Chapter 24:

Am I hollow? I am not. I doubt it myself sometimes but I have a heart just like you Although mine is a little more tired. And very confused.

I took a sip and immediately my throat burned. I felt it in my nose and my eyes watered.

"Agh...!" I groaned and Rezel's lips twisted up at my reaction.

"What's with that face!" He laughed at me and I glared, pushing the bottle towards him.

"Oh? Let's see if you're still laughing after you try it!" He gave me an arrogant smile as he took the bottle from me and threw it back, taking a huge gulp. Then his eyes twitched and this time it was my turn to laugh at his face.

"What sort of poison is this made of?" He grimaced as he wiped his pink lips and I continued to laugh.

"No, please, do it again!" I begged him to take another sip so I could see that face again and now he glared at me. He snapped his fingers and a plate of grapes appeared on the table.

"Oooh, can you get apples too?" I reached out and popped a grape into my mouth. He raised an eyebrow at me and snapped his finger.

"Am I your fruit seller now?" He grumbled, stealing the twig of grapes from my fingers. I stuck my tongue out at him and reached for an apple, as well as another bottle.

With how strong our drinks were, it really didn't take us too long to...

I giggled from my place on the floor, where I was laying. Rezel was grumbling about his colleagues from on the couch. I, too, let off some steam.

"Then that red-haired woman, she used to be so quiet but she talks so much these days! I can't ever win against her!"

"You're just weak," Rezel grinned at me as he took another sip. "Should I give you a stone to help?"

I clicked my tongue and shook my head. "She's too nice for me to do anything like that. Hmph, I knew I never liked red."

This made him gasp for some reason and he looked at me in surprise. "You don't like red?"

I scrunched up my nose and shook my head. There were too many reasons not to like that colour. "It's scary."

Rezel stood up from the couch. "That won't do, storyteller. You can't hate red."

I sat up as well and looked at him in confusion. "Why not?"

"You just can't."

"What's with this guy," I squinted my eyes at him. We got back to chattering about random things until I said I wanted music, and he jumped off the couch.

"Let's go out!" We decided excitedly and he snapped his fingers to have me dressed in commoner's clothes. I looked at myself excitedly in the mirror. He too changed from his fancy yukata into a white ruffle shirt with a low neckline and beige pants. Then he held out his hand for me to hold but I shook my head. "Wait."

I pointed to my hair. "Can you get me a wig? I can't be recognized by anyone."

He raised his eyebrows incredulously. "A wig? When I can just do this?" He snapped his fingers and I felt a little breeze. When I looked back into the mirror, I had beautiful hair as red as blood.

"As expected of Rezel..." I murmured as I felt my locks between my fingers. They looked foreign but still felt the same. Then I looked at him with my nose scrunched up. "But why red?" I whined.

He just shrugged, a lazy smirk slowly forming on his lips.

"You absolutely cannot hate the colour red. I'll make sure of it."

Who knew he'd be so sensitive about favouritism of colours?

Now I held out my hand to him and he wrapped his fingers around it, before we vanished from my room.

"The dance masters are here!" I giggled.

We were back in the same place as last time because of how much we'd enjoyed it and this time as well, Iveren was here. He still had a dark wig on that covered his light teal blue coloured hair. We were too far from each other to properly see our faces, so I didn't worry too much; besides, I was too tipsy to care anyway. We listened to him for a moment, feeling his singing flow into us before he began to play more upbeat songs. Tonight as well, the chairs and tables were moved to make space for everyone to dance.

"Do you know how to do that dance?" I asked Rezel, pointing with my chin at a group of people dancing together.

"I haven't done it before but it shouldn't be too hard." He said casually as we both drank more.

"What, you'll do that in one try? Just by watching?" I gaped at the dancers. And then shook my head in disbelief, waving my hand dismissively. Rezel, feeling provoked, raised an eyebrow.

"What, you don't believe me? Shall we see it then?" He held a hand out to me and I shook my head, but the boy reached out and grabbed my hand anyway. He stood up, pulling me along and I laughed as I stumbled with him. I was apprehensive at first but I couldn't help but laugh in excitement with the fun atmosphere surrounding us. I tried to move with Rezel but-

"No," He chuckled. "You're supposed to do it like this!"

I shook my head with a grin. "I can't; I have a terrible teacher!"

He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards him to steady me. "I just have a lazy student!"

"Ahh, you found out?" I giggled, being turned around by Rezel and then holding onto his shoulders.

"You're terrible at this," He laughed.

"What a discouraging teacher."

"You mean honest."

"No, I mean you're just a dick."

Rezel blinked in shock before he burst out into laughter so loud, people turned to look at us.

"You... are you really a noblewoman?"

I distractedly reached my hand out to a curly lock of hair that was on his forehead and pulled it. "Damn, it's so curly."

He frowned. "Says you?" and then he pulled at a lock of my curly hair as well. Then the two drunkards stood there in the middle of the dancefloor just pulling at each other's hair.

We burst into laughter. "What are we doing right now?"

Iveren had a way of making people move; it was sweet when he sang of love, and it was mischievous when the song was teasing; it was hard not to move to this perfect voice. As one of the main leads, he had the power to sway anyone's emotions. So who could win against him if he wished for us to let go of ourselves in the moment?

I don't know how I ended up dancing on the table and needing Rezel to then carry me down; nor do I know about the group of girls who pulled us both away to join them in their dance; I just knew that it was happening, not that I was doing any of this. And how nice it was.

Then before we knew it, we were nearing the end of the night. Iveren hadn't left early this time; he stayed until everyone had tiredly retreated to our tables and began to play a soft song on his guitar.

I stared at him in a daze as I stood, leaning back against my table. I closed my eyes for a moment to just be able to listen to the music. I remembered memories from my past life. There was a coffee shop I used to pass by every day. I'd watched the plant on the windowsill grow taller day by day. My neighbour also had a little kid. She always looked the same for the longest time, until I saw an old picture and realized that she actually had grown quite a lot. It was the same with Yellow. I never realized how tall it had gotten. I wonder where it's teleported to?

I opened my eyes again and watched Iveren's fingers as they plucked at the strings. My gaze trailed up his hands towards his face.

I wonder how life is going for you?

The count's abuses, as well as the others... and soon you'll... the world is going to feel like it's coming down on you, dear...

Under that smile, do you feel like giving up...?

'When you are thinking such things, I'll pull you out. I won't let you have these negative thoughts in your head.'

At times, I've wanted to say such pretty words. It's what heroine does in the book.

When I read of how she saved him, I thought how nice. I want to save people too...

But I...

I'm just like you. I am stuck in my own palace of ruin, and the corridors are endless... Every turn drags me deeper and I am clutching at the doors so that I am not pulled further into that darkness. I'm leaving scratch marks on the walls.

When I myself am in tatters, how could I possibly help you?

I hope we never meet, Iveren...

Just as I thought that, the boy with the guitar looked up. For a second, our eyes connected. My heart jumped. Just before my sight was covered by Rezel's brown eyes.

"Storyteller," he murmured as he leaned closer and placed both his hands on either side of me on the table.

"Wh-what is it?" I asked, rattled by this sudden lack of distance. He continued to come closer and then gently rested his forehead on my shoulder.

"Tired..." he mumbled.

"What's with that voice..." I almost brought my hands to my lips in surprise. His voice sounded so different! Like some needy baby! "Pfft!" I had to hold back my giggle.

"Come, let's get you seated." I tenderly held onto his shoulders and led him to a chair, where he plopped down. I sat next to him and handed him some water. He shook his head and grabbed another bottle. "Rezel!" I exclaimed in shock.

He clicked his tongue at me. "I'm fine. You drink too."

I watched him for a moment before muttering, "Well... I was going to even if you didn't tell me to."

My words made Rezel let out sigh-like laughter. "This is why I like drinking with you. You're as empty as me."

I didn't say anything as I chugged a few more sips.

Soon enough, Iveren had to leave and we were left with no music. It was time for another session of honesty now that the sounds had become dull. Like us.

"Survival comes first right?" I asked Rezel. "I did something bad, but I feel like I had to do it to survive..."

"Why would you want to live this life that badly?" He asked me. I don't remember what face he was making when he voiced that question.

"...Isn't that funny? Back then, there was a point in my life where I didn't care if I lived or died, but I was wanted alive by the people around me. It was a little troublesome."

Rezel snorted. "Hypocrite."

I agreed. It was hypocritical. Because I also wouldn't want anyone else to die and leave me behind; but it's fine if it's me.

"Tell me a story. My brain is all..." Rezel did some non-sensical gestures with his hand.

"I don't have any fuckin' stories right now. My life itself is one heck of a sad story."

"Then tell me about your life."

Ah. There it is. A chance to talk about my misfortunes.

"You asked for it. You might even cry." At this, he gave me a bitter smile.

"We could compete when it comes to pathetic lives. But I just want to listen now."

I thought back to one of the numerous messed up moments of my past life. It was a scene with my mother.

"What are you going to do?"

It was probably the hundredth time she'd asked me this question.

"...I don't know."

I had left school; I couldn't bring myself to do my university assignments and I had no job. When asked what I wanted to do, my mind would come up blank. I could barely do anything even at home unless I was told what to do. They say that it's an aftereffect of abuse.

Like some... shell. Like a puppet, but even then, the strings were barely holding on.

I messed up no matter what I did. Doing anything at all scared me now, to the point of mentally paralyzing me.

"Do you want to get married?"

I blinked at this. "Of course not."

Marriage? That requires how much effort...? For an incapable person like me... even thinking of it is impossible.

"Then what do you want to do?"

"Nothing. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to marry; I don't want to work- I don't want to brea- do anything." I don't want to breathe, I don't even want to live. I couldn't say that to my mother but for some reason the thought made me laugh out loud. I began to laugh and my mother just stared at me.

I can't do anything.

Later I sat alone and thought about what she said. Do you want to get married?

Tears idly came dripping down as I realized the real meaning of that question.

Do you want to be a stay at home spouse? Since you won't study; since you can't go to work or do anything else. So do you want to get married?

Ah.

There's nothing wrong with wanting that. That's also a good back-up plan for someone like me.

But... but I'm sure I must have been someone who used to have dreams about my life too.

Even if I can't remember what that feels like anymore.

I looked at my crying pathetic self and thought,

Ah.

So this is what's become of me.

"When did this happen?" Rezel asked me.

"...In my past life," I answered.

He nodded. "So you remember your past life?" he took another gulp of his drink and I blinked at him.

"...Will you believe me if I said that I did?"

"You know... I want to believe all that you say."

He was quiet for a moment before he continued,

"All your words. When you talk about a boy who bravely saved his friends; or a girl who protected her city from evil; people who changed their world..."

Then he gave me a small smile. "But especially when you talk about someone who makes mistakes... someone who can't control everything and someone who learns from all this... when you tell me these stories, I want to believe all of them. That even if not in this world, there is somewhere that such people exist. Some people who are like me... some others who are not... Such people who keep winning... and doing everything that I'm not."

Of course, I didn't know what to say to that.

"Besides," Rezel tilted his head at me with a little smile. "There's no way all those stories are of books from this world. I searched for some of them, you know. So you really do remember your past life, storyteller?"

"What's this," I mumbled.

So it was this easy?

"All this time, reincarnation protagonists should have just stuffed the main lead with alcohol and spilled all the truth. Who knew it'd be this easy to believe?"

To think all they needed to do was get the main lead drunk...

I don't remember much else from that night. Just bits and pieces. There was a moment when I had begun to get dizzy and nauseous and needed to get fresh air. At that time, I remember Rezel snapping his fingers. Sitting back on a bench with Rezel beside me. We both leaned back and looked up at the sky. It was quiet; I didn't know where I was, but I could feel a comforting breeze. We both were quietly looking up at the stars. We both were thinking about life.

I got home safely that night.

And when I woke up-

"Ahhh... I'm in hell."

"Lord Caeles will be arriving soon to escort you to the first day of the charity exhibition, Lady Eleonora."

"Why can't this red-haired devil ever say something that'll make me happy?"

"I had the chef prepare your favourite apple cereal breakfast."

I gasped, touched at this. "I-I'm sorry, Avea, I take it back. You're the kindest red-haired devil."

"With the medicine for your amnesia, of course."

I scrunched up my nose. Ever since Avea got here, she had me checked up saying it was unbelievable how I was given no proper treatment for my amnesia, and since then I've had to take this disgusting concoction every morning.

"I don't want it."

"Lady Eleonora, you are currently the sole heir of-"

"Alriiight! How many times! I'll just press my nose and drink it down. Jeez, why do you talk so much?"

Avea just nodded, and I noticed satisfaction on that expressionless face; I could tell the slight differences these days. The thought that this meant we had spent too much time together made me shudder.

To be honest... I was scared that I was spending so much time with one person. Because it meant that I was sure to get attached. But the other person...?

"I'm waiting for the day you get tired of my tantrums and leave," I muttered to her after I drank the medicine and wiped my mouth.

"Then I'm afraid you'll have to wait for a very long time, indeed." She told me without hesitation.

I snorted. "Just pretty words."

"Good job on finishing your medicine, Lady Eleonora." She handed me an apple as reward.

I begrudgingly bit into it as she gently patted my head.

***

Altair had his gender changed! Sorry about that!

It was a suggestion by @half-dream and I agreed that Nora needed more females around her haha

Also, I want to take this time to thank all the readers who've read my book and voted and commented. Especially these few people

@N___S___IRA They were the first person to ever vote and comment on my book. I still remember that moment I got that notification and I'm so grateful!

@SunitaArgade because their comments gave me more confidence in my writing. I kept re-reading them because of how relieved and happy I felt!

@fttguy because you've been such a great reader and your comments are always so interesting and nice to read! Thank you so much!

@CrescentLumina0706 because I was relieved and happy when you said you could relate to my book.

@LadduBears because I honestly love reading your comments! They've made me happy so many times!

@MissNoir11 asdfghjk that one comment about leaving your homework so that you could read the chapter but then your cat just- anyway, i love you

You guys are probably some of the oldest readers of my book ahaha and I'm sure my forgetful brain is missing someone but I'll make sure to add you in!

There are some more people I'm so grateful for!

@FoodsRMyThang your comments made me feel honoured on a whole other level. I had to just sit with my thoughts for a bit. Thank you so much, I don't even know what to say honestly.

@eccentrichopes I LOVE YOU AND YOUR ICON. I SWEAR I LOVE YOUR COMMENTS SO MUCH MY HEART JUST FEELS PURE AND HAPPY AHH YOU ARE MY SWEETHEART

@dionysus_hoseok THANK YOU BABY ASDKF everytime I see your icon and your comments I'm just YES

@AaelinSardothing thank you for your comments! They're exciting for me to read!

@kneter YOU ALWAYS LEAVE SOME OF MY FAVOURITE COMMENTS!

@Hey_Crembrulee your encouragement meant a lot to me, I actually got a little emotional, thank you so much!!

@LizzieWipc I actually gasped when I saw your comment about how this story inspired you to write your own. I felt so honoured, I didn't even know what to say. PLEASE! I am ready to be your first fan! Thank you so much and you'll do great! Good luck my love!

@TwTRGCsketchrey thank you so much for all your comments!!! They're always interesting to read heheh

@MarMod8 I felt so honoured when you said you don't usually comment on wattpad but you just had to for my story, and now you comment usually! I feel happy everytime, thank you so much!

@HikamiHonshu2005 It's come to a point that I now wait for your comments every chapter haha though I still don't quite know what you meant exactly when you said that Nora reminded you of an englishwoman ahaha ksksfdai i love you

@roseirav I smile everytime I see your comment and I feel so grateful for you; really thank you so much!

@YangkuYangku thank you for commenting on every chapter without fail <3

@vitchsan thank you so much for reading and voting everytime! <3

@The_social_introvert thank you so much for your comments on my writing! They made me very relieved and happy!

@Your_Pet_Rat YOU ARE SOME AWESOME EMOTIONAL SUPPORT I MEAN IT!! I swear, your comments helped me at the right time, thank you so much!!

@yah-rah thank you so much <3

@bplisabangs gets an honorary mention for recognizing Taemin's song Two Kids djaskkjas and thank you so much for reading <3

@kooookiesss I love you the most and you know it my dear <3 thank you so much my love, I am so grateful for you, how do I even tell you? I swear, I love you, who only gives even though I'm bad at giving back. Thank you. you're my only irl now that I think of it lol

Ahhh, there's someone I wanna thank.

My star, my amazing boy, my love Taemin lmao he just came out with an album and damn boy I've been listening to Criminal on repeat and that mv that choreography OOF If this story had a soundtrack, I'm sure Criminal by Taemin would be on it. Speaking of which, are there any songs that remind you of this story? I thought it's an interesting question, because I actually use songs as inspiration for my chapters.

Once again, I don't think I'll ever get tired of saying thank you, although you might get tired of hearing it at this point, but really it's your fault for being so kind to me. Thank you so much for reading my story <3