" We must understand that sadness is an ocean, and sometimes we drown, while other days we are forced to swim."

- R. m. Drake

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Hazel and Gene could hear distant explosions going off in front of them as a gentle layer of snow slowly began to fall down.

Catherine crouched low next to Bull, as she watched Julian and Johnny go out ahead of the group, positioned up against a tree. Her breath was shallow, even though they had been moving quickly through the forest. But every breath she let out, she could see the puff of white air that followed. Her face was also bitterly cold, and with each little blast of cold air she felt, she could feel her insides get colder and colder. She watched as Johnny and Julian got the signal to move forward towards another secure barrier, closer to the German front line that met in the forest and not in the open field that stood between the two on the other part of the front line.

There was a pile of wood, built up alone a split in the road, and Catherine squinted her eyes just enough that she could still see their two figures through the onset of the fog. Johnny seemed to have given Julian the signal to go, but then a German voice rang out, clearly.

" Fire!" he yelled and that's when the bullets started flying. Johnny yelled for him to get down and Catherine watched with horror filled eyes as Julian froze and turned to look at Johnny with such hopeful eyes, and got shot in the neck, making him fall like a sack of potatoes to the ground.

Catherine waited, she waited for the call from Johnny, as Julian lay there helplessly and Johnny attempted firing back at the Germans with his Thompson. She looked towards the rest of the group that waited and she could see worry lines appearing on Babe's face. Julian was Babe's foxhole partner, everyone knew that. So watching his foxhole partner on the brink of death was unsettling. Catherine bit her lip watching Johnny, as Julian moved around his hands to his neck. Catherine felt her throat tighten. He was in the line of fire.

" Bull! Christenson! Catherine!" Johnny yelled back to the group and the 3 soldiers quickly moved to their feet, " Up on line!"

Gene and Hazel could both hear the frequent calls, the consistent sound of a German machine gun, and consistent explosions, as they sat there quietly. Gene had pulled out a cigarette, almost nervously, as he had lit it and placed it to his lips every so often, his coping mechanism with the worry that seemed to consume his body. Hazel had resorted to biting her lip over and over until it bled from it's normal chapped state to worry state. They couldn't see through the fog though, but they knew what was going down on the other side. Someone had been hit.

" Johnny!" Bull yelled as the rest of the men and Catherine on patrol, came running up behind the barricade that Johnny was against.

" We got a man down!" Johnny yelled back. Catherine came hurrying forward and slammed in between Babe and Bull, the chaos of the fight, causing her eyes to not know who to focus on. But then she saw Julian, his arm outstretched, reaching for them as his hand held over his wound.

" What have we go?" Bull yelled to Johnny, as Catherine's eyes remained on Julian, as her heart sunk lower and lower into her chest.

" Keep still, Julian!" Johnny called to him.

" We've gotta make a move!" Bull yelled over Catherine and Babe. Catherine glanced up at Babe who was looking towards Julian, his eyes unsettled.

" I can get him, Sarge!" Babe yelled. Catherine could hear George's frantic call to Easy's CP over the gunfire, and she could hear the machine going off. It was rattling around in her brain, going back and forth like a frisbee.

" Suppressing fire!" Johnny yelled.

" Suppressing fire!" Bull called as Catherine watched Babe crawl out in front of her. Catherine looked towards Julian again, as blood squirted from his mouth, continuing to pool around his neck and head. He wasn't going to make it.

And suddenly she was thrust back into D-Day, as she lay in the lumber, covered in sweat, blood and tears, praying for a bit of hope. She had survived it, making the makeshift sling, forcing herself to her feet, to move until she met up with Gene. This was different. No one could reach them unless they wanted death.

And that was a harsh reality to experience.

" Covering fire!" Johnny yelled as he turned and shots from both sides began. Catherine willed herself to stand up and crouch behind the lumbar to start shooting, to do something as Julian laid there in the open range of fire.

But her eyes remained filled with unshed tears as she stayed holding her gun in front of her, and no bullets coming out the other side. She felt frozen. Her eyes couldn't focus on anything, as her brain turned to mush. She was hearing bullets and shouting, and explosions and voices, but she couldn't focus.

Catherine felt herself slump down onto the ground again, and turn away from the fight, as her bottom lip trembled. She had put up such a brave face for so incredibly long, and she couldn't believe she was breaking down now, in the middle of this patrol. She look towards Babe, and watched as he jumped back, slow blowing up in front of his face, as he failed at getting to Julian at his first attempt. Catherine felt she could see into Julian's eyes as he rolled around and reached out to them.

" Okay, stay there, don't move!" Babe called to Julian before glancing towards where the whistling bullets were coming from.

" Stop moving, they'll keep shooting!" Babe yelled again to Julian, who continued to reach toward them, words incoherent. She could tell Babe was overwhelmed and frustrated, so she sucked in her tears, and pushed herself up from the wall of lumber, before doing her duty as the Lieutenant she was.

" Keep up with that suppressing fire on the machine gun Christenson!" she called to him as she slowly moved down the line.

" Keep shooting, Frank!" she called to him, as he shot of round after round. She focused, keeping her attention on the battle and not what was going on with Julian and Babe she couldn't focus on that. She slid in beside George who was on the phone.

" Where the hell is Peacock?" Catherine called to him as he pulled the phone from his ear.

" He went to the CP!" George called back, watching as her eyes darkened. CP? George didn't hesitate to shove the phone into her hand then and there.

" Is Peacock there?" Catherine called through the phone.

" Catherine? Why are you on this line?" she heard Nixon's voice say as it came crackling through.

" Why do you think? Peacock's gone, George said he's gone back to CP is he there?" Catherine called as a bullet whizzed past her back and she scrunched into a tense ball.

" No, not yet at least, what's going on?" he asked her. Catherine looked back over her shoulder.

" The patrol's gone to hell." she said quickly.

" Get out of there." Nixon said quickly.

" We can't, we have a man down." Catherine said quickly, as she met George's eyes.

" We can't move." Catherine repeated.

" We have to move out!" Catherine heard Bull call towards Johnny as the gunfire picked up. Catherine shut her eyes for a moment and sucked in a breath, before putting the phone to her ear.

" We can't." she said to Nixon calmly through the phone," We can't leave, not yet."

" Get it done." Nixon said before the line simmered off, static connection dwindling. The fire fight was a mess behind her but Catherine slowly pulled the phone from her ear with a shaking hand for what she had to do.

And it would take a lifetime to recover from it.

Hazel could see through her scope, someone running towards them, eyes watching in front of him nervously. Hazel sat back from her scope a bit as Gene shifted. It was Peacock.

" What's happening, sir?" Gene called out to him, standing to his feet, his voice filled with hope and confusion.

" We're pulling back, we made contact." Peacock said, " I gotta get to the CP." Hazel watched from her scope as Peacock trudged by them. She watched as Gene turned to look back towards where the current patrol had gone, utterly confused.

" Keep on them!" Catherine called to a few men on the end of the line for Easy. She could hear Babe's calls to Julian and knew she couldn't do a thing to help. She'd talk to Lizzie once about what would happen if she got shot; what it would feel like.

Lizzie had said that once it happens, you won't stop moving because you'll want to reach for the wound to cover it, crawl around for cover, move around until you either get taken care of or die. Julian was only reacting in the most natural way any person would. Catherine came running back along the line and slammed in next to Luz who was furiously calling the CP again. She looked to him before she started hearing yelling.

" Pull back, we gotta pull back!" Christenson yelled from his machine gun and Catherine shot up, hand to her helmet.

What?

" Let's go, let's go, let's go!" Johnny suddenly began calling as Catherine watched people slowly begin retreating. Catherine looked to Johnny. What were they doing? But then she saw Babe, helplessly calling out to Julian, pleading that he stay alive and look at Babe and stop moving so that they could save him. But he didn't stop wriggling around or looking around or reaching out for them. her heart shattered at what Lizzie or Gene would think of this.

Catherine felt frozen sitting next to the tree, watching the scene unfold, the yelling and the utter chaos. People ran away from the sight, retreating, but she stayed put frozen against the tree. At the final moment, Johnny began yanking at her shoulder as she met eyes with Julian, lying helplessly on the ground in the middle of Beligum in some forest, fighting a war he was too young to be in.

Catherine let Johnny yank her back and away from the sight, as she bit her trembling lip and stumbled over her feet, retreating through the forest, her eye sight blinded by tears. But she couldn't get Julian's face from her mind as a few single gunshots rang out behind them. She couldn't save him.

" Move! Come on, let's go!" she could hear Martin yelling.

" Where the hell are we?!" someone yelled.

" Straight ahead, straight ahead!" some yelled. Hazel and Gene stood side by side, and she could practically feel the tension radiating from him as she stood there. Her eyes were now filled with worry and nerves as she looked towards where she could see the patrol scrambling and running back towards them.

Gunshots exploded from in front of them and a man fell to the ground. Hazel watched as Gene put the cigarette in his mouth and then hurried forward. Hazel could see George next to Gene and the injured man, working on the radio to get CP.

" Where's Hazel?" the voice of Johnny called over the chaos.

" Here!" she called and hurried forward in front of everyone else, past Gene, George and the injured man. She slammed in beside Johnny and a rather distraught Catherine.

" What do you need, Sarge?" she asked.

" Julian, he got gunned down and we think there's a sniper out there." Johnny said before crouching up a bit and shooting back.

" Move back a bit and keep your sniper out, facing that way," Johnny instructed with his hand. Hazel nodded before standing and quickly moving back and setting up her position as more chaos unfolded.

" Martin!" a voice suddenly yelled and heads turned to see it was Nixon.

" Catherine!" Nixon yelled again as Hazel turned her attention back to the German line, her eyes straining through the scope and fog.

" Sir!" Martin called back as he adjusted positions.

" What's going on?!" Nixon yelled to him.

" They got Julian!" Martin yelled.

" He's still alive!" Babe's strained voice called, coming from another tree.

" We don't know that!" Martin called.

" We gotta go get him, sir!" Babe called desperately.

" Did you hit and OP or their line?" Nixon asked.

" Their line, sir." Martin called back.

" We've gotta go back, sir, get Julian out of there!" Babe called, pleading to go back for his foxhole partner.

" No, fall back!" Nixon said, and Hazel swiveled to look at him.

" We lost Peacock!" someone called.

" No, he's back at the CP. Come on, Martin, fall back!" Nixon called.

" Let's up and go!" someone yelled and Hazel gritted her teeth, before she pulled her weapon up and then turned and began running back through the snowy and bitter cold forest.

Hazel sat idly next to Babe, her eyes sunken in and full of sorrow. She had never felt such a weight as she did now, thinking of Julian probably now dead in that open crossfire. She couldn't imagine.

Catherine was emotionless as she stood against the tree, her eyes unfocused. Babe coughed by Hazel's side, as every so often she gave the man worried eyes but he just shrugged it off. Her heart sunk for Babe. That's when Hazel noticed Winters coming towards the group where Catherine and Johnny stood.

" We couldn't get to him, Captain," Johnny said as Hazel locked eyes with Catherine who was putting up a strong face. Winters looked at Catherine for a few moments as the women kept her eyes on the circle of men, eyes filled with emotion. She whispered something softly to him.

" Babe tried, Catherine tried, we all tried, couldn't get to him." Johnny said as Catherine sighed to herself. Hazel met Winter's eyes as he looked at the group, as Johnny turned and walked away from them. Winters sat in with them, but kept looking towards Hazel. His eyes were trained on hers for quite some time, as she watched him back.

Something was turning in his mind, over and over again.

There was plan somewhere in there.

When Winters and Catherine got back to CP, Catherine could tell that there was an idea brewing in Winters' mind. He had been quiet, surprisingly, the entire walk back, as he kept his arms crossed across his chest, his eyes narrowed, thinking deeply.

" Something on your mind?" she asked him, as Nixon stepped forward, a map in his hand.

" No," Winters said, shaking his head, as Catherine raised a brow.

" You sure, Dick? You're looking rather quizzical." Nixon said in a joking manner. Catherine glanced at him as Winters he sat down and then looked out again towards the foxholes.

" We should try to recover the body," Winters said.

" That's a death wish," Catherine said as worry filled her system. Winters looked at her.

" Not if we sent Hazel," he said and Catherine glanced at Nixon. Nixon merely smiled.

If anyone could do anything risky and survive, besides that lunatic Lieutenant Speirs, it was Corporal Hazel Parker.

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hey! sorta of a sad chapter, especially for catherine because she felt she could save julian :( but i hope you all like the upcoming chapter for a bit of hope and hazel's position, i have a feeling you all will enjoy it!! thank you so much!! <3