"You know they're gonna use the things you love against you."

*************

Natalie's POV

I could see the heartbreak wrap up with the shock in his gaze and I wanted to cry and just cry till no tears will be left...but I held myself back.

"What do you mean?" The words left him as a mere whisper and I wanted to step forward and wrap him up in my embrace, I wanted to tell him that I don't want this either, that just last night I slept in your arms and realized just how intense my feelings for you are.

I wanted to tell him that I am falling for him, faster than the speed of light, but instead, "It's better if we break up, Nikolas," The words left my mouth with so much certainty that split my heart into half.

"But," He tried to say, lines etched between his forehead as he took a step closer. I involuntarily took one backward, scared of his closeness and what it could do to me, "But we didn't even talk about what happened, Natalie."

I shook my head, "There is nothing to talk about," I mumbled, "There will always be lies with you, there will always be things hidden, questions I can't ask, places I can't go, things I can't touch and...and I can't carry on with that anymore," No, no, I want to, I want to carry on, I want to slowly take my time, I know you're trying and one day soon you will show me every side you have, you will let me into places you didn't let anyone in before, I know you're feeling it too, I know...and I promised you I will be strong for this but this is not about me anymore, Nikolas. It's not.

A hundred differed words clogged my throat and I drifted my gaze away from him, knowing if I stared any longer I would break down and tell him everything, "Please, leave," I requested, a plea in my tone that I hoped he'd hear, that he'd dig more and realize how I wouldn't purposely hurt him like this. I wanted him to know but also...I couldn't let him know.

He didn't move yet and I let my eyes meet his again, those beautiful eyes...is this how I will remember them? Hurt and lost. Emotions like this weren't things he could handle, he wouldn't know how to deal or cope with them, I know him by now but I also don't know him. There is a lot I don't know and I allowed the logic to make the decision for me this time, maybe it will feel a bit easier if I let my mind think and not my heart. Maybe this is for the best.

We both knew one day this was coming so maybe it's better to end it now when we are at the beginning of the road still, maybe it will hurt less, maybe he could always stay as this beautiful little moment in my life that stole my breath away.

He claims he is a monster, but how could a monster look at me this way? How could a monster be so soft and tender in the way he held me last night, like he wanted to take all of my pain away? Maybe he is a monster outside that door, but he would've never been that with me.

Based on what happened today, I am more than sure that he needs to be a monster in his life in order to survive. I would only hold him back. This is for the best. It's for the best.

I kept chanting that in my head, trying to look at the glass half-full that I didn't realize how he stepped forward to me, "Natalie," He said, an edge in his tone that is begging me to just listen before I go on making any irrational decisions. The second his hand touched my arm, I pulled away, almost flinching. Startled by my reaction toward his gentle touch, he edged backward.

"Please, Nikolas," I grated out of my strained throat, I was seconds away from crying my heart out, "Just leave, and if you actually cared for me, don't ever come back here again." Don't try, don't fight for this, you will only hurt us both.

Maybe that was all he needed to let go. The muscles of his jaw worked, his throat bobbed heavily and his eyes left mine, turning his back as he headed for the door. He stepped outside, a second of hesitation passed over him, I could see it as he paused to a stop, almost as if wanting to turn back and refuse this, demand an explanation but he didn't. Instead, he slammed the door shut behind him, leaving as I fell onto the couch.

Tears rushed with full force, washing down my face and I placed my head in my hands, sniffling and letting it all out. Yesterday and today finally serving their purpose of bringing me further and further down. I struggled to my feet and headed for the window, my eyes on him as he got into his car. He didn't drive right away. He waited and I wanted to know what he is thinking. Would he choose anger, would he choose to hate me to make this easier? Or would he let himself just feel the pain and move on?

Right at that moment, the phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out, my gaze blurry as I tried to read the few words written in the new text message, "You made the right decision, kid. Have a good life."

Four hours ago...

I rested my hand over dad's, squeezing at it gently and he turned to look at me. The doctor said he is getting better, more responsive to his surroundings, more aware as his consciousness fought its way to the surface.

I offered him a smile and I could see his face relax, maybe he knows who I am, maybe he doesn't; whatever it is, I felt familiar to him and that calmed both him and me down.

"Your stupid son came back," I mumbled, that ache creeping its way up my chest, burning at the muscle beating there, "Don't worry, if I see him again, I will make sure to kick his ass some more." The slap was barely enough, there is so much anger left in me toward him, so many curses I want to spit into his face. So many questions of why would he do this; why would he leave us to...to join whatever this thing he joined is?

My jaw tightened; my grumpy boyfriend didn't even care to give me that information before. It was obvious he knew him, and he knew he was my brother. Alex knew Ronald too. It was insane. I didn't want to deal with it yesterday, I didn't want to sink into that hole and end up fighting with Nikolas over no one other than Ronald himself. To be honest, deep down I am glad he didn't tell me about him before, I was better off thinking that he died or something.

I gave myself some space, I had the whole day to think and try to compose my thoughts so I can deal with this the healthy way without throwing Nik under the bus due to my family issues, "I still don't understand why he left us for that, dad," I mumbled, still hurt even after all those years, because this thing that he did was not him. He wouldn't walk away from me, I was his best friend, not just his sister. He wouldn't walk out on our sick father, but he did and the man I saw last night looked nothing like my brother.

Maybe I was right, after all, my brother did die, and in his place came someone totally unrecognizable.

How many people did he hurt over the years, how many people did he...kill?

I shook the thought away and chatted with dad some more. Feeling like he had enough of me and was ready to drift off to sleep, I inched closer and pressed a kiss over his cheek. When I backed away, the corner of his lips twitched, very slightly but I caught it as he smiled, a very faint one but it was there nevertheless.

My heart calmed down after such a stressful day and my head tilted to the side, "I love you so much," I mumbled, "We did well without him all these years, we will just continue to do that, right," I added, brushing his hair away from his forehead and fixing it as he fell into his deep sleep.

I stood up, getting my purse and fixing my coat, ready to get out when the door opened. I expected it to be the doctor, one of the nurses, or just anyone...anyone but this. My eyes widened as they recognized the man who stepped inside. Involuntarily, I took a step backward, my knees hitting the bed, "What are you...what are you doing here?"

His eyes were nothing like Nikolas's eyes, these were earthly brown and dark. In Nik's eyes, I could clearly see the tangled mess wrapping and unraveling within him but this man, he looked totally sane. One look at his face and I can say, he isn't broken like my Nik, he is not to be treated or taught how to deal with his issues; he has no issues, he is just pure evil at heart, which makes him the more dangerous.

"Natalie," He said my name, so effortlessly and that darkness in his eyes slowly started to fade away, making them almost soft the longer he gazed at me, "I always thought if we'd ever meet, it wouldn't be under such circumstances."

My eyebrows pulled closer at his words, at the small smile lifting his lips up. He is talking like he knows me, like he's known me before, "What?" I shot out, trying to stand my ground and I took a few steps forward, "Why are you here?" I added, my jaw tightening and my hand curling into a fist at the side, "What do you want from me?"

He inched closer and I gulped down, "If you get any closer, I will scream and make the whole hospital come here!" I warned, raising my hand and stopping him from crossing his limit.

His smile only grew wider, it wasn't evil or anything, more like amused, and I was wrong before, if you put the eyes aside, there is so much of Nik in this man, "Sweetie, I own this place," He said and my eyes grew wider, understanding nothing, "What?" I breathed out, shocked and he waved his hand in the air like it's not important, "Come on, you thought insurance will cover almost all of your father's treatment for all these years," He added, his eyebrow raising as he nodded his head behind me and toward my dad.

What?

He sighed, "It doesn't matter though, I promised your mother that I will make sure everything will be okay," He added, his eyes on my father as he added with a monotonous tone, "Even when I didn't like the man that much."

"What are you saying?" I shot out, my heart erratic, the panic creeping under my skin, "How do you know my mom?"

His smile was so tender and I wanted to slap myself for thinking how it's so much similar to Nikolas's rare smiles, "You look so much like her, it's insane," He said, his voice low, thinking out loud and my eyes grew even wider, unable to make sense of anything happening at the moment, "Except the hair," He pointed at my head, a low chuckle parting his throat.

If I didn't previously know that this man is evil, rotten, and downright the worst human I've got to hear about, I would've thought he is just trying to make normal conversation with me.

"What do you want?"

"Is that why you dye your hair?" He added, ignoring my question, tilting his head to the side, gazing at me as if he knows me, "It never crossed my mind before, but it must be hard to look at the mirror and see her," He added, his tone turning to one with genuine worry and care. I only stared back at him in utter shock, unable to comprehend how he got me all figured out in a span of minutes only.

"Stop talking about my mother like you know her," I added, feeling the four walls of the hospital room close up at me under the aggression of all that's I am discovering lately.

"I did, but I am not here to reminisce the past," He said, clearing his throat and his expression turned more serious, "I am here to ask one thing from you, since my son is so thick-headed, it falls on you now to break it up."

My eyebrow raised, "Break it up?" I repeated his words with a scoff. Who does he think of himself?

"Natalie, I could now tell you one thing, one sentence, three or fours words and you will leave him on your own, but I can see that you're fond of him for some reason, so telling you the truth will only hurt you," He stepped forward, "And I really really don't want to hurt you," He shook his head, "So I will have to take different measures over here," He said, "I will protect you from that truth for now even though it's my guarantee ticket to get you as far as possible from him, and I will tell you one thing only."

"You either leave Nikolas or else-" His gaze drifted to my father behind me and he smiled, "I don't need to say more, do I?"

My eyes widened at the implication behind his words, "You wouldn't dare-" I started to say, taking a step back toward dad, terrified of his intentions.

He shrugged, "My promise never included him," He said and I didn't understand, "It was a good gesture at my side to keep him safe as well but at the end of the day, he is the only piece on this board that I can," His eyes went back to me, so dangerous and promising, "Throw away."

"If you dare come near my father, I will-" I started to say, my voice rising, and right at that moment, two men walked into the room and were heading right toward the bed. My eyes widened and I pushed myself back, plastering myself against dad, and opened my arms, shielding him, as if my body could protect him from whatever they are planning, "Stay away from him!" I snapped.

Isaac held a hand, a small gesture and they stopped, paused in their movement, and listened to him. He moved forward, his stance so confident, like he owned the whole world, like we were just puppets designed for his very own purposes. He was something else entirely. His gaze unwavering, his eyes full of experience and some much ruthlessness but at the same time so very aware of every step he was making, so calculative, so smart, and the worst part of it all, so very sane, no monsters fighting and struggling within him. No motive, almost as if he is doing all of this for his own entertainment; his very own live tv show; he is both the host and the guest, and we are just the audience.

"Nikolas will kill you," I stressed out, not cowering away from him.

Isaac smiled, "So innocent," He said, "Part of why you should stay far away from him," He added, "It's your decision, kid, you can go and tell Nikolas all of this and risk daddy's life," He meant every word, "You've seen what I can do up close, I won't hesitate, Nikolas isn't strong enough to stop me," He added, "Or you can go, break it up and make sure your dad lives to see another day, and maybe see you grow up some more and who knows, maybe witness you get married to someone...normal, one day."

"Why are you doing this?"

"I told you, I am protecting you from things you have no idea about," He answered.

I scoffed and grated out through clenched teeth, "For someone who just threatened to kill my own father, you sure have a messed up definition of what it means to protect someone!"

"Believe me, you have no idea what insanity awaits for you if you keep going down that road," He said, "Nikolas will never be good enough for you," He added, his eyebrow raising, "Your mother would be so disappointed, she didn't do all she did so you would go into the same place she ran away from."

"What do you mean?! How do you know her?" I screamed. He was driving me insane with his words. I was going mad; first Ronald and now this...what is happening?

"It doesn't matter now, you have a decision to make," He said, a hint of threat behind each letter, proving just how committed to this he is.

"You just want Nikolas to be alone," Maybe he was in control and totally sane in that aspect, but he was one sick son of a bitch. Pure evil.

He shrugged, not caring to even deny it, "Two birds, one stone," He commented in delight.

He motioned for the two men to step outside, "Also, don't try to play this smart, I have eyes and ears everywhere," He added, turning around to leave, "Take the right decision, Natalie."

**************

Present

The only thing that pulled me out of my thoughts was the ringing of the doorbell. My eyes widened, they flickered outside to see that Nikolas's car had disappeared from there. Gulping down, I moved on hesitant terrified steps, my fingers shaking as I twisted the knob and opened it up.

All of my fears faded into nothingness and the anger rushed with full force when my eyes met his blue ones, just like mine, same color, same shape, same everything. My jaw ticked and I pushed the door shut, wanting to slam it in his face but he blocked it with his feet, his hand on the edge as he pushed it open again, so effortlessly as he barged inside.

"Get out!" I snapped, my hand on his arms and pushing him away, "Get out of my house!"

He didn't budge as he slammed the main door shut, his hands going to mine and stopping me from going bash crazy on him again, "Leave, you asshole, leave, I don't want to see you-"

"Nate-"

"Leave, I said!"

"I will, but just listen to me!" He shot out, his voice rising impatiently, his eyes darkening with similar rage, as if he has the right to be angry.

"I really regret sharing a womb with you," I grumbled out, crossing my arms over my chest and he looked back at me, totally unfazed, almost like he didn't care, like he didn't want to care that he is here, beside me, this close to me after so many years. Useless asshole.

"I will say one thing and you will listen to me," He started, so strict and I rolled my eyes, ready to punch him some more, "You will stay the hell away from Nikolas, you get that?"

Huh, so everyone's mission for the day is to make sure Nikolas and I break up, how sweet and convenient of them...

"Let me get this straight," I said, narrowing my eyes on him, reflecting all of my frustration into this useless human, "You disappear, for like what eight...nine years," I really lost count, "Then, you are on my doorstep and the first thing you say, no sorry the first thing you order me to do is break up with my boyfriend," I felt a bitter taste in my mouth when I realized that he no longer is my...anything, but I wasn't going to fill into Ronald's desires now and inform him that.

"You really have some nerve," I grated out through clenched teeth, unable to handle him and his presence anymore, "You didn't even...you didn't care to give me an explanation, to say sorry," My voice raised and his expression shifted as I pushed at his chest, "Leave my house, I don't want to see you ever again, get out, now, get out!"

I was panting as I kept pushing him to go and leave me alone, I still need to drink in the feedback of losing Nikolas, I still need to understand what is happening in my life, how did Isaac know my mother...too many questions and not one clear answer, I am gonna lose my mind.

His back collided with the door and he let me punch him as I pleased, he let me scream at him some more, "I hate you, you have no idea how much I hate you," I breathed out, my voice strained with my tears and pain.

"I know," Was all he said, "You can hate me all you want, Natalie," He just accepted it, "But staying with Nikolas is not something I can tolerate."

I looked at him, glaring, wanting to rip him apart, "It's not up to you, I could care less of what you tolerate," I shot out, "Don't interfere in my life and my relationships like you have the right to!"

"You don't have any idea how dangerous he is, Natalie!" He snapped back.

I nodded, "I do, I know, he didn't hide that from me, I know it all," I shot back and Ronald's eyes fired up, "And you just walked into there so stupidly even after knowing?"

"Maybe I am following into my brother's footsteps, huh," I said in mockery and he didn't look very content with my comment.

"I could understand Nikolas's part, he was born into that life, he didn't have a choice, but..." My eyebrows pulled closer, "What about you?" I asked, hitting a nerve, "What's your excuse to become one of them, to be a...killer?"

"Maybe I was born into it too," He shot back in mockery and I just hated him more, "You can't be my brother, you are this whole different person," I could see it in his eyes, on his face, on his hands that are tainted, "Mom and dad would be so disappointed in you."

My words were like a slap to his face, they almost broke down that facade he is trying to pull on me. The careless, unfazed and cold one, as if I am stupid and would buy into it. I can see it, he is also one step away from breaking down all over the place, and my heart ached, ached for every moment he was alone and away, for every time he needed me and I wasn't there, but...it was his decision to do this, to be alone and he needs to pay the price for it.

I fought for him long enough, I am not fighting anymore.

"Leave my house, Ronald, and don't you dare come back here again," I stressed out, "You have no right to tell me anything or prevent me from seeing anyone, stay away from me and from dad," I added, "I considered you dead years ago, so let's just keep doing that."

"Nikolas will hurt you-" He tried to reason with me and I shook my head, "He wouldn't," I miss him already, "I trust him, but I don't trust you, so just leave and mind your own business." Leave so I can have time to break down and then move on.

My message was loud and clear, and he knew he can't change my mind, so he opened the door and left. I closed it shut, locked it from the inside before I rested my back over it. I let my eyelids drop down and felt the gravity of today pull me down into the ground.

I sat there, with no tears yet as I allowed myself to feel the pain. Heartbreak is almost inevitable in every relationship. It will pass, I know that it will. One day soon, it won't hurt as much. But, one thing for sure, I don't think anyone will come after and make me feel the intensity of what Nikolas made me feel in such a short time. It's a once-in-a-lifetime kind of thing.

No one will speak so little but take so much, like he did. No one will be so gloomy and grumpy yet take my breath away with a simple thing as a smile.

I placed my fingers over my mouth, tracing my lips and imagining what happened just last night and the night before, his lips, his touch, and just everything about him is consuming. He is lethal, he will bury himself deep down under your skin, making sure it will never be easy to let go of him.

Massie settled down beside me on the floor, rubbing her head all over my leg and I grabbed her into my embrace, "Looks like it's just you and me again," I mumbled, the tears coming back as I buried my face into her soft fur, "I think this is how it'll always be."

Alone and on my own. I was so used to that and like I got myself used to Nik's presence, I will just get myself used to his absence as well.

Simple, right? So simple...

************

Emma's POV

"Hey," I said, my tone strangely cheerful as I got into the car and pressed a kiss over Roman's cheek before I placed my jacket in the backseat, settled down, and buckled my seatbelt.

I felt his eyes on me still, I fixed my skirt and turned around to face him. His eyebrows pulled closer, "Are you okay?" He questioned, totally lost, considering when he dropped me two hours ago, I could barely force on a smile.

I smiled and nodded, "Yeah, why?"

He gazed at me for a long second before he shook his head, his expression relaxing as the corner of his lips pulled up slightly, "Nothing," He mumbled and my eyes fell into the box of doughnuts beside me, "Ahh, you brought me doughnuts, didn't you," I almost squealed as I opened the box, "Did you get my favo-" I started to say, "Ah, yes, here it is!" I pulled the one covered with the Lotus crumbs and took my first bite, "I swear sometimes when you are not a total pain in the ass, you are like the best husband ever."

I munched on my treat, enjoying all the sweetness. Lost in my food, it took me a couple of seconds to realize that he still hasn't driven off. I turned to him, my mouth full, "If you keep staring at me like that, I am gonna have to pull my knife out and show you how big of a pain in the ass you are now," I threatened, raising an eyebrow and his smile widened, his eyes going back to the road as he took off, "And she's back, ladies and gentlemen."

I narrowed my eyes at him but was too occupied with my sugar-high to care for his idiotic behaviors, "How long do you plan on staying here?" He asked, just curious and I shrugged, "As long as it takes, I gotta see what Nik is planning to do these days," I added, taking my last bite before I looked at the mirror and wiped at my mouth.

"Do you know what I miss?" I said with a dreamy sigh, "I miss killing people, the normal way I mean, you know the whole shooting puppies in the streets ordeal," I recalled his previous mockery words, "The whole watching some people burn and bleed out, then going back home, eating some doughnuts, drinking some wine and having sex," I added, shrugging, "The order is not important by the way, we can start by the sex part."

"You really know how to charm a guy, Emma," He added, ever so sarcastically, proving just how much he missed my knives.

A smirk pulled up at my lips as I leaned closer to him, my lips on his cheek pressed an innocent kiss before they trailed down to the corner of his mouth, my hand that I rested over his chest, I let it innocently drop down till it reached his pants, going for my target, "Emma-" He started to say.

"Shush," I mumbled against his skin, my lips moving from his chin to his neck, trailing kisses before I bit at his skin, my hand brushing over his arousal in the most gentle innocent way I could, "Always ready for my touch," I mumbled against his skin, "Or did the puppy killing topic get you so hard?"

A throaty groan left his mouth, "You're crazy," He said, an edge in his tone.

I hummed, "You love me when I am crazy," The words left my mouth so effortlessly, like I believed them deep down as I continued to kiss him, my hand going to the zipper of his pants and pulling it down.

"That, I do," I felt the muscles of his jaw tightening under my lips.

He watched me as my head descended down, my hand fumbling with his pants, "What are you doing?" He breathed out, suppressing down his groan as I took him fully into my hand. A strained breath left my mouth as I stroked him and felt the ache deep between my legs.

"Giving you your birthday gift," I mumbled, squeezing my thighs together to stop myself from jumping over into his lap, "Keep driving," I breathed out before I went down and teased him some more, "Emma...Fuck," Roman hissed in pain, one hand on the steering wheel, the other fisted over my hair, pulling and guiding me through.

Not long after, I felt the car halt to a stop, I lifted my head up to see him parked a bit far away from everyone's sight. I licked my lips, my smile widened and the second I turned my gaze to him, his hand was on my arm, pulling me closer, "Come here, you little tempest," I immediately climbed from my seat and straddled his lap. His fingers wrapped over my hair, pulling my head back as he kissed my neck and my hand shot forward and carelessly unbuttoned his shirt.

In the heat of the moment, with his lips and mine never leaving each other, I didn't know how clothes were taken off, I discarded his shirt somewhere, he threw my blouse and bra into the back, but kept my skirt on, he lifted it up just enough to have access.

His hand moved to the seat's side, pressing something and abruptly moving the seat backward, giving us more space. The sudden movement had me gasping and I fell forward, crashing into his chest, "Idiot," I groaned. His hand landed on my ass, squeezing at my flesh, so hard as he murmured in my ear, "That's not a nice way to talk with your husband."

I pressed my palms over his shoulder, lifting my upper body up so I can meet his heated gaze, and my eyebrow raised, "Looks like my husband needs to learn how to have some control," I threatened and the corner of his lips curved up, all smug and teasing before his hands wrapped over my wrists, removing them from over him and he held them behind my back, "You had enough control for one day, wife," His fingers tightened over my wrists, preventing me from touching him, scratching him, pulling my knife out and killing him, "It's my turn now," He added as he buried his head forward into my neck, biting at the sensitive skin.

And without any warning, he positioned himself, his tip teasing at my entrance and I bit at my lower lip to stop myself from moaning out his name. The idiot. My crazy, captivating, idiotic husband, he was going to be my end. His mouth moved over my skin, kissing, biting, and doing everything I've missed, "You've driven me half mad, Emma," His voice came as a whisper as he pressed his lips on mine and at the same second, without any warning slammed into me, so hard and fast, I stopped breathing altogether.

I couldn't hold the scream that erupted from my mouth and I crashed forward into him, the oxygen left my lungs and he swallowed my cries with his mouth, "You've made me fall in love with you again," Tightening his hands over my wrists, he slowed his thrusts only for a second before he rammed into me again making me moan random incoherent words, cursing him a bit more and imagining what I wanted to do him after.

Even when I was on the top, he was in full control, tasting me, playing with me as he pleased and I wanted to stay here, with him, skin to skin, breath to breath, heartbeat to heartbeat...forever.

The whole world turned into a blur, no one else mattered, nothing did, it was just him and me again, like it was at the beginning; we'll go out kill some puppies and come back home to fuck like bunnies...see even Shakespeare can't write this crap up. It was our very own fucked up version of Romeo and Juliet. Both coming from families that despised one another, the blood in our veins didn't mix, it wasn't supposed to.

They wanted this though, to force us to unite in the name of linking everyone into one nation, as if we were born just for their sake and twisted desires. They made us live with that burden since day one, as if we are not humans...actually, it's true, we aren't. They made sure we are not. He and I, we are monsters in a way, we'd go outside and we'd do unspeakable things but when it comes to those close to us, we'll be soft.

For him, I am going soft and for me, he is the most tender human there is, he will take me into the shower and scrub the blood off both of our hands at the end of any battle. There is so much more to come, more massacres awaiting us, where blood will be shed, so much blood, I will just make sure none of it is ours.

In the end, I will drag Isaac off his throne and I will show him what a real leader is.

Roman let go of my wrists and I wrapped my arms around his neck, feeling him up close, my eyes on his, and I felt my heart jump out of the confines of my chest; he was my idiot husband, my own twisted fairytale that I will protect up till my last breath.

*************

Nikolas's POV

I tried not to think, but it's not as easy when you have a twisted mind like mine.

My brain loved the pain, it's almost like he is addicted to it; because whenever he found a chance, he took it and delved headfirst into all types of torturous thoughts. He twisted the past with the present, always showing me that whichever pain I am facing, deep down, I deserve it.

I rushed a hand over my face, trying to steer away from all of that. I don't want to think of what she said, of how I might never see her again, how I won't be able to feel her again, how when it feels too much, I can't just knock on her door, how if she ever needed me, I might not know and be there.

I felt fingers reach for my arm, soft and hesitant, shaking me out of my train of thoughts. I turned my head, my eyes falling on my mother, "Are you okay?" She asked, lines etching between her eyebrows as she gazed and assessed my face.

I nodded, my throat bobbing, "Yeah," I cleared my throat, trying to sound more convincing as I straightened myself in my seat, "Yeah, I am fine, it's nothing big." It was gonna happen anyway, sooner better than later.

A flash of understatement passed over her gaze, her hand moved from my arm, it went to my forehead, her fingers brushed the loosened hair strand away, caressing my skin as she said, "I always hoped that one day, this look in your eyes would go away," Worry had a frown pull up between her eyebrows, "But it never did."

A harsh breath pushed out of my lungs and I pressed my head back against the cushion, losing all of my energy again. My eyelids glided down, a bit tired and she brushed her fingers over my temple, besides my eyes and I mumbled, "I was going to die, why did you save me," I meant it, "It's was gonna be okay, I really wanted it so...why, why did you do that?"

She pulled her hand away from my face and I opened my eyes to meet hers, "How could you say that, Nikolas," She said, staring at me in disbelief, "I am okay with you hating me, with me living far away from you, I am even okay with you doing all terrible things outside but...but I am not okay with you...dying," Her tone became choked, redness in the white of her eyes as she fought. her tears, "So don't, don't ever say that again, please."

"You were offered a second chance-"

"But I don't deserve this chance," I shot out, interrupting her.

Her jaw tightened, trapping her anger at my attitude down, "Maybe you didn't but it happened anyway, Nik, so maybe there is a reason behind this, a purpose-"

"What?" I mocked, "Killing your husband?" I said, my eyebrow raising.

Her expression shifted and she nodded, "Maybe that, and maybe more."

I wasn't going to see reason now, so I was thankful for the bell ringing, giving me a chance to get up and away from her. I opened it, my eyes falling on Emma, my eyebrows pulled closer, "When did you get here?"

A smile spread over her lips, "Today," Her eyebrow raised teasingly, "Missed me?"

I inched closer, my arm going around her back, "How are you?" I asked, the worry evident in my tone as I tightened my hold around her. Hugging her is becoming more effortless each time, almost like an instinct.

She sighed and hugged me back, "I missed you too, big bro," She said, hinting that she understood what I didn't say out loud.

She pulled away, patting me on the back, "Anyways, I am back and very much ready to kill some son of bitches," She said enthusiastically, looking more like her old self as she walked into the house, "So, if you have anyone in mind, just tell me and...oh wow, I like this house more, good job you moved," She looked around, twirling and touching everything as she rambled on, "I took your new address from Alex by the way, I am hurt you didn't inform me," Her mocking tone showed that she is everything but hurt and why in god's name is Alex advertising my new address to just everyone.

"So, why did you move out, oh and also-" She paused in her words when her eyes fell on my mother sitting there on my very own couch. Emma whirled around, her wide eyes on me, "No wonder Alex was shit mad at you," She shot out in disbelief, "Are you insane? Do you want Isaac to just kill us?" She added before she looked back at my mother, giving her a very annoyed glare, "Yes offense, by the way."

I facepalmed, can just one person not insult the woman?

My mother got up to her feet, she ignored whatever Emma was hinting at and she walked closer to her, "I heard what happened, I am sorry for your loss, Emma," She said, genuinely, "This isn't the first time Isaac did something like this," My eyebrows pulled closer at her words and the meaning behind it, "And it won't be the last, so please, just be careful."

With that, she turned around, excusing herself, leaving us alone as she climbed up the stairs and to her room. Emma's confused shocked gaze flickered from my mother retreating back and to me, "Wow, I never understood this woman," She said.

I nodded and sat down again, "Believe me, me neither."

Emma slumped down beside me, "Doesn't it feel weird, like you are my brother and all, but we have different mothers," She pursed her lips, thinking out loud and I was too exhausted mentally to comment, "Imagine we had the same mother and father, and like normal people of course," She rolled her eyes, "Not these assholes of parents we have," She added, "You, me and Alex," She turned to me, her eyebrows pulling closer, "How insanely different things would've been, right?"

I shrugged and she smiled, liking the idea too much, "I would be the youngest, you all would spoil me," She let out a dreamy sigh and leaned into my arm, loving the thought, "Ah, if only!"

At my silence, she lifted her eyes to me, and they narrowed suspiciously, "Are you okay, or do you really not want to share the same parents with me?"

I shot her a glare, "I am fine."

She shook her head, "No, you are not, what happened?"

I didn't answer as I rushed a hand over my face before it went and gribbed at my hair and I knew she was gonna ask this next, "How is Natalie?"

My jaw tightened and I kept silent. She gave me a questioning look and I gave up, "We broke up...well, she did."

Emma shot forward in her seat, her eyes wide as she drank into the new information, "Do you want me to go and threaten her to get back to you, because I totally will, I won't harm her or anything but-" The next of her words came muffled as I pressed my hand over her mouth, shutting her up.

"My head hurts, so stop talking."

She shot me a glare and bit my hand, "Hey!" I groaned, pulling my hand away and rubbing it over her blouse to get rid of her saliva. She jumped up to her feet, "I know exactly what you need now, come on," She wrapped her hands over my arm and tried to pull me up, "Come on, we need to go to a bar and get wasted, come on!"

"Leave me alone," I grumbled, pulling my arm back.

"Nik, don't be a whiney kid and listen to your younger sister," She said, ever so seriously, "Especially when your younger sister has mad knife skills and could make you lose things attached to you that you probably care about."

My eyebrows pulled closer and she gave me a knowing look, "Wanna bet on it?" She challenged me and I gulped down, not willing to risk it as I got up to my feet, "Okay, okay," I grumbled in annoyance, "The one time I need Roman and he is not here," I mumbled under my breath. He could've taken her away from me but he just got himself promoted from useless to totally useless.

*************

"Drink it!" Emma shot out, sliding the fourth glass of bourbon over the table and right into my hand.

I shook my head, it was pounding already, "I told you that I hate to get drunk," I grumbled, rubbing at my eyes before I watched her take her like the seventh or eighth shot of tequila. I don't know, I stopped counting. She still looks totally normal and balanced though. She has some good alcohol tolerance I see.

She inched closer to my seat and threw her arm over my shoulder, "You know what else you need," She placed her hand over my cheek, forcing me to look away, "Ten o'clock, blonde chick over there, you need to go and get laid, take it from me, it will cleanse Natalie out of your system like this," She snapped her fingers.

She giggled after at her own words and I knew she was a gone case.

Hearing Natalie's name, I placed the glass's tip to my lips and gulped it all, letting it burn at my throat and Emma was already placing the fifth glass in my hand...such a good sister she is.

"Come on, go for it," She urged about the girl and I shook my head. She groaned, "Alex is more fun than you, do you know that," She added, the words slurring out of her mouth and when I finished my glass, I was seeing two of her...oh wait, three, "He and I would get drunk all the time," She pinched my cheek as she talked, "And we'd arrange the girls in the bar from biggest boobs to smallest," She added, giggling again.

"But he still wouldn't go and talk with them even when I push him to," She mumbled, playing with my ear now for some reason, "He was still so hung up on...Ca...Clara..Car...what was her name again," She giggled as she pulled at my ear, "Your ear is so funny," She laughed again, "So, back to our topic, when was the last time you got laid?"

I shot her a glare, "I'd rather not discuss my sex life with my younger sister," I grumbled out and I was already sipping on my eighth? no, wait, a something-th glass of alcohol. Emma nodded, "It's okay, I am cool, I've done it all," She giggles a lot, "Do you think I am a virgin or something?"

"Shut up, Emma, or I will push you off this stool," Or push the other three images of you I am seeing at the moment.

"Nik, Nicky, you need to loosen up and have some fun, how old are you, you ain't getting any younger, bro," She tugged at my ear and I pushed her hand away, shooting her a murderous glare.

I felt her hand in my hair as if searching for something, "I don't see any white hairs yet but you're quite old, right?" She mumbled, pulling at my hair and I groaned, "Leave my hair alone," I fixed it again where she ruined it, "And stop calling me old."

She laughed and rested her arms over the wooden table, before she leaned forward and pressed her head over them, gazing up at me with a lazy smile, "Do you love her?"

I swallowed past the burn in my throat, "I don't know," I mumbled.

"I think you do," She added, "Because you have that look in you eye," She raised her hand and poked my eye. I winced, "Oww..."She hurt me, "I saw it in Roman's eyes when he realized I was lying to him, my idiot husband," She added with a sad sigh, "He was heartbroken, like you now," Her lips formed a pout, "I don't deserve him, he is the best idiot in this world."

"Thank you for that," I heard Roman's amused voice before I saw him, he rested his hands over her shoulders and she whirled around, "Roman!" She said excitedly before she jumped off the stool and on him, "I missed you!"

He chuckled as he staggred backward, trying to contain her.

"How did you know I am here?" She asked while bombarding him with kisses.

His eyebrows pulled closer, "You called me to pick you up."

"I did?" She asked with a gasp and he nodded, securing his arm around her as she was swaying left and right, or maybe that's just my intoxicated eyesight.

"Let's go have sex," She said to him, way too loudly and I winced again, "Let's just leave before I hear more of this," I said, pushing whatever money was in my wallet toward the bartender as I got up. Roman watched me with a wary gaze, "Can you walk or should I hold you too?"

I shot him a glare, "Touch me and you're dead," I said before I headed outside, ignoring these two humans.

"He is grumpy because he didn't have sex in so long, don't mind him," I heard Emma say behind me before we reached the car.

I opened the backseat's door and slumped inside. I felt Emma push me away as she settled down beside me, "I will sit beside Nicky," She announced, so loud and I wanted to punch her for not giving me a second alone to breathe, "If you throw up on me, I will cut your thing and make sure you never have sex again, deal?"

I shot her a glare and rested the side of my head against the coldness of the window, letting Roman take us back home. Th car moved and I felt Emma move beside me and I kept pushing her away but she didn't budge.

"Oh my god Roman, I finally found my bra," She said, pulling something from under me. I stared back at her with a horrified expression, "I am scared, I wanna go home," I mumbled and Emma giggled again, throwing the...thing in her hand at Roman.

I was so out of it, that the rest of the drive was mostly a blur. All I remember after is entering my room and slumping over the bed. I remember as I unbuttoned my shirt, feeling the fire lick off under my skin. I remember pulling my phone and dialing her like the idiot I am.

I remember her soft voice as she answered, ever so sleepily, "Nikolas?"

"Natalie," I mumbled, closing my eyes, wishing she was here, my bed still smelled like her, the shirt she wore is still here. I could still feel her taste in my mouth, her soft skin under my fingertips, and just...everything about her, it was hunting me and ripping my chest apart.

"Why are you calling me at this time," She mumbled and I pulled the phone to read the numbers but failed, it was so blurry, maybe it was three in the morning or something, "Are you okay?"

I smiled at the bit of worry in her voice, "No," I whispered out, "I want you here."

"Nik...Nikolas," She corrected herself, "We talked about this, okay," Her voice was low and hesitant, "You can't call me again, please, you will only make this harder on us."

"You didn't mean it, I know," I mumbled, "I just don't know what is making you say this, but I know that you don't mean any of it."

There was a moment of silence between us, "But it's okay, it was gonna happen anyway, right," I added.

"Right," She whispered.

"At least you don't hate me now, do you?" I asked.

"No," She said, "I can't hate you, Nikolas."

I smiled again, "Cool," I said, "So no more three Ns, huh?"

"Are you drunk again?" I heard the smile in her voice.

"Kind of," I answered.

"Don't go and have a rebound immediately, I wont forgive you," She said, half serious, half joking.

"It's not possible," I assured her.

"Good."

"Nate," I said and she hummed, "Have a good life, okay...be happy," I said, "And if Ronald does something, tell me, I will kill him, I am already dying to do it."

She chuckled, "Okay."

"Also, if you date that Malcolm guy after me, I will kill him too."

"Are you gonna kill anyone I'll go out with?"

I nodded, "Yes," I said, "I will make it look like an accident, don't worry."

"Sure, sure," She said, her tone so different, lighter and happier as the conversation went on, "I better swear off men for now, can't have a massacre with my name on it."

I nodded, "Exactly."

There was a short pause before she said, more seriously now, "It's for the best, Nikolas."

"Maybe," I mumbled, "At least I don't have to tolerate that little monster in your house anymore."

She chuckled, "Go to sleep, Nik."

"I will."

"Dont dream about me," She added.

"I can't promise," I mumbled, my fingers moving over the material of the shirt she was wearing.

"Goodbye, my grumpy baby," She said, a little lower and more sad than ever.

"Goodbye," My beautiful delicate girl.

*************************************

I feel like I am updating so frequent these days, just don't get used to it, I'll go back to work on Monday, so we'll back to our original once-a-week-update schedule xD

What do you think of the chapter? Emma and Roman's relationship is blooming while Nik and Nate's is ending, poor little things.

Anyway, this was a lighter chapter, before shit hits the fan in the next ones ;)

See you in Blue Ribbon next time!

Don't forget to leave your opinion.

Love y'all <3