1-1, 1-1-2,1-6-3-2. I mentally count in my head as I pound into the punching bag. I'm dripping with sweat and my knuckles are all sore and red from hitting the bag so hard despite me taping my hands.

Sergio and Giada's words run through my head like a song on repeat.

Would you say yes if Luciano asked you to stay?

I have never seen my son this happy and something tells me you've never been this happy either.

You're part of the family now.

I end my sequence with a strong roundhouse kick, sending the bag flying. I stare at the bag blankly for a few seconds before sinking to the floor, dropping my head down.

A ice pack enters my vision and I look up to see Luciano standing there, holding it. His expression is blank but I see a flash of worry as he eyes my now bleeding knuckles. I remove my Airpods and take the pack from him, mumbling a thanks. He doesn't say a word, sinking to the floor beside me and leaning against the wall. I place the cold pack against my swollen knuckles, hissing slightly at the pain.

"Never pegged you as a masochist." he says after a few minutes.

I just shrug, staring blankly ahead.

"You wanna tell me what's wrong or do I have to guess?"

"Who said something was wrong?"

"oh, I don't know. The fact that you've been in the gym for the past 2 hours beating the crap out of that punching bag till your knuckles are bleeding. You owe me a new punching bag by the way."he says in a sarcastic tone, pointing to the busted bag lying on the floor.

"You drive one of the world's most expensive cars and you want me to pay you back for a punching bag?"

"Accountability,cara. Accountability." He says in a sing song voice and I roll my eyes playfully.

"Were my parents that bad?"

I turn to look at him, but he just stares at me with that stupid poker face of his.

"They were amazing. How they produced a child like you baffles me."

"If they were amazing, why are you so pissed off?"

"Because they were amazing." I say and he rolls his eyes at me.

"This is why I will never understand women or more specifically, you."

I can't help but chuckle lightly at his tone of voice.

"Why don't you have a girlfriend?" I ask him

"What?"

"Why don't you have a girlfriend? You know, a woman that you love and are in a relationship with?"

He stares at me for a few seconds. "Before this, I never met someone who made me want to be in a relationship I suppose. Also, I've been so focused on the mafia to even think about one."

I nod once, switching the icepack to my other hand.

"Are your parents always this welcoming and nice to strangers ?"

"Mama is a good judge of character at first sight. Papa takes his time to study you which is why I was surprised earlier. I've never seen him ask someone to call him by his first name so quick before." "Guess I'm just that charming." "I heard mama invited you for Christmas." "She did." "And?" "I told her I might be working so no promises. "

"Meaning you're not coming either way."

I stay quiet, knowing he' s right.

"What are your plans for the future, Alessandra?" Luciano says in a serious tone.

"I have no clue."

"Bullshit."

I turn to look at him, raising an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

He sends me a challenging look. "I said bullshit."

"And pray tell, what are my future plans then Mr Know-it-all?"

He shrugs casually, "Well, you can't work at CCC forever so my guess is you will probably retire in a few years, travel the world a bit. Maybe you'll meet a guy in some country and decide to settle down there. Have a few kids, live the rest of your life peacefully."

I look at him drily, "Now who's spouting bullshit?"

He chuckles, "Come on, surely you know you can't be an assassin for the rest of your life."

"I meant the settling down part."

"You don't want kids?" he asks surprised.

"I don't know yet."

"You'll make a good mum. I've seen you with Frankie."

I snort, "Little man is an exception."

"If you don't want to do the whole married life thing, what do you plan to do? Don't say you're gonna find a 9-5 job."

I shake my head, "I'd rather kill myself than lock myself in some office for hours. And I never said I never wanted to do the whole domestic life thing."

"You're confusing me dolchezza"

"If you asked me this a month ago, I would have told you that you were right. I would have liked to settle down, build a family, lead a normal life. Probably do some consultancy work. After today though, that is clearly not gonna happen."

"Why not?"

"Do you seriously see me living in a house with a white picket fence somewhere in the suburbs, driving a minivan to send the kids to soccer practice, baking apple pies as my husband comes home from work?"

"Hell no. I was thinking somewhere along the lines of you marrying another retired assassin or someone in the business. You need a challenge, excitement not some boring banker or lawyer."

I smirk at the accuracy of his statement, "True that. Besides, I'm not gonna have a marriage based on lies. I need someone who accepts for who I am, assassin and all."

"So, marry someone who does. Someone who would understand.."

"But I can't. I thought I could but after tonight, I realised I can't. I don't know how to be a girlfriend, much less a wife and I sure as hell don't know how to be a mother. I watched your parents tonight and I envy what they have, Vincenzo, I crave for what they have but I could never have it."

"You don't know that, cara." He says firmly.

"I've never known what it feels like to have a mother and a father till tonight. I've never known what it's like to have siblings, to have a family till I met all of you. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful but it's also made me realise that I'm not cut out for this. I mean, look at me. I'm beating myself up in the gym at midnight because one regular family dinner overwhelmed me. How am I supposed to raise a family when I don't even recognise who I am anymore?"

"First of all, my family can be a little extra. Between Emilia and mama, even I need to escape sometimes. And you can't beat yourself up over this, cara. It's uncharted territory for you. Give yourself some credit. You just had dinner with the Dons of the Italian mafia and got invited to Christmas dinner."

I don't say a word and Luciano takes my hand in his, his thumb gently rubbing over my bruised knuckles. "You never know if you don't try. Give yourself a chance." I stare at him for a few seconds and for a moment, I let myself imagine. Imagine that I stayed and we became a couple. Imagine that I married him and started a family together. I could see it, see myself waking up next to him, our kids running into the room and jumping on the bed to snuggle. I could see it and it terrified me because I knew that it was all a fantasy. Everything would come crumbling down eventually because of me. For gods sake, I aimed my gun at the wall the other night because of my nightmares. I couldn't bring someone else into my messed up world.

I sigh, getting to my feet and pulling my hand away, immediately missing his warmth and sense of security. "Not if I already know how it ends."

"Alessandra, don-"

"Goodnight, Luciano. Thanks for the icepack."

I enter my room, heading straight for the shower. Standing under the warm water, Sergio's words run through my head.

We are most alive when we're in love."

I couldn't get close to Luciano, I couldn't fall for him. If I were to fall in love with him and he with me, it would only end up killing him. And that would kill me.

I slip out early the next morning, before anyone's down for breakfast. Stopping the car, I turn off the ignition and grab the flowers I bought on the way here from the passenger seat. Walking until I reach her headstone, I stop, placing the flowers there. I haven't been here since her funeral,never having plucked up the courage to visit her.

I sit down on the neatly trimmed grass, playing with my fingers nervously.

"Hey Isabelle."

I spend an hour just talking to her, apologising. I tell her about Isaac and how he's doing. As I get into the car, I feel lighter. I was a long way from being fully healed but this was a step in that direction.

Parking the car in the garage, I head to Luciano's office. It's empty and I vaguely remember Angelo mentioning that he had a meeting that morning. I settle down on his couch, grabbing my laptop. I had been tracking Connor's communications, hoping I could find out something useful. Just then, my laptop pings and I smirk as I look at my screen.

"This morning, Connor made a call to Dexter Williams. It lasted 3 minutes and 40 seconds. Connor was at his home while Dexter was in Brooklyn."

"That name sounds so familiar." Luca muses and I nod, pulling up the file that Interpol had on Dexter.

"Dexter is wanted by many agencies, including the FBI and Interpol. He's a notorious arms dealer, suspected of supplying weapons to terrorist groups in the Middle East. The Feds have been after him for ages but he's smart. Witnesses always mysteriously disappear or recant their testimonies and the case falls apart due to insufficient evidence."

"He killed the last FBI agent who was undercover on his crew. Dumped his body outside FBI headquarters." Luciano says and I nod.

"I'm guessing Connor is getting his weapons from him since we foiled his attack on your warehouse." angelo adds in.

"There is one thing though." I say. "Dexter always has something he needs from his clients. His weapons are cheaper than other dealers but there's always some other form of payment required. Intel, property, women etc."

"What does Connor have that Dexter could be interested in?" Luca asks and Luciano answers.

"It's not what connor has now, it's what he's about to get. Connor plans to take over New York and all our businesses. When that happens, he could give Dexter whatever he wants."

We stay quiet, knowing that couldn't happen.

"Do we know when the trade is gonna happen?' Luciano asks me and I shake my head.

"No, but there is a way to find out."

"How?" Angelo asks and I pull up an invitation card on the screen. Luciano takes one look at it and barks out "No" in a hard tone.

The invite was to a event in a couple of days. What was so special about this event? Well, it was strictly for the underworld. If the FBI raided it, they would probably find all the wanted people there. Drug dealers, arms dealers, human traffickers, gang leaders, you name it. Mafia leaders were invited too but rarely attended because it always ended badly. Someone always got drunk and started a fight, a bloody one. As far as I know, the prominent mafias such as the Italians and Russians never attended purely because they didn't need to. They were major players in the game who had no need for these scumbags. There was a chance that Connor might attend but I was banking on his ego and pride. He had never attended in the past, claiming that the Irish mafia was above all this and I was praying that he still felt that way. Dexter Williams would be there however, because there were plenty of girls to entertain guests if you catch my drift.

"I'm not attending that shitshow." Luciano says angrily and I roll my eyes at him.

"He's right. We can get him outside as he leaves." Luca says and Angelo nods in agreement.

"That's too dangerous. Dexter's security is tight and trying to kidnap him would only cause a scene. Plus, it would alert Connor that we're onto him." I say and the boys think about it for a few minutes.

"Even if we send someone in, there's no way Dexter would let him close enough to clone his phone or get any info."

"Not him, her." I say and they look at me in confusion.

"Dexter has one weakness; women. If we send a woman in to entice him, he's gonna fall for the bait and bam, we got him."

"Who are we gonna send?" Angelo asks but Luciano is one step ahead.

"Absolutely not."

"I wasn't asking for your permission."

"It's too dangerous."

"So is Connor getting his hands on those weapons."

He growls in frustration, "Even if Dexter falls for you, his men are gonna run a background check on you the minute you get close to him."

"That's easy. I can create a fake identity perfectly right down to what my first word was."

"Say that works, how are you gonna get him to tell you about the deal?"

"I'll clone his phone. If I'm lucky, he'll get drunk and blurt out something."

Luciano shakes his head in frustration, "I don't like this idea at all. anything could go wrong."

"Do you have a better one?" I ask and he remains silent.

"Don, I don't like this either but she's right." Luca says

"Me too, Don but it's our only shot." angelo agrees.

Luciano stares at me for a few seconds, thinking hard.

"Okay but you get in, clone the phone and get out. Got it?"

I nod, saluting him. "Got it boss."

"Emilia, where's the rest of it?" I stare at the dress in horror. I can't even call this a dress, more like scraps of fabric sewn together.

Emilia rolls her eyes at me, "Gigi Hadid wore this so stop complaining."

"I don't care if Beyonce designed this. Have you seen what holds this together? Literally one stitch unraveling is all it would take for me to flash everyone. Hell, one wrong move and I'm flashing the whole room."

"Stop being so dramatic. You're gonna be fine. Now, slip it on or you're gonna be late."

I sigh in defeat, slipping into the dress. Emilia squeals as I turn.

"Damn girl, all eyes are gonna be on you tonight."

I look in the mirror feeling a little uncomfortable at how revealing the dress was. Emilia had put my hair up in a sleek high ponytail and done my face in nude colours. The focus was my dress and my body as slutty as that sounds but it was the only way to get Dexter's attention.

I slip into the black heels, grabbing my clutch. I wasn't wearing a wire or earpiece, knowing that it might get me caught. I had to basically force Luciano and the boys to wait at home and send one of their men to drive me. If anyone saw them outside the venue or nearby , our cover would be blown. I head downstairs, my gaze on my phone as I quickly go over my fake identity.

"Holy shit." I turn and Sofia stands there, her jaw dropped. Luca and Angelo have similar reactions but it's Luciano's expression that has me blushing.

"If Dexter does not fall for that, he's gay." Angelo says and Emilia chuckles. Luciano doesn't say a word as he walks towards me, his steel grey eyes almost black.

"I still don't like this."

My face softens, seeing the worry on his face. In a reassuring tone, I say, "I know but I got this."

"Remember, in and out. I don't want you anywhere near those bastards longer than necessary . I have a few of my men nearby in case things go south."

I nod, "I'll see you later."

I turn only to turn around again as he gently pulls my ponytail. Winking at me, he says "Angelo's right. You look stunning."

I blush, mumbling a Thank you and walk out. Getting into the Mercedes waiting out front, I mentally pray that my dress and I come back in one piece.