"Have you ever seen the hell in someone's eyes and loved it anyway."

*************

Nikolas's POV

The world was always a blur of colors and sounds to me, a whirlwind of chaos and confusion. It was a symphony of noise, a cacophony of clashing voices, each clamoring for attention and recognition.

Until recently, until a certain woman walked into my life, or maybe I am the one who barged into hers like a raging storm, carrying with me a vortex of trouble and darkness that keeps threatening to drown us both. My problems were like a hurricane, tearing through everything in my path and leaving a trail of destruction in their wake. But Natalie, she stood and is still standing strong by my side, a steady rock in the midst of the swirling sea, weathering this heavy storm with me.

I leaned against the doorframe and watched her up close, delighted at how happy and giddy she seemed to be as she played and talked with Nathan. Everything else faded away in her presence. The noise of the world fell to a hush, and the colors of it dimmed until there was only her, and the light she had brought into my grim world.

I knew that she was the one missing piece of my puzzle, the one that completed me in a way that I had never known was possible. Her beauty and delicateness were like a beacon, guiding me through the storm, and leading me to a place of peace and serenity.

Nathan smiled at something she said and her expression involuntarily shifted into a somber one, her head tilted slightly and she gazed at him with a longing look, like she wished she could turn back time, that she could change fate and not have their family break apart the way they did. Many thoughts clouded her mind, strong waves clashing together into the silent ocean of her eyes, saddening them with what could've been and what she won't be able to get back.

She shook her head, pushing the sadness away and her lips tilted up into a smile, her eyes misty with a hundred different emotions as she brought her hand up, brushing the few strands of his hair away, tenderly caressing his cheek as she resumed talking with him, deciding to focus on the present and on the fact that he is right here, with her, safe and alive.

The sound of the bell ringing had Natalie's eyes drift up, away from the kid and to me, her eyebrows slightly pulled closer, questioning who'd come here when no one knew that here even existed. I gave her an assuring nod that it was nothing important. I walked out of the room and toward the door. I opened it and my eyes fell on Ronald...like I said, nothing important.

His eyes drifted behind me, confused at what this place was, "Why did you call me here?" He asked, his eyes falling back on mine, slightly curious, "What is this place, anyway?" He asked and his eyebrows pulled closer when he heard Natalie's voice coming from inside, "Is Nate in here too?" He was about to step inside but my hand shot out, my palm pressing into his chest, pushing him backward and keeping him in his place.

His eyes fell into my hand before they went up to me, and his eyebrow raised, questioning my hostility when I was the one to ask him to come here in the first place, "Look, I am only letting you in on this because Natalie wants it, so be careful," I warned, more like threatened, "If you dare do anything behind my back, if you mention this to anyone," My head inched closer, hissing the words in his face, "I will fucking kill you, and believe me no one, not even Natalie would stop me from doing it, you get that?"

Each word deepened the frown pulling between his eyebrows, unable to understand what could be so big. I let my hand drop away now that I made my point clear and gave him space to step inside, "And here I thought we were slowly becoming friends," He mumbled with a low mocking tone as he walked inside, earning another glare from my side, which had him roll his eyes in return.

I had to fist and unfist my hand to stop myself from putting his very punchable face into the nearest wall. I headed to Nathan's room and he followed, "Seriously now, what is-" The words hitched in his throat when we reached their sides, Ronald froze for a second, his eyes growing wide while Nathan's brightened up in acknowledgment at the new presence.

Ronald stumbled over his words and rushed forward after he recovered from his shock, "Nathan," He whispered in utter disbelief, his hands reaching for the kid's face, touching and making sure he is real and here. Nathan beamed up brightly at him, "Ronald," He said, more giddily than ever, and pushed himself forward into Ronald's embrace, wrapping his little arms around his neck.

Ronald's eyelids dropped down, still trying to digest this fact as he wrapped the kid between his two arms, tightening it just slightly as he savored the moment before he could lose it all over again, "I was looking for you everywhere," He mumbled over a very low whisper that I heard too.

Natalie stared at them with a faint smile on her lips, that same longing somber look in her eyes made my chest tighten. I knew that she wanted this, she didn't request it out loud but by now, I can sometimes get what she wants without the need for words, and of course, her wish was my command, even if it meant bringing fucking Ronald into this as well. He should be thankful, she is the only reason I tolerate him and his constant disobedience.

When Nathan pulled away, Ronald held his face with two hands, smiling at him wholeheartedly. The situation started to slowly sink in and Ronald's smile started to drop till it fully disappeared, the tension growing in his jaw as he realized that I have been keeping this hidden from him for too long. He turned his head, his hard eyes meeting mine and he grated out, "You are a fucking asshole, you know that?"

Natalie's eyes widened and she inched closer, using her hand to smack the back of his head and shushing him, which pushed an immediate smile into my face. God, I am gonna marry this woman one day.

I nodded, "I do know," I answered, and my eyebrow raised, "But you better watch your words when you are around the kid," I stressed out, my tone casual but he could clearly read the threat between each letter. He scoffed and rubbed at the back of his head, slanting Natalie a very unsatisfied look.

My gaze flickered to Nathan and he was already looking back at me, his expression much more relaxed than all those previous days. He hasn't asked about Isaac yet, not since I promised that I will take him back there soon. I threw him a wink and he smiled, lowly chuckling at the whole situation before he focused his attention back on Ronald.

Natalie left them to catch up and inched closer to my side, I wrapped my hand over hers and we both stepped out of the room, her eyes finally leaving them and settling on me. A smile touched her lips and my hands rested on her waist, pulling her closer to me, "You gonna be okay in here?" I asked and she nodded her head multiple times.

"I just have a few things to do and once I am done, I will be back, but if you need anything-"

"I'll call you," She said the words on my behalf, her gaze flickering to my men at the other side of the room, "Or I will ask it from those two scary men," She added with a playful tone and my eyebrows pulled closer, "They're not scary," I started to say. If she thinks these two idiots are scary then...

"Oh no, they do look like they're about to shit their pants when you are around, no arguments there," She said with a humorous low chuckle.

My eyebrow raised, "I do seem to have that effect," I leaned closer, "But not on you," I mumbled as I pecked her beautiful full lips. She hummed in response, her fingers curling over my collar and fixing it, "You are my Nicky, you don't scare me."

Here we go again.

I edged backward, glaring at her and at that stupid nickname she decided to stick with. She chuckled lowly, bringing her hand to my face and pinching my cheek, "Aww, my grumpy bear," She added, teasing me, and my glare hardened but she was immune to it by now. Sometimes I wished I could scare her too, maybe she won't annoy me as much.

"You're gonna pay for these nonsense nicknames," I said, my hand leaving her waist and plastering over her back, the edge in my tone reflected exactly how and in which way will she pay for them. Her eyebrow raised in excitement, "I will?" She said with fake innocence, the minx teasing me still. She will be the reason behind my madness, I swear.

"Yes," I said, my jaw tightening at the thought of everything I could do to her.

"I've never been more excited for a punishment," She whispered back, the tease curling the side of her kissable lips and reflecting off the bright color in her eyes and I wanted to leave the whole fucking world behind and just be with her, every second of every day. God, she was my biggest distraction and if I don't get it together, I might steer far away from my purpose.

With my palm pressed into her lower back, I brought my other hand to her face, my fingers curling over her chin, angling her face the right way and bringing it closer so I can dip my head down and consume that beautiful mouth into my own. She melted into my arms like always, like she belonged only there, and with every breath I took, she exhaled and I inhaled the essence of her being. Her, she is this drug that I cannot resist, and the addiction that I never want to overcome.

I forced myself to break the contact of our lips, my fingers over her chin moved, my thumb caressing her lower plump lip, "I suddenly forgot why I had to leave," I mumbled, harshly breathing as my eyes met hers.

The look in her eyes reflected that in my own and she smiled, the redness rushing up and coating her cheeks, "You have work and things to do, remember?" She mumbled, "You need to go and do your part because there are those who will do anything to take this away from us," She added, licking those lips, the gesture almost making me forget that I have a father to kill and her uncle to bury ten feet under, "So, go and do your part," She added, playing with the lapels of my jacket, looking up and flashing me that one look that steals all the oxygen from my lungs; the innocence, the light, and the hope. She is going to demolish me one day, isn't she?

"Go and be my hero," She added and I couldn't hold back my chuckle, shaking my head at the silly word, "You and I both know I am not that," I stated and she nodded her head, "Then, go and be my monster, I don't care," She added, fitting herself into my messy world in ways and in such easiness I never thought could be possible.

She brought her hand to my face, brushing my cheek, and for a fleeting second, something different flashed into her eyes, words fighting to escape but she shook them off and playfully added, "My handsome monster," She smiled in accomplishment, "See, I found you the perfect nickname."

I groaned and shook my head, "No."

She rolled her eyes at me, "You are no fun."

"Deal with it, because you are stuck with me."

"Okay, you big boss mafia," She added casually, reminding me again of the mess she created in my office not that long ago.

"I better leave before I drag you along with me," I grunted out and she giggled lowly, nodding her head in agreement. She tiptoed and stole a quick peck from me and I had to force myself backward and away from her. It was one of the hardest things to do lately. Jesus, what is she doing to me?

I reached for the door and she was standing in our previous spot, staring at me like she didn't want me to go either, even if it was for an hour or two, "Nicky," She said, her voice a bit louder now, that my men heard her, "Take care," She added and tried to suppress her laugh at my very threatening grumpy expression. She threw me a wink and a kiss before she went back into Nathan's room, disappearing before I steal her away from here and show her what my punishments encompass. I turned to look at my men, who had their eyes wide, staring at us in pure astonishment.

I shot them both a glare, promising them pain if they don't get it together. Terror consumed their expressions and they stumbled far away from my sight. I sucked in a deep breath and left the house, rushing a very frustrated hand over my face, unable to comprehend what in god's name was happening to me.

I rubbed my fingers over my temple, feeling a headache starting to form. As if I needed that now. I tried to shake the pain away and focused on the task at hand.

I pulled my phone out when it vibrated and saw the message Jeremy had just sent me, spelling out three words; 'She is here.'

I walked off and tried to clear my head of previous events. It's time to get back to work.

**************

Emma's POV

I took another bite of my doughnut, enjoying the delicateness of the pastry and the way the chocolate melted into my mouth. I almost moaned in satisfaction, I was too happy in my little pleasurable bubble that I almost forgot Nikolas, who was beside me and talking about something.

I licked my lips as we stepped into the elevator, "Who exactly are we meeting with?" I asked, licking the powdered sugar from the tips of my fingers before I cleaned them off by rubbing at Nikolas's jacket's sleeves who pushed me away from him immediately. I ignored him and turned around, looking at the elevator's mirror, and fixed my hair, making sure not one strand was out of place.

"As I said, Isaac's strengths and weaknesses are in total three things only," He resumed his previous conversation and I nodded along, "His throne," I started with the obvious number one. Nikolas nodded and said the second, "Nathan," He added and I scoffed, "Oh yeah, our precious stepbro, isn't he?"

Nikolas winced at the insinuation and shook his head, "No, don't call him that."

We stepped out of the elevator and to the metallic door where Nik typed down the passcode, "Wait, does this indirectly make Natalie our step-sister," I added and he paused in his steps, turning around to shoot me his hardest glares, he looked more than ready to drag me into that fighting ring again and kick my ass for real this time.

I chuckled and raised my hands in surrender, "Just kidding," I said, "I know that you are not Alex," I added playfully and he decided to ignore me, walking further inside and heading for his office, "Where is Alex these days, I kind of miss annoying him," I added.

Nikolas paused in his steps again and exhaled a very loud breath, signaling he is not in the mood for playing around. I sighed, "Okay, okay, you are in business mode now, I get it," I said with a roll of my eyes, "So who is waiting for us inside and why would you bring anyone into this place when you claimed it was our secret spot?"

Nikolas looked at me, ignoring my question and resuming his precious words, "The throne, I will have it soon," He counted Isaac's strengths, "Nathan, well, I already have him," He added, "Which leaves us with the last thing," He indirectly explained what laid behind his office's door.

The third one wasn't hard to guess, "The HEX," I said and Nikolas nodded, "Now, you are thinking like the smart sister I know," He said, and before I could grasp what he meant, he opened the door and stepped inside, greeting whoever was in there, waiting for his arrival.

The thick-accented voice I heard, the presence that suddenly consumed the whole room, the heavy perfume I could recognize anywhere; they had me halt to a sudden stop, freezing me at the spot and all my five senses malfunctioned. The air I was sucking into my lungs paused by the entrance, trapped and unable to break free. She stood up, shaking hands with Nikolas, her heels clicking against the hard concrete floor, her eyes flickering from Nikolas and falling on...me.

Eyes so dark, eyes I've seen in my nightmares uncountable times. Red, full lips tilted up at my sight, amusement danced on them and she spoke, "Emma," I felt the hair stand at the back of my neck, the sweat trickling down my spine in awareness, "It's been a while."

Tension scratched at my nerves and inside, I was shaking, trembling, and crying in agony but my outside was a still statue, with no flicker of emotions, no reactions...just like she taught me. I forced my feet to move forward, my eyes on hers only, observing how the years changed her, checking if it made her older but the botox had already erased the imprint of time from over her face.

I only stopped when I was standing across from her, "Matilde," I nodded in acknowledgment before I took my seat.

My gaze flickered to Nikolas, "You already know each other?" he asked, not curious, just fishing for a conversation, catching a link to make him score whatever deal he is working on with her. I shot him the hardest glare; if I haven't killed him before, I wanna beat him senseless now because of this only. How dare he bring my monster, my worst nightmare, and make her sit right in front of me?

In his defense, I never told him a thing about my days in the HEX. He knows nothing. No one does. Nikolas stared back at me in confusion, sensing the negativity radiating off me in waves, which means she could sense it too. No, I can't let her. I can't let her revel in my moment of weakness.

"Of course, we know each other," I was the first to speak, forcing the fakest smile over my lips, casually leaning against the chair, body language was important and she could understand everything I am keeping buried deep by only the twitching of my fingers but I won't let her, "Matilde was...well, she was my teacher."

She let out a low chuckle, "And Emma was my favorite student," She gazed at me like she could read behind the cool tough exterior, "She had so much potential," She added, her eyebrow raised as she glanced at Nikolas, "And if you didn't come and steal her away from us, I am sure she would've been the one to win," Winning among your group at the HEX means killing everyone in your group to reach the top spot, "She would've easily been on the top of the chain," Her eyes were focused on me again, "I only invest my time in winners, which is why I invested all of my time on you."

"I should be grateful then," I couldn't hide the distaste in my tone and she chuckled, saying, "Haven't changed a bit, have you?"

She smiled widely, her eyes flickering all over my face, and I hated that the major parts of my body and face were bruised, clear for her to see some of my failures, "I heard so much about all that you did after you left us," She added, her fake full lips covered in the brightest shade of red, it was her favorite color, I'd remember, "Gotta say, I am proud."

She spoke like a mother would address her child and I wanted to punch her face into the next century. I wanted to claw out her insides with my perfectly manicured nails; I did them this morning but wasting them on her would be so much worth it. My hands fisted over my thigh, stopping myself from jumping across and starting a fight I might win for once.

Nikolas could sense my uncomfortableness so he started speaking, grabbing the woman's attention away from me but I couldn't look anywhere but at her, couldn't stop my mind from taking me back to every torturous moment I had in there that included her. If I could hate anyone more than Isaac, it would be her and her only.

FLASHBACK

"I couldn't do it," My whisper was shameful when it shouldn't be. I had failed my assignment this time, I couldn't kill my target, not when I saw that she was just a little girl, a nine years old little girl to be exact. How could've I?

Earlier that day, I was propped and settled on the rooftop of the building across from her school, my rifle positioned in the right spot, one eye squinted, the other looking right through the rifle's scope, watching at a distance as she clutched into her backpack, swaying on her two feet as she sang a song, looking left and right, waiting for her parents or someone to pick her up.

They never give you any information about your target.

Targets don't have a name, they don't have an age, and they don't have a family. They were just numbers to check off the list. They were reduced to a mere set of digits, a statistic to be erased from records without a second thought.

A target is a faceless silhouette with no distinguishing features. The target was not a person, but a set of coordinates on a map, a nameless, faceless entity to be eliminated without remorse. That's what they engraved in our heads.

But the longer I stared at the little girl, at her dark-blue school uniform, her pink hello-kitty bag, and her pink shoes that I wished to have as a little girl; The more I watched her blonde hair that was tied into two braids at each side, and her bright blue eyes, the more I hesitated, my finger shaking around the trigger, unable to do this and just go back to be assigned to do more and more damage...

What possible threat could she have on anyone? Her father was a senator of some kind, he was a threat to us...but what was her fault...what was my fault?

I was shaken back when Matilde's hand collided with my cheek, pushing my whole being backward. Angrily, she stared down at me in utter disappointment, like I failed her. I didn't do my assignment so I will be punished, I knew that. She can get one of the men to come and beat me senseless but she knew that doesn't work on me anymore. She knew I could fight back and kill them, slit their throats just like I did the last time.

Her fingers wrapped over my arm and she pulled me up, dragging me out of the room, in front of everyone, so they can see, see what happens when you don't finish your assignment and wipe off a name from your list. My heart retched higher when I saw where she was taking me to.

"No, no," I whispered in panic, "No, please," I added, gasping for a breath at previous memories of being locked up in that same room she is dragging me into. Why can't they just beat me senseless, why can't they just knock me down unconscious...

I tried to push back but she pulled me forward, I could beat down everyone in this place but not her, she was always stronger, more superior than the rest. She opened the door and pushed me inside, ignoring my words of plea. She slammed it shut before I could make my escape. She locked it and I tried to knock, tried to scream but to no avail...no one will ever come to my rescue.

I looked around and saw nothing. The room was pitch black, a place of total obscurity. It was a place where the senses got muffled and the mind got lost in a labyrinth of darkness. Within this void, there was no horizon, no perspective, and no sense of distance or direction. The air itself seemed to thicken with every minute I am in, pressing down on my skin and making it hard to breathe. The silence was thick and absolute. In this place, even the simplest of movements felt like an act of courage, with no guide or sense of orientation.

The darkness heightened my other senses, making them more acute and vivid as if my body is reaching out for any sense of familiarity. Yet, it was a place where the mind can also become lost, and disoriented by the absence of visual cues and the overwhelming sensation of being submerged in a sea of blackness. It is a place where time seemed to lose all meaning and the soul is left to wander aimlessly, seeking the smallest glimmer of light to break through the oppressive darkness.

I've been here before. At first, it is not scary. It gets scary with time. They leave you here for days, weeks even till you lose count of time, of day and night. They leave you with no food, no water, and deprived of your basic necessities. They lower the temperature till you pass out from coldness, your limbs cracking, then raise it high enough to make your blood boil. It was the simplest but most ruthless form of torture. Being submerged in utter blackness for days, alone, messes with your mind, it makes you see what's not there. It ruins you. It ever so slowly scraps bits and pieces of you.

It's my worst nightmare coming to life.

END OF FLASHBACK

I blinked through the haziness, kicking the past away. My nails dug deep into the leather armrest, my eyes still focused on the woman seated ahead of me, speaking with Nikolas like she was making a business deal, something to benefit both sides. I imagined what it would be like to pull my knife and crave her skin out, what would it feel like to push her into that same dark room and keep her there for months and years, and watch the insanity that will come out?

I wanted and wanted and wanted...

The tension grew inside my limbs, threatening to break free and I knew I couldn't stay seated across from her, or try and make a deal with her like Nikolas is planning to do. He knows nothing. He doesn't know how many girls' lives she ruined in that hell hole. I was the boss's daughter after all so I was lucky to skip over some of the steps; I know that there were those who got raped, those who got sold out, and those who had their organs ripped from them and sold...

I was lucky...lucky to be whisked away before they had the chance to steal another right I should own like any other woman. I was lucky...

I pushed myself to my feet, the chair getting pushed back, the sound of the wood screeching against the floor had their conversation pause midway, eyes flickering to me as I stormed out of the office room, unable to tolerate this nonsense anymore.

I rushed away, with no destination, in a haze still, absorbed by my past, chained to it, always, I will forever be chained to what made me who I am today. I was so out of it, I was blinded that all I felt was myself crash into someone, two big familiar hands held me, and a low throaty chuckle vibrated from his chest, "What got you so distracted?" His humorous tone disappeared the second I lifted my gaze up to meet his.

Lines etched his forehead, sensing something was out of the ordinary, the devastation on my face was enough to shift the mode and raise the tension around us. His hand left my arm and he brought it to my cheek, brushing his thumb over my skin, "What's wrong?" He said over a soothing whisper.

I tripped, over my words, and over the heart that is beating for this man faster and faster every day. It shouldn't. I shouldn't be sucked into this any further than I am. I don't deserve this. I don't deserve the happiness and the safety he envelops me with every day. I deserve to stay in that tainted past. With a rifle and a target. Killing. Obliterating. Ruining everything in my path.

I don't deserve his tender touches and his sweet smiles. I don't deserve his innocent love.

He doesn't know all the terribleness I've committed over the years. He doesn't or else he wouldn't look at me like this. Does he know how many kids I've orphaned, how many women ended up widowed, how many families I broke? Does he know that I am drowning in the blood of my victims, that it had reached above my neck, so close to suffocating me?

He doesn't know. He shouldn't know.

Roman's eyebrows pulled closer, the worry evident in his gaze, "Emma," He called for me again, urging me to speak, to say something.

I was so close to exploding all over the place. So, I kept looking at him, drawing some of his positive energy into mine, reaching for some calmness, for a steady ground to stand on when my whole world felt like it was spinning out of control.

"I've killed a pregnant woman," I confessed, for some reason.

Roman's confusion doubled over, the lines so tight between his eyebrows and over his forehead, "What?"

"Once, I've killed a pregnant woman," I repeated, "She was pregnant, really pregnant, like it was maybe her ninth month, and I killed her."

Roman searched my eyes for something, for me to laugh and say it's a joke, for an explanation of why I was telling him this, and why now, "I was sent to kill her husband, I didn't know she'd walk into that car," If only I've known, "But...she did. Still, I killed her, me, I did it," I added, accident or not, it was me, "Which means I killed a small innocent baby, a baby."

Roman's lips parted slightly then he closed them again, unable to comment on this, "Emma, I...I don't understand," He mumbled, his voice dropping lower.

"I know that we are no saints," I spoke, "I know you've done your share of bad things, it's what we were born into but," Something scratched at my throat because, behind the confusion, behind the worry, behind the questions, I could see a small part of him that felt rebelled by this fact, a part of him finally saw me for who I am, "But all those you've hurt were terrible people like me, I know, I know you and all that you've done over the years, but you don't know me," I shook my head, "Not really."

"You don't know that I am more than the girl who stepped on your heart and walked away all those years ago," I added, "I am much worse than her, can you imagine?"

"Emma, why are you bringing this up right now?" He asked, the edge in his tone asking to stop talking about this.

I smiled, mockingly, at myself, "Because I thought that I could escape that past," I shook my head, "But I can't, it's always there, mocking me in every step I try to take forward, punching me back because I deserve it, it will always be there to take from me what I stole from others."

I brought my hand up, resting it over his over my cheek and I removed it away, forcing myself backward. Roman looked so flustered, unable to grasp what was going on with me, unable to comprehend the insanity running deep into my bones.

"It was nice seeing you again, Nikolas," Her rich voice penetrated my ears, followed by the sound of her heels clicking against the floor. I pressed my eyes shut. I breathed. I fisted my hands. I breathed again. I opened my eyes, and they fell into Roman's anxious worried ones, "I am gonna do this because I have to, okay?" I whispered to him.

I didn't give him a chance to ask. I whirled around so fast and marched forward. I didn't give anyone a chance to react or absorb my presence and I was in front of her, my fist slamming into her face and pushing her backward, the sound of bones cracking beneath my touch was like a shot of crack to my addicted brain.

"Emma!" Nikolas shot out, bewildered at what I just did, at how I could ruin his chances of getting from her whatever information he needed. His hands came to my shoulders, stopping me, pulling me back but I used all of my power to shake him off me, my elbow flying back and slamming him in the face with so much force it had him stumble backward. I wasn't fighting for fun this time, I was fighting with the intent to kill.

Matilde found her feet too fast, her hands clutching to her face, to the nose I probably broke and furiousness consumed her expression. The blood dripped down her face. She loved red, so I will paint her with it today. The anger tightened her jaw and inflamed those dark soulless eyes. She marched back at me, for a woman her age, she could still carry herself around pretty well. She pushed her fist into my face but I held it back at the right time, my fingers twisting her hand within my furious grip, my knee going up and punching her in the stomach, my other leg kicking her away till she fell into the ground.

All of my senses were on her and her only. My mind focused on one mission, her dead.

I pulled my knife from my waistband and marched back at her, she dodged most of my attacks this time but she couldn't overpower me, she couldn't get the upper hand on me. I was more powerful now and I couldn't revel in that enough. The student has become the master, I suppose. My name was being told and shouted, maybe it was Nikolas, maybe it was Roman. Hands tried to reach for me, harsh and commanding but I shrugged them off every time. I didn't even turn to look back at them.

I was focused on her. It was just me and her, back in that black dark room. No one else existed. Just us, fending off each other. Violence spilled off the walls and every time she tried to push, I pulled. I almost smiled in delight when I pushed her into the ground again, me on top this time, straining her. Blood dripped still. Fresh bruises covered her perfect face. I've probably broken a rib. Maybe I cracked a bone. But I wasn't done. It wasn't enough.

I pressed the edge of my knife to her neck, enough to draw blood but not enough to kill, not yet. I stared down at her and she looked up at me through fake long lashes, her chest heaving but her eyes undefeated, she wasn't willing to give up, not yet.

She cracked a smile, one as crazy as her, as crazy as she made me, "Told you, I only train the best."

I groaned and pushed the knife further, deeper into her skin, "It's quite sad though, it's a pity that after all those years, you have no control over your emotions, you still let them take the best of you," She added, so casual, as if I don't have a knife to her throat, the bitch, "Emotions cloud your judgment and hinder your performance," She repeated those same words as before and I wanted to spit on her face, "A warrior must be disciplined and focused at all times to be effective in battle."

"I am not a warrior," I grated out, my knife so close to her ripping off her artery. Any second now, "I am not a soldier," I added, breathing harshly, "I am not a weapon."

"Then, what are you, Emma?"

I tried to catch my next breath but failed, my voice dropping lower, "I am..."

I didn't know because they stole my identity long ago and shaped it into whatever fucked up madness they wanted.

There was a small tilt in her lips at my lack of answer and then it happened so fast, I didn't understand how her hand twisted my arm, how her leg curled over my own and flipped it over, how she stole the knife from my hold, and how she moved it fast, grazing the area below my collarbone. The wound was not deep but enough to sting and draw blood out. I didn't understand how she disarmed me and how she got the upper hand within mere seconds.

All I knew was that I wasn't going to let her. But I was late because by the second I got up, someone else had punched and pushed her away, letting the knife fall and clatter to the floor. I saw red only, I saw anger, I saw pain, and I saw a little girl who was stripped of everything she owns, her innocence, her feminism, her connection to anything humane. I picked up the knife and marched forward, my vision blurry, my breathing harsh and I was aiming to kill now, nothing else.

Arms still held me back, my name still being shouted as if it could pull me out and I fought through it, I fought whoever stood in way, and I could see her behind him, trying to get back up. I groaned and I pushed him away, moving forward, a mad woman on a mission. My knife-wielding hand aimed forward and ready but he blocked me again. I screamed in frustration and I pushed the knife forward, allowing it to penetrate through flesh.

It took me a second, then two, and three to realize that I didn't push it into her. No. I felt the hot liquid pour into my fingers, I felt the hand that was wrapped over my own, trying to stop me from doing something hastily till I did...

My wide eyes flickered up, terrified of what they were about to witness. My eyes fell into Roman's face, to how his expression tightened, his eyes pressed shut, his jaw ticking in apparent pain before he let his eyelids glide open, staring back at me with something unrecognizable at all.

The air left my lungs as a gasp, a whimper, I choked on my feelings, on my fear and I held him when he almost stumbled backward. His back pressed into the wall, his eyes down at his abdomen, his hand still on mine, tight as he pulled my knife-wielding hand away. Bewilderment danced on my nerves, "No, no, no," I said in a quick panic and the second the knife was out, I let it go, I let it fall as it scorched my skin, and burned me somewhere so deep.

I pressed my hand over his wound, blocking whatever blood I can from spurring forward and worsening the situation. I wasn't breathing. What did I do? God, what did I do? He said it before, he warned me, told me I can't be reckless anymore, told me I had two people to think of, that I can't think of myself only, he told me, but I didn't listen...I never listen. I don't know what came over me. I wasn't thinking. I wasn't seeing...

"Roman," His name left my lips in a panicked breathless whisper, and I kept one hand pressed tight against his wound before I brought the other to his face but he pulled away from my touch almost immediately, "I...I know what to do, let me take care of your wound, make sure you are not bleeding more...then we'll go to the hospital, okay, just.."

His hand curled over my wrist, over where I was trying to block him from bleeding out, he tried to pull it away but I refused, "I know how to do it myself," He said, his voice tight, a bit harsh even.

"Roman," I called for him, I want him to look me in the eyes, why won't he look me in the eyes, "I am sorry, I am...I am sorry," I said again, my voice foreign to my own ears, "Look at me, Roman," I said, a hint of frustration in my tone but he still refused to. He pushed my hand away from him, and a low groan rumbled from his chest as he tried to push himself off the wall and walk away.

"Wait, wait, where are you going?" I shot out, my hands grasping for his shoulders, pulling him back, "Let me take care of your wound, Roman, let me-"

"I can do it myself!" He shot out, his voice bellowing into the four walls, his eyes looking at my eyes now and I wanted him to look anywhere else but at me, the look in his eyes so foreign, so raw I am unable to catch my breath. Was it because I hurt him? Because I told him my truth? Because he witnessed my insanity himself? Because I never listen to a word he says? Because I am beyond fixation?

He fought against the pain and walked into the other room. He was in pain, I caused him pain. I caused him pain. I hurt him. I looked around the room, ever so helplessly. It was empty now. I had to think that Nikolas took care of the Matilde mess and I couldn't care anymore. I couldn't wrap my mind around anything that wasn't Roman.

I brought my bloodied hand up, my fingers slightly shaking at the sight of red covering my fingers. It was his blood. His blood. My husband's blood. The one I drew out myself. I sniffled, trying to get a grip on my emotions. I wanted to be punished. I wanted to be pushed back into the black room, I wanted to be kept inside for months till I lose my mind all over again.

I could do nothing but step ahead and wait by the door of the room he went in. Stand there and wait for him to get out. Stand there and prepare myself for his anger, for everything. I stood there and waited.

******************

Nikolas's POV

Natalie's eyebrows pulled closer when her eyes fell on me, sensing I was slightly disheveled from when I left her side hours ago, "Did something happen?" She asked and I nodded with a distraught sigh.

"Yeah, I had to deal with-"

Natalie's gasp had me pause in my words, her eyes growing a bit wide when she noticed the small fresh cut over my cheek. She had a small box in her hand, she placed it on the hood of the car and inched closer to me, her fingers reaching for my cut, "Who keeps doing this to you?" She asked in frustration.

"Emma, who else," I grumbled out.

Natalie's eyes widened before they narrowed, "She's been doing this a lot lately, I am starting to get angry," She crossed her arms over her chest, being a protective furious little thing, "It makes me want to go and punch her but I am sure she'll split me in half before I dare to do anything."

I smiled and shook my head, edging closer and resting my hands over her waist, "I won't let anyone split you in half," I mumbled and she smiled, "You won't?" She asked with a playful tone and I shook my head, leaning down to peck her lips. I let out a low sigh of contentment, my forehead pressed against hers as I mumbled, "Why is everything just so much easier when you are around?"

Breathing. Thinking. Existing...it is all effortless when she surrounds me like this.

The headache that was rocking my brain minutes ago just disappeared now. Vanished. How was it even possible?

"You know that I can always be around," She said, lifting her head up, "Just in the name of making your life easier and all."

I smiled at all that she is, "Deal."

Her lips twitched happily before she tugged at her lower lip, "I got you a present," She announced.

My eyebrows pulled closer, "You did?"

She nodded, "It's just a small little thing," She mumbled, all shyly, the redness coating her face made us want to kiss every inch of that beautiful pink skin, "It's no big deal," She added, reaching for the small box she rested over my car and extended it forward to me.

I took it from her, a bit speechless. My gaze flickered from it and up to her, my heart beating slightly faster, "You didn't have to," I said.

She shook her head again, her blonde her flying around her face, "As I said, it's nothing big or luxurious or...you know, it's just a small thing, open it," She urged softly but also nervous, like she was scared I wouldn't like it or something. She had no idea that I don't even remember the last time someone gifted me anything, that if anyone ever did. She had no idea that her existence in my life alone was a gift I don't know what I did to deserve.

I removed the gift wrapper, the one that had small little kittens on it. Of course, why would I expect anything else from her? I shook my head with a smile and opened the box, pulling out what it held inside.

My gaze flickered to Natalie as she watched me with careful eyes, her teeth dug deep into her lower lip, "It's a sketchbook," She announced, making sure I understand what it is. My lips twitched and I nodded my head, "I know that."

Her throat bobbed, "I know that you said you don't do it anymore but..." Her words hitched when my fingers rested over her lower lip, freeing it from her teeth, my gaze on it as I warned, "Stop doing that, unless you want me to do something irrational out here in the open."

Her eyes widened and she turned another shade of pink, "Uhuh," She breathed out and my lips twitched again, my eyebrow raising, "You were saying?"

"Yeah, so," She ran her hand through her hair, "I know that you said you don't do it anymore but I think you should," She explained, "First because I think you are so talented, it would be a waste, and two...it helps," She said, her tone going a tad serious, "Art in all its forms, it helps us channel our inner turmoil, our emotion and gives them a tangible form that can be seen, heard, or even felt."

"You know, whether it is singing a song, or writing a poem, or drawing a picture; with each brushstroke, each note, and each word, you delve deeper into the depths of your soul, you discover new truths, and you unlock a potential for healing and closure," She added, "It helps you let out things you can't express out loud, it helps you let go and I really think you should try and do it again."

Her words sucked me into a whirlwind of emotions, my gaze going back to the sketchbook in my hands, the cover was a lovely shade of deep forest green. It was made of a smooth and sturdy material that is pleasant to the touch. On the front cover of the sketchbook, there are trees depicted in various shades of green, ranging from the lighter hues of young leaves to the darker tones of mature foliage.

My eyes flickered back to Natalie, watching as she brought her hand up, nervously biting at her nails, "You know what, this was a silly idea, I don't know what I was thinking," She said, anxious for some reason and a hint of dejection in her voice as she probably thought I didn't like it, "It's stupid, I should've..." She was reaching for the book again, taking it away from me but I moved it out of her reach.

"Hey, you can't take my gift back," I said with an arched eyebrow.

Her shoulders slightly slumped down, "Do you like it?" She mumbled, so hesitant and scared.

I nodded my head, my heart all types of messy, "A lot."

She didn't seem to believe me and she shook her head, "You are just saying that because I sleep with you," She said with a pout and I didnt know if I should laugh at her frustrated tone or just wrap her in my arms and get her to understand the depth of my feelings.

"Natalie, no one ever gifted me anything before," I spoke, my words drawing lines between her eyebrows, "So that's number one," I added, "And truth is, I could get myself anything I want which is why I wouldn't care for any type of gifts usually but," I looked down at the book in my hand, imaging her sitting down, trying to figure out what to gift me, trying to find something I'd like when I don't like much in this world.

The thought only pushed a smile into my face, "But the fact that you went ahead and got me the one thing no one else knows about, the thing that I would've never gone ahead and got it myself, that you made it more personal, it...it makes me feel things I can't really put into words," The sincerity of my words finally had her relax.

Her lips tilted up and she nodded forward at the sketchbook, "You better draw me then," She said and I shook my head, "I can't."

Lines tightened her brows, "Yes, you can."

I shook my head again, "It's not possible," I brought my free hand to her cheek, wiping away that one lash that had fallen down, "It's not possible to reflect such perfection over a mere piece of paper."

She tried so hard to stop herself from smiling, the blush covered every exposed skin and she tried to act all unaffected, "Shush, stop being so cute, it makes me wanna jump on you."

I tried to ignore the cute adjective she used, "Not yet," I said, "I have a gift for you too."

Her eyes lightened and she brightly beamed up at me, "A gift?" I nodded, "For me?" I nodded again.

She seemed unable to hold in her excitement, "Show me, show me, I love gifts!"

I reached for the passenger's door, opened it, and ushered her to get in, "Get in and I will show you."

She looked inside, searching for something before she looked at me, "Is it inside the car?"

I shook my head, "It doesn't exactly...fit into a car."

Confusion reflected off her gaze and she eyed me for a long second before a frustrated sigh parted her lips, "Your big gift is gonna make me feel bad about my little gift, isn't it?"

I raised my eyebrow, "It's not a competition."

She nodded her head, disagreeing, "It so is, and I need to win!"

I shook my head at her silliness, "Get in," I urged and she grumbled out a few words, not satisfied with the sudden turn of events.

I joined her inside and took off, heading toward our destined spot.

"Where are we going exactly?" Natalie asked, checking with me every passing five minutes.

I sighed, "If you be a bit patient, you will see it for yourself."

"If you haven't noticed already, I am not a very patient person!"

I sighed, "I can see that," I mumbled under my breath and felt her hand lightly slap my arm, "Don't whine about me!"

"I wasn't whining," I defended myself and she held me with a stern look.

Her eyes flickered out of the window, trying to figure out where are we heading, "Where are we going?" She asked again and the loud breath that pushed out of my nose was uncontrollable, earning me another glare from her.

"Patience, Natalie, patience," I grated out.

"Patience, Natalie, patience," She repeated my words, mimicking my voice with a mocking tone.

I turned around to look at her, my eyebrow raising at her mood swings that give me whiplash sometimes. I've killed, I've tortured and I've done unspeakable things but this is by far the hardest thing I had to encounter, can you imagine?

"I don't sound like that," I grated out and she tried to mimic that too and I wanted to push her out of my car now.

I paused the car by the red lights and Natalie was ready to ask me again about our destination but her words hitched when she looked at what stood on the other side of the street behind me. I followed her stunned gaze, my eyes falling onto the three buildings positioned next to each other, the big cursive letters on the entrance gate spelled out "Harmony Heights High School".

I looked back at Natalie as she whispered, "I went to that high school," She mumbled, a hint of nostalgia in her voice as she eyed the teens rushing in and out of the building. I looked back, observing more, imagining her right there in between the crowd, young, energetic and so full of life. I almost smiled at the image in my head, I bet she was always the ray of sunshine in every room.

The main colors of the school's uniform were navy blue and white, with accents of gold. The male students wore navy blue dress pants with a white button-down shirt and a navy blue blazer while the female students wore a navy blue skirt, some had dress pants on with a white blouse and a navy blue blazer as well. Both male and female students wore a loose tie with a small emblem of the school's logo on it.

I turned to Natalie, "You still have that uniform?"

She looked back at me, her eyes widening and I just felt her smack the back of my head...the hell!

"Don't fantasize about eighteen-year-old me!" She warned and I shot her a glare, rubbing at the back of my head, "I wasn't!" I defended myself, "I was fantasizing about this you, but wearing that."

Her eyes narrowed at me and the lights turned green, allowing me to drive forward. A second or two of silence came over before she mumbled, "I do still have it."

My lips twitched at the insinuation behind her voice, "We are dropping by your apartment before we go home tonight, don't forget," I said, my tone serious and her lips twitched, hiding her sneaky smile.

I used one hand to steer the wheel and used the other to take her hand into mine, bringing it closer to my lips and dropping a soft kiss over it. We were getting closer and I wanted her to be prepared, my hand squeezed hers soothingly before I swerved the car in the right direction and parked it by one of the house's front porches.

Natalie's shocked eyes flickered all around us and I went out of the car, walked to her side, and opened the door. She went down, her wide eyes trying to grasp at what stood across from us, at the familiarity of it all. The house was nestled in a picturesque neighborhood that exuded a weird sense of warmth and friendliness. The neighbors that walked around greeted each other, and looked like everyone knew one another around here.

She stepped closer and I followed her along, there was a brick pathway that winded its way through a well-trimmed lawn. The lawn was decorated with an array of flowers and shrubs. The house itself is a two-story, traditional-style home with a white brick exterior complemented by black-trimmed windows. The front porch is wide and inviting, with a set of white wicker chairs and a matching table.

My gaze left the house and went back to Natalie, her gaze savoring every edge and every detail, remembering little moments and memories of what happened here and there. Her eyes moved across the lawn and back to the door, tilting her head up to look at the upper window. When her gaze finished its little tour, her eyes left the house and she slowly turned around to look at me.

My chest tightened instantly when I saw the tears swarm her eyes, they gathered at the edge but haven't fallen down yet. I immediately took a step forward and she mumbled lowly, "I haven't come here since the day mom died," She looked back at the house, her hands fisted on the side, trying to hold herself from crying out loud.

"You know," She whispered, "Back then, almost every weekend, dad would make us barbecue on that grill," She was looking at the other backside of the house, lost in the road leading down memory lane, "Ronald would help and every time, every time he'd burn himself somehow," A low soft sound that resembled a somber laugh parted her mouth, "Dad would scold him and mom would stick to Ronald's side and get angry at dad," I watched her closely, my chest tightening with every word she spoke, with the rawness enveloping her voice that I was starting to rethink if this was a good idea or not, "She'd say it's the last time we'll do barbecue in the house, but the next week would come and we'd relive the same thing again."

Her gaze left that spot and she looked at the lawn, "There was a broken water sprinkler over there," She added and I followed her eyesight, "It stayed broken for a year and mom would always complain about it, asking dad to fix it but he never got the time for it," She added, involuntarily taking a step back, almost running away, "I fixed it...the day she died, the day I sold the house, I fixed it."

I figured she had to sell the house after her mother's death, she would've not been able to live in it any longer, not when she was completely alone and on her own, with her father bedridden and the only person she had left had turned his back and left. I can't even imagine it, I can't wrap my head over it, at how lonely she must've felt, how broken, and how lost. God, even if she forgives Ronald for that, I never will.

She turned around to look at me, and a tear slipped through the threshold and I wanted to give her things I am not powerful enough to provide. She shook her head, her lower lips slightly trembling, "This...this is not a gift, Nikolas, I can't..." She shook her head and another tear escaped her eye, "This is too much, I can't accept it, I just can't."

I edged closer and nodded my head, my hand reaching for her arm, gently pulling her closer to me, "Yes, you can."

She sniffled and tried to suppress her tears but she failed, "No, Nikolas, I will never be able to repay you back for this, I can't accept it."

I brought my hands to her face, forcing her to look at me, "Natalie, I wish I can give you back everything you once lost," The years she lived away from Nathan, her father's full health, even her mother, "I can't, but at least I can give you this," She started to shake her head again and I interrupted, reasoning with her, "Your father is getting better, he is going to get out of the hospital soon and he will need this place Natalie, something familiar, something he can relate to and something to help him get back on his feet," I explained, "And once Isaac is out of the picture; Nathan too, he will need a home, this can be his home, where he can make those same memories you have."

"Sometimes the right thing is not to run away from the past but to run right back into it," I added, her eyes lost in my gaze, silently staring back at me, listening to every word I spoke, a few more tears had slipped down her cheeks and I couldn't plan Joseph's demise any faster.

Her lower lip trembled again and she pulled it under her teeth, stressed anxious lines drew between her brows and heartbreak spilled from her eyes, "Are you even real?" She mumbled in a hoarse whisper.

I tightened my hold over her, pulling her to me even closer and she crashed into my chest, wrapping her arms around my waist, clinging to me and I wanted to say it out loud, tell her that my heart has been beating strangely fast every time she was this near to me, explain to her how she had broken a very high wall within me, how she shattered it to pieces with her soft delicate touch. How she unraveled the beast; the monster, she scraped off his layers, one by one, showing me what was laying behind, proving that there was something else inside of me. That I wasn't all bad. All black. I wasn't a lost cause. I wasn't crazy. I wasn't fully...the villain. At least not in her story.

Swallowing past the heavy strong emotions lodging in my throat, I found my voice and spoke, "Let's go inside," I whispered and Natalie edged backward, her hand wrapped in mine as we stepped into the house she had grown up in. She tried not to cry anymore, she held onto the good memories, explaining what happened here and what occurred there...I realized that I would spend years just standing here and watching her speak of her past with such delight and I won't get bored once.

"Dad used to measure our height over here," She pointed at the marks at the door frame, the one separating what used to be her room from Ronald's room, "Blue was Ronald," She ran her fingers over it, "And Red was me," A small smile lifted her lips and she looked back at me, "At first we were the same height before he started to become taller," Her eyebrow raised playfully, "Which I guess is where our enmity started."

We stepped into the empty room next to us, "So, this used to be your room," I commented and she nodded, glancing around the place before she looked at me and shook her head, "I still can't believe you did this."

"Deal with it," I said, willing to force her to accept this, "It's just a gift."

It was no big deal, it's just a house, I don't know why is she exaggerating.

She narrowed her eyes at me, "Someone should teach you the etiquette of gifting, you know," Natalie said, "Because this is definitely not how it works."

My eyebrows pulled closer at the frustration seeping within each word, "A gift is like what I got for you, something small, casual, and could fit in a damn box, not this!"

Why is she screaming at me again? Wasn't she happy and emotionally crying seconds ago? Women are weird...

"I could try and fit this in a box," I said, looking around, seriously thinking about it but my words seemed to trigger her for some reason.

She glared at me for a long minute but my innocent confused expression had her lips twitch slightly, then she smiled, then she shook her head at me and a low soft laugh left her lips. She tiptoed and pecked my cheek, "You are so adorable," She said and I grimaced.

What's with her and these goddamned adjectives?

"Call me that again and I am taking back my gift," I threatened, seriously.

She chuckled and edged closer, her hands reaching for my loosened tie, playing with its material, "Kiss me," She said, demanding, and I was going to do it just so she would shut up but she kept speaking nonsense and my headache was suddenly back, "You know, it's funny because, in this exact room, I once made out with James...my high school boyfriend, I mean.."

My jaw tightened and I shot her a hard glare, "Don't tell me his full name unless you want to see how easy I can find him and how quickly I can snap off a man's neck," I grated out.

"Wow, do I love it when you talk dirty to me," She said, part joking and another teasing.

Her eyebrow raised, "Actually now that I am thinking of it, it was a bit more than just making out.." I swallowed the rest of her words as I slammed my mouth on hers, backing her into the wall, my palms landed on each side of her face and I took, took her addictive taste, took everything she is willing to give, devouring every inch of this mouth of hers. I bit down on her lower lip, torturing the sensitive skin and she gasped, her fingers tightening over my tie, using it to pull and draw me closer.

It was all okay, it was heaven and hell mixed together, it was pleasure and pain, a thin line separating the both but the line grew, it expanded and I started to only feel the pain, the pulsing waves inside my head were retching higher. I've been ignoring it since the morning, I've been more focused on her, lost in her that I could overcome it but something about this moment, triggered it to press tighter and tighter over every alive cell and nerve end till I couldn't take it anymore.

The pain was too familiar, but I took my pills this morning. I am sure I did, so why did it feel as if I didn't?

I slowed my movement, breaking the kiss rather abruptly, and I edged backward but it happened too fast for me to grasp, beyond my control even. It wasn't like remembering a memory, no, it was like reliving it again and suddenly the woman in my arms wasn't Natalie anymore.

My fingers curled over her wrist, pulling her closer before I pressed my lips into hers, silencing the rest of her words. She was driving me crazy with her disobedience, with her defiance, and her big mouth that never missed a chance to insult me every fucking time. I acted out of character and kissed her for god's sake, for a second too long before she slammed her fists into my chest, shaking me in and pushing me away. I broke the contact and all I felt was her palm meeting my cheek right after, the slap came with so much force I'd be lying to say it didn't hurt.

Her eyes were wide with anger, with tears, with the shock that I kissed her and the surprise that she slapped me, and the fear of how I would react to all of that. My jaw tightened I almost heard it snap under the aggression. With my tight hold over her arm, I pushed her backward till her back crashed against the wall. I caged her in, my grip tightening over her arm when she tried to escape and I grated out, "Don't forget who I am, and who you are, you get that."

She still tried to act strong, "Then don't you dare kiss me again," She shot back, bewildered at my audacity.

My eyebrow raised, "If you forgot, let me remind you, you are my wife," I pointed out.

"That means shit!" She shot back right away, her chest heaving with each harsh breath she drew in and out.

She tried to break free and I pinned her against the wall again, my fingers curling over her chin, forcing her to look at me, "Like I said when you first got here, you behave, I leave you alone," I reminded her, "You don't," I added, my jaw tightening, my grip bruising her, "I'll bury you ten feet under."

I blinked through the haze, through the blurriness, trying to focus my eyesight. My heart felt like it was about to ram a hole right through my chest and jump out. The anxiety gripped me by the throat and I tried to kick myself back in, the blurry lines faded away one by one till I could finally see Natalie again, standing across from me, a confused innocent look in her eyes, brows quenched in question, "Are you okay?"

No, definitely not.

I nodded my head, my hands that were wrapping her in, I retreated them back rather fast, letting her go, my skin was on fire I felt like I could burn her, "You sure?" She asked, sensing the sudden shift in my mood.

I couldn't breathe.

"Yeah," I gulped down, backing away, "Let's leave."

I was already heading downstairs, and Natalie tried to catch up with me. I needed to get out, I desperately needed the fresh air. I tried to suck in as much oxygen as I could but it didn't work. Natalie didn't ask if I was okay again as I opened the car's door and urged her to get in. She didn't need to ask but she could read it all over my face.

I closed her door and rounded my way to the other side. I stayed out there for a second or two, my eyes pressed shut and I counted to ten in my head. I reached for the pill's bottle in my pocket and pulled it out. I took out two, maybe it was even three. I brought my hand to my mouth and swallowed them down.

Something was just so wrong but I couldn't figure out what it was.

I rushed a shaking hand through my hair before I got into the car, I roared the engine to life and drove off, feeling Natalie's wary gaze flickering all over me all the time. Minutes passed, the pills started to take their effect, and my heartbeats started to calm down, the chaos in my brain reached a halt and I could finally breathe again.

I was okay.

Okay, I was okay.

*****************************

What could possibly be happening? xD

Here is a little teaser for next chapter:

Alex's POV

Oh god, oh my god. He is gonna kill me. He is actually gonna kill me. He is gonna kill me. Ah. Heisgonnakillme.

"Nik, Nikolas," I tried to speak, my eyes drifting down to the knife pressed against my neck, ready to slit my throat any second now and my eyes widened again. Heisgonnakillme.

"Uh, it's me, Alex, you know, your brother Alex, your buddy Alex, the one that you love a lot," I added. If I am to move slightly, he is gonna cut right through my vein, "The one you don't actually want dead, you know?"

Poor Alex xD

Anyways, hope you liked the chapter, events will pick up from here going on till we reach the final battle. Y'all better not think that Isaac is sitting aside and just watching Nik be happy. We all know that he won't stay silent for too long xD

See ya soon! ;)