Slade has Tex in a Nelson lock as she tries to break out of his grip.



Slade: (struggling to hold her in place) Are you lot gonna help me with her or what?!

Sarge: Naw buddy I think you got everything under control. We'll just hang back here.

Epsilon: Yeah, at first I wanted to get involved, but I just got a new body, sooooo...

Grif: Yeah, you've got some catching up to do.

Sarge: (notices Epsilon's Monitor body on the ground) Hey, what's that there?

Simmons: I think that's Church's old body.

Sarge: You mean he ain't a floatin' cue ball any more? That's too bad. Had a few more nicknames in my side pocket. We'll certainly miss you Lord Hackensack of the Roundalots.

Epsilon: I'm standing right here, ya know?

Grif: Yeah, that's why were saying it.

Caboose: Uh-hu- we have to do something.

F.I.L.S.S.: I am sorry, as I said, I cannot operate outside the bounds of my standard safety protocols.

Caboose: What if I said... pretty please?

Theta: I don't think manners has anything to do with it, Caboose.

F.I.L.S.S.: Private Caboose, is there a reason why you don't want to use one of the standard safety protocols? In this scenario, I would strongly recommend locking down the armor of any rogue unit.

Caboose: Wait you can do that?

F.I.L.S.S.: Of course. Armor lock is a standard safety feature since the Freelancer break in.

Caboose: Well why didn't you tell us that?

F.I.L.S.S.: Why would I need to tell the Director that? He wrote the protocol himself.

Caboose: Oh, right. Yes of course he did. Um Sheila, could you do the armor lunchable thing that you said?

South: (eyes widen) No, no, wait! Caboose, don't-!

F.I.L.S.S.: Certainly. (ding dong) Now initiating standard safety protocol. Armor lockdown in progress. All units, stand by for lockdown.

Slade immediately lets go of Tex as he gets shocked from her armor-lock and watches her become immobilized.

Slade: YEOW! What the-?!

Epsilon: What- what's happening? Caboose what did you do to her?

Caboose: Yes! Yes! I did it! I am the biggest hero ever! I beat up a girl!

Theta: I don't think that's something to be happy about, Caboose.

Sarge: Hah hah, yes! See, that's how you do it Grif; face your enemy man to man. Or in your case, woefully inadequate man to woman. And then when she's distracted, use superior technology to take her out. *sniff* Reminds me of prom night.

Grif: We didn't do anything, she shut down.

Caboose: I am the best!

Simmons: Uh, hey guys? What do you think that voice meant by "all units"?

The Reds then become immobilized.

Sarge: Hrr, h-gr I can't move.

Caboose: I did it, I- not my fault! Not my fault! I did not do this! The computer made suggestions! And the default option was yes!

South: (becomes immobilized) Shut. Up.

Grif: Well this is just great.

Epsilon: What's happening? Caboose! Make it stop! Make it- (becomes immobilized) st-ow! Rrruh!

Slade looks at his armor as he doesn't become stuck in place, like the others. Kan looks on in curiosity.

Kan: Slade, why does your armor not freeze like the others?

Slade: No clue, Kan. Maybe my armor isn't equipped with whatever it's doing to the others.

Delta: (appears) That is a likely conclusion, Agent California. Your armor is lacking in the necessary preventative measures to put your armor into lockdown.

Slade: I wouldn't exactly call them 'necessary' if they didn't do anything harmful to me, Delta.

Caboose: Uh, Sheila, is, is my armor gonna lockdown too?

F.I.L.S.S.: No Caboose, your helmet does not have that particular protocol installed in it. I had assumed, that was the reason why you were wearing that-

Caboose: Yes. That is totally the reason.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Back at the desert, Wash is overlooking the group of dead Elites.

Washington: Well, so much for the "leave one of them alive" strategy. Doc, where are you?

Doc: Here!

Washington: Still alive. I thought maybe you'd been killed in the battle.

Doc: No, don't worry, I'm still alive.

Washington: I didn't say I was worried. Get down here, see if any of these things are still breathing.

Doc: Me?

Washington: You're a medic, get- medical.

Doc: I'm a human medic. I don't even understand Alien physiology.

Washington: I want you to see if they're alive, I don't want you to check their cholesterol levels, just get down here.

Doc: Geez! Fine. What's with the anger?

The Meta looks at Wash and growls.

Washington: Meta, you search the camp. See if you can find anything useful for us. Any clues where Epsilon went.

The Meta stands over Wash gives a menacing grunt.

Washington: (jabs the brute's chest) Don't start with me. I've already reached my tolerance level for management issues.

The Meta huffs and stomps off.

Doc: He's getting fussy.

Washington: Tell me about it.

The Meta puts his brute shot on his back and enters one of the structures.

Doc: Maybe we should take a break.

Washington: Excuse me? A break?

Doc: Yeah, like a three-day leave! Everyone go off, recharge their mental batteries, come back refreshed, and like, ready to tackle our challenges.

Washington: You want a vacation?

Doc: I call it a Soul Sabbatical.

Washington: What are we, mailmen? This is a military mission. We don't get a vacation. We don't take sick days, we don't get paid overtime.

Doc: What, Freelancers don't get overtime?

Washington: That's right, we have a job to do and we're expected to stick wit- wait. Why, wh- do you?

Doc: Get overtime? Yheah. Time and a half over forty hours, time and a half and a half after sixty.

Washington: ...really?

Doc: You guys don't get that? That's crazy, you work so hard.

Washington: Tell me about it.

Doc: You guys should strike.

Washington: We're not unionizing. Stop instigating.

Doc: ... Tell me they at least match your 401K.

Washington: Shut up.

The pair then hear the Meta's growls echo from the structure.

Doc: What was that?

Washington: Quiet. What did you find, Meta?

A grenade is thrown at the cave entrance, where Wash has moved to and explodes, making the steel and yellow Freelancer jump back.

Washington: Hey! Watch it. Meta, come out here, now.

The Meta growls loudly from inside.

Washington: Doc, get in there and see what he found.

Doc: Which Doc, there's a, is there another Doc here? I know you're not talking to me. Yeah, you know, probably better if you go in? Historically, I don't really have the best success rate going in caves. They tend not to work out for me. Before your time, but trust me. I-uhy- you don't want any part o' that.