Chapter 35: 'He ruined red for me.' Then... I'll make you love red again.

"Shit, the stars are just so pretty." I murmured as the breeze caressed my locks and turned towards Rezel. He glanced at me from the corner of his eyes as he sat beside me.

"They are. It's calming to know that no matter which way, I look up and there they are." He replied, with the smallest smile.

"Are we very far?" I asked as I idly pressed at the grass with my finger and he shrugged.

"Is there anywhere else you'd rather be?"

I thought about it. At this moment, it felt like the stars were twinkling down solely for us two. And the trees, and the grass and the ground. It's amazing to be included in the same group as these. It was too easy to forget about the stars sometimes. I breathed in, filling my lungs. Then I sighed.

"Ah... I'm just so sad."

Maybe it was the melancholy of leaving tomorrow. Goodbyes are always so sad. So annoying. And too common.

Rezel didn't reply. Instead, he leaned back and laid himself on the ground, to better look at the sky.

I sat still for a moment, before following suit and laying beside him.

"Will you visit me?" I asked him.

"You talk as if you're going somewhere far from me," he replied easily, almost as if he was teasing.

"But I am," I raised my eyebrows. "Ilaria is very far from the capital. It's bordering the empire."

He shrugged. "You're still in the empire."

"But still...?"

"You need to understand something, storyteller." He turned on his side to face me.

"You'll never be too far from me."

Ah.

I blinked at his words. "You know, that sounds a bit-"

"What, did you forget who I am?" He quickly followed up those suspiciously romantic and dangerous sounding words with a dismissive wave of his hand.

"Yeah, yeah," I giggled, for some reason feeling an excitement in my chest as I too turned on my side to be face to face with him. It seemed scandalous for some reason. As if we shouldn't be caught doing this. "You're the greatest stone-handler of the Sorin Empire."

"That's right and-" he reached out to touch my earring. "I'm not done hearing your stories yet."

"You know, you haven't even been paying me with those plants anymore?" I raised an eyebrow and he made an offended expression, almost sending me into another fit of giggles at just the sight.

"You've got pretty much all the touchable dangerous plants in and out of the empire in your collection! Not to mention, all those drinks you've gulped down. I'll never forget that one time, reaching out for a bottle to find out they were all empty! And no wonder you were mumbling to yourself on the ground."

"As if you weren't the one who randomly just grabbed my hand, pointed to the distance and asked me, 'Nora, is it just me or does that man have a pink beard?'"

"And what about it?" Rezel snorted, bewildering me.

"It wasn't a beard! He was just pink because of he was in a drunken fight and the other guy had him in a chokehold between his elbow! And I can't believe you did nothing, what with all your powers!"

"He ended up winning though, didn't he?"

I threw my hands up in exasperation. "That's besides the point! And while that was happening, you turned away, completely ignoring everything and then you manifested this teddy bear and just hugged him for the longest time."

"Shut up," he grumbled. "I was feeling lonely that night."

I brought my fingers to my lips, thinking that was a little cute, the way he said that.

"Anyway, what about you?" He looked at me again, a little curiously.

I rolled my eyes at him changing the subject. "Me what?"

"Tell me a story about your past life. Did you have a lover, storyteller? Is it okay for me to ask?"

I bit my lip. I didn't want to talk about him right now. I sighed.

"Love was a luxury. People in my world were too busy trying to survive and love got pushed to the back, where it eventually died out." I shrugged, knowing Rezel's eyes were on me. On my expressions, and focusing on the pitch of my voice. "We all wanted it and goodness knows we needed it but we had to be real, and live in reality or we'd go mad in the spaces of fantasy and daydreams of things we wanted to happen to us."

I was scared that if I let myself go, I'd never want to come out of my warm wonderland, and that I'd have to face the cold reality. Cowardice. Days became cold, and it was winter even in summer. Kindness was an unexpected surprise, and sometimes a burden. Now I have to be kind back.

"Despite that... were you ever in love?"

I nodded.

"What... was it like?"

In reply to Rezel's question, I closed my eyes. And from my lips, the thoughts of a Rose in love were whispered softly, as if speaking the words of a diary.

The face I once loved formed like puzzle pieces coming together in my mind. The smoke revealed a smile directed at me. Eyes looking into mine. Eyes that I was so glad were looking at me.

"But now... I can't stop. I can't stop daydreaming about you. I close my eyes and there you are, always in my mind, in my thoughts. You're always in my head and I have to be conscious when I think of you, so that I don't start smiling to myself when I'm amongst people; they don't know why I'm smiling. It's because I thought of the moment I made you laugh." And my smile was heard in my voice. I was smiling even now. "It had made my heart feel warm, you see. It was so new. It was... it's like I can't get enough of you. I crave you." It could be felt. A tinge of need. A sort of desperation. Ah, I remember it even now. I feel... a little alive.

And then, he'd replied, the boy I loved.

"I want to see you, and I want you to see me. But it's fine even if you don't; I know that I don't deserve such a thing. But just let me be here. Let me have just your presence, or even your sight."

And now that you've shown me what it's like to be able to truly love someone...

...What a pity.

What a pity that we were made to become like this.

Hey... that time... why did you do that?

...I hate red.

I hate the colour in your hair. I hate the colour of your eye shadow. I hate the colour you painted our nails with. You did this. You ruined red for me.

...When I didn't even have a favourite colour until you told me red looks good on me.

I turned towards Rezel and looked at his eyes.

"To me... love was obsession. Because I was broken, and no one told me how to love. But this is an obsession where you also care about the other person; it is important that you don't do things that would hurt them. That's what love is."

Rezel didn't reply, and I was quiet too. We both turned back to look at the stars once again. My mind was racing with thoughts when Rezel spoke.

"Just now..."

Hmm? I glanced at him from the corner of my eye.

"Just now, storyteller..." He covered his eyes with his arm and curious, I faced him. My lips parted at his sight. He continued.

"Just now, you looked... really beautiful."

His ears... were red.

No, my eyes could be playing tricks on me. After all, it was night and really dark, if not for the light of the bright full moon.

"Wh...what?" I stuttered and he pressed his lips together before he sighed. He pulled down his arm just a bit to peek at me with gorgeous eyes.

"I've never been in love but..." He removed his arm and turned on his side, completely facing me. "Hearing you speak just now..." He furrowed his brows.

"It made me wish you were in love with me."

When I say that I suddenly couldn't even breathe... I felt an old familiar feeling in my stomach.

"Rezel..."

He shrugged. "How do people fall in love anyway?"

"Why are you asking?"

He smirked a little. Almost with a soft expression.

"Just wanted to know. How did you fall in love, storyteller?"

"Why-why are you asking?" I asked again. He tilted his head, his smile growing wider for some reason.

"Innocent curiosity. Why, is it a secret?"

"Yes, it is. I'm never telling you."

"Oh no," He imitated a pouty face. Before a full-on grin took its place on his pink lips.

"That just makes me want to know more, dear storyteller."

"Shut up," I warned him, the feeling in my belly nagging at me. It wasn't disappearing, like the fireworks usually do.

"Hey, tell me, Nora..." He leaned towards me a little and my eyes widened. "Or..." He raised an eyebrow.

"Rose?"

That's it. I squealed and sat up, and he laughed at me. "Shut up, seriously," I hit his arm. "I'm too easy when it comes to this shit! What if I really start crushing on you? Oh my gosh, I'd die."

I spoke fast to hide the fact from myself. The fact that when I heard his voice say my name for the first time like that, my heart just... I don't even know what it did. Shit. This damn loser. Shit, wait no. I am not crushing on this boy! I was already on my daddy kink stage in my past life! As embarrassing as that was.

And he wasn't serious either. He was laughing. He, too, sat up now and I glared at him. Then rolled my eyes in defeat. "Stop joking," I hissed. That's when he stopped laughing.

"I wasn't joking," He said, looking right at me and I went expressionless.

"You were laughing at me?" I muttered and he raised his eyebrows.

"I wasn't laughing cause I was joking. It's cause you were cute just now."

My lips parted. What do I even say to that? Do I laugh? Should I laugh? Or get mad? Wait, shit.

"Shut up, Rezel," I mumbled, and then I fixed a glare at him. "I don't like love anymore. I'm never going to let myself fall for anyone again so," I pressed a finger against his shoulder. "Anymore talk about this is forbidden."

"Wait-"

"No. No. I will never let myself get like that again. I hate it. I hate him. I hate him, I hate his smile, his eyes, I hate his words, and I don't want to hear them again. I don't want to see him again and I hate... I hate, I hate, I hate..." I grit my teeth, feeling a pain in my throat. It was all lies. "I hate the colour red, Rezel."

The only truth.

His eyes widened.

"So let's not talk about love again. It's forbidden." I turned my head, trying to look away. I stared at the ground, my eyes wondering around, not really focusing anywhere. Then I turned back to him. "I want to go home now." I mumbled. He nodded and reached out his hand. I put my hand in his but for some reason, he didn't snap his fingers. I looked up at him and he was already looking at me. His grip on my fingers tightened and he parted his lips to speak.

"What if..."

I watched him, unmoving. He pressed his lips together and then spoke again.

"What if, storyteller..." He furrowed his brows, as if saying something he was scared to say. Then his gaze into my eyes grew stronger.

"What if I make you stop... hating red?"

I raised my brows. He continued.

"What if I make you love red?"

...You can't. Could you paint me over like that? You can't, Rezel.

But for some reason, I smiled. I tilted my head, leaning forward a little. It was the confidence of someone who already knew.

That it was impossible.

"Then, my dear..." I changed our grip; now it was me holding his hand in mine. He was watching me, and I looked into his brown eyes.

"I will love you forever."