Krill stared out at the rising star slumped downwards body hunched inwards upon itself. The sunrise wasn't like it was on earth, nothing was, and despite the horror, there were a lot of things he missed, a lot of things he missed about the humans.

After spending so much time with them, he hadn't realized how much he had become like them, but after leaving and returning to his home planet after.... After the "Incident." He was beginning to realize just how much the death-worlders had affected him.

They called him, strange, and RECKLESS, his old friends commented on how much he had "Changed". He was darker, his humor was disturbing, his medical practices were reckless and leaning towards barbaric, despite his 100% success rate. They said he couldn't stay still anymore, he couldn't focus, he asked too many questions, he couldn't appreciate the simple things, he was callous and cold. They said he didn't even MOVE normally anymore communicating through his bodies in way that others couldn't understand.

They said it was unusually predatory the way he did things.

Krill didn't feel any of these things, and never had. When he was on the human ship, he had been a coward, soft spoken, the voice of reason, and now.... He suddenly found himself avoided and feared because of his humanlike behavior. He tried to stop, honesty tried to go back to the way things had been before, but he just, couldn't. He had seen another way of living, and he couldn't give it up. He felt like he had so much to give, but there was no convincing his race to take it.

He cared more than he had ever cared about anyone ever. It felt like he had been feeling through a haze of fog accepting the neutral that was his existence, and once with the humans, he had ridden the highs and the lows with them. He had experienced abject terror, and pure joy, and he didn't know how he could forget that.

He turned his face from the rising star trying to fight back the feelings of shame, guilt, and fear.... The feelings that still chased him even as he fled.

He wondered where the humans were now, a Million, a trillion lightyears from here coasting through the galaxy in their death-trap of a ship singing songs and playing games.... Or were they still mourning.

Had they even noticed his absence? Perhaps, but, if they did, then clearly they were pleased he was gone, after his failure.... They had made that very clear.

The humans said that weeping was like a welling sensation in the face and eyes, a shaking of the body the bent the shoulders and weighed heavy on the soul. He didn't have tear ducts, and so couldn't cry like they did, but he could feel the desire..... The desire to sob and wail like they did, to release the excess emotion that rolled inside his chest like the fluttering sensation of wings.....

No one on his planet understood the sensation, but he did. It was a very human sensation.

The star broke over the horizon turning the sky a soft yellow, or a burnt orange... he missed the blue of the human sky. Somehow everything here felt dead, the greatest breeze would only so much as ruffle in the air, and on those days it was advised to stay inside with worries of floating away. Maybe that was why they feared him, as he stood outside to feel the breeze, to pretend things hadn't changed, but he couldn't convince himself. On earth, that breeze would have come with a gust powerful enough to push him backwards and send colorful streaming ribbons into the sky.

Only humans could have devised a way to play with the wind, to play with something they couldn't see.

With a sigh (another distinctly human gesture, or so he was told), he walked to the edge of the roof and used this four arms to grip a support pole and slide down. Once upon a time he would have considered such thing reckless, but it was only seven feet, he had done worse things with the humans. To the side a group of passing Vrul (his species) passed by staring at him with fear in their faces.... They stepped back.

He tried to greet them with a friendly wave of a hand, but they scampered off before he remembered that waving was another human thing.....

He wilted trudging along the street as the crowd parted before him. It would probably look better if he inflated and just floated his way to work, but, it was a slow way to get anywhere.... You couldn't keep up with a human by floating.... But then again he didn't have humans anymore.

He paused at the side of the bridge staring down into the open water.... This was the place.... The place where his humans had miraculously saved a member of his own species. He remembered that day, still at awe at their reckless helpfulness.

Captain Vir.... No.... he shouldn't think about him, but it was too late.

A memory, still fresh and sore rose up in his mind. Blood coated the floor, a human lay dying convulsing as Krill tried to keep her alive. The humans ran about behind him screaming instructions and encouragement to the human, fighting against her own welling blood.

Maybe krill hadn't done enough. Maybe he had just assumed the natural resilience of the human would keep her alive, would keep her intact. He had never seen a human die, so maybe he supposed they were actually indestructible, immortal. But she was slipping away, he hadn't believed it as his friend tried pumping her heart for her. His hands locked together as he begged her to stay alive. Krill did his best to stop the bleeding to sew together what had been damaged, but there was just too much.

Even her human body couldn't fight off the inevitable.

He felt her last breath as it whispered from her lips.

Did he feel her soul pass, he didn't know.

The captain tried for long after that to bring on a miracle, but eventually he stopped. Though his head was down, Krill could see the crystal diamonds falling from the human's eyes and onto her still corpse. Everything was so slow, so still, he didn't believe it, he couldn't.

And then, it happened, the man turned his head upwards, and his eye was such a welling of grief that Krill couldn't have comprehended it, grief that was replaced suddenly by absolute rage..... directed at him.

He was going to die.

"You..." The human growled, "This is your fault..... YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO SAVE HER."

For a horrible moment Krill thought the man was going to kill him, but as he moved, the other humans placed hands on his shoulders hauling him away from the body.

Krill ran.... Ran with those words echoing in his head guilt and fear welling up within him even as he did. He hopped the first cruiser back home knowing that the humans would prefer if he took charge himself. He couldn't look at them after what he had done.

He came to looking at the water body shaking uncontrollably as he did. The soft keening noise that came from his mouth was in a surprisingly human pitch, it wasn't a sound he was naturally supposed to make.

Eyes stared at him, a large circle made up the boundary of how close they would come.

He ducked his head and hurried from that spot fighting back the thoughts.

He was almost to work when.

"Look, whatever your name is, I'm looking for my friend and I'm not leaving until I find him."

Krill froze body edging towards sheer panic.

"I am sorry, I do not know where he is." The answer came

"Come on, or I swear I will level the city block with my bare hands." A chirp of fear followed that declaration. Krill pressed himself back against the wall.... They were here.... Why were they here? Had they come to finish the job, was this some kind of human death retaliation that they had to perform.... If that was the case, he couldn't just let the city suffer because of him.

So, with one last breath, he rounded the corner. The human stood well over three feet taller than the Vrul, and appeared even bigger as he cowered back against the hospital doors. Krill was surprised to see the human wearing a formal light grey uniform, captain's cap clutched in one hand.

That's how he must have gotten on-planet.

His voice was stronger than he thought it would be, "Captain? You're looking for me."

The human spun on his heel green eye widening in surprise. He saw the human's body bunch in preparation to pounce, he held very still preparing for his death.

And was surprised when he was enfolded in a crushing hug. The human had fallen to his knees in the middle of the street enfolding Krill in his arms doing his very best, seemingly, NOT to snap Krill in half, when he pulled away, the look on his face was one of pure shame, "Krill.... I.... I'm so.... I'm so sorry." His voice cracked a little and light welled at the corners of his vision, "I didn't mean those things that I said, I.... I was just, so upset, and I wasn't thinking straight, and I'm an idiot, and there is no excuse for what I did."

Were his hand's shaking.

"I went looking for you later, but you were already gone..... I, and it's my fault. Everything is." He took a deep breath trying to control the welling of apologies, "I had to find you, I wasn't sure where you would go, we've been at it for months.... I, Krill I don't know how I can ever explain how sorry I am for what I did."

There was a long moment of silence as Krill tried to comprehend what was going on, the humans head dropped lower every moment. He cleared his throat, "I understand, if you can't forgive me.... For what I did. I don't now if I could forgive me either."

"You've been tracking me.... For months?"

He paused, "Well, yes."

"How did you find me?"

The human dropped his head a bit lower, "We may have gone back to the old emergency center you worked at and forced the staff to tell us where you lived." He held up his hands, "Don't worry, we didn't hurt anyone or-or anything."

"So, you tracked me across half the galaxy, threatened people, and broke who knows how many laws to find me."

The human wilted even further dropping his head and sighing deeply, "Yes, I guess I did, it sounds insane doesn't it..... God I'm.... an idiot."

"Why?"

The human looked up at him then and a flash of reproachfulness crossed his gaze, "Why? Krill, you're part of my crew, part of my own family, and more than likely my best friend. If I didn't do those things to grovel and beg your forgiveness, well then I really never deserved your friendship, did I. And if I had to go across the entire universe to do it, I would. Even if you tell me to get out..... and never bother you again, I'd still do it because I owe you my life, and more importantly than that, I care about you and I wanted to tell you that it wasn't your fault."

"But."

"I know what I said, Krill, and I will regret that till my bones crumble to ash, but it wasn't your fault, it was an accident... and she.... She just couldn't shake it. There was nothing you could have done, no more that you could have done. So..... I want to offer you your position back because the ship just isn't the same without you."

The pause that followed was terrible. He could see the humans hope fading.

"I don't think...." Absolute disappointment crossed the human's face, "that I could say no."

"I underst- wait." He looked up, paused, "You asshole."

Krill felt a small thrill run up through his body.

"You absolute back of dicks, that was downright human of you."

He stood and Krill took place at his side as they walked down the street, "You kind of deserved it."

A shameful grin, "Yeah, I did."

"Do I get a raise?"

"Wanna be captain of the ship."

"No, not even a little,"

"Than no."