I asked.

He nodded, "You're sure, anything anything?" I asked again, my tone teasing and hinting on something, but he was clueless as always.

He nodded again, "Yes, anything."

"Then, how about this," I started, "I like you, a lot, like a lot a lot," I said, straightforward as always because what's the point of lying or hiding, life is short as it is, "And I think it's so unfair to look past that when I've never felt this much pulled toward anyone else before."

I noticed the bob in his throat, the hard swallow before his hand went up and scratched the side of his neck. I smiled, understanding him now to the point that I know what he is thinking about. He is nervous, he has no idea how to respond to that. Oh god, give me a day or two and I will blindly fall for the guy, despite all the danger he brings with him.

"Natalie-"

I shook my head, shutting him up, "I know what you're gonna say, I am this monster, I did bad things, I am this big bad wolf, if you know what I did you wouldn't want to be with me, blah blah blah," I mimicked his voice and he shot me a glare, "I don't sound like that."

I chuckled and nodded, "I know, I can never make my voice sound that deep and hot, sorry," I said, tease fluttering all over my lips before I shook my head, "Anyway, let's skip your usual negative speech and let me tell you something," I tucked my hair behind my ear, "I don't want to know."

Confusion drew lines over his forehead and I added, explaining, "If knowing will make me want to stay away from you, then," I shrugged, "I don't want to know," I said, for the very first time fighting against my curious instincts, "What happened in the past, let's keep it in the past, I am not gonna be with that Nikolas, I wanna be with this one," I pointed at him, "The one who hugs me when I am sad, the one who took me into his house to protect me, the one who comes to me every time he feels down, the one that smiles that beautiful smile that I adore, and occasionally, the one who is grumpy and threatens to snap my neck when I annoy him so much," I joked, "I want this Nikolas."

I could see it in his eyes, he wanted that too, he wanted it as badly, but he fought against his very own instincts, punishing himself for something, "Do you like me?" I shot my question without restraints, "Answer it, truthfully, without thinking about the past or the future, just answer, do you like me?"

His green eyes were hesitant at first, but the longer they gazed into mine, they shimmered with need and desire and everything he didn't want to want. He stole the air form my lungs when he nodded his head, "Yeah."

Oh my god...I mean I felt it before, but hearing him confirm it, Jesus, my heart needs a grip.

My smile was all girly and shy and happy, "You like me," I mumbled, a statement now, "What do you like about me?"

He sighed, "We are not gonna do that now, are we," He mumbled, grumpy as always.

I rolled my eyes, "Romantic as always," I commented and he gave me a knowing look, "Told you, I am not that."

I nodded, "Now, will you ask me the question?" I stated, my eyebrow raising as I made quotation marks with my fingers.

Air pushed out of his lungs, "Do I have to?" He mumbled, rubbing a hand over his neck, "I told you I like you, what more do you want?"

I slapped the side of his arm, playfully, I could barely cause any damage to him and his muscles, "Don't make me kick you out," I warned.

"I wanted to leave, you insisted I stay," He replied back and I groaned, "Okay, you know what, maybe this was a bad idea," I added, very annoyed as I started to back away from the bed.

His hand curled over my arm and in a swift motion pulled me back to him, I gasped when my chest hit his and I was practically straddling his lap. Oh, damn. His eyes held mine, all strong and possessive, a wild forest I was going to get lost in so soon, "Do you want to be my..." He cleared his throat, the whole situation bothering him beyond measures, "My girlfriend or whatever?"

I bit down at my lip, hiding my giddy smile but failing, "Like that? No flowers, no romantic dinner, nothing?" I teased him still, just for the purpose of driving him crazy.

He huffed out, still annoyed by this more than he should, "You don't like flowers," He pointed out, calling me off on my bullshit, "I already took you out on a dinner," He added, playing the quirky smart card with me, "And not to mention, I practically gave you my car."

I sighed and rolled my eyes, "God, it's gonna be so easy to fall in love with you, isn't it," I added mockingly but I could feel him tensing up at the infamous L-word.

He gave me a shrug, "You know what you're signing up for," He said, ever so casually, "Do you want to or not? I don't have all day," He added and I chuckled, unable to hide it anymore, "Kiss me, you grumpy human," I indirectly gave him his answer, the few words finally giving me my favorite smile ever.

I rested my hand over his chin, my finger tracing his lower lip with a content smile. His hand over the back of my neck led the way, tilting my head so he can kiss me, and he...he kissed me.

Our lips collided, his lips firm, strong and I melted, my lips softened, weakened as his tongue dipped into my mouth, a spiral of heat swirled in my stomach, this kiss so different than our previous ones. This was slow, intense, this spoke of a hundred different words and promises. My fingers grazed his shoulder, over the shirt's material, desperately pulling him closer to me, wanting every cell of his to collide with mine but I know it's not that easy, not this fast.

Steps. We have to take it step-by-step.

His hand caressed down my spine, his mouth still slowly and powerfully moving over mine, the heat of the thorough kiss burned me down to ashes. I trapped down the need in me to claim him all and looked up at him dazedly as he held me so close to his chest with one arm. The forests in his eyes were deep with intensity and at this moment, I felt both thrilled but also...scared.

Not from him.

But from me.

I felt his thumb gently brushing my cheek and I leaned into his touch, savoring it. He looked at me like I am so...perfect. This precious thing he needed to keep away from his dark world, "I will never hurt you," He mumbled, the strong promise in his words so sincere, it's almost like he felt the need to say it, to assure himself that he won't let the real monsters in his life do that either.

I nodded my head, "I know."

"But, I won't hide from you the things that happened," He added, his jaw tightening, "You need to know or else it won't be fair."

I nodded, "You will tell me," I said, "But not now, when we are both ready for it, okay?"

He nodded and I leaned in, stealing any left words as I let him take my lips into another round of blissfulness...but the sound of the phone ringing echoed and interrupted us. I groaned and backed away, totally and utterly annoyed. Nikolas looked ten times even more annoyed as his gaze fell on his phone's screen.

I know he had to take it, so I just nodded my head, telling him it's okay. He answered the phone and I silenced his spoken words, I just leaned into his embrace like before, enjoying this simple little moment as my temple rested over his chest.

On instinct, as if we've done this before, his arm wrapped around me warmly and pulled me closer. The stress that rocked me all day slowly left my body and when I let my eyelids glide down, I kept wondering; was it a dream or real...did we really just start something this night?

With that though swirling in my mind, with Nikolas's strong arm around me, and with a happy small smile on my lips, I fell asleep.

***************

Nikoals's POV

Sleep wasn't exactly my thing. Three hours, maybe four could get me going through the day, the less, the better. I wouldn't even close my eyes till all of my energy gets depleted and my body aches for some much-needed rest. Well, that was the case before.

Till last night.

I can't even remember how I fell asleep, all I remember was ending the call from stupid Ronald who had to fill me in on the guy they caught. I remember hanging up on him and turning to see Natalie fast asleep in my embrace, and the next thing I knew, I was opening my eyes to see the clock on the nightstand signaling nine in the morning.

My gaze flickered from the clock to the reason behind my uninterrupted, somewhat peaceful sleep. She was still all tucked up to my side, her head resting over my chest, her hand fisted around the material of the sweatshirt and her hair a blonde mess all over me.

I stared at her for a long moment, unable to register how I am allowing myself to do this; starting something with her when deep down I knew she deserved much better. But, keeping her close could be a better option than anything else. Isaac's words of protecting her meant nothing, he could easily twist that into something that could hurt her in the end. If Joseph ever gets to know who she is, he would hurt her and I can't let that happen.

My hand went and moved the hair away from her face, I tucked it behind her ear and watched her sleep. I couldn't help my smile and the sudden calmness that erupted all over my chest, she looked so peaceful, wrapped up in her own safe haven.

Something moved, stealing my gaze away from her. My jaw tightened when I saw that animal thing tucked up to Natalie's side, her little paws hidden under her body and her eyes on me only. The eyes were so blue and its fur too white, but for the love of god, I couldn't find that little monster any cute.

It didn't look away and I shot it a glare, she meowed or something and I sighed, unable to understand how Natalie could ever love that thing.

On cue, she shifted in my arms, slowly waking up. A low moan left her side, her eyes opening up and lazily dropping down again while that animal rested its head against Natalie's back. I shooed it away with my hand but it didn't budge. Unbelievable.

I ignored it and looked down at Natalie, "Morning," I mumbled and I saw the small smile curving her lips before her eyes widened a bit and she covered her face, "Hold on, don't look at me till I go wash up and fix my hair," She said, pulling away from my embrace, "You can't see how I look when I wake up yet," She added in panic and tried to run off the bed.

My hand shot out to her wrist and I pulled her back to me, "Come here," I said, rather strictly. She kept her hands over her face, "Remove your hands," I urged and she just shook her head, her hair flying all around her.

I rested my hand over hers, gently urging it away, "Isn't it enough that the first face I saw in the morning was your cat's?" I remarked, rather annoyed. My words had her removing them away and facing me, smiling at my comment and enjoying it more than she should.

"Don't look at me, I look like a total mess," She mumbled, pouting and I couldn't disagree more. The color of her eyes was hazed with her sleep giving it a beautiful warm shade. A pinkish redness had covered her cheeks and the tip of her nose and even with her hair disoriented all around her face, she still looked prettier than ever, "A beautiful mess," I said back.

She pulled her lower lip between her teeth and lightly punched my arm, "Don't say cute things first thing in the morning," She mumbled, my simple words flushing her skin with more redness.

She pulled away, "Let me freshen up and then we can interact like humans do," She insisted still and went to the bathroom, leaving me alone with the animal. The little thing took the chance and moved closer to me to rub its head all over my arm. My jaw tightened and I pulled away, unable to handle it.

I most probably rushed into this; it might've been a mistake. I didn't consider that by taking Natalie into my life, I am letting this little thing into it as well.

She definitely didn't understand my hostile reaction and instead, kept inching closer. I got off the bed, getting away because the thought of throwing her out of the window felt very appealing at the moment.

I pulled my phone when it started ringing to see Alex's name flash through the screen, I pressed the answer button and before I could say a thing, he shot out, "Where are you?"

I rushed a hand over my face, "Hello to you too."

"I came to your house and guess who showed up in my face, that Mia," He sounded so annoyed, "So, where the hell are you?"

"What do you want?" I asked with a sigh.

"Nikolas," Natalie called for me, coming out to my side, "Are you hungry, I can prepare us breakfast," She started to say and I facepalmed, knowing very well Alex heard her.

"Hold on, is that-" He said, "Is that Nate?"

"Alex-"

"Tell her I want breakfast too, I am on my way."

"You don't need to," I warned and he just dismissed me, "See you in a bit," He said and hung up on me.

My jaw tightened as I stared at the phone screen, knowing very well that I am not gonna be hearing the end of this anytime soon.

Not long after, the bell rang and I went to open it. The teasing in Alex's eyes was the first thing I saw before he pushed past me and walked inside, walking to the kitchen where Natalie is. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes as I followed.

He immediately grabbed a plate, made himself comfortable and started munching on the pancake, talking with Natalie as if he knows her for years now.

I let out a very annoyed sigh, interrupting him and his hyper verbal personality. His gaze drifted to me, "So, where did you disappear into last night?" He asked, his eyes narrowing at me.

I helped Natalie get in the stool beside me, taking the plates she was holding away, "He was here," She said, innocently answering his question, "I forced him to stay here," She added as she placed her hand over my arm and Alex eye's followed her hand. She gave me a small teasing smile, biting at her lower lip, "And I am kinda glad I did."

Alex's smile widened, "Oh, was he?" He said, teaser fluttering all over his tone, "Look, I never thought I'd say that, but I am kind of proud of you, kind of only, I mean you're slow but you're following into my footsteps which-" Thankfully, he was interrupted by the ringing of his phone, "This is not done," He added, pointing at me, before he answered his call.

"You're sure he is your biological brother?" Natalie whispered form beside me.

I looked at her and shook my head, my lips pressed into a thin line, "I have my doubts."

Her lips curved a small smile, "You know, you didn't give me my morning kiss yet," Her eyebrow raised, "It's one of your boyfriend's duties, by the way," She added, and something about her saying that word had me involuntary smiling. My hand rested over her lower back as I leaned in and pressed my lips to her temple.

"Holy crap," And here he comes again. Alex's eyes widened as he placed his phone down, gaping at us, "Did you just...did you just kiss her?"

I rolled my eyes, knowing this will be the talk of the month for him, "Hold on, hold on," He added, squinting his eyes at us, "You two are extra affectionate today and you have that love sick puppy eyes," And there is that smile that irritates me, "Are you two...finally dating?"

My jaw ticked and he turned to Natalie, knowing he won't get the answer from me, "Please tell me it's true," He said, "Because I might faint from the happiness."

Natalie giggled and she gave him a small nod, making the biggest smile ever break over his face. He threw his fist in the air, "Yes, I won!" He said, excitedly, "Emma and I had a bet when you would you get the balls on you to actually do it," He explained.

He turned to Natalie, his smile turning warm, "Welcome to our weird family," He said, "We are so gonna mess you up."

Natalie chuckled beside me but Alex wasn't done, he was really testing my patience again, "By the way, you gonna have to name you first born Alex, I am not accepting anything else, girl or boy," He shook his head, "I really don't care."

My elbow pressed over the table and I pressed my palm to my forehead. Told you, I might've made a mistake by all of this.

***************

Emma's POV

I hate hospitals. I thought as I changed from the stupid hospital gown into the clothes Roman got me last night.

I tucked my knife into its assigned place, feeling as if slowly I was getting back to myself. It was probably a good thing Roman hid my knives away because I was more than ready to slice the stupid doctors throat this morning when he said I should stay at least for another day. Like hell I will.

I threatened his life well enough and guaranteed my exit ticket today. I just have to wait for some test results to come out and then I can get the fuck out of this hell hole, and I thought the HEX was made to torture people. This is worse. Everything is white. The food sucks. Nurses are too nice, it's sickening.

I stood in front of the mirror, my eyes falling on my bare stomach before I slipped the shirt on. I inched closer, my hand going to the white bandage over my belly. My fingers wrapped around its edges and I slowly started to pull it away, wincing a bit at the burning sensation. I gritted my teeth when I removed it halfway and had a look at my stitched-up wound.

My jaw tightened, the anger pushing at my chest only intensified with every fucking passing second. Anger at myself more than at anything else. Anger because I was feeling tired, feeling weak, feeling disoriented and in a haze. Anger that I was hurt; I allowed myself to get hurt.

I fixed the bandage back like it was and buttoned up my shirt, ignoring every other feeling but the anger. Anger was good now, anger can help me move on, anger can help me do what should've been done all along.

My troubled thoughts got interrupted by the light knock on my door. My gaze drifted to there, waiting for whoever was on the other side to get in. The door opened and my eyes fell on Cara, probably the last person I ever expected to see here.

She got in and I just ignored her presence as I sat by the bed's edge and fixed my shoes on. I wanted to be all ready so when Roman comes back with the tests result, I can jump out of here, quick and fast.

"Roman said they agreed to get you out today," She started, getting closer to me, trying to open up a normal conversation. I just nodded my head, without looking at her side, just busy tying down my shoelaces, "But, it would've been better if you stayed for a couple more days."

My head shot up to her, "It's just a knife stab, I've had worse," I said, rather harshly, interrupting her pity session.

It wasn't just a stab...a small voice in my head whispered but I silenced its voice right away.

She nodded, her gaze softening, almost like she understands. My jaw clenched, the urge to break down everything in the room pressing over my skull; she understands shit, she has her little family, she has her kids, she has everything.

I have nothing.

I almost had something, but that too was taken away from me way too early; just like everything else.

"Emma, I know that we have our differences, but what you're going through is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemies," She said softly and stepped closer, not once threatened by the hard look in my eyes forcing her to steer away from the me, "I just came here to tell you that...I understand," She nodded, hinting that she had been through something similar, "And I get it's a hundred times more worse for you," Her throat bobbed, her jaw tightening, as if she was angry too at this sudden turn of events, "Worse because it was deliberately stolen away from you."

"I know how much it must be hurting you right now," She added and I shook my head, wanting her to shut up, "I am not you," I shot out, "I am not gonna go full on sobbing and break down, so, don't worry, I can handle this, just like I handled everything else."

She nodded, "I know you won't cry and break down now, Emma," She still had that understanding look in her eyes that drove me insane, "We all grieve in different ways, but believe me, there is gonna come a time when it will feel too much, and I am just here to tell you, when that happens, you can come to me," She sounded sincere, like she meant it, "I will be there for you, no matter when or where," She added, seriously, "I just wanted you to know that."

My fingers fisted over the sheets, trapping in the fucked up feelings her words brought inside of me, "Why?" After everything her and I went through, why would she want to help me now?

She shook her head, "I just don't think you have any female figure in your life, and I guess it's part of what makes you...you," She added, "We all need another female in our life, a friend, a mother, or a sister, just someone who would understand us or what we are going through much better than anyone else could."

"Roman can support you, your...brother can be there for you but it's not the same," She shook her head, "They don't understand how much this hurts," She had a point and I hated that, I didn't want to need her, I didn't want to need anyone, "Yes, Roman lost his baby too, but he wasn't as attached to that life growing inside of you as much as you were, it was your body that went through this, you're the one that felt it, and you are the one that literally lost part of herself."

My nails dug into the mattress, the reality of her words tightening my throat beyond measures, so I stayed silent, scared if I talked, my voice would come out weak and strangled, "Emma, you went up there to save my son, I will never forget that," She shook her head, "But it's not the reason I am doing this."

"I don't need anyone's help," I grated out, needing to believe in that sentence or I would lose who I am, who I thrived years to become.

She nodded, "But if it comes to a moment when you feel like you do need someone," She insisted, assuring me still, "I am here."

With that, she walked out, leaving me to drink in the feedback of all of this fucked up situation.

Not too many minutes later, Roman walked in, finally announcing it's time for me to leave. I skipped in my mind what just exchanged from Cara's side and grabbed the bag that had all of my things, more than ready to walk out.

Roman walked closer, "Give it to me," He said, his words meant to be innocent as his hand landed on mine, trying to take the bag out of my grip.

I whirled around so fast, pulled the knife and pressed it against his neck, not once hesitating, "Look, if you dare start treating me like I am broken or weak," I hissed at him, glaring as I pressed the knife further into his skin, "I will fucking kill you!"

He needed to understand that last night's brief moment of weakness meant nothing. I am still me. I am not weak, I can't be this easily defeated. I just can't. It's the only thing I have. This...me, is the the only thing they can't steal away.

I only needed him when I was gonna have that...child. Now that it's gone, I don't need him anymore.

Roman's eyebrows pulled closer, "Uh, okay, you can hold my things too if you want."

I shot him a glare and backed away. He rubbed a hand over his neck, "Dammit, people think these are hickeys," He sighed, disappointed, "When they are just your knives."

His stupid playful tone had one purpose only and I fought against it, but the fucker just made me smile. I immediately shook it away and concentrated on getting out of here, having enough already.

"I want to go back to London," I remarked as we got into the car.

"I already talked with Nik, and he doesn't need me here," I said, "So, I wanna go back."

"We can go tomorrow," Roman suggested and I nodded, starting to feel tired because of the stupid medicines.

"Drop me off at Nik's place," I added, resting the side of my head against the window, "He was gonna come to the hospital but I told him I can see him back at his house."

"I was thinking we can just go to my place," Roman said and I turned to him, "You do know I have an apartment here in the city, right? There is no need to stay at Nikolas's house every time we are here," He added and I shot him a glare at his stupid tone.

"So what, it will be just me and you over there?" I asked.

His eyebrows pulled together, "We are married, Emma, there is nothing illegal about us being in the same house alone," He added, again mocking.

If I wasn't tired, my knife would be meeting his skin now, but I decided to ignore his tone and just warn him about it later. I let out a low sigh and nodded my head, agreeing and not caring, "Whatever."

**************

Roman's POV

I keep trying to trigger her. If you ever told me I would go out of my way to trigger the crazy Emma on purpose, I would've laughed in your face. But, this seems like the only way I'd bring her back to her old self.

She is almost the same. Almost. She is just more silent, less reactive and expressionless all the damn time. Fuck it, but I hate it. I'd rather have her and her knives than all of this. Beside that little moment at the hospital where she threatened to kill me, she just kept ignoring every other comment I threw her way.

When we arrived to my apartment, she aimlessly headed for the bedroom and laid over the bed, the medicines she took draining her energy away along with everything else. I ordered her some food, asked her to eat and decided to keep her alone as I took care of other things.

When I walked back into the room, I expected to see her fast asleep, but she wasn't, and the food was still untouched. I inched closer and sat down by her side, she had her back resting over the headboard, staring the tv's screen where some cartoon played with a very low volume.

"Why didn't you eat?" I asked and she just ignored me.

Sighing, I took the tray with the soup bowl and placed it beside her, "Emma," I said, urging her to look at me, but she still didn't. I knew I am risking my life when I did what I did next but if that can get me a reaction from her, let it be. I inched closer, my arm going around her body and pulling her to my side....and she didn't even budge.

Fuck.

"Can you at least just eat," I asked, "You need to take the medicine the doctor prescribed," Now that she was so close to me, I took the spoon and inched it to her lips, "Come on, it's just soup," I urged, "Just open your mouth, please."

She didn't fight back, she just parted her lips and allowed me to feed her, one spoonful at a time. Her eyes drifted to me, silently looked into my eyes as I took the napkin to wipe the corner of her mouth. I placed it away and brushed her hair away, tucking it behind her ear and again...she simply just let me.

"Did you ever forgive me?" She asked, out of the blue, "For what I did to you?"

My eyebrows pulled closer, talking about this was the least of my concerns at the moment, "I don't think about that anymore, Emma."

"You didn't answer my question," She insisted again.

"Like I said, I don't think about it anymore," I stressed out again.

She stared at me for a long second, as if trying to figure something out, "I think I never said this before," She mumbled, her voice lower than usual, her eyes less alive, tired, just tired, "But, I am sorry."

I tried to hide my shock but couldn't. She inched her hand to my face, her fingers brushed my cheek before she edged forward a fraction and left a small light kiss over my lips, barely a brush even, "You didn't deserve any of that," She whispered and I didn't understand what exactly is it that she thought I didn't deserve.

She retreated her hand back and pulled away from me, "Our marriage didn't serve its purpose," She said, her tone getting more serious, her dazed eyes on mine, "Isaac isn't the least threatened by it, and the reason that previously bound us together is...gone," Her throat bobbed, "Once we arrive to London, I want a divorce and each can go his own way after."

She left her words end there before she pulled away and rested her head over the pillow, her back to me, her words strict, not a suggestion, not a request, just something that should be done from her perspective.

I stared at her back for a long moment, unable to understand the sudden coldness that erupted all over my chest.

For god's sake, I hated this fiasco we had going on more than anything. I wanted it to end, badly. I thought I had enough of her, enough of our usual fights, enough of pretending to love her in front of the rest...or was it not pretending anymore?

My jaw clenched too tight, fighting against every feeling I didn't want to have. I inched closer and pulled the blanket over her body before I pressed a small kiss to her temple, agreeing, because that was the plan all along, "As you want."

**************

Natalie's POV

This man will be the end of me.

One moment he is all caring, the other he is grumpy and a big jerk. He wanted to come to the hospital with me, see, so sweet and caring. But, from the moment we got into the car till now, he's been having one phone call after another, each one either gets him angry or transfers to the whole other Nikolas...he didn't give me attention; see, grumpy and jerk.

Shit, look at me becoming so needy and clingy for him on the first day.

Once he ended up his last call, my hand shot out and snatched the phone from his grip, "That's enough work for now," I stressed out, pushing his phone into my purse. He stared back at me in pure disbelief and before he could object, I shook my head, strictly, "If you take it back, then leave, I don't want you to be here."

Sighing, he just nodded his head. Look at us having the typical couples fights since day one. The thought had me smiling; we are a couple now for god's sake! It still feels too surreal, like one second he will just tell me it's a joke and walk away, but I could see it in his eyes, he somehow likes this too, in his own weird way.

The nurse walked into the waiting area and announced that we can go into dad's room now. I got up to my feet and so did Nikolas.

I felt his hand brush mine before his big warm one engulfed mine, holding it as we walked down the corridor. Every time I come here, I get nervous, and I wondered if he sensed it. My heart lurched in my chest at the thought and I looked up at him, wholeheartedly smiling; see, again sweet and caring.

His eyes met mine and he questioned, "What?"

I shook my head, "I just like it when you become all mushy with me."

"Say that word one more time and I will never do it ever again," He warned, not satisfied and I shot him a glare, "You can't help but ruin the moment, can you?" My eyebrow raised, "FYI, you are failing the boyfriend test so far."

"Hey!" He whined, "It's still day one."

I shrugged, teasing him, "Well, you gonna need to do something, fix this or you're losing."

He sighed, "Well, you're coming out with me tonight," He said, sorry, he ordered, not asked, no, ordered. The nerve...

"No, I am not, I have other plans," I said, both telling the truth but also loving our little banters.

He paused in his steps, his dissatisfied gaze on me, "What plans?"

"Remember Sarah, the receptionist at the building where my office is," I asked and he nodded, "Well, she invited me to have dinner tonight with her husband and brother," My eyebrow raised, "You met her brother actually, remember Malcolm from the restaurant?"

His jaw ticked, "Yeah, I remember Mr. friend of yours," He mumbled, rather disgusted by the mention of him.

I fought my smile, "Yeah, so, I can't go out with you tonight, sorry."

He raked his hand through his hair, "Then, I will go with you," Again, ordering not asking.

My eyebrow raised, "No, you're not."

His eyes widened the slightest, "Natalie, don't mess with me," He grated out, seriously getting angry now but I wasn't going to let him win this, "No," I shrugged my shoulders, "Ask nicely."

Oh god, I am really testing his patience.

He had that look in his eyes again, the you-are-too-cute-to-be-killed look. His gaze drifted away, regaining his calmness before he faced me, "The dinner...can I go or whatever?"

I chuckled at his way of asking and I nodded, "Okay, you can."

I inched closer, my hand going to his arm, "Now, kiss me," I said and he shook his head, "No," He said and my eyes widened. The audacity of this grumpy human.

He gave me a knowing look, a one that said two can play this game.

I gaped at him in disbelief as he circled his hand over my wrist and pulled me to the room. Unbelievable. He really isn't an easy piece of cake. A very yummy one, but definitely not easy.

Every other thought disappeared. My stomach churned with that nervous disappointment when we walked into the room and my eyes fell onto my dad. He was laying there, as usual, his eyes opened, hazy and dazed, looking at the window but not once moving from that point.

My chest tightened, with every time I come here, I feel like he aged ten years.

I gulped down and sat down by his side, my hand rested over his arm, hoping that one time, I will get a reaction, "Hey dad," I whispered and again, nothing. His eyes didn't move from what they're staring at, he just stared there and blinked, that's all. I leaned down and pressed a kiss to his head, "I missed you," I added, weakly, hoping somehow deep down, he is hearing me.

I felt Nikolas's hand press over my shoulder, it gently squeezed, reminding me this is the first time I am not alone here. My gaze lifted up to him and he just gave me a reassuring nod, understatement flashing in his eyes, almost as if he can sense how I feel, how painful it is and I think for someone who felt so much of that, he can recognize pain very well.

I didn't want this to be another sob session for me, so I turned back toward my dad and a small smile lifted up my lips, "This time I didn't come alone," I said, "So, I kind of met this guy, and he kind of had me crushing on him a lot," I added, my tone playful, "But I have a feeling you would've not liked him a t first," I looked back at Nikolas and my hand rested over his, "But you would've liked him hell lot later because I really do."

He returned my words with a smile that calmed down my inside, his eyes drifting to my dad as he talked with him as well, "Don't worry, she is in safe hands."

I breathed, in and out, "So, no more of the usual speech of you ruining what you touch?"

He shook his head, "No, because I won't allow that to happen anymore," He said, ever so sure.

I smiled, "I like it when you believe in yourself," I said and he nodded, "There is someone to thank for that," He settled down beside me and my eyebrow raised, "Who is that someone?"

He shrugged, his eyes on my dad, "Someone who is utterly annoying," He started, explaining me to him, "But also gets me..." He cleared his throat, hating his next words, "Mushy and whatnot."

I chuckled and leaned into him, talking with dad as I added, "See, how can I not like him?"

The rest of our visit was better than any other time I came here, I didn't spend it crying and sobbing. But just as every time, I left with a rock lodging my throat at the fact that he still shows no reaction, no responses...but still, there is hope. One day. Hopefully, one day.

Nikolas dropped me off at my place after and went to get his things done before our dinner tonight. He left me with one hell of a kiss that shook me down to the core, a little more possessive than usual, especially after the mention that Malcolm will be there tonight.

The girly part of me liked that he gets territorial when it comes to me, because I feel I would be extra jealous if I see some woman look at him the wrong way, and the worst part is, with looks like his, I think most of them do.

It wasn't till after an hour that I went through my purse to pull my charger out that I saw his phone was still with me. Oh shit. The screen flashed with more than ten missed calls and messages. God, he is really a busy man.

Did he not notice it either or maybe he just thought he can take it back when he comes to pick me up for dinner. Sighing, I changed my clothes, grabbed my keys and the phone before I hopped into my car. Knowing the life he lives, any phone call from these could be a life or death situation.

After staying with him for sometime, I had his house's address memorized by heart. It was a bit long but an easy drive to get there. Parking my car, I headed for the elevator and to his floor. Standing by the door, I rang the bell, waiting for my grumpy handsome man to appear behind it.

A few seconds in, I heard some shuffling noises from inside but no one answered. I knocked again and this time, the door opened, slightly at first, and behind it wasn't Nikolas for sure, but...some girl.

My eyes fell into her brown one, mine just as confused a hers.

"Hello, how can I help you?" She asked, her voice low, a bit shy, her hands tightly wrapped around the door, as if ready to shut it close immediately if anything happens.

"Uh, is...uh," My eyes flickered behind her, hoping I would see him there or something, "Is Nikolas here?"

She shook her head, "No, he left like fifteen minutes ago," She answered.

My eyebrows pulled closer, my fingers involuntary tightening over the phone, "Who are you?" I couldn't stop myself form asking.

Please, let her be another sister, please let her be another sister...

"I am Mia."

And?

"And you are?"

She gulped down, hesitant, as if not knowing how to answer that, her hands over the door tightened before she finally decided to drop the fucking bomb on me, "I am his fiancé."

************************************

Hey! Sorry, for being a bit late again, but it kinda is a long chapter, so, I hope you enjoyed it!!

What's your thoughts? About Nik and Natalie starting something? Emma and Roman getting a divorce? Mia appearing and ruining it all lmao xD ?

We will be seeing both lovey-dovey Nik, but also very soon, the old Nik will show up again, you know in order to get things right again *winks*

Are you ready for him to take a lesson or two from the monster and bend his morals again? xD

See ya next chapter! I promise to make it sooner *crosses fingers*

Love ya all!