Director: Dear Chairman. Rest assured we have the situation under control. While the Meta is proving to be an elusive enemy, our Recovery agent is already closing in on it. I expect this incident will reach a conclusion soon, and I will be able to return to my research. Hopefully, without further interruption.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Washington, Slade, Kan, and Caboose approach the run-down structure near the structure.

Washington: And you're sure this is where we can find this guy?

Caboose: I think so. We all found out our new orders at the same time; he tried to hide his from me so I would not know where he was.

Washington: Really? I can't imagine why.

Caboose: I said it was like a game of hide and seek, and he said that that was right; he was going to hide from me. And the only way he could win, is if he dies without ever seeing me again.

Slade: I swear I am gonna rip him a new one.

Washington: Geez, you hate him that much?

Kan: This human has no patience. Never has.

Washington: And he knows about Freelancer as well?

Caboose: Oh, yeah, he knows the most. He knows uh, all about your A.I. game. He dated Tex!

Tex: (in Slade's head) I wouldn't call them 'dates'.

Theta: (in Slade's head) What would you call them?

Slade: (in his mind) Down please. Both of you.

Washington: Agent Texas? Um, how could a person-

A sniper shot rings out between them.

Slade: BLOODY HELL!

Voice: Fuck!

Washington: Sniper! Get down!

Slade, Wash, and Kan run behind a boulder as Caboose just stands there, dumbfounded.

Caboose: Huh?

Voice: Okay, that was your one warning shot! The next one's goin' right between your eyes!

Washington: Private Caboose! Get down!

Caboose: Wait a minute-

Voice: Alright! I warned ya! Sayonara, biatch!

Another sniper shot misses Caboose.

Voice: Aw come on, what the fuck?!

Slade just snickers as does Kan as they realize who it is that's firing incredibly badly.

Washington: Why are you laughing? Caboose!

Caboose: I know that voice! Church! Church! It's me! Your all-time best friend!

Church: Caboose? Caboose, is that you?

Caboose: Yes! Church, it's me!

Church starts firing at Caboose a lot, and missing, a lot.

Caboose: I have missed you so much! It has been so long! Did you miss me?!

Church: Fuck! I missed him!

Caboose: I knew you did!

Church: Go away!

Slade and Kan then come out.

Slade: Jesus, Church! Do you even zoom with that thing when you fire at a bloody person?

Church: What the hell?! Slade?!

Slade: No, it's the Ghost of Christmas Present. I've come to show you how to not be an arsehole.

Church: FUCK YOU, YA AUSTRIAN REJECT!

Slade: Kan, hand me your fuel-rod cannon.

Kan: (hands him the weapon) Here you are.

Theta: (appears) Uh, isn't that a bit extreme, Cal?

Slade: Hell, no. (Fires four rounds that explode around the tower)

Church: GAH! STOP! OKAY, I GIVE! I GIVE! UNCLE, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!

Washington: This is your friend?

Caboose: Yeah.

Washington: And he shot at you.

Caboose: Well, at me and stuff around me. Yeah, it is kind of like our thing. See, he acts like he doesn't like me, but he really does. Oh and he might bring up something about me killing him, but that's only the truth. Uh, it's a joke. (inhales) You could play along if you want!

Washington: Wait, that doesn't make any sense. You did what? You- you killed him?

Church: (appears on the ledge) Hey, scram, seriously! Get the fuck outta here!

Caboose: Hey Church! This is Agent Washington! He needs to speak to you.

Church: Agent Wa- You brought a Freelancer here? What's wrong with you guys?

Slade: Oi! I'm the most hardcore Freelancer you've ever met! And don't you bloody mother-fucking forget it!

Washington: Open this gate.

Church: Uh, no can do, bud. See this is a secure facility: nobody in, nobody out. Sorry, I guess you'll have to come back, never.

Washington: Oh no, then I guess we'll have to just walk through the huge hole in your secure wall.

Wash points to the huge hole in the base.

Church: Fine, I'll open the fucking gate.

Several minutes later, Church opens the gate and they meet up inside.

Church: Okay well, sorry the place is so messy. I would have cleaned up if I'd known you guys were coming. But hey, no one called ahead.

Washington: How long have you been here?

Church: How long? Um... What day is today?

Slade: Tuesday.

Church: I've been here fourteen months.

Washington: What? Over a year, by yourself? Alone?

Slade: Jesus, mate!

Church: Yeah, it's been um... it's been great, I mean just, just, it's been great. Really great.

The radio sounds out.

Command: This is Command calling Recovery One, come in Recovery One.

Washington: (to the Blues) You are really an odd group of people. Hold on. (to Command) This is Agent Washington. I found some Blue Team members that have extensive experience with Omega.

Church: Did he just say Omega?

Caboose: Yeah. And some other words too.

Command: Excellent, Agent Washington, please stand by for orders.

An invisible mass looked down at the group before hiding just as Caboose looked up.

Command: Now that you have reassembled the Blues, you should head to Outpost 17-B. See what clues your team can gather there based on what they know.

Washington: Roger that.

Command: They want you to stop the Meta at all costs. This is a Level One directive. Good luck Wash. Recovery Command out.

Washington: Recovery One out. (cuts off radio) Come on, let's move out.

Church: Move out? Hey, at what point in this conversation did you think that we were buddies or somethin'? I'm not goin' with you.

Caboose: Yes! You are not in our buddy club!

Church: Shut up Caboose, and what did I tell you about that armor when we had to pick new suits?

Caboose: You told me to upgrade.

Church: That's not an upgrade! This is Mark VI armor, that's Mark V. This is an upgrade.

Caboose: In a Top Ten list, five is better than six.

Church: We're not a top ten list!

Washington: How do you ever get anything done if all you ever do is argue with each other?

Church: We don't, that's part of our charm. Quit fuckin' it up!

Slade: Wash, these two have seen and survived shit you would not believe to be possible. Like I said back on the ship, bear with it.

Washington: Look, I know you guys are all wrapped up in your little "red versus blue" battles-

Caboose: Blue versus red battles. No one says red versus blue, it sounds stupid when you say it backwards.

Washington: But this is important. Actual military operations. Not your fake simulation stuff. Something is hunting our top agents, and I need all the help I can get to stop it.

Church: Stop it? If it's killing Freelancers, I want to start a fan club for it, build it a website.

Slade: I swear, one of these days I am gonna beat your arse to death.

Washington: And now that the ship from your canyon is crashed, we think it's more powerful than ever. It gains new abilities every time it kills-

Church: Wait, wait, wait, whoa- you found Tex's ship?

Washington: We believe so.

Church: Where?

Washington: Come with us, and I'll show you.

Church: Okay, I'm in.

Caboose: Yes, this will be the greatest road trip ever!

Church: If you say anything positive, I will fucking kill all five of us right now.

Slade: With what? Your mouth? In the fourteen months you've been gone, you still can't aim for shit.

Kan: Agreed, Leader.

Church: You know, I think I liked you better when all you said was 'honk honk'.

Caboose: Okay. I will be very depressed about how awesome this will be.

The Meta decloaks on the base and starts meddling with a recording he made of Washington's conversation with Command to create new audio, then sounds the radio with it.

Command: This is Command calling Red Base, come in Red Base.

Sarge: This is Blood Gulch Outpost Number One.

Command: Agent Washington has reassembled the Blues.

Sarge: I knew it! I knew he was a Blue!

Command: Gather your team. We want you to stop Agent Washington at all costs. This is a level one directive. Good luck, Red Base.

Sarge: Hey, one sec. Any word on that soldier poison I ordered?

Command: No. Good luck, Red Base.

Sarge: What about the robot nuts?

Command: No. Good luck, Red Base. Command out.

Sarge: Well you don't have to get so te- ...

The Meta closes the connection.

Sarge: Hello? Hello, can you hear me? ...How 'bout now? This thing gets terrible reception. Only have one bar. ...Hello? Can you hear me now?

The Meta sees someone in purple armor off to the side. South steps out from behind a broken wall with Delta activated.

Delta: I still believe this course of action is dangerous. If we are following Agent Washington, logic would dictate that others could be as well.

The Meta hops down the wall and sneaks towards them.