Chapter 16: We're on the Titanic, my dear. You know how this ends, right?

A boy pulled down his hood to reveal brown hair as he sat on a stool with his guitar. A magical device was used to amplify his voice, so with just one word of his, I knew who he was.

Because there existed no one else in the book that could bring this reaction out of the people.

The boy with the voice that could charm even the most stoic of hearts. The male lead that would in the future make this empire fall in love with him.

That boy was Iveren Valdia.

And here he was in front of me on a stage with a guitar as he hid his light blue teal coloured hair under a wig.

The band behind him began to play their instruments and with a small smile, Iveren started strumming his guitar. His voice filled the area and people could only stare as what could only sound like the voice of an angel reached their ears and hearts.

...To think a day would come when I'd experience Iveren's power first-hand.

Iveren was one of the male leads of the book, who met heroine once she started school and he fell in love with her when she helped him overcome his situation and encouraged him to follow his dream of being a musician. He relied on her... because he was being abused.

His father, a count, believed he was a disgrace for being so obsessed with music instead of acting like a proper noble son, and so he was always belittled and treated harshly at home; always having insults hurled cruelly at him. It was heroine's kindness that saved him and her comfort that helped him achieve his dream.

My eyes were glued onto the boy on the stage. Even with his hair in a different colour, his beauty remained untouched. He looked like a living work of art; he had pale skin from staying indoors with his musical instruments all the time but right now his cheeks had a faint blush from the high he was feeling from being on the stage, doing what he loved best.

...This is when he feels most alive. When he's singing his heart out, surrounded by music.

I was too far to see his bright turquoise blue eyes, but I knew that they were probably sparkling.

His voice is insane but his looks are unreal too... he looks like a fairy prince that came out to play amongst humans.

His voice continued to dance with the music and in that instant, I was taken.

In this time, I knew the most about him, and yet, I knew nothing at all. It was such a strange feeling. Right now, I even had knowledge about him that he himself had yet to learn; but I didn't know the boy, and he didn't know me. It was a feeling of nostalgia and loneliness.

After all, Iveren was a boy I had come to love with my heart.

Emotions, feelings and flashbacks from my past life returned, of the moments I was reading the novel. My toes curled with excitement and happiness whenever he made an appearance in the book. I used to feel butterflies in my stomach, and my lips would automatically smile- as they were doing right now.

Reading him, I had come to learn the meaning of 'sweet love.'

He always made me feel so warm, it was hard not to love him; his was a story that made me yearn for that type of love.

I brought my fingers to my lips subconsciously at this sudden surge of emotions.

"You like guys like him?"

I was pulled out of my daze by Rezel's curious voice. My eyes snapped to him in surprise.

...How is he so casual? Everyone is captivated by Iveren right now.

He was looking into my eyes and he pointed to the stage with his chin.

"Is this love at first sight? You look weird."

...It's not just me! You're the weird one for not being affected by his voice!

Well, knowing how twisted he is, I probably shouldn't be too surprised; but no, wait, it actually still doesn't make sense because Iveren's voice was beautiful enough to enchant anyone!

Rezel tilted his head, waiting for my reply and I decided to answer him first and think about his oddness later.

"A fan," I said, scratching my cheek with an awkward smile.

"A fan? What's the difference? Doesn't this still mean it's love at first sight? Do you want to be with him?"

At this, for some reason a bitter feeling filled my chest and a scoff left my lips.

I hadn't forgotten the fact that I was the villainess in this world; the fact that I was hated by everyone and everything wasn't a secret. But other than that...

Just the thought of standing next to someone as pure and lovely as Iveren...

...makes my heart ache.

After all, I had finally realized why I was reincarnated as a villainess.

Because it was the only character fitting for me.

Every time...

I kept looking for myself in the world.

In books, movies, stories.

But everyone I met was always just a bit more.

A bit too kind.

A bit too pretty.

A bit too brave.

...A bit too clean.

Always a bit too much more than me who was selfish, plain and a coward.

And so dirty.

They were always a bit too great.

It made me think...

'The way I am...

...is not enough.'

I would never be like the people in these books.

But then, that's only expected, isn't it?

That's okay.

Because what I am, is a bit too real.

And now that this real me was put into a book, how could I be anyone except the most flawed character?

The villain.

It makes sense.

So that's why, even just the thought of me with any of these male leads makes me let out a bitter laugh.

"Be with him? There's no chance, my dear!" I waved my hand dismissively with a grin, as if Rezel had said a really funny joke. It made him frown as he tilted his head.

"Why can't you be with him?"

"You ask so many questions." What do I tell you? How do I explain? "...Should I tell you a secret?" I pursed my lips and beckoned him closer after taking another sip from my bottle. He did the same and leaned towards me.

"That guy on stage? He's a hero. He's going to be loved by eeeveryone." I drawled out as I gestured all around me at the mesmerized people to help make my point. Then I pointed to myself. "And me? You already know who I am, right?" I brought a grin to my face, similar to the one Rezel always does.

"I'm the villain, my dear."

I let out another laugh and took another sip of my drink. Rezel pulled back to look at me. I continued with a smirk.

"You know, right? Whether its the great Cassian, or this amazing boy... how could a hero ever be with a villain?"

Maybe it was the excitable atmosphere of the party, or the sweet voice of Iveren that sang lovingly into my heart; maybe it was the happiness and kindness I felt around me that made me blurt out such bitter lines as I thought about myself. How could I even think of ending up with a male lead when the pure saintess heroine is set to appear and break all their chains with her kindness and pure heart? They shall all fall for her, who would be too beautiful to even look away from.

The child so full of love who will light up everyone's worlds with her pureness.

The complete opposite of me.

But who cares? I just need to survive this shitty novel.

Rezel had pursed his lips and looked away, as if thinking of something, and then he turned back to me with a question.

"Then what about you?"

I blinked at him, not understanding. "What about me?"

"Who do you end up with?"

At this unexpected question, I felt a smile pulling at my lips. You know... someone who wouldn't just not judge my flaws, but even accept them. Someone who is as flawed as me because...

The heroes are too perfect for me anyway.

I tilted my head.

"A villain would be suitable for me, don't you think?"

Right then, Iveren's song ended and our gaze was back on the stage, watching him take his leave. He seemed to be in a hurry and the seat was soon replaced by another singer, who sang a more pumped up song. It hyped the people who were getting out of their daze and soon, the tables and chairs were moved to the sides to make room for everyone to dance.

I was watching them with a grin when a hand appeared in front of my vision. I followed it to Rezel's face. He looked at me with a mischievous grin after finishing a bottle.

"Won't you show me how they danced in Titanic?"

I blinked at the boy, as I felt my heartbeat rise. I felt my blood pumping with the excitement and the buzz from the alcohol and with a grin, I grabbed onto his hand. He pulled me up and then I pulled him to where the people were dancing.

"We're gonna make a fool out of ourselves!" I told him and he laughed as I tried to do a tap dance. I was so glad I had drunk enough to do stupid things like this.

"You can't dance for shit!" The boy guffawed and I shrugged with a grin.

"Oh, as if you can do this?" I tried a more exaggerated move and he shook his head at me. I laughed and grabbed both his hands and turned us around. I had to stop soon enough cause I felt sick, and my groans just made him happier cause he loved to tease me.

After letting me rest for barely a minute, he handed me a bottle to quench my thirst, which I gulped a sip of and stuck my tongue out in disgust. He just grinned at me and pulled me back to the dance floor and intertwined our arms together, just like I'd showed him how Jack and Rose had done. After so long, I felt so alive as I jumped around without a care. The music reverberated around us, along with laughter and mirth. I could feel each thump in my heart. It truly felt like such a fun party with people who just wanted to enjoy the moment.

I don't know for how long we danced together at night with the people around us.

But as with all highs, the low soon follows.

As the hype of the party died down due to us tired souls retiring to our tables to rest, the music became softer. I sat down with Rezel back on our table. The alcohol we drank had finally hit us, but we continued to sip as we sat with our thoughts. Soon enough, mine began to slip out.

"Hey... tell me something." I spoke and Rezel's brown eyes look at me.

"What is it?"

"Do you... ever wonder about who needs more prayers?" I took another sip of who knows which number of my bottle. "Who is in need of more prayers, the righteous... or the sinners?"

Rezel clicked his tongue. "You're talking nonsense again. It's obviously good people who deserve prayers."

"Yes," I hiccupped. "Yes... good people deserve prayers." I nodded in agreement and then pursed my lips.

"But if we prayed for the devil to see the light, would we stop having to deal with his whispers?"

At my question, Rezel stared at me in silence.

"Hey... aren't the bad people the ones who really need prayers?"

At seeing Rezel being so quiet, an inappropriate laugh left my lips and I decided to comfort him.

"Hey, don't worry. Even this thought comes from my selfishness, you know?"

Because anyone would say that a worthless person who doesn't put any effort into their life deserves no reward when compared to someone who works hard.

Even so, the worthless person wishes not to be abandoned. How greedy, right?

"If I'm a bad person... even if I'm a bad person... I wish I'd have someone who wouldn't abandon me. Hmm? Is someone there?" I looked around me with a searching gaze but I only saw other drunk people, and a few couples dancing to the slow music. "Anyone?"

I looked at the bottle in my hand. "Hey, you..." Then I looked up at the blonde-haired boy who was tightly gripping his own bottle.

"Accept me as I am..." I mumbled, resting my head on my table. "I'm tired, now... Can't you accept me as I am...?"

The last thing I saw as I whined like a useless person, was Rezel opening yet another bottle and drinking it by himself.

When I opened my eyes again, I was in an alley. Or perhaps it would be more appropriate to say that when I was sober enough to understand my situation, I was sitting in an alley, leaning against the wall with my head resting on Rezel's shoulder, who was also asleep while sitting beside me.

...Did we just... get drunk and fall asleep outside?

I blinked as the realization and the horror set in and frantically shook Rezel's shoulder.

"Hey! We're sleeping in an alley! Hey, wake up!"

Rezel groaned and rubbed his eyes, turning and now leaning his head on my shoulder. "Don't worry... I put an invisibility shield around us..."

Is that the point?!

"We should sleep at home!" I hissed and pushed him off. He clicked his tongue and then snapped his fingers, his eyes still closed. When I blinked, him and I were on the floor of my bedroom, and the building wall we were leaning on was replaced by the side of my bed. Rezel continued to sleep while sitting and I bit my lip.

I'm home and I can clean up and get to bed but what about Rezel? I don't know where he lives and as the older one amongst us, I felt responsible for the condition he was in. I shouldn't have gotten drunk to the point of losing consciousness like that... Pfft, I really can't believe we ended up in an alley like that. That's wild.

"Hey," I murmured softly and with a voice full of uncertainty asked him, "Do... you wanna sleep on the bed?"

At this, he managed to pick himself up and was about to crawl into my bed when I stopped him in a panic. "No, no! You have to clean up first! You'll get my bed all dirty like this!"

"Tch." His eyes still barely open, he snapped his fingers again and I felt a warmth envelope my body. When I looked down, the dirt from my clothes had vanished and I could smell the scent of roses from my body. I gasped.

What a fucking convenient magic!

Whatever that stone was, I want it! But before I could say anything about it, Rezel pulled back my blanket and crawled into my bed. I stood by awkwardly, full of regrets. I still wasn't thinking right; I should have suggested the sofa or something. Rezel wasn't a complete stranger anymore, but it still felt extremely weird to have him in my room, and now in my bed. And just why does he look so comfortable? ...It's kinda cute. What a peaceful face.

Much better than that twisted grin he has all the time.

I gave a defeated sigh and was about to turn around to head to the couch when all of a sudden, I saw Rezel sit up like a robot, making me jump in surprise. Then he snapped his fingers and just like that, vanished into the air. I let out the sigh I was holding and shook my head as I got into my bed.

That boy really does have a problem with saying goodbye.