Chapter 22: Two Kids. Too young and dumb.

"Lady Eleonora."

The voice calling out to me snapped me out of the memories that were pulling me away. I turned towards the two people standing by the door of my study room.

I bit my lip and tried to clear thoughts about Yellow and looked at the new lady accompanied by the steward of my house.

"Lady Eleonora, Madame Avea Wystan has arrived."

I glanced at the communication papers that were on my desk.

"I need help."

I'd asked Cassian to send me a butler or aide who could help me and take care of the estate. In just an hour, Avea Wystan was here with her luggage.

"She's the granddaughter of the Duke's Head Butler. She's been approved of by my father himself."

She was a young woman with striking red hair that almost just reached her waist; they were the colour of blood, similar to that of her father. Her father was actually mentioned in the book as an important aide of the Arcturus family, who also helps the heroine later on. Her brown eyes were clear as she gave a slight bow and looked at me with an expressionless face.

I didn't know Tideus had a daughter, I thought wryly as I gave her a nod. "Welcome to this estate."

After this cursed day had ended, I laid in bed and let the memories take me away.

"What is that song you keep singing?"

"Hmm? Ah, am I disturbing you?" I turned to look at Yellow as we sat by the window again. It was a bright rainy day, so I was feeling the breeze and staring out at the light showers.

"No. It seems important to you."

"I guess it is... I can relate to the lyrics."

"What is it about?"

"Well," I leaned back in my chair and played with the fabric of my skirt as I recalled the moments of me listening to it. "It's about being too young and dumb to know how to treasure a person. About getting carried away with ego, and loving clumsily, in a way that hurts, leaving you to just regret."

"...Yeah, it seems fitting for you."

I glared at them and huffed. "But it's also about understanding those mistakes. And not turning the love of the past into marks of hatred. I used to listen to this song a lot in my past life."

"You've had a past life, too?" Yellow asked in a curious voice, surprising me. I'd just spilt out the truth about my past life, because I didn't see why not, but what's this?

"What? You, too?"

"When plants die, those of us with souls like mine are reincarnated differently. If I die, we might meet again, but I might not be carnations anymore, and you might not recognize me, but I will know you."

I tilted my head at this new information. I hadn't read of this in the book. It seems the more time I spend in this world, the more I realize how real and detailed it really is. There's so much I don't know yet.

"That won't do." I said, placing my cheek on my palm as I caressed the soft yellow petals. "We need a codeword then."

"A codeword?"

"Yeah. So that I'll be able to find you."

"Look at you," the carnations replied in a teasing voice. "Are you already preparing for me to go?"

"Oh, shut up, you..." I rolled my eyes with a smile. "It's precisely so that I don't ever have to let you go. Why do you always make me out like this, seriously..."

The sweet laughter of my precious carnations filled the air, and flowed into my heart. I could only look at them with an adoring smile. And I'm sure, that if they could have an expression, they'd be smiling lovingly at me too.

"What is the song you keep singing?" Yellow asked me again.

I tilted my head and looked out the window with a nostalgic and slightly bitter smile. Nostalgia always seems bittersweet. It's you remembering good memories but you also know that they'll always remain in the past. You can feel it, but not touch it. They remain frozen in time as you continue to grow older, remembering these memories on cold days so that you can feel their warmth again. The leaves on the trees were dancing in the breeze that also flowed gently into the room, blowing softly at my hair, that was longer now. Then I looked back at Yellow again with that sweet smile.

"Two Kids."

"Two Kids? Two young and dumb kids, is it?"

"Yes, two young and dumb kids who only knew how to love each other clumsily. They have regrets, but they still look at their past preciously."

"That certainly relates to you, but I am most definitely not young or dumb?"

"No, but you definitely have that ego they were singing about?" I leaned closer towards them, finding my happiness in this cute and teasing conversation.

"Hearing that from you, I might just pretend not to know you even if I reincarnate."

"Oh, don't do that," I giggled with a huff, and placed my forehead against the flowers, and closed my eyes.

"You're warm." The flowers told me.

"...It's the warmth you've given me."

I heard them sigh after a silence. My eyes were still closed. I could imagine the song playing in my mind. I could remember bits of my life, as if the song was a soundtrack. I felt tingling in my heart. Then the flowers spoke.

"Two Kids. I like this song, too."

I leaned back, opening my eyes to look at them, and tilted my head. "You haven't actually heard it, though?"

"It's precious to you." There was silence at which I stared at the flowers that had said something uncharacteristically sweet for once. But then they continued. "Which means that no matter how silly your brain is, you won't forget it. Which means if I call out to you, you'll definitely know where I am. And then you shall find me."

"You... seriously, what do you think of me?" I could only give a sigh before soon enough, we began to laugh softly together.

Two kids...

Yeah... we're just two kids.

"It's too quiet in this room now, Yellow."

I bit my lip, refusing to let the tears fall. I showed such an angry persona earlier, crying now is just embarrassing and so pathetic.

"...I really don't like this room, after all."

I got out of bed and took out my cloak from the closet. It would make more sense to change into outerwear, but I didn't want to. I didn't want to do anything at all.

I walked towards my hideout with no expression on my face. It was so late; everyone had gone to sleep. The sky was dressed with sparkling stars and a bright moon; it was pretty and gave out plenty of light. But I didn't want such a thing.

After the anger burned out, only the ashes of sorrow were left. It was a night where everything seemed pointless. And it was a night I felt so alone. I... really didn't want to be alone.

That's why seeing him was unexpected.

"Rezel..." My voice came out as a helpless whimper. I don't know why seeing him brought that reaction from me. Maybe it was because every time in the few moments before we'd greet; the moments he didn't know I was looking at him, he looked as broken as me, sitting alone here and smoking his pipe.

His eyes widened when he saw me and he stood there frozen, not walking towards me. So I stumbled towards him, my vision already blurry.

As I got closer, he reached out naturally and wrapped me into his arms. Accepting me. For some reason I knew he would. Because sometimes, we felt really similar. I closed my eyes and placed my face against his shoulder. His hand gently stroked the back of my head and it just made everything worse.

"It's alright... Don't worry now..."

Don't worry now.

The comfort these simple words can provide is immense... in the sense that although the world felt like it was crashing down on me, it now meant that someone else would share that burden with me. It meant that I wasn't alone.

'Don't worry now.'

Yes... I really like these words.

"You've been strong... you did well, storyteller. Don't worry now. You did well."

His whispers reached into my broken heart and broke it further into pieces. It's what I've always wanted to hear... so much... so much, I've wanted to hear this. These are the words I fought with Yellow for. The pain in my chest and my throat made it harder for me to breathe.

"Don't... be kind now..." My voice was a whine muffled into his chest as I stained it wet. "Or I will cry..." But I already was.

His hand didn't stop. On this cold night, his palm on my head and my back felt so warm, that the tears just continued. It was a warmth I had craved for so long, all these days, stuck in this world alone.

"Humiliating..." I shut my eyes tighter, making more tears fall.

"...It's okay. It's not humiliating. The trees, the grass, the wind and the stars... if you want, I'll make sure that they'll keep your secret, so... just cry."

What uncharacteristically sweet words. I didn't know Rezel was capable of them, with how angry and twisted he seemed all the time. But he knows what to say to me so well... Perhaps it makes sense to comfort a fifteen-year-old girl with such sweet words.

As if his whispers were an order to my heart, the tears burst forth even harder and I bit my lips to hold back my sobs, but his arms were just so warm, and so... safe? Peaceful? I don't know. I don't know but I cried and cried and he patiently held me in his arms, stroking my head like comforting a little child.

He did it so well, I wondered if at some point in time, he had wanted someone to do it to him as well. To hold him and just stroke his head. Give him that warmth and comfort. Don't worry now... it's alright...

I was held like that for a while until I got sleepy.

"You should get back now, storyteller," He murmured to me as he leaned back. We were now kneeling on the grass, still holding onto each other.

"No... I'm not sleepy," I muttered stubbornly. I didn't want to go back and be alone in that room. At least just for tonight. "Let's go drink?"

Rezel sighed and shook his head. "I don't think you should, and it's too late."

"Then can you snap your fingers and get some alcohol? Let's go to my room." I was desperate.

"You're being reckless. What is it? Do you wish to not be alone?"

"...Yes."

"You shouldn't just invite- what? Why? Hey!"

His scolding was interrupted by a fresh wave of my tired tears. I didn't want to hear anymore of what I shouldn't be doing; if they were to be listed, I probably never did anything right anyway. It would just be a list of things I am doing wrong.

He gave a defeated sigh. "What a demanding fifteen-year-old you are." He shook his head at me and then said sternly. "But you must go to sleep once we get to your room."

I nodded my head, wiping at my tears with the back of my hand.

These warnings, I didn't want them. I just wanted a friend. Just to be with me tonight.

When we arrived into my room, Rezel asked me for blankets, which he laid out on the floor next to my bed. He promptly got into them and gave me a stern look. "Go right to sleep."

I got into bed and closed my eyes. Quite a few minutes passed. The night was quiet and I could hear our breathing. I twisted and got on my stomach, and looked at him.

Curly strands of blonde hair reflecting in the moonlight.

"Rezel," I whispered but there was no reply.

I reached out my fingers. "Hand."

"...You dare treat me like a dog?"

He grumbled but I felt his fingers reach out to my hand anyway. Soon, my hand was wrapped in his; his warmth flowing into me again, reaching my heart.

That night, these two kids slept knowing the warmth of holding someone's hand for the first time.

The next day, Lord Cassian teleported into the estate with a sense of urgency. It had only taken a little time for Altair Wystan to understand the situation of the estate and report it back to him. A steward greeted him at the entrance but Cassian was already rushing forth and making his way in.

"Where is she?" He asked, his voice strangely emotionless.

"Lady Eleonora is in the third drawing room of the ground floor, Lord Cassian."

Cassian walked through the corridors, noticing something was different about the atmosphere of the estate. The servants seemed wary and on edge as they bowed to him.

She must be suffering... Cassian thought with worry. She must be in pain.

But for some reason, the closer he go to the drawing room, the slower his footsteps were getting. He furrowed his brows. Why are there so many people?

He stood by the door of the drawing room, his eyes wide.

The room was full of people from various dressmakers and jewellers. Glamourous dresses lined up around the room, that was also full of boxes. Jewellers brought forth cases of exquisite gemstones and accessories towards the girl that sat comfortably on a couch in the middle of the room. A dressmaker held out a piece of fabric for her and she felt it between her fingers. A woman with striking red hair stood by her side, ready to serve her.

As expected... shopping therapy isn't too bad. I gestured to Avea and she leaned down.

"That maid for whom you had the room prepared for... please make sure this set reaches her." I pointed at a green jewellery set with my chin and she nodded.

"As you say, Lady Eleonora."

It wasn't that I was feeling bad about what I did yesterday; at least, not yet. This felt more like a give and take transaction. She killed my flowers, I pulled out her earring and now I gave her a room in the estate along with more jewels, including a dress. I had the money now, so I could easily afford it, but it still wasn't my apology. I simply didn't want to apologize. Not yet, anyway. Who knows if ever.

"Lord Cassian has arrived."

The steward finally caught up to Cassian and announced his presence to the crowd and everyone bowed. I looked up at him with surprise.

"Nora..." He walked into the room and I stopped him with a gesture of my hand, telling him to wait. I stood up and told the people in the room that I would be right back and made my way towards Cassian.

"My love, you've come to visit me?" I asked him with a sugary sweet smile; proud that I managed to hide how shocked I was that he'd suddenly appeared like the devil himself.

Cassian pursed his lips at me calling him that and we walked into another drawing room, now alone. Avea was right behind us and Cassian turned towards her. "Stay here." Avea made no protest and didn't even glance at me. I tch-ed mentally. Even if she's currently my aide, she's still an Arcturus servant, I guess.

Avea shut the door once Cassian and I entered the room, and now it was just the two of us in this large drawing room. I now realized that Cassian seemed different than usual. I furrowed my brows at him, deciding to tone down my act for the moment.

"What is it? Is everything okay?" I asked him, who hadn't smiled at me even once since he'd arrived.

He was silent. He then looked around, as if thinking hard about something he couldn't understand.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He spoke in a quiet voice. It just confused me more. I tilted my head.

"Tell you what?"

His eyes looked into mine with an intense gaze. As if looking at someone who had wronged him. "Why didn't you tell me that you were being treated like this?"

"...What?" My lips parted. So he heard about yesterday. But... "What do you mean?" Why is he asking me this? "You didn't know?"

"If I knew, do you think it would have continued to happen?" His voice was raising slowly; his tone frustrated. I couldn't understand.

What does this mean? How could he not know? Why would Nora hide this from him? Why wouldn't she tell her only support what she was going through? That she was being abused?

My heart suddenly clenched and I bought my hand to my chest. A very... icky... disgusting, dirty feeling filled within me and I realized why.

Shame...?

Nora was... ashamed...? Ashamed of being abused...

Ah...

She was ashamed of letting Cassian know of her treatment. She wanted him to see her as a perfect lady, who wasn't as weak to be mistreated by her servants. So she hid the abuse... the abuse by her stepmother.

What the fuck.

I'm going to fucking strangle that woman.

"What else did they do?" He asked me, taking a step closer. "Show me your arms."

He reached out and his fingers wrapped around my wrist; he pulled it towards him and the fabric of my sleeves fell back. I had made Altair order healing stones for me so my skin was much better but... some scars refused to leave. Cassian's grip tightened and his eyes widened when he saw my skin. For some reason, that icky feeling filled my chest again and I pulled back my arm.

"I'm fine now. That stepmother is honestly a bitch but I don't care, I'm just going to live well- huh?"

A sudden chill set in the room; I felt a cool from the tip of my toes to the top of my head and I looked down to see that my skin was suddenly covered in goose bumps.

What's this?

I snap my head up to look at Cassian and my breath caught in my throat.

His jaw was clenched as he glared ahead. His amethyst eyes were glowing. It was a faint light that continued to get brighter. It looked scary but unrealistically beautiful at the same time.

What is this...

Before I knew it, my fingers were reaching out towards him, like a moth attracted to that light. I was mesmerized, which is why I didn't hear the slight cracking sounds around me; nor did I notice the frost covering up the furniture, vases and décor in the room. My fingertips barely brushed across his cheekbone when-

Crash!

There was an explosive sound behind me- no, all around me, and I jumped around in surprise and fear. The huge glass windows behind me had shattered into tiny fragments, including the pieces of décor all over the room. Everything cracked and exploded around me and I could hear screaming around the manor as people reacted to the sounds of the explosions.

It was like slow motion that lasted a millisecond before everything just rushed in all at once. Tiny fragments of glass shimmered as they fell to the ground; resembling sparkling stars, reminding me of galaxies.

It was the result of Cassian's fury.

His anger wasn't red hot; it didn't burn or melt.

It was a glowing blue. It starts out faint and dim, before growing brighter; so bright that the blue turns a dazzling white, blinding it all.

His fury was silence before the chaos; the eye of the storm before it all goes to hell.

I knew from the book that this was just a tiny taste.

I could only let out a sound of shock as I tripped backwards, towards Cassian's chest. He caught my shoulders and the goose bumps returned.

His hands were freezing. His fingertips were like ice.

He's this angry?

My back was tight against his chest and I couldn't see his face. After a silence, I only heard his low voice whisper out these frightening words.

"Should we kill her?"

A cold silent voice. I heard it ring clearly in my ears, like bells. It was terrifying.

...This isn't the type of character he is.

He was just saying it in his anger.

The Cassian from the book had told heroine that he never killed for grudges; only to protect his people. I knew that but I felt the cold chill across my body anyway. My heart was beating out of my chest.

Why does he sound like he means it?

He doesn't mean it. He doesn't mean it. He's not this type of scary person. I let out a shaky breath and put on a trembling smile. I leaned forward and turned around so I could look at him.

His face had a sombre expression. His eyes turned more sad when they met mine. It was the first time I've ever seen him like this.

"Why are you saying such a thing?" I smiled at him nervously. "It's not like you at all."

He reached out and pulled at my fingertips. He looked down at my hand. Frost was tickling at my skin and gathering at his touch before he melted it away. And then he looked back into my eyes. "Why not...?" He parted his lips and he continued,

"It's just another thing I'll have to do for you."

My breath caught in my throat. I suddenly remembered a fragment of Nora's memory.

It was of the moment Cassian arrived in Ilaria, on his horse, all the way from the Forest of Death, with a Phrixios.

Right then, there was a knocking on the door. The door opened with my permission, and the sounds of chaos in the mansion could be heard in the background as Avea walked in leisurely, as if all this destruction in the room was nothing, not a big deal at all.

"Are you alright?" She asked us both with that expressionless face of hers.

...That's what I want to ask.

The silver-haired boy with amethyst jewels eyes continued to look into mine. Then he looked away and let out a sigh. "You're right. What am I saying?" He shook his head and turned towards my red-hair aide.

"Avea."

"Yes, Lord Cassian."

"Fire everyone in this estate."

"Yes, Lord Cassian."

"What!" I interjected between their conversation, completely bewildered. Cassian just continued.

"Have them sent to Aldebaran to receive punishment."

"What punishment!"

"Yes, Lord Cassian."

"Stop!" I was completely baffled right now. "No punishment!"

Cassian furrowed his brows at me. "But Nora-"

"Just send them away. Anywhere, somewhere far." I don't want to be tied down with thoughts of them being punished because of me. If they are to leave anyway, I just don't even want to think about them anymore.

Cassian was silent for a moment with pursed lips before he breathed out his nose and agreed. "Fire everyone and have them replaced. Not a single servant involved in these estates should be seen around the capital anymore. Have them sent far away."

"Do you have a place in mind, my lord?"

Cassian narrowed his eyes. His intense gaze sent chills down my spine.

"Somewhere very cold."

Ice...

He's like hail.

In the middle of the room, we were surrounded by destruction. Cassian turned to look at me and I didn't know how to react. Stare back into amethyst or avert my eyes?

***

You must have noticed this about Nora by now,

She went through depression in her past life, which also led to her having anger issues. It's why she can't always control herself when she gets angry and says or does things she regrets. I guess it's another 'imperfection' of hers and something she'll have to overcome in life. Real people do make mistakes, like getting angry and throwing hands, and other stuff, even if it isn't 'right'. They do end up hurting the ones they love. To be honest... I've been thinking a lot these days about why I can't find people like me in most books. When did we writers only write about perfect people? That actually hurts a bit, as such an imperfect person. Am I being erased from stories...? lol how isolating and lonely.

Edit: Ah, I wasn't criticizing writers for not writing about such people! To elaborate, this thought was actually something I had when I watched this movie last week, called Kabir Singh. It's about this man with extreme anger issues and self-destructive tendencies. He crossed maanyy lines in the movie, but at the same time, he was the most human protagonist I had ever seen. While watching I felt like both Kabir and I were people who were only ever expected to, and were only ever worthy of saying 'I'm sorry' to everyone around us for the way we are. That's when I thought, why did it take me all these years to find such a character? When did people start writing of such characters as always villains and not heroes?

I felt like my world was so saturated with perfect characters, that it just got a little suffocating lol. It's probably not very relatable to everyone, but ah, what can I do about such thoughts

About shipping... please ship her with whoever you want without worrying about who she actually ends up with lol I don't mind giving alternative endings a try. 'Books must have one ending' 'one ending is a life lesson', etc, I really don't care for such philosophies. I'm writing and you're reading for pleasure, so ship her with whoever makes you happiest and leave the rest to me. I'll try my best! :)

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my story :) These are all actually first drafts, and I plan on editing the story majorly in the future, and bettering my way of writing, along with changing and adding various scenes. It means a lot to me that my book is being read by you. Thank you so much!

Also, Two Kids is a real song :') I read the lyrics yesterday and thought woah, it actually goes so well with the ranting in the last chapter. It's by Taemin.