This chapter is brought to you by 織風結 by 陰陽師 Onmyoji.

Edited by: bafflinghaze

---

Where to begin?

Astella had always known her innate nature was like that of an evil beast.

She embodied the greed and selfishness of her forefathers, the desire to conquer, and the constant dissatisfaction of not having enough.

That was the beginning of the end.

She had only cared for herself, barely paying attention to everything else around her, and in the end, she lost the one good thing left in her world.

Her downfall had all been due to her greediness. She had wanted both worlds and in doing so, she lost everything.

It took an entire lifetime for her to realize her mistakes.

The gods had given her a second chance to undo them, so she desperately grasped the opportunity and went back.

Back to a time before everything had gone to hell.

Back when she still had two sons instead of one.

Back before her sister's little monster ruined the world.

Astella was on a mission to stop a great evil—to prevent that hellish future from ever coming true.

She was thankfully given two years before everything fell apart.

It was regrettable that she couldn't go back further, but two years was better than none.

Everything had been coming along just fine. She pulled all the strings within her grasp, blocking off potential pathways the beast would have taken a year's time from now.

This time, she took full control of the Iron Lotus with a swift hand, using brute force rather than the slow, battle-of-wits strategy she employed in the past, weeding out the traitors and sealing off exit routes.

A year after she traveled back in time, Astella found the half-cousin her grandfather hid from her and branded him with the Slave Emblem.

She was fully aware of the fact that it wouldn't be enough to fully stop his ambitions, but as long as she could keep an eye on him, she believed she could stop his attempts to overthrow her reign in the Iron Lotus.

(She had always been soft at the worst of times, allowing those who only knew how to wreak havoc to live just because they shared blood. Unfortunately, that was just the way she kept her goodness.)

The coup Llewyn led in their last lifetime had been bloody, and with Elliot's death still fresh in her mind, along with the political upheaval the beast had caused with his demise, there was nothing Astella could have done to stop his challenge for the Head Lotus.

(She found Leotine and Lucian dead in their rooms one day, tucked in their beds with their eyes closed as if they were merely asleep.)

The only thing she needed to do after that was command Elliot to break off ties with that beast—

One day, her son came home from school with tears in his eyes.

"..."

Astella paid it no mind at first, too busy warding off her grandfather's attempts to bring her back and dealing with the daily bullshit that was the criminal underworld.

(Many people tended to underestimate how much administration and overhead cost went into the spendings of criminal organizations. Not many people realized they were also required to prepare annual financial statements.)

As long as Elliot was willing to stay at home for the next few weeks and away from that beast, it was all the better.

Astella prepared for the upcoming future, guarding herself carefully. In spite of all the precautions she took, however, she still felt unsettled.

Then she learned from her informants of the boy's sudden connection to the Magic Tower—

No!

Astella couldn't let it happen again.

Changing the past meant changing the present, and it seemed the boy was seeking other avenues of power now that he realized certain paths were no longer available to him.

Astella had no choice but to keep him down. If not kill him, at the very least, he should be made vulnerable and weak.

So she sent him a warning.

(Gods, Alouysia would despise her from the grave.)

And now, in spite of it all, her reckoning came.

In spite of all that had been done, Astella knew this was her doom.

She would be undone, unwind, unraveled.

These were her thoughts as she was led into a room with large windows.

A teacup slid toward her as she sat down at a coffee table, freshly brewed by a young man with a Slave Emblem etched across his eyes.

"I hope you don't mind dandelion root," the child whom she despised with all her heart spoke.

Astella stared at the teacup.

The boy was seated across from her on the opposite end of the table.

Standing behind him were her former apprentice sisters, whom she could no longer bear to look at lest she remembered their shared past and crumbled into dust.

Astella did not shake as she took the offered cup.

"If you seek to poison me, I should warn you it won't work."

The child raised his eyes and blinked at her. In confusion, at first. But then he faced her with a focused intensity that made the tiny hairs on the back of her neck stand on their ends in trepidation, as if he was picking her apart little by little.

Astella wondered if she was making a mistake, as she found herself unable to look away from Alouysia's eyes.

She had not seen this child since he was six and dying.

No longer was the boy an emaciated thing, with only skin and bones, and gaunt cheeks and hollowed eyes. He had been a filthy little street rat, covered in dust and dirt, and dressed in rags, and was constantly fighting with the alleycats for scraps of food.

It was a wonder how her gentle, lovely, and radiant sister was capable of birthing such a wild and ugly beast.

Time and wealth had changed the boy.

His hair was now soft, feathery, and pitch black rather than dusty, like that of his father's. He now exuded life, and his face bore a strong resemblance reminiscent of Alouysia on days when she couldn't deign anyone a smile, tired from a night of entertaining her clients with song and dance.

Astella had vowed to never meet this child again.

She refused to acknowledge his existence unless she deemed it necessary after her sister's passing.

Alas, emotions took their toll on her. Even if she wanted to be like ice, she knew she would have been utterly helpless and given in to his every request if he ever tried to win her favor by imitating his mother's mannerisms.

So she stayed far away the first time around, giving in nonetheless when he reached out to the Syndicate and the Iron Lotus, but unwilling to interact with him.

He was the parasite that Alouysia lovingly fed her own lifeblood to, the one she chose over Astella, and ultimately died for.

Astella never forgave him for that, as unfair as it was to blame the child.

And after living through the first lifetime, she had little love left to give for this beast who killed her son.

---

Neo wondered if he was making a mistake.

He had not originally planned to confront Countess Moores in the way that he was doing now, with tea and privacy, but he knew that a public condemnation was a waste of time and energy, and he wasn't that petty.

(Oh, he was. He was incredibly petty and vengeful and if it wasn't for the fact that he wanted answers, he would have one hundred percent pulled a public condemnation event during the wake.)

The revelations Aunt Auria and Duchess Elysium provided as they were mapping out the Countess' intentions had drawn his interest.

Neo remembered back to the conversation they had while he was still in his sickbed...

"My what?"

Laurel stared at him in surprise. "You mean no one told you?"

"No...?" Neo eyed her with bewilderment, because what the hell?

"Has your father never told you who tipped him off about you wandering around in the slums?"

"But that would mean—no, no way. That would mean Elliot and I are—that she and Mummy were—"

Laurel nodded patiently. "That is correct, dear. How about some more gelatinous cakes?"

Neo would like to tell her that Jello was not the answer to the issue he was currently facing, but he couldn't find it in his heart to reject the Duchess.

He shoved a spoonful of Jello into his mouth and pondered the question of why the Countess would try to kill him.

—and those thoughts soon led him to wondering why he decided to kill people, and oof, did that lead him down the slippery slope of regrets.

He covered his eyes with the back of his arm and sighed.

"Do not overthink the matter, nephew," Aunt Auria said without looking up from her book. She was at her usual spot in his recovery ward, seated on a chair with a cup of tea in front of her.

"Stella has lived with her grief for a long time. It is time for her to move on, and if that means stopping her and condemning her for her crimes, then so be it. It is in your right as a person who fell victim to her attack."

"I see."

There was a moment of silence.

Laurel gave a heavy sigh and shook her head. "You might have already known this, but Julius' constitution was due to a neurotoxin," she said.

The change of topic was not something Neo anticipated, but he nonetheless nodded.

Laurel smiled sadly. "Stella had been involved in the incident. Whether or not she was the one who ordered it, she never said a single word to defend herself."

It was less of an explanation, and more of a statement of fact.

"Laurel," Aunt Auria warned, voice low with a hint of trepidation.

Laurel shook her head. "I am not arguing in her favor, Auria. I know she deserves what is coming for her." She turned to Neo. "She is your blood, Nazareth, therefore, you are free to do whatever you must do. I just want to warn you, however, that Stella is tight-lipped when she wants to be, and keeps you guessing with mind games and riddles. Don't let emotions get in the way of what is most important. You must make sure you have the upper hand, or else, she will devour you completely."

Neo wasn't sure what to say to that... very intense advice.

Thank you?

"I will try my best," he said, instead.

It was far better than saying 'sorry that the reunion with your ex-best friend might end with her going to prison.'

"Your best will not be enough. You will need to show her you are your mother's son."

"Oh."

Knowing what he knew now, Neo faced the woman who poisoned him and let out the most mournful sigh he could muster.

Then, in the breathless accent of the Lotus Garden, he said, "You know, I always wanted to meet you, Aunt Stella."

---

The teacup fell from her hand and clattered against the table, spilling the content all over the surface.

But no one reacted.

Instead, all eyes were drawn to the boy whose lips were upturned slightly in a small and subtle smile reminiscent of his late mother.

"You know, I always wanted to meet you, too, Astella."

A woman with golden blonde hair and vermillion red eyes appeared in Astella's vision, overlapping with the boy sitting across from her.

She was frozen in her seat and couldn't speak a word as she stared.

Oh, Alouysia.

All her life, Astella had been dying to meet her.

She had dreamt of how to greet her, of what to say to her, of her laugh and her smile, and warm hugs and gentle touches.

All things that she never had, she imagined she would receive in an older sister whom she never met.

Astella put all her hopes in this older sister, and it was that hope that kept her going.

When she was young, she often thought of what Alouysia's world must have been like—if they were like each other, or if she was living well. If she had to suffer, or if she was ever in pain, Astella wanted to know this sister whom her father loved the most.

The world she lived in was cold and cruel. It swallowed any goodness and spat out damaged people.

There was no kindness around her, no care or trust. The type of world Astella was entrenched in did not love her—so in turn, she grew obsessed with finding a family who could.

Then came the day her father died, and then her mother.

With no one left to hold her back, she ran away from her grandfather and met Bryn—and that was where it all began.

---

Astella panted as she stumbled into an alleyway and pressed herself against the stone walls of a building.

The knight patrol ran past her, heavy metal boots leaving dust in the air as they got further and further away.

She breathed a sigh of relief.

Thank the gods.

Once again, she found herself fleeing from the authorities.

It was, as Laurel put it, "an occupational hazard," when one traveled with Bryn.

It started as a simple visit to the Capitol. They were low on supplies, and the next village would take two weeks to reach.

They had to risk it, despite the wanted posters being printed faster than a plague—but one thing led to another and suddenly, they were being chased like criminals.

Which they were because Bryn didn't have a healing license.

The moment the knight patrol started to appear, Bryn threw an empty glass bottle on the ground and yelled "Scatter!" before running off.

... Leaving the three of them—their apprentices—behind.

"Run!" Laurel had shouted, before taking off in another direction.

Astella reached behind her to grab Auria, but when her hand met air, she turned and saw that the girl was already long gone.

That left her standing stupidly by herself while the knight patrol started closing in.

"Son of a—"

Astella booked it, running as if debt collectors were chasing after her for unpaid interest at ridiculously high rates.

And now she was in this alleyway, hiding from the knight patrol.

The alleyway led to a windy path, which led to more windy paths and forks on the road.

There were twists and turns, and it was like that for what felt like hours, but she kept moving, hoping to find an exit somewhere or a familiar street. The sun eventually started to set, and soon, it was dust.

Eventually, she stumbled upon a quiet road with wooden buildings on each side—all of which had red lanterns hanging in front of them, but no people in sight.

"This is no place for a girl like you, lovely."

Astella jumped at the voice and quickly turned around.

A young man—maybe no older than herself—stood in front of her, squinting at her with an unnerving gleam in his eyes.

He wore fine green robes and held a long smoke pipe. He brought the pipe to his lips and blew smoke into the air, hitting Astella in the face.

She took a step back in displeasure.

He chuckled.

"You looking for work?"

"... No."

Astella suddenly realized where she was.

The young man had a decent appearance and was dressed to the nines, yet he did not conduct himself as someone of a noble upbringing.

"Shame," he answered, lips stretching into a coy smile.

With his shock of long orange hair and half-lidded but playful eyes, he reminded Astella of a wily fox.

"The name's Laertes. You have anywhere to go, lovely?"

Astella shook her head. "I'm just here to get supplies. I was with my companions at the market, but we got separated."

"You're far from any sort of supplies unless you're seeking a fun night."

"No, thank you."

Laertes chuckled. "Well, I would love to guide you out, but night's about to fall, and once those lanterns are lit, it's best for a girl like you to stay behind walls."

Astella had no idea what to say to that.

Like, was he offering shelter? Food? Extra supplies?

Laertes looked at her for a moment.

Astella stared back.

Finally, he hummed and tucked his pipe away.

"My shift's about to start in an hour. I can sneak you in for a night of food and board if you have anything to offer as payment."

"Are you allowed to do that?"

Laertes shrugged. "You only live once, and I'm meant to die young. The Madam is lenient with me."

"Don't say that," Astella automatically replied.

As a healer's apprentice, she was taught all lives were sacred. Bryn was very adamant that they swore by the oath of 'do no harm.'

Laertes ignored her rebuke and made an amused sound. "Anyway, you're far from the market, lovely, and I'm offering a place to stay. Won't you follow me home tonight?"

Gods, did this man only know how to proposition people?

However, the sky was getting dark and the red lanterns were starting to light. There were people emerging from the alleyways, dressed in varying degrees of extravagance or threadbare clothes.

Astella sighed.

She could only hope that Bryn and the others managed to regroup and that she would see them tomorrow at the agreed-upon ren-de-vous point.

"I don't have money," she admitted.

"Well," Laertes looked her up and down, "Can you dance—"

"But I do have medicine."

The man paused. It looked as if he was calculating several things in his head. Then he beamed. "I can work with that."

---

Let it be known that it was never wise to follow a strange man home, no matter how good-looking he was.

Nevertheless, Astella found herself in a unique position of taking up charity from a man whose profession she had already guessed but didn't voice.

"Welcome to the Lotus Garden, lovely. You want some tea? Fruit wine? I'll have you know, I'm pretty good at mixing drinks."

The Lotus Garden was a high-end brothel with prostitutes dressed in outfits worth more than both of Astella's kidneys.

She was brought to a room furnished with a canopy bed, a low table with a porcelain tea set in the center, and covered with silk, brocade, and furs.

Astella was hit with the scent of roses. It wasn't extremely overwhelming, but it was one of the first things she noticed the moment she entered the room.

"Are you taking patients right now, lovely?"

She was brought out of her thoughts by Laerte's question and immediately headed over to the table first.

She unpacked her bags and brought out all the available medicines she currently had with her, along with Hollyhock and her sisters.

The emerald hummingbirds she rescued from the black market have now grown to half the size of her palm. They zipped around the room, exploring the space at lightning-quick speed.

Laertes whistled.

"Alright then. I guess you're ready for business."

Men and women started to enter the room. By evening, there was a line forming outside.

"It's syphilis. You will need a penicillin injection," Astella told one of them, holding a bottle in one hand and gesturing for Hollyhock to come close.

The hummingbird dipped her beak into the bottle and sucked in a good amount of the Blue Blight antidote.

The man she was currently treating blinked in confusion as this was happening. "I have what? Wait, what's an injec—"

The man screamed when Astella ordered Hollyhock to stab her beak into his arm.

"Okay, hold still. You need two more. Also, you should keep away from sex for a few weeks."

"..."

"Next!"

Thankfully, there were few people with sexually transmitted diseases. Most of them just needed first-aid treatment—though there were a few men and women who needed to get their bones reset as well, and that meant rebreaking their bones.

"You're no ordinary healer, are you, lovely?"

Laertes came to check in on her a few hours into her 'shift' and watched as she forced a woman's arm into a splint.

"How could you tell?"

"Just a hunch," he shrugged. "I don't think I've ever seen healers rebreak a broken arm or have their pet bird stab a patient."

Astella was careful not to react as she nonchalantly replied, "I'm from a different school of thought."

"That's philosophy, lovely."

She didn't reply.

Laertes looked like he was about to say something else, but there was suddenly a knock on the door.

"Excuse me, are you still doing checkups?"

There was a girl at the door with golden blond hair and red vermillion eyes. She was dressed in cream-colored and scarlet robes.

She was smiling prettily.

And Astella—

Her eyes zeroed in on a golden hair stick in her hair.

It had no beads or chains. There was nothing ornate about it.

But she recognized the make—Castas smithing techniques—and the dandelion carvings her father once described to her when he spoke of a gift he was planning to give for when he found her sister.

Astella felt as if all the air in her lungs had been sucked out of her as she stared with eyes blown wide.

It felt like a dream.

This wasn't real.

Could it truly be?

The girl who wore the golden hair stick tilted her head, her smile fading ever so slightly and slowly shifting into a concerned frown.

"... Are you alright, my lady?"

"..."

"Lovely?"

For a good ten years, she dreamt of how to greet her.

For days and nights, she couldn't help but hope.

Hope that someday she would get the chance to meet her, the older sister she had never known.

"I..." Astella paused.

Time stretched, but she couldn't speak a word.

"You...?" Alouysia seemed hesitant, though her eyes remained gentle. Patient. Waiting.

Astella swallowed. "Astella," she said. "My name is Astella."

"I see. It is good to meet you, Astella—"

"I'm your sister!"

Silence.

There was silence in the room.

Astella reeled back in horror.

Oh no.

Oh no, no, no, no, no.

This wasn't how it was supposed to go.

"Ah—"

"I—I'm sorry, this must be a complete shock. I—I... sorry, you must be so confused right now—"

She looked down at the floor and felt her eyes growing hot. Tears began to blur her vision. They slid uncomfortably down her face.

Shame.

All she felt was shame and embarrassment.

How foolish she was to ruin it all with her stuttering and gaping and staring.

Astella bit her lips, muffling a sob trying to escape from her chest.

But then—

Warm arms wrap around her.

She froze.

"You know," a gentle voice entered her ears. "I always wanted to meet you, too, Astella. How do you do? I'm Alouysia."

---

Dawn broke and Astella was exhausted from working the entire night.

"It's time to leave, lovely," a hoarse voice said from beside her.

Astella blearily blinked from where she was sitting and saw Laertes with a tired smile. He was seated next to her and nursing a cup of freshly brewed tea.

"... Where's Alouysia?"

He wordlessly pointed to the bed.

Astella glanced over and saw that Alouysia was tucked inside the covers and dead asleep.

"You need to leave before the Madam finds out," Laertes warned with an apologetic tone.

Astella groaned.

She started to pack up.

Hollyhock and her sisters had long returned to her bag and were snuggled up inside the makeshift nest she made to house them.

"Let me guide you back," Laertes offered.

So there they were, at the ass crack of dawn, trudging through the quiet road of the Red Light District.

"Tell my sister I will come see her again," she told Laertes.

He brought her back to the open market street, which was mostly empty of people.

The handsome man made a wounded face, though Astella knew he was merely jesting. "I hope you will come visit me as well. Especially after the night of passion we spent with each other."

Sure, if he considered treating patient after patient nonstop and crying into her sister's arms a night of "passion."

"How's your voice?"

The man suddenly flushed red in embarrassment. "Ah."

Astella raised a knowing brow.

Laertes had a client who made him sing a set of songs over and over again during the night, and his voice eventually gave out.

She prescribed him a tin of throat pastilles Bryn made for her and he sounded much better than he did several hours ago.

Despite being embarrassed at the reminder of what happened to his voice, Laertes recovered quickly enough to take her hand into his own.

He pressed his lips against her knuckle and smiled charmingly. "I am feeling much better thanks to your tender care, though it makes me wish I needn't die young. If I had known you existed earlier, perhaps we could have grown old together."

"Please don't joke about dying young," Astella admonished.

Laertes grinned. "I bid you a good day, lovely."

Then he tossed her a wink and left, green robes fluttering and all.

"... What the hell was that?"

Astella stiffened.

She turned around and saw Bryn, Laurel, and Auria standing there with bewildered expressions on their faces.

"Did you..." Laurel looked between her and Laertes' retreating figure.

Back and forth, back and forth... the realization dawned on her.

"You—him—no, you! Stella, what did you—no. No way." Laurel took a step back, eyes wide in horror. "No, no, no, no, no... Stella, please tell me there were two beds."

What the hell was Laurel talking about? "There was one, but we didn't sleep."

"What?!" Laurel yelled. "You were up the entire night?!"

Um.

"... Yes?"

Auria blinked at her curiously. "How was it?"

"... Exhausting?"

Bryn suddenly fell backward.

"Bryn! By the gods, Astella! You've killed Bryn!"

They surrounded their mentor with concern, although Astella was more worried by the scene they were making out in the open than Bryn's current state.

Bryn's eyes snapped open. "Too young," they said, "too young, Star. You are baby."

She slowly pointed at herself in confusion. "... I am baby?"

Bryn slowly wrapped their arms around her. "Baby."

The misunderstanding was soon cleared once Astella emphasized that no, she did not sleep with some random guy she just met, no matter how good-looking he was.

"Laertes—"

"Oh, so his name is Laertes."

"Stop it, Auria," Astella admonished without heat. "Anyway, Laertes brought me to this place called the Lotus Garden and I finally met my older sister—"

"Wait, hold up. Your sister?"

Astella sighed. "Yes, Laurel. My sister. That's the whole reason why I ran away from the Castas' in the first place—"

She received varying reactions from that revelation.

"What the fuck—!"

"Jesus Christ on a pogo stick—"

"Isn't that a crime family...?"

Astella left the Capitol with all three of her companions lecturing her on the importance of essential information and the dangers of half-lies, secrets, and unknown mysteries.

---

They returned to the Capitol as a group half a year later, requiring more supplies than ever before.

The tension between the Polska Nation and the Empire was starting to bleed into the border villages and many villagers have started to move closer to the Capitol.

Their group was used to crossing the Desert Land often, but they had noticed an uptick in human encounters since a skirmish broke out near the border between some soldiers.

As things started to get heated, the attention on Bryn was alleviated. More and more people were coming to them for healing as many healers had raised their prices.

The wanted posters that used to be pasted everywhere were now replaced by announcements encouraging men and women to join the military.

It was around this time that Astella—who visited the Capitol more often now that she had found her sister—took her companions to the Lotus Garden to meet Alouysia.

"Alouysia, meet my companions. This is Bryn, our teacher."

"Hello, sister Star."

"And these are my apprentice-sisters, Laurel and Auria."

"Hi, it's so nice to finally meet you. Astella talks about you all the time."

"Greetings, Lady Alouysia."

Alouysia performed a graceful bow.

"How do you do? Stella has told me much about your travels. It is admirable the work you do."

Bryn smiled at the praise while both Auria and Laurel blushed.

The experience of being complimented by a beautiful lady was truly unique.

"My shift doesn't start for another few hours. If you have anything to offer me, I can take you to my room for tea?"

Astella handed Alouysia a bag of coins. "We'll pay for the whole night."

Her sister smiled and leaned down to kiss her on the cheek. "My dear Stella, you are just the cutest," she said, before making her way up the stairs of the brothel.

Astella flushed and blubbered at the affection, but nonetheless, followed after her.

The moment they sat down at a low tea table in Alouysia's room, they were each given a cup of tea, freshly brewed through an elegant ceremony and served with the grace and beauty that only her sister could produce.

"Music, anyone?"

Laurel protested, "Oh, no, you don't need—"

"I insist," Alouysia swiftly cut her off. "Stella may have paid for the night, but this is my payment to all of you for taking care of my little sister."

Again, Astella flushed bright red in embarrassment.

Despite being met with objections, Alouysia took out a harp and started to pluck at the strings.

A familiar melody filled the air, and Astella blinked in surprise.

"Yellow flower, gold and bright

Make a wish with all your might..."

Astella was singing Odille's Lullaby, an ancient Casta song from long ago, passed down from parent to child. There were remnants of history dating back to the first Castas within its lyrics, but no one knew the meaning behind the song.

Her father had once told her, "It's just a song, Astella. Someone could have made it up and decided it was worth keeping in the records because of how catchy it sounded. Not everything needs to have meaning, you know?"

"Yellow flower dance along

'Neath the moonlight sky above

Close your eyes

Paradise

I am here beside you"

Yet, Astella always wondered about this paradise the song was referring to.

"Yellow flower, gold and bright

Look out to the distant sky

No more tears

Never fear

I am here beside you"

Everyone clapped as Alouysia plucked the last few notes to the song, concluding the melody with a graceful trill.

Her sister smiled charmingly, and then took out some playing cards and a bottle of wine.

"Who wants to play a game?"

Both Astella's apprentice sisters raised their hands.

Astella immediately declined.

And that was how Laurel and Auria were tricked into a drinking game with the gambling goddess of the Lotus Garden.

Astella learned early on to never play games with her sister.

Alouysia has never lost a gamble in her life.

She sat near the bed and watched Laurel and Auria get completely obliterated within the first ten minutes of the game.

Bryn wandered over with their cup of tea and sat beside her.

"Good thing, family," they said, smiling. "You love sister?"

"I do," Astella responded.

Two weeks into their stay in the Capitol, a messenger arrived at their inn with a letter for Auria.

Bryn tilted their head in confusion. "Repeat?"

Auria stared at the letter in a daze.

"It seems... I must return home."

---

A year after Auria left them, they heard news of her leaving for the Polska Nation.

Another year later, they heard she was coming home.

A week after that letter was sent to them, there was news that the Odum Family Heir had died on her trip back to the Empire.

Then, there was war.

Everything was bleak. Bryn had wanted to go to the battlefield to tend to the wounded.

Astella and Laurel followed them, despite their objections.

War was hell.

Then, one day, Bryn received a note from an anonymous sender. There were only two words written on the note.

I lived.

---

Astella had an opportunity to return to the Capitol one day.

The enemy soldiers' morale was at an all-time low since Vespera Arcadia—now known as the Butcher of the Battlefield—joined the army.

Astella had never seen her before, but according to the rumors, she was a terrifying monster who could slaughter her way through an army in as little as a couple of hours.

Bryn saw this breakthrough for what it was, an opportunity for a well-earned vacation. They ordered them to rest for a month.

Laurel took advantage of this break to head for the northern front.

Bryn went to the coast to gather materials.

Astella left to visit the Lotus Garden.

When she arrived, she saw that the building was completely deserted of clients.

"Astella!" Alouysia cried out, surprised, shocked, and relieved. "Thank the gods, you're okay!"

Astella spent the entirety of her break with her sister.

One night, Alouysia was embroidering under an oil lamp.

Her embroidery skills were excellent. The image of yellow dandelions were vivid and pure.

As she embroidered, she spoke to Astella, who was leaning against her knees, "Father found me several years ago. Visited me twice to confirm I was his daughter. He promised he would take me away, but then he disappeared."

"Father suddenly died ten years ago," Astella responded, her tone despondent at the reminder of their father's death.

"Is that so? He had come across as quite powerless, if not naive and idealistic."

"It was grandfather who did it."

Alouysia paused. "Do you mourn him?"

"... No. Do you?"

Alouysia smiled sadly and shook her head.

"He had only been a stranger who sung me a beautiful song and gifted me little trinkets."

"Odille's Lullaby," Astella realized.

"Indeed. I had always wondered whether he loved dandelions because he loved them, or he was taught to love them through the song."

"It is a flower that perseveres through hardship."

Alouysia stitched another dandelion.

"Astella, if you were to return to your family, you must promise me this."

"I will not return—"

"But you will," Alouysia said, knowingly. "You are powerless the way you are now, and I can see in your eyes that you desire for more. Sooner or later, this will not be enough for you."

"..."

"Promise me."

"... What is it?"

"You must always remember, come what may, that your mindset should be as vast and free as the clear sky, without dark clouds or sorrowful rain, forever gentle and clear. You must be as resilient and brave as a dandelion flower, and remind yourself that you are brilliant, kind, and compassionate. That you are soft beneath your shell. This is how you will retain goodness."

Astella didn't answer.

She felt her sister caress her head.

Alouysia's touch was as warm as sunlight.

---

A message came for Astella one day while she and Laurel traveled to a border village. It was from her grandfather.

The messenger knocked her out and took her back to the Syndicate.

"This is Leed Thomas. You will marry him."

Her grandfather did not welcome her home with a meal or an audience. The first words to leave his mouth was regarding marriage.

It was clear she had not been missed.

Astella took one look at Leed Thomas and instantly refused.

"He is already in love with his partner."

"Nonsense," her grandfather denied. "She is to be sent to the Holy City next week and will be out of your hair. The wedding is scheduled for this month. I expect the both of you to bear strong children for the family."

The very next day, Astella escaped the Syndicate with the help of Leed Thomas, and his lover and colleague, Edel Addison.

The first thing she did after that was make her way back to the Lotus Garden.

Then, she bought Laerte's time.

"Well isn't this a surprise, lovely? I felt as if I haven't seen you in ages. Your sister will be glad to know you're here—"

"Please have a child with me."

"..."

Laertes' mouth fell open in surprise. "Can you repeat—"

"I would like to make a child with you."

The man pursed his lips.

"Lovely, I am truly flattered, but don't you think we're going a little too fast—"

"If you do not do this, I will have to marry a man who is in love with someone else."

"Say no more, lovely. Didn't think I was going to be a father at this age, but I will die young, so might as well."

"You will live a long life," Astella interjected, as was habit by now.

But Laertes did not smirk as per usual at her words, or ignore her reproach. Rather, his face contorted into an awkward expression, and for a long moment, there was only silence.

"Oh, lovely. Before we have a child together, I think there's something you should know..."

Astella was rooted to the ground as Laertes revealed a very important secret to her.

"Earl Moores must never know," she found herself saying.

"Lovely—"

Astella interrupted him. "He absolutely despises his son's lover. A former maidservant and decorated military leader is not enough to detract from the fact that she is a commoner. What will he do to you if he finds out you are his son? An illegitimate child? He will have you killed."

Laertes wrapped his arms around her and she stiffened. "That won't happen, lovely," he said in a soothing tone. "I think I will die first before he ever finds out."

"... Why do you keep saying that?"

"Is it not obvious?" Laertes tilted his head.

And finally, Astella connected all the dots in her head.

He had been pale when they first met. There were signs of fatigue on his face, and it looked like he had bruises on his skin that took a long time to fade.

Slowly, ever so slowly, Astella reached out and took his arm. She rolled up the large billowing sleeve of his robes and froze.

Small red dots speckled all over his arm.

Astella inhaled sharply and glared at the dots.

"You have Snow Blood Disease."

Laertes gently lowered his gaze. "Nothing short of a miracle will cure it, I'm afraid. Started experiencing symptoms a few years ago, but it was too late by then. The healers don't think I will live past twenty three." He looked at her sadly. "You have plenty of other options for a father of your hypothetical child, lovely. One that will hopefully live much longer than I."

Astella assessed him for a moment. Neither of them had moved from the embrace they found themselves in and it seemed they were both perfectly content by the fact.

Finally, Astella said, "Have a child with me."

Laerte's eyes widened in surprise. "But..." he scrutinized her face, as if searching for falsehood. "... Are you sure?"

She looked him in the eyes, charcoal black meeting silver grey.

Alouysia's words echoed in the back of her mind.

"I would like to have a child with you, Laertes."

---

When she found herself with child and told Laertes of it, he cried and laughed with joy.

She bought his time and they went to his bed, where they laid beside each other and did nothing but be content by each other's warmth.

"I found out recently that I have a nephew." Laertes broke the silence with unexpected news.

Oh?

He nuzzled his nose against her hair and sighed. "My half-brother visited me the other day and told me about it."

"How did he find out you were here?"

"His lover, Lydia, was looking for blackmail on the Earl—I believe she was planning to threaten him with a scandal if he still didn't approve of her and Lucian's relationship by the end of the war—and found out he had been a regular visitor of the Lotus Garden twenty years ago."

"She recognized you."

Laertes smirked. "She recognized both me and my sister. Our resemblance to our half-brother is uncanny, apparently."

"So what now?"

"I hopefully get to meet my nephew, someday. I heard he's only three this year."

"A child out of wedlock?"

"They really want to marry each other."

"I see."

Laerte held her against his chest as if he believed he could protect her from the world.

It was ridiculous. He was no protector and was the most powerless person she had ever met.

But this gift...

Astella's hand automatically went to her stomach.

Somehow, he still managed to save her from her own powerlessness in the only way he could.

Laertes hummed and placed a kiss against her temple. "Lovely, there are so many roses."

"Roses?"

She sniffed the air.

Yes, Laertes did like his roses. The scent covered his entire room, and he even smelled faintly of the flowers on his hair and skin.

"Everyday with you is like roses in my life."

Astella scowled at the shameless words and burrowed her face into the crook of his neck in protest.

---

Astella was nineteen, six months pregnant, and angry as she stormed into her sister's chambers—Laertes was hot on her heels and with the foolish notion that he could hold her back from committing murder.

How had she not recognize the symptoms? She had seen Alouysia literally a month ago!

"Who was it?!"

Alouysia, pale from labor and looking exhausted beyond belief, smiled at her in greeting.

"Come meet your nephew, Stella. Isn't he beautiful?"

The baby, an ugly pinkish thing, looked like a piece of skinned hagroot.

Astella made a face.

She didn't know whether or not to feel angry at the fact that Alouysia hid her pregnancy, or relieved that the labor had gone smoothly and she was fine.

"Why did you keep it? And who is the father—?"

"Astella," Alouysia said, her smile more joyful than ever before. "Would you like to hold him?"

Seconds later, Astella found herself holding the ugly little thing.

She frowned at the baby and the baby frowned back at her.

It seemed neither of them were very happy with Alouysia at the moment.

She didn't miss the way Laertes mouthed a silent 'thank you' to Alouysia and rolled her eyes.

"He had been crying up a storm five minutes ago. Why is he so quiet in your arms?" Laertes muttered in astonishment.

Astella and the baby kept frowning at each other.

---

Laertes was dead.

His twin, Ophelia, was the one to deliver the news.

"Before he... died, Laertes told me something. It was a message for you," Ophelia's eyes were rimmed red with unshed tears.

Astella felt her chest being squeezed tight. They were in the foyer of her rental home. It was a small and cramped space enough for just her and her son. She found it while wandering through the Eastern Slums with Laertes.

Laertes was the one who chose this place, and he often visited when he could.

"Go ahead," Astella said, trying to ignore the thundering echo of her own heart shattering into a million pieces.

"He wanted me to tell you that when he was with you, there were roses in his life."

Suddenly, she couldn't breathe.

Everything around her was falling apart, and she couldn't stop it.

So much was happening all at once. She was losing all the good things in her life.

Make it stop! Make it stop! Make it stop!

Astella instantly fell to her knees.

"Astella?!" Ophelia exclaimed.

"There were roses in my life, too..." she managed to croak out; her chest aching and aching and aching. "... So many roses..."

Faintly, she could hear Elliot's cries in the background. Her poor son, not even four years old and already, his father was gone.

---

A minor plague had spread through the Slums and Red Light District without anyone noticing.

The emperor had ordered the infected areas to be closed off, lest the disease spread to the rest of the Capitol, and was working on convincing the Church to send priests and priestesses in to help.

Some independent healers had chosen to take the risk and snuck into the infected areas to assist the ill and dying while the back alley healers either took advantage of the situation to increase their prices for treatment, or joined the independent healers.

Astella fell in between the two groups and was constantly brewing potions and administering antidotes to those who could be saved.

She tried to check in on Alouysia as often as she could during this time, but between healing the sick and dealing with the Syndicate, she didn't have time to meet her sister as much as she used to.

Alouysia was right about her, in the end.

Astella did not like the feeling of powerlessness, and in the end, she had turned to the source of power she knew would give her strength.

Her grandfather had reconnected with her after hearing of Elliot's birth and offered her a position in the Iron Lotus—a worthless branch of the Syndicate that was only made recently and filled with rejects and incompetent goons.

Leed and Edel were the first to align themselves with her the moment they heard she was being given leadership in the branch.

Slowly but surely, she was chipping away at the chains around her.

Soon, the Iron Lotus would be hers and hers alone, and once that happened, her grandfather would have no control over her any longer.

Just as she was finalizing plans to kick out a high member of the Iron Lotus—her grandfather's planted spy—she received an urgent message from Alouysia.

Astella didn't bother hearing it.

Seeing the state of the messenger, who held no letter but was panting from running the distance between the Eastern Slums and the Red Light District, she knew Alouysia needed her right this instant.

"Look after my son," she said, before grabbing her healer bag and running out the door.

When she arrived at the Lotus Garden, it was quiet.

"Enough, Alouysia! The boy shall die in the streets for all I care! He does not belong to the Garden!"

"Please, Madam, he will heal. Just give him a week. He will leave once he is feeling better."

"My words are final, Alouysia. Get the boy out of my sight at once!"

Astella hurried up the stairs to the second floor of the brothel and immediately saw red.

Alouysia was on her knees, pleading with an old woman.

The old woman wore a severe frown and heartlessly rebuked her.

It was then that Alouysia turned her head and saw Astella near the stairs.

"Stella!"

"I'm here, Alouysia."

"Stella, please!" There was desperation in her sister's voice as she tearfully begged.

"Please, you must save him! Please!"

Astella remained motionless for only a moment.

The only thing that could ever bring Alouysia down to this desperate state was none other than that son of hers.

"Show me the boy."

---

Astella blinked, and she suddenly found herself back in this room in the Odum Manor, drinking tea with a child she learned to hate.

"I have many things I want to say to you, but I don't know where to start," the boy said, and Astella felt a shot of pain in her chest.

The child should have lost the accent of the Lotus Garden long ago, masking his roots and refusing to acknowledge who his mother was.

Yet, why did he speak to her in such a way?

He was nothing but a poor imitation of Alouysia.

The obvious manipulation was at play, but Astella found her defenses crumbling the more she looked at the face of a ghost.

"Aunt Stella, I don't believe we have ever met. It is strange. I've known Elliot for a long time, but how could I not have made the connection?"

"You were a self-absorbed and greedy beast who believed the world owed you a debt," Astella snapped in an instant before she could stop herself.

Nazareth blinked, clearly taken off guard.

However, much to Astella's surprise, he didn't react with anger at her words.

Instead, he looked away, as if ashamed, and replied, "You are right."

Astella felt stifled at the acquiescence, but did not take back her words.

"Why do you wish to continue this farce? I do not need you to appease me, or try to reason with me. You should have already known why I decided to target you."

"Tell me again," Alouysia's son said, looking at her with a calm—almost gentle—patience that reminded Astella so much of her sister. Astella swallowed.

"In another lifetime, you burned the world down with you. It was only natural that I stop your actions before you ever thought of them."

"Ah." Nazareth seemingly froze in place.

"Young Master?"

"Dear?"

"Is something wrong, nephew?"

Astella wondered if he was shocked by what she said.

"Rainier, can you escort Aunt Auria and Duchess Elysium outside? I think Aunt Astella and I require privacy for the rest of this conversation."

Neither Laurel nor Auria protested against the decision, but both of them wore perplexed looks on their faces.

Only the servant remained composed as he led them out of the room.

Left by themselves, Astella awkwardly stirred her tea.

"Dandelion syrup?" Nazareth offered.

She shook her head. "What are you playing at?"

"First, tell me the truth," he said. "Tell me what happened between you and Mummy, and why you left after she died. I barely remember you."

"I didn't like you. I always visited her in secret and she knew to keep you away from me."

"Yet, you still loved her."

"I did."

"Tell me," the boy repeated. "Tell me what happened back then. And then explain what you mean when you said I burned down the world."

A haunted look appeared on Nazareth's face, though it disappeared a second later, replaced with a mask of patience once more.

Astella pursed her lips.

Then, she sighed.

"You believe your mother died from the plague, but she didn't. Not really. It was you who was sick at the time. She exchanged her life for yours and I..."

She met her nephew's gaze.

"I was the one who helped her."

---

Step 54. When facing those tied to your past, approach with both resolve, courage, and pettiness. Not every confrontation is about victory—but the faster you can unearth the truth, the quicker you can make your aunt come to her senses.

---

The author has something to say:

Thank you, Eli and J.Lin for the most lovely fanarts!

Laertes is Tybalt's maternal uncle. He is survived by his twin, Ophelia, Tybalt's maternal aunt, and an unnamed (as of now) younger half-sister who is Tybalt's mother. Ophelia is mentioned in Chapter 22.

Leed and Edel are the parents of Ethel, Lethe, and Thele.

Could the majority of the backstory had been an extra? Yes. Did I shove it into this chapter anyway? Also yes. I regret nothing (I regret everything).

This chapter has been in the works for a year. All that build-up and foreshadowing has finally borne fruit to this beauty, and it got so long that there's a part two, hence the cliffy. This is the equivalent of a two-hour special to close out a season finale.

I absolutely ADORE Astella---and yes, I have read your comments and I am aware of how all of you feel about her. I am not trying to whitewash her via tragic backstory, but I think bad people can also have interesting backstories. They don't completely explain their actions, but they do add character.

For example: Nazareth.

Tragic childhood or not, he has killed people, poisoned his younger brother, and helped a group of terrorists gain access into his school for kids between the ages of 11-18...

Astella is Neo's parallel, his broken mirror reflection, and runs on spite, anger, and pettiness. She projects so much on Nazareth because Nazareth is every bit like her, and I adore it to my bones. I never meant to write her as anyone of significant importance at the beginning of this story's conception. She was originally meant to be a cannon-fodder-esque villainess, but one thing led to another and now she is this grotesque and bitter human being who wants and hates and lives and breathes.