Katerina De Luca

I sat silently on a black stool as my paintbrush gently glided over the medium sized canvas with expertise while my other hand rested over my protruding bump. It's already been three months since I decided to live with James, Rosy and their four year old daughter, little Riella.

At first, I didn't want to live with them. I didn't want to risk their safety if Arosio were to ever find me.

But then I found out that I am having twins, something that my doctor in Los Angeles probably tried to inform me of the night I escaped but I didn't bring my phone with me so I never knew. The morning after I first arrived in Texas, Rosy pointed out my larger than average baby bump and brought me to her doctor.

As soon as the doctor confirmed that I was pregnant with twins, I felt all of the color drain from my face. My breathing came out in short pants and my vision blurred before I ended up passing out right then and there in the doctor's office.

It wasn't because I was unhappy but rather, my fears had increased tenfold.

Up until that moment, I had perfectly planned how to stay hidden from Arosio and his mafia with my one baby girl but when I found out that I am having two babies, one girl and one boy, I had to reevaluate all of my plans.

Running away and travelling with two newborns would be nearly impossible.

I wouldn't be able to hide from the cameras in airports or train stations while carrying my babies. Just the mere sight of one woman holding two babies would be enough to catch Arosio's attention no matter where I go. These kinds of thoughts were invading my mind with each second that passed by but when we returned home, James and Rosy argued with me and insisted on me living with them, at least until my babies are born.

In that moment, I had to decide between leaving them and proceeding with my original plans of renting an isolated cabin in the countryside of Texas by myself or follow James and Rosy to their renovated home on the other side of town. Their safety is what made me hesitate a lot and even though they did give me a choice, I knew deep down that they wanted me to stay with them and would feel hurt if I abruptly left.

In the end, I chose to stay with them because I was scared to leave alone after just finding out I am having twins but the main reason is, I truly missed James and Rosy over the past few years.

"There you are, Kitty Kat! James and I were looking for you everywhere but of course, you're in your art studio," Rosy teased as she walked into the connecting garage that James had turned into a mini art studio for me two months ago.

Within our friend circle, only Rylan and I majored in art and I always dreamed of creating artwork that would help children diagnosed with autism and with mental health symptoms feel more safe and empowered in this world.

"I'm sorry, Rosy. These two little brats kept kicking me and only calmed down when I started painting," I explained while covering my painting up with a black plastic sheet but it was quickly snatched away from me by Rosy's curious hands.

"Oh, what do we have here? You painted the same silhouette shadow of some man...oh but he's not just some man, is he? Even his shadow is handsome, and that ring on his left wedding finger..." Rosy trailed off as my shocked eyes snapped back to my painting and gazed at the familiar shadow of the one man who kept reappearing in my dreams every single night.

Every painting I have in this studio, inadvertently turned into a painting of the shadows of either Arosio or Elijah or both sometimes. Though most of the time, it would turn into a painting of Arosio and every time I wanted to rip the painting apart but I could never bring myself to do it.

I never tried to paint him, in fact I tried forcing every cell in my body to forget about him but I always ended up painting him subconsciously. I've had to cover many paintings with a black plastic sheet and place them on the floor in the corner of the studio so that Rosy and James wouldn't notice.

But of course, my best friends notice everything.

My eyes glazed over slightly with tears as I stared at the newest painting for a few more seconds. This time, I had subconsciously painted the shadow of Arosio's back, with his broad shoulders on full display and he seemed to be wearing a black suit. It was almost night time, the silhouette of his personal mansion could be see in the distance as the sunset brought bright colors of orange, yellow and red into the picturesque scenery for the bottom half.

With furrowed brows, I watched as the red paint from the sunset had trickled down to where Arosio's shadow stood and that's when I realized why.

His hands.

A gun in one and a bloody knife in the other hand.

Ha.

Even in my subconscious, the image of his murderous nature remained as fresh as ever.

"So...who is this mystery man, Kitty Kat?" Rosy pressed on after a few moments of silence ensued but I immediately placed my brush back down before covering up the painting and slowly standing up with the support of her hand.

For the past three months, James and Rosy have respected my wishes to keep my past private and never tried to force me into revealing any details. But as time went on, I could tell they were getting more and more worried about me and wanted me to share the truth with them but I can't tell them and risk their safety even more than I already have by staying with them.

"It's...no one...no one important, anyway," a small sigh escaped my lips before I tugged Rosy's hand towards the door leading straight to the living room. I could feel her reluctance and her curiosity lingering in the air but I chose to ignore it, for her own safety, and changed the topic instead.

"How's the nursery coming along? Did James finish the crib?" all of the previous solemn and bitter emotions left when I thought of the sweet nursery in the making.

James and Rosy designated the small bedroom beside their daughter's, little Riella's, bedroom to be for my twins. I had completed the painting of the four walls and made a rainbow mural on one wall last week. I wanted to help James build the crib as well but he insisted on building one himself and forbade me from entering the nursery for the time being.

"Oh, you know how James is. He's a perfectionist, he won't let you see that thing until it's absolutely perfect, and perfect it will be because our Kitty Kat and soon-to-be niece and nephew deserve nothing but the best!" Rosy exclaimed as I let out a soft giggle and nodded my head before following her into the dining room for dinner.

***

"Auntie Katty, up!" Little Riella called from the ground with her tiny arms outstretched towards me as I reached down and picked her up before holding her against my hip. Almost immediately, Rosy tried to take her away from me but I evaded her hands while Riella and I laughed mischievously. They seriously worry too much about me, just because I am six months pregnant, that doesn't mean I can't carry another child in my arms.

If little Eli were here, I would be carrying... No stop it Katerina, you'll just cry more if you think about him.

Riella placed her small head against the side of my neck, making my heart clench in pain as it was something little Eli would always do whenever I held him. I masked my emotions though with a bright smile before taking a seat in the living room as James fumbled over the television system.

"What movie are you putting in, J?" I asked without looking over at him since the little carbon copy of him sitting in my lap had pulled my hands towards her beautiful blonde hair and gave me her puppy dog eyes.

I let out a small laugh before adjusting her on my lap and taking the elastic out of my own fishtail braid so that I can use it for little Riella's hair. Ever since she saw me with my red hair in a fishtail braid months ago, she's been asking me almost every other day to do the same hairstyle on her head.

"Well, you know how you were feeling sad about missing our wedding? Well we got a copy of our wedding video sent over by Rosy's mom and we wanted to play it for you! It'll be RiRi's first time watching it too," James explained as my eyes widened before I nodded my head and practically jumped up and down with excitement. Little Riella noticed my excitement and mimicked my emotions, her childish giggles filled the air and a peaceful atmosphere settled in.

A peaceful, homely, loving atmosphere.

I haven't felt this happy and safe in so long. Back then... no, I won't think those thoughts anymore. I won't think about back then anymore.

"Earth to Katty, hello? You there?" Rosy waved her hands in front of me, effectively bringing me back to reality as I nodded my head and waited for James to press play.

"Alright, here we go my special girls," James announced cheekily before closing the lights and pressing play. He settled down onto the sofa beside me with Rosy on his other side.

From the moment I heard the familiar church music in the wedding video start to play with Rosy walking down the aisle, I felt as if I was pulled out of my own body. I could vaguely feel my shaky fingers braid each strand of Riella's hair but my glazed over eyes remained glued onto the television screen.

Almost instantly, I was struck with so many familiar emotions. Emotions that I had tried to forget for the past three months.

Love.

Fear.

Regret.

Memories of my wedding with him kept replaying in my mind and I wanted to look away from the screen but I just couldn't. I watched silently without any words leaving my lips as the priest spoke his part to James and Rosy.

"Do you, James Bonavich, take Rosy Cressington as your lawfully wedded wife, to love and cherish, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do you part?" the priest questioned as a confident James wasted no time in saying yes before the priest repeated the question to Rosy.

But this time, I could barely make out the priests voice.

Instead, I heard my husband's voice from our wedding day.

My eyes shut tightly as Arosio's voice began to fill every thought in my mind and I didn't dare open them again to look at the wedding video. His vows from our wedding and my own vows from our wedding kept repeating itself in my mind.

"Do you, Rosy Cressington, take James Bonavich as your lawfully wedded husband, to love and cherish, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do you part?" the words rang out from the television screen as my eyes snapped open and familiar words escaped my lips before I quickly covered my mouth in horror.

"Yes, for eternity," I had whispered through tears before clamping my hand over my mouth as Rosy gasped beside me while James quickly shut the television off and turned on the lights. I instantly looked away from them, hoping they hadn't seen the tears falling from my eyes this whole time.

"Katty, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" Rosy questioned as she tried to reach out to my trembling shoulders but I flinched away and held onto little Riella tighter. That only made me cry even more though as memories of holding little Eli close to me resurfaced in my mind again.

"James, take Riella upstairs for a bit, okay?" Rosy spoke softly before waiting a few moments until the two of them left the living room.

With only Rosy in the living room, I began to feel a little lighter but still I kept my mouth shut and didn't dare reveal my thoughts. There's no way I could tell her about him, I just can't. He's too dangerous, if she finds out, he might do something to them. His psychotic blood brother, Saverio D'Amore said so himself, with all of that 'Omertà' nonsense.

At the thought of that sinister man, my throat tightened and I could barely breathe. Rosy began to pat my back gently and whispered to take deep breaths. My hands gripped the sides of the sofa as I tried my best to calm down and control my breaths.

"Katty, you can tell me anything, okay? I will never judge you. This panic attack all of a sudden, this is because you are keeping everything to yourself. You are trying to stay strong and keep all of your burdens to yourself but that is not the healthy nor safe choice for you and your babies right now. Please talk to me, tell me what happened and I promise you will feel so much lighter and better after letting everything out," Rosy held my hands in hers with a reassuring smile and I could feel the little bit of self-restraint I had crumbling away with each second that passed.

I want to tell you everything, I really do. I'm so tired, so exhausted of keeping everything to myself. I feel so alone and weak.

I wanted to scream these words aloud but not even a whisper left my open mouth. Rosy noticed my predicament and instead chose to ease me into the topic through a question that I had been avoiding all this time.

"Katty...remember the very first night you came to us, back at Rylan's house that we were renting? Remember how you went to bed right away and we promised to talk about everything in the morning but then in the middle of the night, you woke up screaming and crying. You kept saying that he, whoever 'he' even is, killed James in front of you in that house? But there was nobody who came by that night except for you," Rosy stated as memories of that night flooded into my mind. I had a nightmare that Rosy took Riella upstairs to bed and James and I were downstairs but Arosio somehow found me within 24 hours and killed James as a punishment to me for escaping with his babies.

Thankfully, it was nothing more than a nightmare.

"So...what I'm trying to ask is... I know you told James and I that you and your husband are on some type of spousal break but...Katty, was your husband... abusing you? Did he hurt you? Is that why you ran away?" Rosy's words shocked me to the core as a sharp gasp left my lips before I shook my head several times and screamed out.

"NO! He would never, never ever hurt me. He never even let any of the housekeepers nor guards touch a single strand of hair on my head. He always made sure I was safe and never raised his hand on me, he would never do anything like that to me," my voice came out harsher than I intended as I stood up and screamed at her shocked face before sinking back down onto the sofa with my chest heaving up and down, completely out of breath from my sudden outburst.

"I... I'm sorry, Rosy... I didn't mean to..." I fumbled over my words and placed my head inside my hands as a headache began to settle in.

Why was I so quick to defend Arosio?

Why did the thought of someone insulting Arosio, hurt me so much?

"It's okay, Katty. I'm glad your husband is not a bad man, but then why are you hiding from him? To me, it seems like you still love him dearly," each of Rosy's words were like a knife piercing through my heart as I clenched the fabric of my purple summer dress in my lap and shook my head.

"No...no I don't love him... I can't love him... he....he's not... a good man..." I whispered through tears as my shoulders began to tremble even more.

"But you just said that he never hurt you and that he always made sure nobody hurt you either. It sounds like he loved you very much Katty," I could practically feel Rosy's confusion and I didn't blame her. I wasn't making any sense, I know that but it's only because my lips refused to utter the sole truth that could end all of this.

But I won't confess that truth. I just can't.

"I...know...he never hurt me... but others... he... I mean..." my nervous rambling was cut short as Rosy suddenly placed her arm around my shoulders and interrupted me.

"Oh, I get it! You saw him hurt someone else?" Rosy looked at me as I remained silent for a few seconds before slowly nodding my head.

"Well, was this person a bad or good person?" Rosy questioned softly as I contemplated it for a few moments. That older man who Arosio killed in front of me in his childhood mansion's basement was sent by my father to spy on Elijah and I and kill us.

"Bad, he was a bad guy. He tried to kill me so... my husband... hurt him," I trailed off, not wanting to reveal the fact that Arosio did more than hurt the older man. He killed him while laughing in a sinister manner as if he truly enjoyed killing him.

"Oh my God! Someone tried to kill you? Wait, what's wrong with your husband hurting the man who tried to hurt his wife? I know James would have done the same if someone tried to kill me and little Riella, Katty why are you mad at him?" Rosy began to shake my shoulders as if trying to knock some sense into me but I couldn't form a logical response to her answer.

A sob escaped my lips before I threw myself onto her lap and hugged her tightly around her waist. She instantly began to pat my hair down and whisper soothing words as I continued to cry into her lap. Rosy has always been like a big sister to me, and she had a way of getting things out of me that I have kept buried deep within my subconscious for a long time.

"Katty, tell me the truth. Why are you hiding from the man who tried to protect you? You can't possibly think that punishing him for hurting the evil man who tried to kill you, makes any sense? Every man will do whatever it takes to protect the woman they love, you understand that right?" Rosy whispered as I slowly nodded my head and hiccuped in between my tears before taking a deep breath and finally letting everything out.

"I do, I understand why he did it. He did it to protect me because he loves me. He's always loved me. But that's what terrifies me the most. HIS LOVE FOR ME TERRIFIES ME," I cried out and couldn't even believe the words leaving my lips. I have never admitted this truth to anyone before and yet here I was, finally confessing what is in my heart.

"What do you mean, Katty? You have a man who loves you and you clearly love him too, I mean you're pregnant with his twins, so what is stopping you from being with him?" Rosy pushed for the truth as I leaned into her lap, hid my face and took another shaky breath.

"He... he's the first person to ever love me. I mean, to ever really love me. You already know that when I was born, the Dale family abandoned me on my maternal grandparent's doorstep because I killed my mother at birth. That's all I ever was to anyone in my family, a curse. I grew up thinking my grandparents loved me but then found out that grandmama never wanted to keep me and grandpapa only wanted to keep me because I have the same eyes as my late mother and he didn't want strangers to raise me..." I confessed as Rosy gasped in shock, since she knew my grandparents and saw how they had raised me during our childhood with love. I'm sure this news is as shocking to her as it was to me when grandmama told me the truth a few months ago.

"I can't believe it! I swear if I ever see your grandmama again, I'll strangle her myself! But wait, your husband knew about all of this?" Rosy questioned as I nodded my head and took another deep breath to stabilize my rapid heartbeats.

"Yes...he knew everything. In fact, if it wasn't for him, I probably would have lived without knowing the truth. And despite knowing everything, he still chose me. He showered me with love, he gave me a place to call my true home and a family to call my own. I'm not just talking about our twins but his parents, his two brothers, and our son, my little prince Eli. He...he... gave me all of the love and the home that I always dreamed of having without even asking me for anything in return..." I confessed through tears as my heart continued to ache in pain. The sudden realization of everything Arosio has done and given me hit me full force and I couldn't stop the tears from flowing down.

"Katty... if he's that loving and good to you, then why in the world did you leave him? Is it because you saw him hurt that bad man? I know you've always been too innocent for your own good, you hate the sight of any kind of violence. But Katty, he did that to protect you and that is what any husband would do for their wife. Did he lie to you about this side of him? Did he portray himself as some Saint who would never hurt anyone?" Rosy gently rubbed the top of my head as I remained silent for a few moments with her question repeating itself in my mind.

No... he never hid it from me.

I always knew Arosio is the Italian Mafia Boss, he holds the responsibility of the whole Mafia on his shoulders. I've always known that, even before we got married at the church. He was always honest about that part of his life and tried his best to keep me out of it.

"He's never hid this from me but... I can't help but feel scared at the sight of the man I love hurting other people. I can't help but fear his enemies coming after my innocent babies because of him. But above all, I can't help but fear... I can't help but think... that one day... I could be at home with our babies...and someone will come knocking on our doors and tell me...that he's been killed," I finally confessed my biggest fear, and hearing myself say it aloud finally made me realize something.

"Listen Katty, I don't know what your husband does for a living. If he has enemies... then it can't be anything good. But to me, it sounds like you're more scared of something bad happening to him than you are of him hurting bad people. It sounds like this is more about you being scared of losing the first person who showed you genuine love and gave you a place to call home and a family," Rosy cleared her throat with her hand pausing on my hair before she took a deep breath and resumed rubbing the top of my head soothingly.

The room became eerily silent as I let her words sink in.

That night, when I witnessed Arosio killing that man in his basement... I don't think I reacted the way I did because he killed someone. I always knew he is in charge of the Mafia and killing bad people comes in the job description.

I think... I think it's because I felt immense fear at the thought of the man I love being capable of killing and the thought of how common and easy death is to all of them since they're in the Mafia.

And yet to me, someone who grew up sheltered from any kind of violence, death is not that easy and simple. Just the mere thought of Arosio being in a position that could get him killed any day terrified me so much.

But I didn't want to admit that, I didn't want to admit that he held so much power in my life to make me live each day terrified for his safety. I didn't want to admit that I loved him so much because it scared me. I had never loved anyone as much as I love Arosio.

"I didn't... didn't want to lose him... I didn't want him to abandon me like everyone else has...so I left him before he could leave me. Oh my God, what have I done?" I immediately sat up from Rosy's lap and covered my mouth in shock as my eyes widened at my sudden confession.

I can't believe... how could I do this to him?

He was the only one who stood by my side, I took vows with him and promised to stay by his side for eternity.

How could I betray him like this?

"I can't believe... I hurt him so much, he'll never forgive me. Even if I tell him the truth now, it's too late, he'll never believe me. Rosy, he'll hate me forever, he'll never forgive me," I cried out as Rosy pulled me into her arms and gently patted my trembling shoulders.

Just at that moment, James came back downstairs into the living room and looked at us in shock but I avoided his curious gaze and pulled away from Rosy. She opened her mouth to say something but I shook my head and ran out the back door, towards the garden that I had tended to for the past few months. I quickly found my special wooden egg shaped chair hanging from the tree and sat down on it with my arms wrapped around my bump.

A pair of footsteps quickly followed after me but I didn't have to look up to realize that James had followed me outside. I kept my head down in shame with tears falling as the immense regret of betraying Arosio washed over me.

James knelt down in front of me and took my hands in his before bringing them up to his lips and placing a soft kiss onto the back of my hands.

"Look, I have no idea what you and Rosy spoke about but I did hear the last part. If you regret leaving your husband, I can drive you back to wherever he is tomorrow morning and I will help explain what happened, alright Kitty Kat?" James looked up at me with his crystal blue eyes and I found myself nodding slowly before I shook my head and pulled my hands out of his.

"NO! We can't! He'll never forgive me, he'll hate me and won't listen to my side. If I appear in front of him with you, he'll hurt you. I can't, we can't go tomorrow morning, he'll never forgive me! What if he takes my babies from me as a punishment? What if my nightmare comes true and he hurts you? What if- Ow, ow!" I cried out as my babies kicked inside my stomach and James who had been listening to me with his mouth opened in shock decided to distract me instead. He placed his hand against my bump and jumped up and down excitedly.

"I felt it! I felt the kick! Your babies are so strong, just like you my little Kitty Kat. Now stop worrying, your silly dream from three months ago will never come true. You're going to be with us from now on and we'll raise your kids together, alright?" I could tell that James only said that because he didn't want me to continue stressing about Arosio. But his eyes told me that we would be discussing the topic again later on.

Truthfully, I do want to go back home to Arosio. But I'm scared... after everything I've done to the De Luca family, do I even have the right to call myself a De Luca anymore and to call that place my home?

Before I could reply, the sudden sound of a gunshot piercing through the garden was heard. My gaze snapped to James who was shot in the shoulder and he stumbled back in pain. My horrified screams filled the backyard as I jumped off of the swing and bent down to help him but I froze in complete shock as Arosio's voice suddenly fell into my ears.

"Finalmente ti ho trovata, Katerina. Your running ends tonight. And say goodbye to your little friend who dared to touch what is mine," a gasp escaped my lips as my widened eyes filled with tears, slowly lifted up to meet Arosio's furious dark gaze. I stumbled back in shock when I took in his sudden appearance and began to shiver when I looked at his gun. (I finally found you, Katerina)

I knew he would be upset at my betrayal, he'll never forgive me. No matter what I say, he'll never believe me.

"NO! Please, no Arosio. Don't do it, please. You promised you'd never hurt my loved ones, please don't," I begged with more tears and screamed with my eyes shut tightly when he suddenly pulled the trigger once more.

The world began to spin as my vision blurred and I felt my body fall to the ground before I cried out in agony. Arosio took slow, predatory like steps towards me, bent down and gripped the bottom of my chin to force me to look up at him.

No...this isn't the same Arosio I knew...how could he change so much?

"Benvenuto nella mafia, mia amata," was the last thing I heard him whisper into my ear before everything went black. (Welcome to the Mafia, my beloved)

*******

Hello Lovely Readers!

I am sorry for the delay, I'm actually back at school this week so I was busy preparing for the new University semester! My 21st birthday party is also this week and I had to prepare a lot since I can only invite a few friends and do an outdoor party due to covid-19 (don't worry, we'll be safe!)

I hope you enjoyed this extra long chapter, this is probably the longest chapter in my book but it is one of the most important chapters (in my opinion haha).

What do y'all think, do you think Arosio killed James? What do you think now that you know how Katerina really feels? Do you think Arosio will ever trust her again?

Thanks for reading and as always,

PLEASE READ, VOTE & COMMENT!