Recruits Kimber, Alvarez, Han, and McCaster sat mostly slack jawed in the little conference room on the command deck of the UNSC Harbinger. The little alien doctor they had called 'Krill' was standing at the front of the room, and in general military fashion, he had a powerpoint holographically projected over the far wall.

On the projection currently was a diagram of a human body, the kind you would see in high school health textbook.

The little alien was pointing vigorously towards the diagram, "And here, right here this little opening that leads into the bladder is called the urethra, and if you STICK things in it, it gets grossly infected and causes horrible urinary tract infections." The group of recruits simple sat there in shock, "This, this is the anus, this muscle was designed to push things out not take things in. In fact, if you try, the negative pressure created by your adventure can pull things INSIDE your colon and up your large intestine. The procedure for getting that out might include surgery, but could just involve someone like me reaching up there to grab it out."

Mouths gaped in astonishment.

They couldn't be living through this, could they.

"This, this machine right here is the mechanism used to close the airlock doors. If the airlock doors get jammed, do NOT stick your hand inside to try and fish them out, because this may cause something called degloving.... If you don't know what that means, its when all the skin peels off your hand like a banana and-"

The door at the far end of the room hissed open, and they turned to see the commander, of course the man didn't just walk into the room like any normal person. He glided in on his 'heelies, hands clasped behind his back like he was standing at parade rest. It was such a strange sight, considering the man was wearing an officer's uniform and a captain's cap having ditched the sunglasses from earlier in favor of the eye patch, which did not, in fact, seem to be a joke, but was definitely part of his everyday wardrobe.

He came gliding to a halt next to them, "You made a powerpoint?" He asked in mild amusement.

"Of course I made a powerpoint."

"Hmm," The man shrugged, "Guess it makes sense."

"Can you let me finish."

The man grinned, "Afraid not. We are about to launch, and I have it on good authority these four have been invited to the bridge to see the spectacle."

The little doctor sighed, "So human by way of his exasperation that it was hard to tell he was even alien, "Alright go then, but when one of them ends up in my infirmary with some stupid injury, I am going to blame you."

"You blame me anyway."

"That's because I am convinced you are the amalgamation of human stupidity and recklessness." The recruits looked nervously back and forth between the two. Its not everyday you watched an officer get insulted to his face, but the man just smiled and laughed blowing the entire thing off.

"Well I've never gotten anything stuck in my colon, so I guess I'm not a good representative, anyway." He pointed to the four of them, "Come on. I think you'll want to see this."

Nervously the group of them stood and followed the Commander through the open doors walking along behind his gliding form.

He had.... Not been what they expected. They had seen the movie trailers, heard about his exploits, watched flight demonstration videos, in certain cases, and even received lectures about intergalactic relations based on transcripts from his conversations, and or interactions. He was a legend at the academy, at the forefront of human/alien relations. All the books were written based on what he had done or what people in his crew had done. He had been the first man to SEE sentient nonhuman life.

And there he was, wearing an eyepatch and heeleing down the hall like a botched middle school costume party. Not to mention, when they had heard of him, they had immediately assumed it would be someone older and more experienced, someone graying at the temples who had seen more life than he knew what to do with, but this.... This guy wasn't much older than them. Young enough to be their older brother, or their older brother's weird ass friend.

Then there was that smile, like he didn't have a serious bone in his body, and they were expected to follow this guy?

How could they take him seriously?

"Um... Sir, I don't mean to sound.... accusatory , but." He glanced over his shoulder back at them, green eye sparking with some unknown emotion.

Recruit Kimber pointed down at his shoes, "Um, are those regulation.... With the uniform or..."

He grinned again and turned away, "Uniform regulation Gama on the proper maintenance of footwear when wearing uniform. Footwear must be classified as a dress shoe and come in Mat black or grey, no laces." he pointed downwards at his feet, "These are slip ons, and in the online description they were described as a 'dress shoe" maybe it was on a technicality but I took a screenshot just in case anyone asks."

They stared at him.

"Um.... sir.... I hate to sound like an....ur well.... But you arent exactly..."

"What you expected?" The man finished, coming to a stop and turning to face them.

"Well." Alvarez rubbed the back of his head, "Yeah, I mean you.... Well weve read about you in military science and tactics, and we sort of just assumed that you'd be more ..."

The conversation died away as the young recruits shifted awkwardly.

He smirked, "you thought id be some old stuffy officer with years of military experience. Some regulation stickler with a metal rod shoved up my ass, yes sir, no sir, you say jump, I say how high, that kind of person?"

They shuffled their feet awkwardly, but didn't answer.

The man didn't break his expression, "Well this is the reality. When I was a kid I used to set up my telescope out on the lawn, hoping I would see a UFO I trained for over five years in aviation to get my ass on board the Enterprise, because I wanted nothing more than to go to space.. My first trip to space was in an F-90 darkfire, and I nearly died. I was on the forerunner team that stepped foot on Proxima b and then when we receive incoming radio signals from an unknown source,I accompanied them as well. There I was the first person to see extraterrestrial life, not only that but I helped to establish linguistic contact between the two races. When the Drev war happened, I was deployed when I never should have been, lost my leg become a part of operation steel eye fought through withdrawals and PTSD before crawling back to the UNSC only to learn that the GA Knew me and trusted me enough to want me as the human representative to the rest of the galaxy." He paused for a second looking them over, "All of that, was just one big accident. I was in the right place at the right time, and aside from training as hard as I did to be a good pilot, I have stumbled and crashed my way to success by the grace of my own luck."

The group remained silent.

He looked at them with a critical eye, "Do you want to know what I learned through all of that?"

They remained silent but nodded nervously.

He took a breath, "I learned first and foremost to never stop loving what you do, With the army it is easy to take all the rules and regulations, and hate all the political loopholes you have to jump through. It's easy to make a routine to grow bored. But boredom leads to burnout, and every day I wake up on MY ship living my childhood dream and determine I have no right to feel that way, so if that means wearing heelis on the command deck, Playing songs older than dirt on the bridge, and making myself look like a fool, than I'll do it, just as long as I remember to contain it when it most matters."

He turned away and began gliding down the hall again, "Ever wonder why my ship, despite being the most dangerous, is the most sought after in the fleet... It's because Morale. I make sure to keep my people entertained and happy. Morale has the happy side effect of making people work harder, they try more, and they are more loyal. Everything I do, I do for the crew, and for myself."

He came to a halt at the bottom of the steps and led them upwards onto the bridge.

The small blue Drev, Sunny, was waiting for them, "Rousing lecture, I almost peed myself a little."

He snorted and shoved her aside with a shoulder, "You know you love me."

The drev lifted her head slightly, "Do I?"

"Yes, you do."

The recruits followed nervously after him glancing towards the Drev female and her bright gold eyes. She snapped her beak at them and they stepped back nervously. She made some sort of humming sound deep in her chest. The the base of her throat they watched as two large holes opened and closed in time with her breathing.

Creepy.

"Begin preflight sequence." The commander had taken a seat in the captain's chair, and as he was sitting there giving orders and taking command of the ship, you could almost forget that he was wearing an eyepatch and a pair of heelies.

By order form one of the bridge men, they strapped themselves into their seats as the countdown sequence began, "Crew of the harbinger this is your Commander speaking. Please follow all takeoff protocols for we are beginning preflight at this time. Please make sure to strap down all objects that would be lethal flying towards you head, and keep your hands and and feet inside the vehicle for the duration of the ride, thank you for flying with the UNSC."

He flipped some controls on the chair as the countdown began, and it wasn't moments before they were being lifted into the sky. Everyone braced themselves against their seats clutching the harnesses as they were thrust upwards into the sky, hands clasped onto harasses, and then they were airborne.

Despite the sudden and violent takeoff, the ride was relatively smooth, and they watched out the windows as earth receded behind them.

It was an amazing sight, more than any of them had ever before imagined, "Charge warp drive!" The commander ordered."

"Charging warp drive, engage on your command, sir."

"Diagnostic report on the coolant system?"

"100% operations functional, sir!"

"Engage warp drive in three ...two.... One."

And then they were gone, off into the vastness of space at the forefront of space exploration.

At the forefront of danger.

***

The forefront of danger was not what they had been expecting, they certainly had not expected the aggressive prank war that occured on April first, a prank war that covered McCaster in Green paint, and resulted in Han having lost all of his left shoes.

They didn't expect the mess hall to burst into a sing along when the commander began playing outdated rock music, they hadn't expected to get cleaned out in a game of poker by an alien nearly twice their size, or chased out of the shower by a very grumpy looking spider hybrid.

All through this, the commander appeared and disappeared at random wheeling past or riding on the back of the electric blue Drev, only to prance down the hall out of sight leaving a trail of.... Something dumb, bubbles or confett, behind him.

How he managed to requisition any of the things he got his hands on was a mystery to them.

And though this was the strangest experience they had ever had, he hadn't been wrong about burnout, boredom, or monotony. They never knew what was coming next, and there was always something interesting going on.

If you walked in on the commander, one moment he was trying to teach the spiderlings how to shake, and the next moment he was on a conference call with the president of the UN brass of the UNSC and the galactic Assembly giving tactical advice with the same mouth that had earlier proclaimed the hypothesis that , why don't we just do all our laundry in space seeing as the inhospitable vacuum would kill all the bacteria, not entirely sure if he was joking or not.

During meal times he spent a good portion of it rotating around the tables and eating with a new group every day. Generally his big blue friend, Sunny came with him, and more often than not, the doctor as well. Seemed odd how close he was with them, but no one would give a straight answer when questions came up about the nature of the relationship.

It was on just such a day when the commander made his way over to their table and took a seat followed by the blue Drev who was carrying a large salad in a mixing bowl.

The drev could really put down food, but that made sense.

"Morning gentlemen."

"Morning, sir."

He tilted his head, "Don't look so thrilled, you might have an accident with all that enthusiasm."

Alvarez clutched his mug, "Sorry not a morning person." He muttered

"And you commander."

"Any time is a good time to be alive."

"And there is the optimist." Han muttered with a sigh rubbing groggily at his eyes before pausing "What are you wearing?"

The commander grinned leaning back to show off his shirt, "Star Wars T, its vintage, do you like?.... Don't give me that look, it's casual friday."

They just shook their heads in slight amusement as he leaned an elbow on the table, "I was meaning to ask you guys something."

They nodded, and he was about to open his mouth to speak when, alarms started going off all around the ship.

Suddenly, the geek was gone and the commander stood in his place demeanor no more marred by his clothing than a speck of dust in a beam of sunlight.

"EVERYONE TO YOUR STATIONS, NOW!"

"What's going on!"

He tilted his head to the side listening, probably to a report over his implants.

"The GA is under attack. "