Chairman: Dear Director. Our laws are not designed to outline every possible infraction that may take place! However the spirit of the law is clear. Blatant disregard for the safety and well-being of our citizens, in any form, will always be a punishable offense, regardless of how well, or by whom that offense has been justified.
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In Valhalla, the Reds are being chased by another Warthog and being fired upon.
Simmons: Here they come!
Sarge: Simmons, what're you waitin' for? Shoot 'em!
Simmons: I can't! The stupid gun is jammed!
Sarge: Step on it, Grif.
Grif: Yeah, no shit!
Sarge: Whose idea was it to steal a jeep from these guys anyway?
From afar, Wash, Slade, South, Kan, and the Blues are watching.
Washington: Nuhh, I knew this plan wouldn't work.
Slade: No shit. Was that before I said my team was a bunch of numpty prats? Or was it after we just saw them getting their arses chased by actual soldiers?
South: How did you get assigned to these guys again?
Slade: You don't exactly cut corners when you try to lay low and off the grid, lass.
Caboose: That's why we carry guns.
Washington: (Mockingly) "We can get a car, no problem. We're better with vehicles than the Blues, let us handle this." Why did I even listen to them?
Church: I told you not to.
Washington: Yeah, well, I already stopped listening to you three bases ago.
Caboose: Well that's not very-
Washington: And I never started listening to you.
The jeeps continue their chase.
Sarge: Force them into the wall!
Grif: On it!
The pursuing car enters the base.
Grif: Where'd they go?!
Sarge: Did ya lose 'em?
Grif: Looks like it.
They skid to a stop as the other car works its way through the base.
Sarge: What in Sam Hell? I don't believe it.
Grif: Well Sarge, I guess you owe me an apology. Turns out I'm not such a bad driver after-
The other jeep emerges from the base right in front of them.
Grif: ...all.
The other jeep's gunner turns the turret toward them.
Grif: Aw come on, what the fuck!
The Freelancers, Blues and Kan continue watching the pursuit.
Caboose: Aw man. That jeep has a really big gun.
Church: Don't get any ideas.
Washington: (sigh) Well, I guess I'd better get down there and save them. I'm really starting to hate this part of the job.
Caboose: Well at least you're getting a lot of practice at it.
Washington: Don't patronize me.
Church: You know, if we let one or two of 'em die, we could probably all squeeze in to one car. Just saying, you should think about it.
Slade: Church, shut the fuck up. South, take Kan and go see if they're any other vehicles about.
South: We're on it.
Slade rushes off to help Wash as South and Kan head the opposite direction.
Caboose: Oh, and if enough of us die, we can fit on a motorcycle!
Church: Alright good, they're gone. Caboose, you stay here, I'll be right back.
Caboose: You're leaving?
Church: Yeah.
Church leaves his body again.
Church: For some reason he doesn't want me to see Tex's body. I'm gonna go try to find her.
Caboose: Um... Don-, don't leave me here with your body. It stares at me, and I don't like it.
Church: You'll be fine.
Church leaves. His body emits a low humming sound that makes Caboose uncomfortable.
Caboose: Stop it.
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Simmons smacks the turret once and cocks it.
Simmons: Got it!
Grif: Great, you unjammed the gun? How 'bout you shoot 'em?!
Sarge: Grif, just get us out of this!
Grif: Hold on, I wanna try something. I think I can make this jump!
Sarge: Are you insane?
Grif: Yeah, fuck this, brakes!
They skid to a sideways stop at the edge of a cliff, which the other jeep promptly jumps off of and explodes.
Grif: Uhuh, we're really high.
Simmons: Yeah, got him!
Slade and Wash run up.
Slade: Way to go, mates! Fuckin' brilliant!
Simmons: Thanks.
Slade: THAT WAS SARCASM, CYBORG BOY!
Washington: You idiots! We needed that jeep!
Grif: Uh yeah, and we needed not to die? What's your point?
Washington: There's still nine of us. Where are we gonna get another vehicle?
A Hornet rises up behind Wash, and everyone turns to look at it.
Washington: ...Oh.
Grif: Hey, dude? In the future, don't ask for shit.
Slade: Karma. Fuckin'. Sucks.
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Inside the base, a couple guards are watching.
Guard 1: Looks like the Hornet's gonna get 'em.
Guard 2: Yeah. They blew up our jeep though. That kinda sucks.
Guard 1: And they killed two of our friends, right?
Guard 2: Oh yeah that too.
Guard 1: Still I think -
Church possesses the first guard.
Guard 1: Hegagurgurk!
Guard 2: You okay?
Church: Me?
Guard 2: Yeah you. What was that noise?
Church: I didn't... hear any noise.
Guard 2: It sounded like-
Church: I sneezed.
Guard 2: You sneezed.
Church: Yeah, so anyway, I'm gonna go in the base now, gonna go do some patrolling in there. You know how it goes. Standard ops stuff. Okay seeya.
Guard 2: What're you talkin' about? The CO said to stay out here. Make sure no one gets in the base.
Church: Oh, it's okay. I uh, I spoke to the Sergeant. He gave me special orders.
Guard 2: Okay, yeah. Wait, you mean the Captain?
Church: Huh? Yeah, right. That guy. Whatever.
Church enters the base and we return to the Reds.
Simmons: Run!
Slade looks to the base and sees one of the guards enter it, and radios Caboose.
Slade: Dammit. Caboose! What is Church doing?
Caboose: Oh, uh, doing? Uh, why nothing, Slade, he's just standing next to me watching you get killed by the giant spaceship.
Slade: Caboose... if that's really Church, then put him on.
Caboose: Oh, I don't think so, um, we're, we're playing a game. Uh, called, who can hold still the longest. Uhm, it's a fun game we-
An explosion shakes the cliff enough that Church's empty body falls over backward.
Caboose: ...I'm going to have to call you back.