Chapter 25: The irony of temptation. They say Lucifer had the prettiest face.

"Cassian isn't well today." Caeles and I were in a carriage heading towards a charity exhibition. "So you better watch yourself." Caeles warned me and I rolled my eyes.

"What happened to him?" I asked.

"...He's been overworking. He ended up getting a cold."

Ah... then he really needs to be careful. Colds in fictional worlds always make for unique situations.

Caeles watched me for a moment. "What about you?"

"What about me?" I asked, confused.

"I heard... about what had been happening in the estate." He looked uncomfortable. It made the corners of my lips quirk up.

"What's this? Are you worried about me?"

Caeles gave an annoyed sigh but continued to watch me quietly, waiting for me to reply. I tilted my head.

"Don't you know who I am? I handled it. Everything's fine now."

"You should have told someone. What did you do?"

I narrowed my eyes and shrugged. I'm sure my smile was the same as the one that terrifies me every time I look in the mirror. I spoke with disgusting glee. It was to cover my self-depreciation.

"I threatened to have their families killed. They all fell on their knees like dominoes. It was actually quite an interesting scene."

I smirked and continued, "Some of them were crying. It felt good to watch that. Serves them right."

My hands felt weird these days. Ever since that day when I used them and made someone bleed. I can still remember the feel of that girl's cheek beneath my palm as I struck her. In that madness, for a second, I thought I might finally feel satisfied if I caused them that pain. That I had a right to do it.

But that was false. I only felt more dirty and despicable. I thought relieving my anger on those people who have been bad to me would help me. But I just feel worse about myself. It's like when someone makes you angry and you finally snap and let loose; you say words that would hurt them and think that it would satisfy you. But that just leaves you with regret and a stinging of self-hate.

How terrible it actually feels to do bad things. And I do them anyway.

Maybe I did feel satisfied in the moment; but the cost of it was stuck to my hands now. It felt like my fingertips were dipped into a dirty, dark liquid. I have a higher status than them and used it to hit them and threaten them, like some abusive owner.

The me who's unloved by myself... I have no expectations of you liking her. So I might as well just do it on purpose; do things that would make you dislike me on purpose, instead of showing you my true self and risking hope. The hope that you'd accept me as I am. That's just troublesome. Hoping is troublesome.

That is why I will keep throwing tantrums with Avea, and it's why I am saying these words right now. Like a pathetic little child.

Whether this life or my past one, the more time I spent living, the further I felt myself losing the me I used to be.

Caeles was silent for a moment in surprise at my words, before he sighed and shook his head. I'm sure he was thinking, as expected of this psychotic girl. He must be thinking how despicable I am-

"Why is your back hunched like that?"

"Huh?" My thoughts were interrupted by Caeles saying something unexpected.

"Sit up straight. You did what you had to. It isn't wrong."

...Why?

Maybe he didn't know of how I had abused those two girls. Maybe he didn't know that I'd ripped that earring out and made her bleed. For some reason, I didn't mention it.

"...I've always been like this," I mumbled.

"You can change." He spoke so confidently. He said that so easily. For a second, I thought, 'He's right.'

I can just change. I don't have to be like this. I can just start being nice, I can just start-

I burst out laughing.

Ah... what am I thinking?

If it was that easy, I wouldn't be this fucked up of a person right now.

Do you think I haven't tried?

But somehow it always comes back to this.

Like a damn dog's tail.

Caeles sighed at me. As if he expected me to be weird anyway. Then he decided to be himself. The him that I was more comfortable with.

"I'm tired of seeing that colour on you," he tch-ed.

I was wearing another purple dress, as the signature colour of Lady Eleonora.

"Me too," A sigh subconsciously slipped out and Caeles blinked at me in surprise. I realized what I'd said and quickly changed my reply. "Is that what you thought I'd say? As if I'd ever get tired of the colour of my future husband's eyes, my dear brother-in-law?"

I gave an awkward typical villain laugh and pinched at the fabric of my skirt, holding it up. "This is the most beautiful colour in the universe! It's the colour I want to see every time I close my eyes. It's the colour I want all around me." I continued my obsessive ramblings and Caeles blinked at me before sighing and looking out the window.

"Do you even know what you're saying? Crazy woman." He muttered, his lips and cheek resting on his palm as he kept looking out the window and I realized something a little late.

The dress I was wearing today was one of the newer ones I'd had made for me by the dressmakers. Of course, they still mostly had shades of purple with them because they'd heard of me, and I was also continuing with my act of loving Cassian. But the purple shade of this dress today...

It was bluer. Anyone could see that.

Just like Caeles' eyes.

Ahh...

I'd fangirled obsessively over the wrong brother's eye colour. Tanzanite over Amethyst. Embarrassing. I don't even know what to say. So I just shut my mouth, even as I felt heat crawling to my ears at my blunder. I, too, turned quietly and looked out the window. But in time, I did sneak some glances at Caeles who was sitting in front of me. It wasn't exactly a lie, though...

The sunlight would come in randomly and hit his eyes, showing me the depths of them; it was like a little universe. Like a nebula or the depth of the sea. Just like the person themself, eyes are never one colour. They are deep, like a room you can enter; not a wall. You choose to walk in, and you'll be surrounded by these colours. It can either be uplifting, intriguing, beautiful or... suffocating.

A purple and blue tanzanite...

Caeles was such complex shades of light and dark, and really...

...What a pretty colour.

The rest of the carriage ride passed in silence; but that was just the eye of the storm.

The exhibition was held at one of the little palaces that were made for events like these. The empire had many places like this; it could certainly afford to. And what a marvel it was; there were statues of Carrara marble lined up outside; some ornamented by vines and flowers and incredible topiaries were ornaments to this place.

"You should be resting, my love," I reached out and held onto Cassian's arms worriedly as he greeted us once we reached the palace. "You should be at home."

The worry was real. Although Cassian looked fine on the outside, those close to him would be able to tell the little difference in his colour. He looked a little pale, and his eyes seemed tired.

I pressed my lips and furrowed my brows in concern. Cassian smiled gently at me.

"I agree with her," Caeles spoke. Somehow I've been hearing that more often from him. It throws me off whenever he agrees with me. Because it's always followed by an insult. "This girl is burdensome enough to handle, but now you'll have all those people following you around."

See? I knew it.

"Shut up, you giant chihuahua." I glared at him. He raised his eyebrows.

"Chihuahua?"

"Cause you're always barking."

"Pfft," For his turn in our game of insults, Caeles decided to use the attack 'unbothered'. It was a clever attack designed to frustrate the other player; which is me. And of course, it was working, as I've always been short-tempered. He casually ran a hand through his hair and smirked at me. "At least I will have things to do and have people approaching me. What about you, Lady Eleonora?"

It was true. I was only here because Avea decided I mustn't be at the estate all the time. Who knew what that noisy woman might chatter about if I stayed back? So I decided to brave Caeles instead but now... I growled and thought of strangling him. Oh look. My hands are reaching out. Slowly, I shall wrap them around his neck and-

Ah... they were caught by Cassian. Pity.

Cassian gently but firmly grabbed my wrists and placed them back on my sides with a tired but stern expression. "Not today, you two."

I liked how he said 'not today'. As if there exists a day when Caeles and I really could strangle each other and then he wouldn't do anything about it. Caeles and I gave apologetic looks to Cassian, before we turned back towards each other with a glare.

Soon after that, the two brothers left on their way and I sat at a table with a bunch of snacks and looked at the people around me as they went about talking, having tea, making acquaintance and making deals. Talking gossip and talking business. I've been in this world for a while now and it was still something I hadn't gotten used to: the people of this world and their manners, their way of dressing and their etiquette even when speaking. I watched them with curiosity instead of a feeling of alienation; after all, I was already used to that feeling from back in my own world.

The individual in the crowd; the different one; the bad apple.

And watching allowed me to learn a lot about the various people around me. When it came to the main leads of this world, I realized how Caeles was surrounded by mostly boys, although an alarming amount of girls were watching him from a distance, while Cassian had people of both genders sticking close to him. I snorted as I sipped my drink. It's probably cause Caeles had a 'no bullshit' attitude where he didn't speak more than necessary to anyone who wasn't close to him, while Cassian, as the heir apparent of a dukedom needed to make as many social connections as possible. Which is why he had that kind and sweet personality that made people crowd around him like moths to a flame.

Not to mention that he was also smokin' hot.

I'll admit that in my moments of people watching, my eyes were mostly glued onto these two main leads. You mustn't blame me; temptation always knew how to tease me. Beauty, sweets, pleasure... it was always too easy for me to say 'screw it' and jump in. So this time as well, I indulged in the beauty of the main leads in front of me as I placed my elbow on the table and rested my cheek on my palm.

Caeles' bright golden hair reflecting the sunlight caught my eyes. The arrogant second son of the duke. The one so full of passion and energy, that even the most icy and strict nobles eventually grew to be charmed by his carefree nature.

To the me who sat on the side and watched him, he was really shining so bright. It's like the child of the sun had come to play.

I tilted my head, feeling my heartbeat rise at the sight.

What a dangerous smile.

Many a woman had fallen for his charms as he grew but then he still only had eyes for the heroine...

A weary smile graced my face as I eyed the girls around me who were also staring and swooning over him from their seats.

As expected of the male leads. I shook my head and looked back at my plate.

Just looking at him fills you with the thought that you, too, can do anything.

It's why he will grow up to lead the army of the empire. It's why his soldiers would be filled with hope when they look at him. It's why he will go on to shine like the sun with people following him while I will lay myself down in a dark forest, all alone.

Ah... I must be in a mood to whine today. I keep thinking of such crap.

I scoffed. But isn't the difference a bit too much? That's quite annoying. I don't even want to look at him anymore. So I turned away towards Cassian. He had a gentle smile on his face as he looked down tenderly at the people surrounding him. He was hiding his tiredness well; I couldn't tell anymore that he was, in fact, unwell at all. He was raised in a way and always told that not he mustn't show any weakness whatsoever. His silver hair fell smoothly down his shoulders and moved graciously whenever he tilted his head or looked around. All those people were higher nobles; sophisticated and handsome boys and elegant and beautiful girls.

Now this made me snort. If Caeles was the sun, Cassian was the full moon; shining the brightest in the night sky with no shortage of stars around him. If Caeles made people want to stare at him and follow him, Cassian was the one who made people lose their minds at his sight; he made them capable of doing anything just to fulfil their desire of being near him; of being seen back by him.

Wasn't Eleonora the perfect example?

I got chills as I realized once again how I was in a world that shouldn't exist. Here, the beauty of jewel eyes are capable of driving people to madness. I hadn't forgotten how Nora wasn't the only villain in this book. Nora wasn't the only one driven to madness with obsession over the main characters of this book.

Later, I found out how the moon is actually a perfect symbol for our dear Cassian.

After I'd donated some money, I walked around the palace, looking at the various decorations. Donating always made me feel good but this time I was unsatisfied; I had the feeling that this money wasn't mine to donate and satisfaction from it would be undeserved. This thought was annoying but what can I do? I just shrugged it off and decided to enjoy my time here. This event was for nobles to gather and make connections; while they're at it, they'd donate as well. It was a win-win for them, I guess.

I walked in through the entrance of one of the numerous rooms. This was quite a huge event so there was a countless amount of nobles going around in groups. One such group caught my eye. There was a man in the middle of it; I couldn't see his face and he had a deck of playing cards in his hands. That in itself was a curious sight but the group's excitement was eye-catching. They all watched with anticipation as his hands shuffled the cards and he held out one of them, making a man gasp in surprise. "That's my card!"

He then leaned into another girl who was near him and pulled out another card from behind her ear. This made them cheer. Then he grinned and asked a person at the very back of the group to check what's beneath their foot. It was a card. The room became chaotic with excitement.

...What's with this 'Now You See Me' scene going on all of a sudden?

I was impressed as well, but then I'm someone who's usually stuck with Rezel, the master stone-handler of mischief.

"How manner less; getting close to the ladies like that." A man standing near me muttered to his two friends. I snorted to myself. Someone's jealous. Well, it's okay, I get you buddy. That was actually pretty cool to see.

"I heard some women talking about how Marquess Daesyn's wife was seen near his residence the other day." Oh? I raised an eyebrow and stealthily moved closer to them, interested in this free gossip.

"How I wish to punch that pretty face of his." It must be really pretty if it's gotten you this heated up.

"He's gotten arrogant after that money landed on his lap." Oh really? Was it an inheritance? From his dad's side or his mom's side?

"Ah, yes. That new business of his. Mighty suspicious, if I say so." Interesting. If it's a magic show, I want a discount. I've seen too many of such movies already.

"Lord Villin has always been a frivolous womanizer; what's new?"

I froze in my step.

...Villin?

Right then, the face of the man in the group finally came into view. I didn't realize that I had stopped breathing at this sight. Dark auburn hair that was almost black, flowing down the side of his temple in wavy locks that stopped at the edge of his eyebrow.

And those bewitching silver eyes that made you forget anything else existed when you stare into them.

Eyes that stare back as if they see all of you, as if you're naked and make goosebumps rise all over your skin as your hair stands up and you don't know but you feel something.

That something...

Is it fear or...

The thrill of it?

The main leads weren't the only uniquely beautiful characters in this world;

It was time to introduce the main villain.

I was frozen in my place as I stared at the new character in front of me. The hair on my skin had raised as a chill went through my body; but I could feel the sweat on my back.

People were crowding around him happily but they didn't know.

They didn't know that he was a psychopath who'd do anything to get what he wants.

Including kill innocents.

He's the one who falls into obsession with the heroine and does crazy things in his desire to possess her.

Nora was crazy too but...

This man had crossed all lines of being a human.

He was just a monster with the face of an angel. He was different from Azriel. This one was just malice in itself. He could get anyone under his finger if he wished so; he had that manipulative mind and the looks to help. It's why heroine had frustrated him so much. But he's done unspeakable things. He was a real villain undeserving of pity.

All books have such characters, right?

Right then, the man looked up. His silver eyes met mine and a hoarse sound of shock left my lips. He raised an eyebrow at my pale face.

And began to walk towards me.