Sarge drives up in the jeep and gets out.

Sarge: Now this is more like it! Great job on the simulator, Lopez. Good work on the power, Simmons.

Simmons: Thank you, sir!

Grif: Simmons?! I'm the one that was almost killed just so you could get the electricity back on.

Sarge: Yep, but it was worth it.

Grif: You say that every time I'm almost killed.

Flashback to Blood Gulch as Simmons runs up to Sarge.

Simmons: Sarge! Grif was spying on the blues and they captured him!

Sarge: What'd he find out? Are they planning something?

Simmons: No, they were standing around talking, like always. But now they're gonna kill him!

Sarge: Well, it was worth it.

Flash to Sarge and Simmons talking inside Red Base.

Sarge: The base looks so clean Simmons! Excellent work.

Simmons: Yeah, too bad Grif was almost killed by his allergic reaction to the cleaning supplies.

Grif is seen laying in a pool of blood.

Sarge: It was worth it!

Flash to Sarge and Simmons standing, with Grif on floor between them and on fire.

Sarge: Worth it.

Flash to present.

Sarge: Only because it's always true. There's very few tasks that wouldn't balance out by you making the ultimate sacrifice.

Simmons: At least this time we got something out of it. We got power, and a new weapon!

Sarge: Let's test this bad boy out.

Sarge mounts on the turret of Warthog at points it at Grif.

Grif: Whoa, wait a second. Does this hologram jeep shoot hologram slugs, or real slugs?

Kan: Knowing your sergeant? Real slugs.

Sarge: As long as we are in this room, everything will seem real to us. It's all simulated, but your mind makes it real.

Simmons: Ooh, like the Matrix!

Lopez: [Right, but without all the Eastern philosophy stuff that no one understands]

Grif: Alright, fuck this. I'm going to stand over there.

Sarge: Well guess what, dirtbag? I don't need you for target practice anymore. I've got my own holo-Grif programed into the system already.

Lopez makes a holo-Grif.

Holo-Grif: Hello! I am literally the worst program ever made!

Simmons: It sounds like someone hasn't used Google Chrome...

Kan: Keep your computer comments to yourself.

Sarge: Locked and loaded, ready to fire at the bloated. Grif... I mean, fake Grif... go stand over there.

Holo-Grif: Cool... Whatever...

Holo-Grif runs to center of room.

Sarge: This is a magnetized propulsion system. It can fire massive slugs at an outrageous velocity! Check it out.

Sarge fires, killing holo-Grif and stalling out the Warthog's engine.

Holo-Grif: (flying as a corpse) Blarg! I deserve it!

Another figure is seen, standing where the Holo-Grif was.

Sarge: Heh heh. See? How awesome is that?

Simmons: Wow!

Sarge: And in 10 short seconds, it'll be ready to fire again.

Simmons: That's incredible! Wait a minute...

Sarge: Lopez, spawn me another holo-Grif on the pronto.

Lopez: [Right.]

Grif: Did you guys see that?

Sarge: Shut up real-Grif! We're doing important research over here! Hey Simmons, check this out: I'm gonna shoot the next one in the hoo-hoo.

Another Grif spawns.

Holo-Grif: Oh, hey guys. What's goin-

Sarge fires at the Holo-Grif directly at his groin.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

At Blue base, Caboose is standing around bits of equipment.

Caboose: (Creepily) Finally we're all here. Now we can be together... forever.

Slade then opens the door to South's room and sways against the frame, in his sweats. Caboose turns and see that he has several hickeys on his neck and chest.

Slade: (panting) Hey, Caboose. What're you up to, mate?

Caboose: Oh, hi, Slade! Just trying to bring Church back so we can be friends again and talk about all the times I killed him and him yelling at me for it. We're you attacked by animal? (gasps) Was it a cat?

Before Slade can answer, a hand grabs the waistband of his sweatpants and they hear South.

South: Who said I was done with you?

Slade: (pleading) Caboose... help.

South yanks Slade back inside, shutting the door behind them.

Caboose: Okay... bye.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Back at the hologram room, another holo-Grif dies, adding to a pile of dead holo-Grifs.

Sarge: Alright. Lopez, another holo-Grif.

Lopez: [This thing makes other targets you know...]

Sarge: Bah, let's stick with the fundamentals.

Kan: Sarge's imagination isn't that vast, Lopez.

Lopez: [No kidding.]

The jeep restarts again.

Simmons: OK, Sarge. Do you mean to tell me this thing fires once every 10 seconds?

Sarge: Yep. It's state of the art.

Another holo-Grif spawns.

Holo-Grif: Let's get this over with...

Simmons: But our last weapon fired 10,000 rounds per second.

Sarge: If my math is right, and I think it is, that seems like more than this one.

Simmons: Yes, it is.

Sarge: How much more would you say?

Simmons: Well, the chaingun was 10,000 rounds per second, and this would be 0.1 of a round per second. So yeah, it was.

Sarge fires again, killing the holo-Grif and stalling the jeep once more. Grif sees the figure again.

Sarge: It does seem to be lacking in the rapid fire department.

Grif: I know I'm not crazy. I just saw something move.

Sarge: Oh well, a good craftsmen never blames his tools.

Simmons: But, we made the tool in this case. Can we blame the craftsman?

Sarge: No, Simmons. You and the gun are just going to have to agree to disagree.

Five holo-Grifs spawn in a line.

Simmons: Let me take a look. Maybe I can increase the rate of fire. (mounts in the jeep and drives off)

Sarge: And maybe Lopez can find a way to spawn Grifs faster!

Lopez: [It makes other things!]

Kan: Seems like you don't need my assistance with any of this. I'm going to go back up and check on my Leader.

Lopez: [Tell Slade I said hello.]

Kan: Understood.

Kan then heads up the ramp towards the elevator.

Grif: Guys, seriously. I know I saw something. (approaches line of holo-Grifs) Aha! See? This one is weird. It's all light-red instead of orange.

Sarge: (not looking) No Grif, I'm sure it isn't

Simmons: You're probably still hallucinating from the charge you took.

Grif: Yeah, I don't think so. Look!

Sarge: Grif, we're busy! You and Donut shut up and stop distracting us.

Grif: But I... Donut?!

Donut: (hoarsely) Water...

Grif: (steps back) Eeyah! Donut?!

Simmons: (hops out of the jeep) Donut?

Grif: Where the hell did you come from?

Donut: Water...

Grif: You came from the water?

Donut: Water! (collapses)

Grif: I didn't even know you could swim.

Donut: Grif! He needs help! It's under... the sand... find him.

Grif: Oh boy. That sounds like something that's gonna keep us busy for a few months

Sarge and Simmons rush up.

Sarge: Holy mamma mia. Donut! Where's he been?

Simmons: Donut! Grif, what did he say?

Grif: Hm? Who, him? Oh, uh, he just said he wanted some water.

Simmons: That's it?

Grif: Yeah, uh, just the water thing, uh, oh! Also that he really missed everyone.

Sarge: Why don't I believe you?

Grif: Um, he also said that he liked the new jeep.

Sarge: Hot damn! I always knew that kid had style.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Kan enters Blue Base and was about to knock on the door until he heard thumping and moaning from inside. Retracting his hand, Kan slowly steps away and heads back outside without a word.

(AND THAT'S THE RELOCATED SERIES FINISHED! HOPE YOU ALL GOT SOME LAUGHS! I'L MAYBE POST SOME OF SEASON 7 LATER TONIGHT! PEACE!)