It's a very long chapter; so, happy reading ;)

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Five months Later...

Natalie's POV

Today is a good day.

Well, kind of.

Well, not exactly really that good—

I mean, it's...

You know what, it's a good day. I am learning to be thankful for the little things, considering I have nothing else to be grateful for but those damnded little tiny things.

Little things —like the fact that this is my first time dining outside the house, in a very nice restaurant by the way, since almost six months ago.

Another tiny little thing, I am wearing a cute dress. A really cute summer dress that I got on sale at a very convenient price last year but couldn't get the chance to wear up till now.

It's white, reaching right above my knees, and it has this delicate, flowing silhouette, made from a lightweight fabric that keeps moving with every gentle summer breeze. Not to mention, its sweetheart neckline is giving the illusion that my moderately sized girlies —as I like to refer to them, are somehow a size bigger than they actually are. So, win-win.

Another little thing I could be thankful for, is that I actually applied some makeup on my face. I couldn't remember the last time I used a beauty product or pampered myself, but today, I did.

One more thing to be grateful for; I received an email this morning, from one of the hundreds of thousands of different companies, hospitals, and organizations I've been applying for, stating that they want to have a job interview with me tomorrow.

Oh, I didn't mention it, right...So, I am kind of unemployed. Well, not kind of; I have been fully-a-hundered-percent unemployed for the past three months.

Yeah, awesome, right?

And no, they didn't kick me out. I expected them to, but they didn't for some reason. I resigned. I already hated that job, already felt like a fraud at it, adding to my wavering mental health after losing Nathan and another someone I decided not to mention his name ever again, I quit, aiming for a fresh start, and have been using up all of my savings since then.

Anyway, back to being thankful for the little things.

Those damned little things.

Well...I think they're over.

So yeah, those were my little things.

Now, back to the present; where my little things are slipping right in between my fingers.

I kept glaring at my car, my useless stupid car that decided to break down just as the nice valet man was about to take and park it away. Frustration welled up in me all over again, thinking about how much fixing this damn thing will cost me. Unable to keep my frustration in, I edged closer and harshly kicked one of its wheels, "Take that!" I lowly hissed at the stupid excuse of metal and engine.

I looked down at my cute sandals and let out a suppressed groan before I stomped on my feet. noticing how kicking the stupid dirty wheel left little black marks on its white edges.

Today is a ba...

Breathe in, Nate, and breathe out. Today is a good day.

See, meditation is helping with my growing anger, stress, and anxiety. It's keeping me in control of my own thoughts. I call this an improvement.

God, it sucks when you know so much that you can diagnose your symptoms. If I was my own therapist, I'd probably lock myself in an asylum.

Letting out a low exhale, I allowed my eyelids to drop down for a second or two. Breathing helped sometimes. Calm and easy. Calm. I gathered all of my strength and control, trying to pull on the normal-happy-grateful-good-girl act, so my friends inside wouldn't think I was insane. I am the only one allowed to think that of myself.

"Yeah, you told me about that a hundred times before—"

Words and letters pierced right through and shattered my serenity. My eyes snapped open, widening slightly as my ears registered a —familiar voice. Oh god, I am really insane. I am starting to imagine and hallucinate things now.

Has my condition progressed this badly?

Oh dear god...

"Okay, you...wait—just, for the love of god just shut up, my head hurts," Oh no, here it was again and it was close, it's so damn close.

Feeling the air get stuck in my throat, slowly and ever so carefully, I moved my body around, freezing in my spot as my gaze fell on —who shall not be named.

Yeah, he was my very own Voldemort.

He was standing, right there, right across and not that far away from me. This is the closest we've been since; since how many months ago? Five months. Five months, and five days. It's not like I was counting or anything.

It seemed that he had just gotten out of the same restaurant I was about to enter. He took a step forward, and waited by the sidewalk, a phone pressed to his ear, his mouth moving in words, eyes flickering to his left, trying to catch up with his gaze on the valet who was about to bring him his car. His hand moved and he casually tucked it in his front pocket, the muscles of his arms flexed beneath his sleeves at the very simple act.

God, I never thought it was possible, but he looks even better than before.

I never thought there was another level, but he just trespassed it.

On the outside; he is the definition of utter perfection. He looks impenetrable in his black suit and white dress shirt, as if nothing can touch him, no one can harm him.

And I feel this thing; this force, this gravity—

Gravity; wasn't that the force that pulls you downward, so why was it pulling me to an object parallel to me?

I was never good at physics, anyway.

But, this gravitational pull, it got amplified the further I looked at this man —the one who made me feel like I am falling down even when I am standing still.

I felt dizzy; almost like my whole world was spinning out of control.

See, gravity doesn't work like it's explained in books. Sir Newton needs to reconsider his theories.

I kept looking at him as he hung up, then he pushed his phone into his pocket. The valet came and handed him the keys but before he could move, before he could step down and get in, and almost as if he felt me, or sensed my gaze, maybe even heard my labored breaths and erratic heartbeats, because he froze there for a second and then, he turned his head. His eyes moved and met my own.

They flared when they saw me. A fire lit up in that forest. In his-

His green eyes.

His achingly familiar, painful, beautiful green eyes.

He inhaled, very slowly, his chest expanding, his hand curling a little at his sides as he looked at me.

I looked back at him.

I wanted to turn around, to run away, to...to escape, to flee, to leave the earth and settle in a faraway galaxy where I wouldn't be able to reach him.

He blinked, gaining back his composure, and his expression shifted back to normal, like nothing happened, almost like I was no one, or just like anyone else. Then, he stepped closer, toward me, another step, and my heart knocked it up a notch, and one last step before he paused, so close it should be socially unacceptable.

His lips twitched, just a bit, "Natalie."

My name rolled out so beautifully off that tongue...oh that tongue, it's a sin to know what that tongue is capable of.

He looked exactly as I remember. Better. Larger than life, and more irresistible than ever.

I forced my facial muscles to move, to pick up an expression, and involuntarily, the corner of my lips lifted, just slightly as I whispered, "Nikolas."

His face is perfectly shaven today, his lips so full I could almost feel them on my skin. His smell, a mix of aftershave and his intoxicating cologne, I felt it in the depths of my brain, pushing and pulling at my memories.

God, he's the very devil in Armani; Square-jawed, that edible mouth that I've tasted so many times, broad, big, tall, and surrounded by this aura that's like nothing you've seen, gleaming dark hair, and penetrating eyes. The best eyes I've ever seen.

"Hey," I added, swallowing hard as I felt my throat scratching, dry, and in need of hydration.

"Hey," He responded back, his gaze flickering over my face, remembering me like I was just remembering him.

"You just came out of the restaurant I was about to get into," I said, trying to find sentences and words, trying to keep my brain busy before it crashes. My lips twitched again and my head tilted a bit, "It's really a small world, huh."

He nodded his head, his eyes falling into my smile before they found my eyes again, "It is," He said, his expression calm, serene, and peaceful. He looks like he has a lot of those little tiny things to be thankful for. Maybe even more than my little things.

"How, how are you?" I asked, I needed to keep talking, "How is everything?"

He nodded his head, "All good."

"And you?"

I gave him a low shrug, "Surviving."

He blinked and those eyes, they didn't look away yet; it felt like they were looking right into my soul, seeing the most twisted darkest part of me, and he looked like wanted to free it.

His throat bobbed, muscles moving in his jaw and his burning gaze finally let go of my eyes, it drifted to my hair and he smiled; it was one of his soft smiles, rare and reserved only for me, "Your hair," he commented softly, "It looks different."

Involuntarily, my hand went there, nervously running my fingers through the end strands. I had managed to make it a bit wavy today, trying to change something in my appearance, trying to cling to the little things, "Just added a bit of wave into it," I mumbled.

He nodded, "It's beautiful," God, he was breathing into every world; was his voice always this deep and so mouth-watering, "It suits you."

You know something; I guess today is a good day after all.

I felt the hotness creep into my face and I felt stupid for picking white as my dress choice, it managed to highlight the blush creeping beneath my skin and made it look more prominent, "Thanks," I mumbled, "Yours look a bit different too," I added, taking notice of how it made him look so much better, "It's shorter on the sides," God, why are we talking about hair again?

I swallowed hard and added, "It suits you."

He nodded, "I know."

My eyebrow raised at his confidence and my heart crashed to the ground, when that smile grew a bit wider, one corner up then the other and I was a gone case. He never looked more beautiful; Well, maybe just when he was naked and on top of me but other than that...Okaaay Nate, okay, we need to put a lid on those thoughts, lock them, bury them, and never look back. The inner therapist in me, who was treating me over the past months said, and I wanted to push her off a cliff.

Logical, think-with-your-mind, psychologist Natalie was annoying, I didn't like her.

"So, uh, wha—" I tried to speak more but was immediately cut off by the sound of his name being called from somewhere so near.

"Nikolas."

The words got hitched in my throat and Nikolas turned his head around, his eyes falling on the woman who just called his name, with a voice so smooth and accented. Heels clicked against the sidewalk and my gaze found the voice's owner as she moved closer to us, her eyes, green and big, glimmered as she met his gaze.

She paused when she was so close and instinctively, he turned his whole body around so he could face her, leaving me staring at his back, almost like he was covering me up. The fuck—

I tilted my head and looked back at the woman, red hair flew and fell smoothly around her round face, her olive skin sparkling beneath the moonlight, her grey skirt too short, or maybe her legs were just so long. She wore a matching grey blazer on top, and a little white crop underneath it. Every little detail on her face was utter perfection like she was sculptured meticulously by the gods themselves.

Holy hell, she's so beautiful.

And I didn't like that.

"It's always a pleasure doing business with you," The beautiful red-headed woman with the short skirt said, and she leaned closer, bringing her perfectly manicured fingers forward, and that's when it clicked; She came out of the restaurant, the same restaurant, the one he was in minutes ago, meaning they...they were inside together.

Nikolas smiled back, he freaking smiled, and extended his hand forward, wrapping it around hers, those big strong fingers of his enveloping hers wholly, "Likewise."

My eyes felt like they were about to pop out of my head. Since when does he smile at people?

My gaze flickered to their interlocked hands and I felt like I was about to burst and combust; when did he become so damn touchy...especially with beautiful women?

You know what; I take it back. Today is not a good day.

Today will never be a good day.

Her smile was warm and just so sweet, it was dripping sugar and I suddenly felt diabatic. Finally, finally, they let go of each other's hands. Good, one second longer and I was gonna bring a priest to bless this union.

"I will see you tomorrow, then," The pretty lady added and I tried so badly to figure out the origin of her accent but failed.

"Yeah, sure. I'll see you there," Nikolas responded back, so smoothly, so calmly. I mean, what happened to his usual grumpy angry tone? Who in god's name is this man?

And...and I wanna kill Ronald. He tells me stupid little details like when he buys a new pair of pants but he fails to inform me that Nikolas made a pretty girlfriend for himself. I am gonna rip his little head off.

The pretty lady's eyes flickered to me, and she sweetly nodded her head, "Have a nice evening," She said, ever so angelically and I wanted to die. Why does she have to be, look, and act so damn good?

Nikolas bid her goodbye and she strode away, heading for her car.

I wasn't responsible for the expression I was making as I glared at her perfect back. Nikolas, finally looking away from his new girlfriend's retreating back, turned around to face me again, just now recalling that I existed.

I tried to force on a blank neutral expression and I don't know if it worked. My jaw tightened slightly and Nikolas was the one to speak, ever so casually, like he didn't just push me to hell and pull me out, "You were saying?"

Is this why he looks so good, is it the whole new girlfriend's glow and whatnot?

Was I the only one heartbroken and grieving our relationship over the past months?

"I—" I wanted to leave, to go back home.

I felt like crying. My little things weren't enough anymore.

"Nate, what are you still doing out here, c'mon inside," Malcolm's voice broke into our conversation, and god, I was never more thankful for him, he finally granted me an escape before I shattered at the seams. Nikolas heard him too, his head turning around, his eyes falling on Malcolm as he stood by the restaurant's door, looking at us.

He pointed inside, "C'mon," He urged again, rushing me, "Can't start without you," Malcolm added.

"I will be there in a second," I responded, all of my energy depleted.

He gave me a nod, and then his eyes flickered to Nikolas, recognizing him instantly. He offered him a small smile followed by a curt nod of his head before he disappeared back inside. Nikolas's attention stayed there, focused on the door for a second too long and I watched as his fingers on the side twitched before he curled them into a fist.

Then, he turned his head back to me, his expression back to neutral, "I guess you're needed inside," He said, his tone normal but the twitch in his jaw was not to be missed by me. I nodded my head because I wanted to fill in his little illusion that I was here with Malcolm all alone. Maybe he will think I moved on, too.

"Yeah, I should go," I said and Nikolas nodded his head, he took a step backward, "I'll see you around," He muttered, coldly before he fully turned his body and strode down the street, far away from me.

My jaw tightened and I still couldn't move myself and walk inside. I rushed my hands over my face, my frustration doubling, "I wanna go home," I mumbled into my palms. I should've stayed there. What was I trying to do by going out and pretending to be normal? Who am I deceiving but myself?

"Nate, what in god's name are you still doing outside, we need to start ordering, I am starving-," Sarah's voice made me lower my palms, sadly watching her as she walked out of the restaurant and toward me. Lines etched her forehead when she was near and caught my pout, "What's wrong?" She mumbled in worry.

I lifted my hand and pointed ahead at his retreating back. She followed the direction of my finger, her eyes falling on Nik's back. Her eyebrows pulled closer before she turned to me, confused, "Is that," She said, shocked a bit, "Is that Nikolas?"

I nodded my head. She knows things, but she doesn't know everything. I was never good at sharing all of my secrets, feelings, and troubles with anyone. Well, except him. I shared it all with him only.

Sarah sighed, loudly and she rushed a hand over her face, trying to keep calm before she focused on me, "Nate, you are my friend," She said, moving her hands and resting them over my shoulders, "And you are so beautiful and you are so nice, and probably the best babysitter I've got, but," She tilted her head to the side, "But baby, you are so stupid."

My eyes widened at the direct insult, "Hey!"

"You give the best advice but somehow you fail to give it to yourself," She said, "Do you remember back at college, when Steve and I broke up and how you pushed me till I fought and fixed it all," She said, soothingly running her hand over my arm, "If it wasn't for that, he and I would've probably not even be married now, and I would've not had those two crazy kids at home," She added, a soft smile gracing her lips at the memories.

"You don't tell me everything and you are this closed book but still, I get it, I can read you sometimes," She added, bringing her hand to my hair and tucking it behind my ear, "And I know that you want him, and the Natalie I know is a fighter, she doesn't give up easily and she goes after what she wants."

"Something is holding you back, I don't know what it is, but," She shook her head, "Whatever it is, don't let it take away your happiness," She said, "Just listen to your heart, hear him out, he knows the answer, sometimes even better than," She poked the side of my head, addressing my brain, "Better than this."

My chest ached, "That's a nice advice," I mumbled lowly, sadness quenching my brows.

Sarah smiled, "Someone wise once gave it to me."

My lips broke into a somber smile and Sarah moved my body around, she pushed at my arms, "No, come on, move, quickly before you can no longer find him, come on," She added in a hurry, urging me to step up and go after him.

I was about to run off and then paused, "But I promised Malcolm—"

"I will deal with Malcolm, go!"

And I sprinted off, going down the direction Nikolas had taken, running, and running. I was so thankful I picked my comfy sandals today instead of heels, that would've been a disaster. I kept running till I saw a glimpse of his back. My chest soared and I only started to slow my steps when I was getting close.

Nikolas sensed that a crazy girl was running behind him because he paused and turned around, prompting me to finally halt to a stop.

Confused lines pulled between his eyebrows when he noticed my presence and edged closer, "Natalie, what —" His eyes flickered over me and behind me and then back to me, trying to comprehend how I ran all the way here.

My hands fell onto my hips as I gasped for my next breath, "Oh god, why does this look so much easier in the movies," I grumbled under my breath, my lungs on literal fire, literally wheezing before I straightened up and rubbed my aching chest, trying to catch up with my pants, "I really should start going to the gym, god," I mumbled, feeling a bit dizzy as if all the blood got drained from my brain.

Nikolas stared back at me, lost and confused, trying to understand and waiting for me to say something and explain.

I gulped down, just now realizing that I didn't exactly know what to say, "Jesus, I should've probably practiced this beforehand, how do people usually start these things," I said, the frown on Nikolas's face tightened as he listened to me ramble on, "I mean, back there," I pointed behind me, "You know when, uh," I said, gathering myself together, "What I am trying to say is...do you wanna go sit somewhere and have a coffee?" I asked, "But wait, it's night and late, coffee won't work, uh, we...we can have tea?" I suggested then facepalmed, "But you hate tea," I added, "We can have wine or juice, or not have a thing at all, the beverage doesn't count, it's just can we...I mean-" I was panting again and I sucked into a deep calming breath, "Do you wanna come over?"

Nikolas stared back at me, dumbfounded and I gulped down.

Oh dear god, if he says no, I'd die.

I shrugged, "I just want us to catch up, I mean it's been what...four months since we last saw each other and—"

"Five months and five days," he corrected me midsentence and my heart leaped. Oh dear god, he is counting too?

My face was red, from running, from the heat, from embarrassing myself, and from everything he is, "Uh-huh, yeah, that. So, it's been a while, maybe we can just sit and talk. It'll be all innocent, I promise."

His eyes flickered all over my face but his expression was unreadable, his eyes unreachable, I started to ache again, "Isn't there somewhere else you should be at?" He questioned, most probably referring to Malcolm.

Sighing, I nodded my head, "I should be there," I mumbled lowly, scolding myself for being such a bad friend, "It's Malcolm and the engagement and—"

And just like that, all the color left his face.

He suddenly looked sick.

Like he is about to faint.

Or maybe like he was about to kill me, I wasn't sure exactly.

My eyes widened at how that must've sounded, "Not...not to me, I might add. He is getting engaged to this other woman, a doctor actually, at the hospital with him, she is really nice, her name is Olivia, you should meet her, she is a gynecologist, which is what I once wanted to be but you know what happened and how I switched majors and— I am going off-topic here," I swallowed the saliva gathering in my mouth because I was talking nonstop, "So, we gathered here to celebrate their engagement, that's all."

"Oh," Nikolas said, slowly recovering from the mini-heart attack I've given him.

I nodded my head, "Yeah, oh," I mumbled lowly.

"That's...nice," He said, "I guess I should delete him from my list then, and probably get him a wedding present or something."

I chuckled lowly, "You still have a list?"

He nodded his head, a small smile breaking through, "I'll always have a list."

"Who's on it now?"

His eyebrow raised, "Ronald takes the first row, of course."

I smiled and nodded, "Yeah, of course, he tends to do that to you."

"With you away, it's harder to tolerate him," he added.

And I wanted to say that I can fix that...that I don't have to be away anymore but I've scared him enough for one day.

"So, uh, about that coffee?" I asked, rubbing a hand over my neck, "Or tea or whatever?"

He gazed at me for a second too long and when he didn't respond, that red-headed woman's face flashed behind my lids and my jaw tightened, "Unless you have someone waiting for you," I added, bitterness in my tone.

His eyebrows pulled closer and simply shook his head.

"You sure?" I grumbled, my fingers curling over my dress, "Not even that beautiful woman?"

His confusion deepened, "Which beautiful woman?"

I rolled my eyes at him, "The perfect tall redhead with the piercing green eyes, the skirt and heels, and the accent," I explained, each word feeding into my accumulating rage.

His eyebrows pulled closer, "You mean Aurora?"

"God, even her name is beautiful," I grumbled. It wasn't fair.

My words broke that confused look and his lips twitched and he tried to fight his smile but he failed. He tipped his head down, and a low laugh, a musical sound to my ears came from him, god, even his laugh sounded rich, deep, and smooth, like everything he is.

"Don't laugh," I grumbled, annoyed.

He ran his thumb over his lower lip, amusement dancing in his eyes as he gazed at me, "Why exactly would she be waiting for me?"

I shrugged, "I don't know, you were already making plans for tomorrow and all."

Nikolas's eyebrow raised, "Aurora and I, we are just doing business together."

My eyes narrowed at him, "You know, it doesn't sound so innocent when you say it like that."

Amusement danced over the corner of his lips, it glimmered in his eyes as he edged closer, staring at me like I was this adorable thing he wanted to take into his arms and never let go off. His hand reached for my lower back, gently resting there and urging me to walk, "Besides, honey, she'd be more interested in you than in me," he added, confusing me at first before my eyes widened in realization.

"Oh?" I gaped at him.

He nodded his head, "Yeah, Natalie, oh," He said.

"Wow," I mumbled. Now that I knew she was on the girl's team, I've become more interested, "Is she single?" I asked, wiggling my eyebrows at him.

He read my expression and shot me a glare, "I mean come on, anyone would want to hit that," I spoke and Nikolas's eyebrow raised, "Hit that?" He questioned my choice of words.

I shrugged, "What do you want me to say," I said, reciting the synonyms of having sex, "Shag that? Boink that?" I said, chuckling lowly because I had so many, "Have coitus?" I added, "Bump uglies? Put the bread in the oven? Do the Devil's Tango-" The rest of my words came out muffled as Nikolas pressed his palm over my mouth, shushing me.

I stared up at him, ever so innocently, and behind that annoyance, there was still amusement and a hundred other different things, "Move your hand or I'll lick you," I mumbled into his palm.

Oh, was I not dying to lick him all over...

When he didn't move his hand, I licked the inside of his palm. His eyes widened slightly and he pulled back, "You crazy girl," He mumbled under his breath and I proudly said, "Warned ya."

He shook his head with a sigh as we resumed walking and then it clicked. My eyebrows pulled closer as I looked behind us and then ahead to the way we were walking, "Wait, if your car is over there," I pointed out ahead, "Why were you walking in the opposite direction?"

"Because Natalie, I was trying to calm myself down before I go into the restaurant and kill a certain someone who used to be on my list," He said, and involuntarily, my lips curled up, smiling. He noticed my smile and I tried to hide it as I looked away from him. God, I've missed him. Missed all of his crazy self. Missed the way he smelled, the way his palm felt over my lower back. Missed letting go of everything whenever I was around him.

"We gonna have to use your car, by the way," I said, regaining my composure, "Mine decided to break down."

His eyebrows pulled closer, "What happened?"

I shook my head, an angry huffed breath pushed off my chest, "I don't wanna talk about it," I grumbled.

We reached his car and being the perfect gentleman, he opened the door for me and I recalled just how much I missed his not-very-gentle side, too; How he'd pin me into the wall, and kiss the life out of me...Nate, what did I fucking say? Oh, here she is again, ruining my fun and fantasies!

I was so busy fantasizing about him and fighting with my inner self that I failed to notice the sleek lines of his brand-new car until it practically gleamed in front of me. My eyes widened with awe as I took in every detail of its interior, sinking into the plush leather seats with a sense of wonder, "New car?" I murmured in astonishment, my fingers tracing over the meticulously crafted surfaces.

"Not exactly new, but yeah," Nikolas said as he settled in his seat and I felt a wave of pleasure wash over me. God, I always had a soft spot for sporty cars and his collection of them is like nothing I've seen before.

"Aston Martin DB9?" I questioned, though I was fairly certain of the model.

"Yeah," Nikolas nodded, his lips curling slightly as he watched me drink into every little detail, "God, I feel like I am in a James Bond movie," I added in awe, drinking and touching everything I could reach for.

"Oh wow, I think I need to lay down a bit, your car is giving me one hell of an orgasm," I mumbled, my mouth moving on its own without getting orders from my brain, "I would so do the Devil's Tango with this car," I added and Nikolas chuckled at my unfiltered thoughts and words, a low throaty one that made me want to throw caution into the wind and just jump on him; Having sex in this car has just been added to my long list of places.

He has his list, and I have mine. Two very different lists but both are very pleasurable to their corresponding owner.

I looked at him, my smile big and delighted, "Nikolas, if you don't speed full force down the highway, I will be so disappointed in you," I said, needing that little thrilling feeling, that excitement, the ecstasy.

He gave me a knowing look, "How could you ever doubt me?"

I shook my head, "Never," I said, constantly shifting in my seat due to my excitement. He is making my list of little things to be thankful for to get longer by the second, how can he do that, ever so easily and effortlessly?

"Buckle up," He said and I fastened my seatbelt as he pulled the car away from the restaurant and down the road, "Oh, by the way, I should give you my new address, I moved out of my old apa—"

"Yeah, I know," He responded back so quickly, so casually, it had me pause and turn to him, my eyes narrowing in suspicion, "How do you know?"

He sensed his mistake right away, I saw it in the way he shifted in his seat, cleared his throat, and slightly tightened his grip over the wheel, "Ronald...told me," He said, going for the safest defense there is.

My eyebrow raised, "So, you and Ronald sit and talk about me moving out into a new house?"

He glanced at me and tried to shake it off with a casual shrug, "I mean, some...times," he mumbled and I nodded my head, the suspicion never leaving my narrowed gaze.

"Anyway," I interjected, "I'll let it slide this time, but only because I want to fully experience this car," I explained as Nikolas merged onto the highway. He cast a quick glance into the rearview mirror, ensuring the coast was clear, before turning to me, "Ready?"

A grin spread across my face, "Born ready, baby," I replied, earning a smile from him before he began to accelerate, slowly at first, then faster and faster.

As the car picked up speed, the rush of wind from the open windows tousled my hair and sent exhilaration coursing through my veins. The world outside blurred into a mosaic of colors as we zipped down the road, the landscape whizzing past in a thrilling blur.

With each passing mile, the sensation of freedom grew stronger, amplified by the roar of the engine and the pulse of adrenaline rushing through my veins. It was a feeling of liberation, of being unburdened by worries or constraints, as we raced forward with nothing but an open road ahead.

God, I haven't...haven't felt anything similar in so long.

At that moment, nothing else mattered except the thrill of the ride, the wind in our hair, and the boundless possibility stretching out before us. God, I never wanted it to end, it was unlike any other thing, filled me with an intoxicating sense of freedom, a shot of heroin right into my blood.

He started to slow down and I wanted to cry out, to stay locked down in this little moment forever, it felt like if he stopped, I'd cry, and I was just so sick of crying, of missing, of grieving. I noticed we were entering my neighborhood, causing his speed to decline down till the car fully stopped by my new apartment's block and I ushered him to use the underground parking.

My gaze fell into the side mirror as he descended, gazing at myself; I noticed the pink hue of my cheeks, the ecstatic curve of my smile, the twinkle of excitement in my eyes, and the faint blush spreading across my neck and exposed skin. Collapsing back into my seat, I felt the lingering effects of adrenaline leaving me achy and drained.

Nikolas expertly parked the car in an available space, and as I turned to face him, I found his gaze already fixed on me.

"I haven't felt like this in so long," I mumbled, honestly.

He nodded his head, his warm gaze flickering over every detail on my face, "I can see that," He said.

The longer I gazed at him, being so close to me, the proximity of us breathing the same air, it left me aching and longing. It made me want to do all types of irrational things and add more to my list of little things so it could suffice me for another year. All these troubling thoughts tumbled through my head, they tightened my chest and had me gulping down. I tried to straighten myself, unbuckling my seatbelt, "Let's go down," I mumbled lowly, shaking myself out of this never-ending lavender haze.

Stepping out of the car, I straightened my dress, which had ridden up slightly, and ran my fingers through my hair, attempting to tame the wind-induced chaos. Nikolas locked the car and joined me as we headed for the entrance. His touch, a feather-like caress on my lower back and I sank into it, aching for him, in every way possible.

As we rode the elevator to my floor, I stole glances at us through the mirrored walls. A smile crept onto my face involuntarily. God, it's almost like we were made only for each other, the way we fit next to one another, it's almost unreal, or maybe the fact that I've shared so much with him, more than I did with anyone else, it branded him deep into my veins, imprinted him on my very being, and wove him into the fabric of my existence, my blood, and DNA.

I felt hotness creep beneath my skin again, I felt agitated and nervous under the impact of all of this. While he— he seemed so normal, calm, and in utter control. I would kill to learn what's going through his head at this moment.

Did he miss me as I missed him?

Did he think of me, every day, just like I did?

Did he unravel at the mere thought of all that we lost?

We reached my apartment and I shook those melancholic thoughts far away. I pulled my keys from my purse, trying to keep my hands steady as I unlocked my door and got inside, ushering Nikolas to walk in as well.

Massie, now aware of the other presences in the house, jumped from wherever she was resting and came running. She paused when she reached our sides, her eyes up on us, her tail swinging left and right before she walked past me and reached for Nikolas, dropping down by his feet, aching for his affection. God, she was just like me, wasn't she? Just as hopeless and stupid.

Nikolas surprised me, no scratch that, he made my eyes widen and my mouth drop open when he crouched down, his hand reaching and scratching her furry tummy, all while smiling down at her, almost like he...he missed her, maybe? I am not sure, I am losing sense of my left arm, is that normal?

Massie took in every touch and caress, sinking into his gentle touch, and I've never been jealous of her up till this moment. Yeah, even my cat is living a better life than I am...

Look at me slowly hit rock bottom every single day.

"Uh, I will go and change," I interjected into their little intimate moment, "Just make yourself comfortable."

His gaze flickered up to me and he nodded his head, "Okay."

Retreating to my room, I closed the door behind me and took a deep breath, feeling as if I might collapse to the floor at any moment. I laid out one of my pajama sets on the bed and attempted to unzip my dress from the back. However, the zipper seemed to have jammed, refusing to budge no matter how hard I tugged. Damn it, no wonder I got it at a discounted price.

After many failed attempts, I just gave up. A low groan rumbled from my throat and I angrily pushed my feet into my slippers. Calm and easy, Natalie, Calm and fucking easy.

I left my room and headed to my living room. One different thing about this apartment is that the kitchen was American-styled, adjoined to the living room in an open space.

Upon entering, my gaze landed on Nikolas, who had shed his suit jacket and casually draped it over one of the chairs. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up, and a few buttons were left undone. Damn him and his seductive techniques.

Our eyes met, and his brows furrowed slightly, "I thought you were going to change," he remarked, prompting a nod from me. Barely containing my frustration, I grumbled, "Yeah, but the damned zipper is jammed," as I rummaged through a drawer to retrieve a pot.

Nikolas rose from his seat and approached me, his demeanor casual despite the simmering tension between us, "I can help with that," he offered, ever so casually, like the mere thought of his fingers on my back, on my bare skin didn't unravel all of my sanity.

"Uh—" I hesitated, at a loss for words.

His eyebrow raised, "It's a beautiful dress, you don't want to stain it, would you?"

I silently shook my head and when he was so close, instinctively, I turned my body around, so my back was to him. I brought my hand closer to the zipper and pointed, "Uh here, it's jammed a bit," I mumbled.

He was so fucking close and he nodded his head, his eyes only on me, "Yeah, I can take care of that," He said, his voice so low, or maybe I stopped hearing probably as he edged even closer. I immediately turned my head around, fully giving him my back, because no god is stopping me from jumping his bones with that proximity.

I felt the warmth of his fingers against my skin as they grazed over my back, slowly easing the zipper downward. Each touch, though innocent, ignited a wild desire to churn within me, to course through my chest and deep into my veins. His breath, hot against my skin, brushed and intensified the sensation, leaving me dizzy and unsteady on my feet. I clung to the countertop for support, desperate to anchor myself against the overwhelming rush of sensation.

I felt like I'd fall, right back into his beautiful trap.

The zipper was undone, but Nikolas didn't let go yet, if possible, he moved closer, like he wanted to envelop every cell of me with his. His face hovered tantalizingly close to mine, his breath mingling with my hair. In a slow, deliberate motion, he traced a gentle, feather-like line with the back of his finger, starting from the end of the zipper and trailing all the way up to the base of my neck.

As his touch made contact, a shiver raced down my spine, causing my eyelids to flutter closed. I surrendered to the sensation, losing myself in the electrifying connection that still binds me to this man.

My head fell backward, just a bit, and that brought us even closer. It had his nose brushing against my neck, his lips hovering, a milli-meter away, lingering but not touching nor moving. A stuttering breath pushed out of my aching lungs, and Nikolas's hand dropped from my back, it moved over my waist, his palm pressed over my stomach, pulling me back till I crashed fully into him, surrounded by his warmness from every corner.

I felt his lips leave a very little soft kiss over the top of my shoulder, "Those were the hardest five months and five days I've ever been through, Natalie," he whispered into my skin and my eyelids fluttered open, taken aback by his tortured admission.

I turned my head, tilting it to the side slightly, just so I could see him. His eyes were both comforting and killing me, hot and cold, fire and earth, closed off but at the same time they seemed to be stripping me bare, "I missed you so much," he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper, yet it echoed loudly within me, stirring emotions I thought I had buried.

My vision blurred slightly and I felt them glisten but I didn't allow them to trespass, "I missed you too," I murmured, my voice barely audible over the tumultuous beating of my heart, "So much."

His eyes took notice of the look in mine, and I sensed a shift in the air between us. A ragged breath escaped his lips, and inexplicably, he seemed to withdraw from me, an opposing force pushing him away. His hand fell to his side, and he took a step back, putting distance between us. With a shaky gesture, he ran a hand over his face, "Sorry," his words barely audible as he muttered, "I got...carried away."

I wanted to shake my head, to move forward and have him engulf me again, to get carried away in this together, but I held myself back, "I will quickly change and be back," I opted to run instead and walked out with hurried footsteps, reaching my room and crashing over my bed.

I buried my face in my hands and let out a muffled groan. I tried to talk myself into it, to calm down, to mediate in my head, to think of good things, to pretend all was okay in the world and I pulled myself up, changed my dress into my pink Minnie Mouse pajama set, choosing the safest option ever. He would see me in this and get turned off immediately, saving us both the trouble.

I pulled my hair into a high ponytail and walked back into the confined space that could suffocate us. Nikolas's eyes fell into my new attire and his lips twitched, fighting his smile, and he looked away from me. Glaring at him, I grumbled, "What are you smiling at?"

He shook his head and turned to me, "Nothing."

"It's something," I mumbled, filling the pot with water and placing it on the stove, "You're mocking my choice of pajamas," I added.

He shook his head, "Not that," he said, "I think it's cute, how you think that this could save you from me," He said, totally understanding my motives. Damn him and his sharp mind that never quits.

Redness crept into my skin and I resumed to ignore him, "So, coffee?" I asked.

Nikolas shook his head, "That disgusting tea of yours would do just fine," He said, ever so sweetly that I wanted to punch his handsome face.

My eyebrow raised, "You hate it," I pointed out.

He nodded, "But I want it."

So infuriating, isn't he?

I shrugged, "As you please," I mumbled as I resumed preparing my special mix of herbal tea.

"So, how is Alex?" I asked, fishing for any conversation that didn't include us.

"He is fine," Nikolas responded, taking a seat across from me on the stool, "As annoying as ever."

I smiled, my heart calming down by the second, "Yeah, no doubts there."

"And Lilly, how's she doing?"

Her name was alone to give me that look that I love so much on him, "She will be going to pre-school soon," He said, "You should see her uniform and her little backpack," He added, a hint of pride in his voice and his soft tone melting my heart.

My smile grew wider, "God, she must look so adorable."

"She does."

"And Emma?" I asked, "Ronald did tell me a few things, about what happened," I added and Nikolas nodded his head, "Yeah, she is doing great," he answered, "She is right where she belongs."

And you? Are you where you belong? I wanted to ask more; to dig deeper into his life, to learn everything, to understand what type of business he was doing with that breathtaking redhead.

When the tea was done, I poured us two cups, our conversation taking a smoother more comfortable approach as we caught up on the past months. I settled on the stool across from his and rested his cup on the countertop. I told him about my jobless life and how I finally scored an interview tomorrow.

It was just me who shared about her life, while he remained a bit closed-up, unwilling to dive into further details.

"Dad has been staying in our old house, the one you got for me," I answered when he asked about him, "He loves it there," I added, still in disbelief at how once upon a time he did this for me.

"But I...uh, I couldn't stay there longer," I added, my hand wrapping over my warm cup, "Too many memories, I didn't need them, especially not now, not when I am going through...this."

Nikolas nodded in understatement, his eyes studying me, "Ronald stays there most of the time, he's been really helpful with everything," I added.

"Yeah, he better be," Nikolas said.

"And—" Before I could speak up, the main door of my apartment opened, and the person we were just discussing came into view, "Nate, did you—"

He froze by the doorway, his eyes falling on Nikolas, then back to me, then back to Nikolas. Lines etched his forehead and he looked behind him then back at us, "Why do I feel like I opened a door to the past?" He mumbled, taken aback by Nik's sudden presence.

Nikolas ignored him and resumed drinking his tea. Ronald narrowed his eyes and edged closer, "Didn't you have dinner with Aurora?" He asked, suspiciously as he eyed him before he turned to me, "And you, weren't you out with friends?"

I nodded my head, "Uh, yeah," I mumbled, "I ran into Nikolas at the restaurant," I explained and Ronald's eyes narrowed in suspicion, "Oh, really," he said, looking only at Nik, "What a beautiful coincidence, isn't it, Nikolas?"

Nik held him back with a hard look, his jaw moving, a silent message being exchanged between them. Whatever it was, Nikolas won and Ronald dropped the topic. He walked into the room like he owned it and crashed on the L-shaped couch, making me shoot him a glare. Why was he here now?

"Weren't you going to Dad's?" I asked, my eyebrow raising, sending him a teleporting message via our twin antennae but he declined it because he is an asshole I am going to kill later on.

He shook his head, ever so casually and pulled Massie into his lap, stretching his legs out comfortably on the table, "Nah, I will crash here tonight," He added, his eyes glaring at the back of Nik's head before he added, "I am not going anywhere."

A loud breath pushed off Nikolas's chest and he got up to his feet, "And that's my cue to leave," he mumbled, having no energy to deal with Ronald now.

"But—" I wanted to interject but didn't know what else to say.

"Yeah, and be careful not to run into Beyoncé on your way out," Ronald said in mockery, sarcastically hinting at something and I shot him a glare, asking him to shut the fuck up, "Given this is such a small world and all, right?"

Nikolas leaned and grabbed one of the large pillows I had on the ground as decoration and quickly hurled it at Ronald. The pillow smacked him right into his face, erupting a groan from him and finally shushing his big mouth.

I smiled, giving Ronald an accomplished look as Nikolas grabbed his suit jacket. I walked him to the door, a weird pang of disappointment surging through my chest, wanting tonight to be longer, needing to see more of him. It wasn't enough, not at all.

"So," I murmured as he paused by the door, licking my dry lips nervously, "It was good seeing you."

He nodded his head, "It was good to see you too, Natalie."

"Will...will I see you again," I asked because I had to, I didn't want this to be the last time. Another five months and five days would ruin me.

He nodded, "Yeah, you will," he said, almost so sure.

"Cool," I mumbled.

Nikolas took me off guard when he leaned closer and innocently but not so innocently pecked my cheek, "Goodnight, Natalie."

I stared back at him in stunned disbelief, "Goodnight," I mumbled lowly as he turned around and left. I clicked the door shut and gathered my lost breath before I walked back inside. Ronald's eyes met mine, his eyebrow raising, "What was that?" He shot out.

I bent down and took the other pillow, and angrily, I hurled it at him too. This time he sensed my attack and raised his arms up, using them as his defense mechanism, "Why does this keep happening to me," He grumbled as I left him there and walked into my room.

I crashed over the bed and closed my eyes, recalling every little moment about today, clinging to all these little things because they were all I had left.

*****************

One Day Later...

I glanced at my watch, for what felt like the umpteenth time since settling into my chair. Thirty minutes had slipped by since my interview was scheduled to begin, yet still, no one had shown up. Nerves prickling, I reached for my phone, anxiously scanning for any missed calls or emails, refreshing the page repeatedly in hopes of an update or a cancellation/postponement notice at least.

But there was nothing—no email, no message, just an unsettling void of silence.

My gaze wandered around the fancy restaurant they picked up for the interview, drifting between couples and individuals lost in their own conversations and worlds. They seemed blissfully unaware of the anxiety gnawing at me from within. I desperately needed this job; desperate for a new source of income. Ronald had reassured me not to fret, but I found it difficult to shake off the weight of financial independence I'd grown accustomed to.

Twin brother or not, I needed to stand on my own feet again —and this was my chance.

With a sigh, I opened the front camera on my phone, scrutinizing my appearance once more. I smoothed down any errant strands of hair, adjusted my light-natural makeup, and straightened the lapels of my blazer and the top underneath, hoping to look professional still despite my mounting unease.

I locked my phone and rested it on the table just as footsteps neared me, "Sorry for being late, but something came up," The familiar voice said and he took a seat across from me, unbuttoning his suit jacket as he settled down.

My eyes widened, in shock and bewilderment, "Wha...Nik, what the hell, what are you doing here!" I said in a barely controlled voice, "Get up, get out, I have an interview, what are you doing here?"

His eyes met mine, and his eyebrows pulled closer, "Nik?" He questioned my choice of words, "It's Mr. Virachi for you now, this is a job interview," He winked, the fucking infuriating asshole winked at me, "Try and be more professional."

"Nikolas, are you kidding me, what is this," I shot out, my voice grabbing the unwanted attention of people around us, "I have a job interview, are you trying to give me a heart attack right now, just get out, they could get here any moment, you can't be sitting here, I will look unprofessional and—"

His confusion grew, "Yeah well, true, you're coming out really unprofessional right now, with that tone and calling me by my first name and all," He said, ever so casually, "I was told you were better and smarter than this, ma'am."

"Ma'am?" I squeaked out, "Nikolas, are you shitting me right now?"

He shook his head in disappointment, "See, so very unprofessional."

I slammed my palm over the table and the waiter paused midway, taken aback by my angry agitated state, "I thought this was a real interview, this was really important to me, why are you doing this?" I said, feeling the walls close up on me again and I struggled to my feet, gathering my belongings and ready to storm out but Nikolas's hand reached for my arm and pulled me back into my seat.

"It is an interview, in a way," he said, his tone more serious now, "Really, Natalie, I am not joking around, I am working on a project and I need you on it, too."

Lines etched my forehead and I eased myself back into my seat, trying to control my multiplying anger and disappointment, "Which project?"

My apparent agitated state made him get right into it, "It's a little something I've been working on over the past months," He informed me and I listened, "You know how the asylum burned down," He said, his tone dropping lower at the bitter memory. Swallowing past the growing lump in my throat, I nodded my head, "Which got me thinking, of how it was misused all over those years, even when I was there, and I wanted to rebuild it, and I wanted to do it right this time, and not an asylum per se, more like a —wellness center," he shrugged, "If you wanna call it that."

He explained and I felt myself get absorbed into each and every word, "One that will be open for kids, and adults, men, and women, old and young, for anyone that actually needs it, those with trauma, those who got abused, anyone that this life had pushed down and is in desperate need to get back up again," He added and breathlessly I listened, "And Natalie, I want you to be there, managing it with me."

"So yeah, it's a real job interview," he added, his eyebrow raising at my previous outburst, "And I will still give you a second chance, even though you screamed at your future boss."

I shot him a glare and he returned it with a knowing look. Pulling a nonchalant act, I leaned backward into my seat, "And why me?" I asked as I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Because I know you, I know how smart and passionate you are about these things," He answered, "I know how you always wanted a chance, just like this, to really offer your help and be part of something bigger," He added, each words eating up at my broken heart, "It's you, because I can't see myself doing it alongside anyone else," He added, "It's you, because I trust you, Natalie."

He trusts me? How could he, after all that I've done?

His gaze flickered behind me, taking notice of the other presence, "Aurora is here too," he said and my eyes widened, flickering to my right as the pretty woman from last night pulled back the chair next to me and settled on it. Turning her face, her eyes met my own and her sweet smile widened, "Hey," She said, extending her hand forward, "I am Aurora," She introduced herself, "And you must be Natalie, I heard so much about you."

I rested my hand in hers and shook it, a small smile curving my lips before I turned to glance at Nikolas, addressing the heard about me part of it.

"It's nice to finally meet you," She said, and I nodded my head, softly saying, "Likewise."

God, she is even prettier when she is this close.

"Good thing you came, she was about to run for the hills when she saw me," Nikolas spoke, his words addressed to her, but his gaze was on me and I rolled my eyes at him, unsure of how to react to these information being thrown at me, one after the other.

So, is this the business he was talking about, and oh, this must be what she meant by see you tomorrow. Wow, I suddenly feel so much better...

"Aurora owns a couple of similar clinics across town," Nikolas explained, already reading my mind and answering my doubts, "And well, the firm you used to work for," He added, and my eyebrows pulled closer, "They weren't doing very well financially, so I kind of bought their business," My eyes widened, "And we will join it with Aurora's, and make a name brand of our own," He explained and I was left utterly speechless.

"I don't know how much he explained to you," Aurora interjected, "But he has some really great ideas for this project," She added, "I've been doing this for more than ten years," She did look older than me, but damn did she age like fine-wine, "But he still amazes me with his ideas," She added, winking at him, "He is a smart one."

I looked at him, nodding my head in silent agreement, "He is."

Over these past months, when I was falling and breaking down, he was building up something from mere ashes, and god, I couldn't be more proud, so happy, and amazed by him, by this idea, by his determination to make something beautiful out of something so ugly. I wanted to leap forward and hug him so tight, and tell him all about those ugly five months, maybe he'd be able to make them beautiful too.

Nervously, I kept fidgeting with my bracelet as I gazed at him, unsure of what to say or how to react.

"Oh, I love your bracelet, it's so cute," Aurora gushed from beside me, reaching forward and caressing the edges of each charm, "Where did you get it from?"

I shook my head, gazing down at it, "It was my mom's," I answered.

"Oh, it's so pretty," She said with a low sigh before her eyes went to my face and her warm smile widened, "God, you are so beautiful, Nikolas sure failed to mention that," She slanted a disappointed look at him, one he returned with a roll of his eyes, "And those eyes of yours, dammit," She rested her fingers over my cheek and she tried to asses them closer, "I could gaze at them forever, wow-"

"Aurora, put your hand down," Nikolas grumbled, apparently annoyed by her actions and she sighed, edging closer to me as she whispered, "Was he always this grumpy?"

I nodded my head, "Believe me, this is his good side, he was much worse."

"Oh, wow," She said, scrunching her nose at the mere thought of it, "How did you handle him, considering you dated him and all?"

So, she knows.

I shook my head, my challenging gaze on him, "I didn't, which is why we broke up," I said out loud, my eyebrow raising and he didn't seem to like any of my words. Good, he annoyed me more than enough today with all of this, he deserved to get annoyed too.

"Oh, I smell drama," She said and I nodded, turning to her, "I'll tell you all about it later, considering we will be working together and all."

"Ahh, I am so excited for this!" She squealed, moving her arm and resting it over my shoulder, doing it on purpose to annoy Nik, and I decided to follow in her steps and infuriate him even more. His eyes fell on her arm and his jaw twitched, his gaze flared and he glared at us both.

I looked at her, "Your hair is so beautiful by the way, the color is unlike anything I've seen before," I commented, bringing my hand to run my fingers through it.

She grinned, "Ah, thanks," She said, ever so humble and sweet, "Yours is amazing too, you need to tell me where you got it done."

I nodded, "Yeah sure, sure, I can take you there next time, it's my favorite salon."

She turned to Nikolas, "I think I found my new BFF, I really like her, no wonder you never shut up about her," She said and Nikolas looked so ready to go back to his old ways, pull out his gun, and kill someone.

My lips twitched, because my grumpy boy never shuts up about me. Yeah, suddenly today is becoming a good day again.

And my list of little things keeps getting longer and longer with his presence...

"Can you two stop this," He grumbled out, pointing at us, being so close and touchy and whatnot.

I resisted the urge to laugh, never thought I'd see him jealous of a girl, but yeah, he was and it was so adorable.

"You should get used to this," I pointed out, "Considering the three of us will be working together."

He assessed my expression and tried to discern the tone of my words, "Does this mean you are accepting my offer?" He asked, hopeful.

"There are a couple of details we need to discuss but," I extended my hand forward to him. His eyes fell onto my hand as I added, "But yeah, I am accepting your offer—," My eyebrow raised and I opted for a professional tone like he requested, "—Mr. Viarchi."

He reached forward, curling his hand over my own, consuming my little hand with his big possessive grip. His eyes focused on mine, a hundred different feelings fighting through and within his beautiful piercing gaze. God, I was signing up my soul to the devil, wasn't I?

"Let's order, I am starving," Aurora said, breaking into our trance as she called for the waiter, "After that, we can drop by the site, and show you what we have done up till now," She suggested and I nodded my head, "Ronald was there checking the...oh true, Ronald, he is your brother, isn't he?" She asked, her eyebrows pulling closer as she tried to catch up on all the little details.

I nodded, "Yeah, unfortunately," I said.

She chuckled lowly, "Aww no, Ronald is so cute, I like him, but he sure bickers with this one like they're a married couple," She added with a sigh while pointing at Nikolas.

I nodded my head, "Yeah, I used to think they were the ones dating, not us," I commented.

Nikolas huffed out in annoyance, "I am starting to regret this, you know," He grumbled as he looked between us two teaming up against him.

I shrugged and took a sip of my water glass, "A bit too late for that," I said, throwing him a wink. Oh, how the tables have turned.

His glare switched to Aurora, and he shifted in his seat, preparing to get up, "Aurora, come here, switch seats with me," He said and she shook her head, "No," She said ever so innocently and tapped her hand over my shoulder, "We girls stick together," She added and Nik couldn't look more annoyed and frustrated.

Aurora and I exchanged a knowing smile before I leaned back into my seat. As we placed our orders with the waiter, Aurora delved deeper into the details of their project. My gaze kept drifting to Nikolas every now and then, watching his grumpy expression, how he glared at her hand every time she touched me and for some reason, things felt like they were falling back into their right places.

It was almost as if I were exactly where I was always meant to be —Right next to this grumpy unpleasant man.

********************

Two months Later...

It was finally opening night.

For the past two months, we had worked tirelessly, arranging all the stats and striving to perfect every little detail. Finally, we were here, and starting tomorrow, we would begin taking in patients. I even had my first appointment scheduled first thing in the morning. I couldn't be more excited to be right back in the game.

I ran my hand through my hair and leaned back against the cocktail table, my gaze fixed on him as he commanded the attention of everyone in the room, mingling with guests who ranged from business associates to potential clients and more.

I felt someone pause next to me, drink in hand, as they gazed in the same direction I was lost in.

"Are you as proud of him as I am?" I whispered quietly, unable to tear my eyes away.

From my peripheral vision, I saw Alex nod his head, "You have no idea," he replied, a warm smile gracing his lips.

"He took something so ugly and turned it into something so beautiful," I murmured, finally shifting my gaze from him to Alex beside me.

Alex nodded in agreement, "Yeah, never thought he'd do something like this," he said.

"To be honest, I always saw it in him," I replied, recalling how his potential had always been evident to my discerning eyes since day one.

Alex nodded in understanding, "Yeah, well, I picked you for a reason," he added playfully.

My lips twitched as I gazed at him, my throat tightening nervously as we stood alone in the same confined space after so long. Despite seeing him a bit over the past two months, we never exchanged more than a couple of words.

"Alex," I mumbled, "I never got the chance to talk to you and apologize after everything that happened," I added, guilt woven into my few words.

He shook his head, as if trying to brush it off. "I won't deny it, I was so mad at you, for too many reasons," he admitted, and I nodded, feeling the weight of old shame pressing on my chest. "But in a way, I can't blame you or point any accusing fingers," his gaze drifted to Nik, "The life that he led is bound to change you in ways you don't understand."

Alex set his drink down and turned to face me, "I've made my share of mistakes too when I got into it, things I'm not exactly proud of," he confessed, sighing lowly, "We all make mistakes, Natalie; it's part of life."

He sighed softly, "And I can imagine how hard and draining it was to be subjected to Isaac's manipulation. He was no piece of cake," Alex added, and I nodded in agreement. No, he wasn't. He had shattered my mental state with his games, and even now, I was still trying to recover, "And I know that you lost a lot too."

I did. I really did.

"So, let's just bury the hatchet and declare peace, okay?" Alex proposed, extending his hand forward, "To starting a new page," he suggested with a small smile.

A wide smile broke across my face as I placed my hand in his, nodding, "A new white page," I murmured. Alex playfully shifted his hand, wrapping his arm around my shoulder, "So, now tell me, when do you plan on becoming my sister-in-law?" he asked directly.

I chuckled at his question, shaking my head as I glanced back at Nikolas. "You'll have to ask your brother that," I replied softly. Despite the tension and lingering connection between us, Nikolas never attempted to go beyond our work agreement over the past two months. His insistence on keeping me at arm's length made me hesitate to make a move, and so I focused solely on our work, afraid of facing rejection.

It suddenly became too much. The troubled thoughts rushed back with full force; these two months, the torturous five before them, this night, him, his strength and power, how he moved with ease and utter control; it all became too much. I wanted him to be happy, god, I really did, but it killed me slightly to know that he is capable of being so okay without me, while I— I still ache for him, I still die every night I am away, I still break down and hit the floor. I am still grieving his loss, unable to move on, still in pain, and unable to grasp for control like he is.

Did he really move on? How did he do it? Can he teach me?

I cleared my throat and turned to Alex, "I have a few things to do," I mumbled lowly as I took a step back, forcing on a smile and in desperate need of an escape, "I'll see you around?" I said softly and he nodded, his eyebrows pulled closer, probably sensing my sudden drop in energy. He didn't question it as I bid him goodbye and strode away, leaving the party behind and heading for my brand-new office.

I walked inside, closed the door, and reached for my desk, dropping down on it before I'd collapse to the floor all over again. My gaze flickered around the four walls, a small somber smile breaking through, Nikolas allowed me to design it whichever way I wanted. It was probably the only colorful room in the whole place.

It was a reflection of who I used to be—vibrant, with colors and sounds. I used to love them bright and loud, but not anymore. Now, I felt the colors leaving me, replaced by shades of grey and dimness, a sense of sadness and silence enveloping me.

Lines etched my forehead when they fell on the extra thing over my desk, something I didn't pick myself. Confused lines etched my forehead as I reached for the vase; the flowers in it, ranged in colors, like someone captured a rainbow in a flask. Astonished, I gently caressed their leaves, my hand coming to rest on a small note tucked to the side.

Opening the paper, I read the two little words scribbled there: 'Bella Junior.'

My heart raced, it flew up high before it fell to the ground and shattered right by his feet. Tears glistened in my eyes, recalling so many memories, so many moments we shared, they now hurt me. It's him. Of course, it was him—who else would have done this but him? Sniffling softly, I tried to wipe away the tears without smudging my makeup.

Sinking into my seat, my gaze remained fixated on the delicate beauty of the flowers. I felt an overwhelming urge to throw caution into the wind, to rush back downstairs, crash the party, and confess everything I was feeling to him, and in front of everyone. I wanted him back, desperately. Wasn't he aware of that?

I tried to breathe, I attempted to take the logical way and rearrange my thoughts, pushing the hurtful ones to the back and bringing forefront the good; you know, the little things. I pulled up the files I stacked aside, those referring to my upcoming patients and I focused on them only, indulging in people's problems helped me escape my own. I read through, and executed an action plan for my treatments.

I don't know how long I stayed here, flipping through pages and reading. All I remember is resting my forehead over my arms on the desk and closing them briefly, for a minute or two.

Yeah, just a minute or two...

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Goddammit.

I groaned lowly in my sleep.

Knock.

I kept my eyes closed, pressed shut, and let out a low annoyed moan. If it's Ronald knocking, I will kill him. He has a key, why isn't he using it?

Another low knock. Followed by the door opening. And footsteps. Then, the door closed again.

Groaning lowly in annoyance and at my source of disturbance, I tried to lift my head. God, my arm was aching badly, why? I blinked the haziness and blurriness away as a yawn escaped past my lips. I covered my mouth as I sleepily mumbled, "Ronald?"

I blinked again and finally, the mirage broke, my eyes grew wide when they met familiar green ones, amused and warm as they gazed back at me. Then—it hit me.

"I am getting a very weird deja vu right now," Nikolas commented, his lips twitching at my sleepy state.

Gulping down, my gaze flickered to my watch, checking the time and my eyes grew even wider. Holy crap, talk about resting my eyes for a minute or two. I've slept on my desk for a whole of forty minutes.

I tried to fix my hair and cleared my throat, "Ah, what...what are you doing here?"

"I searched for you everywhere downstairs," He said, "So, the real question is, what are you doing here?"

I licked my lips and faced him again, watching him as he took a couple of steps closer to my desk. Deja vu alright, it's like when we first met. Except now, everything was different. Except now, I know him. He is no longer the mystery I wanted to solve, nor the puzzle I want to rearrange. He is no longer the monster I am tasked to unravel.

He is just him.

He is just Nikolas; he is the man that I am desperately in love with. The man I broke, and the one constantly breaking my heart ever since.

I rushed a hand over my neck and busied myself by rearranging the files I scattered in my sleep, "Uhm, I was just preparing for tomorrow," I mumbled, finally giving him an answer, "It's a big day."

He nodded his head, pausing only when he was right by my desk, only a piece of wood separating us, "Yeah, it is a big day," he reaffirmed.

I stacked the files aside and looked up at him, smiling, "I have an appointment first thing in the morning," I informed, barely able to contain my excitement, "I am officially back in the game."

He returned my smile and nodded, "You were never out."

"Uh-huh," I hummed lowly.

"Actually," He started, "I am here because I need your professional medical opinion on something," He added, confusing me slightly.

I smiled, "You wanna be my first patient?" I asked teasingly.

He nodded, "It does bring back old memories," He answered and I sighed, the nostalgia hitting me hard.

I licked my lips and nodded my head, "Uh, yeah sure, go ahead," I said, urging him to talk, "Oh wait, hold on a sec," I mumbled as I opened my drawer and pulled out my fake work glasses, rested them on and looked at him, "Now, you can carry on, what can I help you with, Mr. Virachi?"

He smiled again, his warm gaze flickering all over my face. God, how does he expect me to move on when he looks at me like this?

"So," Nikolas started, resting his hand on my desk, tapping his fingers over the surface, "I have this little problem that I need your help with," He said, "So, there is this girl—"

My brows creased, "We are not gonna talk about some girl you know, are we?" I grumbled out, unable to hide my annoyance.

He nodded, "We will, we will," He said, arching an unsatisfied eyebrow, triggering me from the very start, "Try to be more professional and let me finish my sentences, will you?"

I rolled my eyes and nodded my head, silently ushering him to resume.

"So, there is this girl, her and I, we used to date for a while," He added.

Oh okay, he means me. "Oh, she seems so beautiful and smart," I couldn't help but say, interrupting him again.

He shot me a glare, "I haven't described her yet."

"I am good at my job, I can already imagine her, she is way out of your league."

A loud exhale pushed out of his chest, "Anyway," He said, glaring at me still, "Things happened and we broke up—"

I nodded, "Let me guess...because you left her to wake up alone on the day when she needed you the most." Yeah, I am still bitter.

He huffed out a low breath then nodded his head, "Yeah, exactly, see, you are really good at your job," He added sarcastically, "I knew I hired you for a reason."

"Dickhead," I grumbled under my breath at his tone.

His eyes narrowed at me, "Did you just call your boss a dickhead?"

I shook my head, feigning innocence, "No, god forbid," I said, ever so sarcastically, "But I was thinking about this guy, you know—a guy I used to date before," I mimicked his previous words.

Being an infuriating thing, he went on with my game, "Oh, he sounds so handsome and wise," He commented and I shot him a glare, "I haven't described him yet."

He nodded, "Yeah, I am that good at my job too," He shot back, "I can surmise that you two broke up because you conspired with his one and only enemy and kind of stabbed him in the back, didn't you," He added with an arched eyebrow, being a bitter little thing too.

My jaw tightened and I glared at him, "I think you are here to discuss your love life, not my messy complicated one with my dickhead of an ex," I grumbled out.

His eyebrow raised at the way I kept addressing him, "True," He said.

I nodded my head, "So, you two broke up and—" I said, waving my hand and ushering him to resume.

"And—" He said, then paused, the muscles of his jaw working and he looked away from me, his chest expanding as he inhaled and exhaled.

"And?" I questioned his lack of words.

"And—" He said, his eyes back on mine, no hesitation in them this time, no doubt, "I want her back."

And...he just killed me all over again.

"For the past two months, she's been so distanced from me and can't take it anymore," I thought he was the distanced one, "A part of me believes that she wants me back too but something is holding her back," He added, "I don't know what it is and I am no longer sure of what I am supposed to do," He said, proving all of my previous thoughts wrong. He didn't move on. He isn't in utter control. He is just like me, wavering on the edge, "Should I give her more time, more space? or should I just tell her everything?" He asked me, "What do you think I should do?"

My heart raced and silently, I stared back at him. I felt overwhelmed. All the bad thoughts came running back and I removed my glasses, and let them fall onto the desk before I got up to my feet and moved away, ready to run, to escape. He can't do this, not like this—

A hand enveloped mine from behind, halting my frantic steps, and he pulled me towards him, turning me around. I struggled against tears, against his grip on my arm. "Natalie," he emphasized, trying to slow my hurried, erratic movements.

I shook my head, "No, you don't get to do this, no," I said, still trying to pull my arm back but he didn't let me, "You can't talk about it like this, like it's so casual, like it's so normal, like I wasn't falling apart and dying over the past months!"

He pulled me to him, so close, that our chests crashed against one another, "And what do you think I was doing? You think I wasn't suffering too?" His voice was lower, more dangerous, and so very tortured.

Tears betrayed me and I shook my head, "You were living, Nikolas," I said, "I wasn't, I couldn't, you don't know what happened to me in those five months," I added, my tone getting weaker and weaker with every word.

"I know," he whispered.

I shook my head, "You don't," I said, sniffling as the tears glistened down, "You were busy, you were building all of this, you were living, you were surviving, and I was just breaking and hitting the floor every day—"

"Why do you think I was doing all of this?" He asked, lines of anguish tightening his forehead.

"I don't know," I mumbled weakly.

"I was doing it for us," He said, breathing into every word, "I was building all of this for us, Natalie," He added, "For you, for me, for the future I always wanted to build with you."

My vision became blurrier and I blinked, allowing more tears to flow, "What do you mean?"

"I had to leave that day, Natalie," He said, addressing our last time together, "You needed me to be away from you, you needed time and space, to deal with it all, to face everything—"

"No, no I didn't," I interrupted, "No, I needed you there with me."

He shook his head, "You know that I am right, you didn't need me there, if I stayed, you would've never dealt with all that pain, and with everything that happened. You wouldn't be able to when a constant reminder of it stood right there next to you, you needed me to be far away, Natalie, for you to comprehend it all, I had to be away," Every word of his ripped my heart to pieces, their truth resonating deep within me.

"Believe me, I know pain so well, I know the right way to deal with it, and I know the easy way out," He added, shaking his head, "The easy way was never the right one, I was the easy way for you. If I stayed, I would've ruined the only chance we stood to be together."

He shook his head, "I couldn't risk that," He admitted over a low whisper, "I couldn't risk losing you forever."

I sniffled and brought my hands to my face, wiping at my cheeks and Nikolas moved his arm, he wrapped it around my waist, keeping me anchored to him, "What did you think, that running into you at that restaurant was just a coincidence?"

He shook his head, tightening the lines between my brows, "I knew you'd be there," He admitted, "I heard Ronald talk to you about it the day before," He said, "I chose that restaurant in exact, because I wanted to see you, because five months were too much, Natalie. God, I couldn't take it anymore."

"I searched for you there, in every corner and every spot and when I didn't find you, I thought you decided not to come, so I left," He added, "And there you were, right outside, ready to turn my whole life upside down all over again."

"I wasn't just surviving Natalie," He said, "I was surviving on the hope that we will find our way back to each other again," Those same emotions simmered into the depth of his eyes, they were so hot now, a raging fire ate at the trees, one by one, "Because I need you, Natalie, god, I need you more than I need breathing."

I stared back at him, at a loss for words, my brain short-circuited, unable to form thoughts, to be logical, and to give me an explanation for everything this man was telling me.

"It feels like almost yesterday, when we first met," He mumbled, his eyes flickering around us, "In a room just like this," He added, "I walked in and you were sleeping on the desk, and I thought this was my chance to just run away and not do this."

I sniffled and shook my head, "You didn't."

He shook his head, his faint smile ruining my heart, "I didn't," He murmured, "I am so glad that I didn't."

"There was something about you, I could never wrap my mind about it, and it just pulled me further in," He said.

"It's gravity," I mumbled lowly. It wasn't Newton's gravity, it was something else entirely only people crazy in love would solve its mystery.

His brows creased and his smile grew a bit wider, "I guess," He mumbled, "Whatever it was, it locked me in and I kept looking at you, you had that —thing in you that I was aching for all my life."

"That light; so pure, so beautiful and so delicate," He added.

No wonder he always called me his delicate girl.

"And I knew that my mere touch would break you, and I vowed to myself that I won't," The frown tightened between his brows, and heartbreak wove into those eyes as he gazed at me, "But look at me, I did," He added and I shook my head. It wasn't entirely him, it was the accumulation of everything in his life, of his past and present, of his demons, of his ghosts, and of me.

"That part of your life is over," I mumbled, the part that broke him, broke me and us, "It's over."

He nodded his head, "It is," He said, "And I want to do this next part only with you."

"You're sure?" I mumbled.

He smiled and nodded his head, "I am sure."

He brought his hand to my face, his warm fingers brushing the leftover tears away, before they moved to my hair, tucking a couple of strands behind my ear, gazing at my eyes in ways no one ever did, "I love you so much, Natalie," He whispered, and my heart soared so bad, "More than I've ever loved anyone, more than I ever thought myself capable of loving."

"You're sure?" I asked again, my emotional tears rushing back, my heart felt like it could burst.

His smile, my favorite smile was there, the smile I'd kill for, the smile this world broke constantly but yet look at him, still smiling for me, "I am sure."

"This is the first time you tell me this," I mumbled, ever so weakly.

He shook his head, "No, it's only the first time you're hearing it."

"How were you able to do all of this?" I whispered, amazed by his willingness to rise from under the rubble and build so much, plan all of this; god, he is no longer the same man who came into my office that very first day. That man was hopeless, he had given up on himself, but this man was fighting everything and everyone.

"Someone told me that I should fight, to keep fighting, not just against the bad but fight for everything that is good, too," He said, his thumb gently brushing the top of my cheek, "And Natalie, you are that good, the one I'll keep fighting for till my very last breath."

Oh, he is so gonna kill me today.

"You're sure?" I asked.

His lips twitched again, his eyebrow raising, "You gonna keep asking me that?"

I nodded my head, my own lips curving up into a faint somber yet also happy smile.

"I'm sure," He replied, "I've never been more sure of anything like I am now."

"Cool," I mumbled, my gaze flickering to his delicious lips, "Now kiss me like you mean it."

And he needed no more, one second I was breathing oxygen, and the next it was him, his smell, his taste, enveloping every alive cell in my being. A piercing need flooded my senses, the kind of longing I'd never known before him. To be honest, what was before him? I don't seem to recall a time when he wasn't an integral part of my life.

He opened my mouth with a firm parting of his lips; then he carried on tasting me, his tongue relentless against mine, pushing hungrily over and around.

The feel of him after so long made me sigh in contempt, it made me moan into his warm mouth, it thrust me deeper and deeper into a whirlwind that revolved and focused entirely on him; on Nikolas, my grumpy man, my tortured fighter, my determined survivor, the one who makes my heart race, my world, and my life spin faster and faster and out of control.

I don't know how he picked me up in his arms, but all I felt was my ass hitting the surface of my desk and Nikolas's hands were on my face, in my hair, on my neck, and just everywhere.

Oh, what a nice way to celebrate my new office.

"Say it again," I whispered into his lips. He edged back a fraction, his eyes on me, his lips curling up, and tease fluttered all over them so I admitted it, "Sue me, I am that desperate."

He leaned in and kissed me again, his actions speaking more than words ever could, "I love you," He murmured so beautifully into my lips and I sank and sank and god, I never wanted to come back up ever again.

I tightened my arms around his neck, keeping him so close, "Looks like there will be three N's, after all," I playfully mumbled into his mouth.

The sound of his low rich laugh vibrated all the way to my heart, squeezing at the tired yet very happy muscle. Green eyes never left my blue ones and he carressed my face, "Maybe even more, who knows," He said, "We have all the time in the world to figure it out."

And yeah, we did. We finally had it all, just for us.

Just him, and me, fighting against the tide, through madness and mayhem, and still coming up on top.

Him, the man who ruined my heart, who kissed it, who loved it, killed it, and revived it; the man who was probably made only for me, and me, only for him. There isn't any other possible outcome.

Just him and me. Together, we somehow managed to change the prophecy.

This man; he unraveled me, piece by piece, just like I did to him.

Showed me parts of myself I thought were missing, just like I did to him. He taught me so much, just like I taught him.

Just him and me, and whatever crazy little life we had ahead.

Him and me, and our little family. That image was no longer a fantasy, not just a dream. It was finally real and within reach. I could feel it, touch it, and taste it.

Him and me. In that car he talked about, riding toward that house he dreamt of.

But this time, we twist the knob, we open the door, and we enter. This time, we stay. This time, the dream doesn't end.

This time, it carries on.

Forever.

***********************************

Andddd, this is the last chapter 🥹 Let's sit and cry together :(

I will be posting the epilogue soon, within next week probably. There will be important scenes in the epilogue that relate to "Blue Ribbon", so don't miss it out ;)

Don't forget to vote and comment your opinion of this story. For me, this story is different than what I previously wrote, I feel like I explored a lot about writing while plotting this one down. There were so many powerful and intense scenes that I feel proud of ;)

I hope you liked this story, like I did :)

See ya soon!