8. Hey, teach me how to kill?

I didn't think I'd be leaving the house so soon after yesterday...

Once I got back home yesterday, I decided I wouldn't spend my time depressed over what had happened in the tea party, so I had my servants arrange for an outing today.

Hopefully it's worth it. I deserve a break.

I couldn't have been more relieved when I finally stepped out of the carriage, trying my best to hold in my motion sickness.

And this corset...!

I'd heard about the atrocities of the corset but never thought I'd have to wear it! And just why did the maids tighten it so much?! The dress from yesterday didn't require a corset, but it's still normal for women in this world to wear them.

Fortunately, Nora's body seemed used to it so it wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be, and I'd picked the prettiest dress from my closet and was actually feeling pretty good about myself.

"The entrance is that way, my lady," the maid accompanying me gestured surprising me with her politeness. I thanked her with a smile, which she returned.

So not everyone is that terrible to me.

It was such a little thing but I was glad nonetheless. Today didn't seem like such a bad day, I thought with a genuine smile.

"I want to look around a bit before visiting the library." I was dying to see how different the town would be compared to my world. The maid agreed and we set off into what looked like a market.

With colourful shops and stalls everywhere, the place bustled vividly with colours and people, and I looked at everything with awe. I'd never been to Disney World, but I thought the feeling must have been similar.

The area was lively with merchants and people from all over the world; I saw people dressed in cultural clothing from Arabia, India, Greece... and they looked so good!

I felt excitement bubble in me as I scanned the people and the colourful trinkets for sale around me. There were all sorts of souvenirs; décor items, food ingredients, clothes, and a bunch of cafes and restaurants.

This world is so perfect!

I want to buy all sorts of clothes and try all the food! But I grimaced at my wallet. I'd found some money in Nora's room but it wasn't much at all.

Just what kind of rich father doesn't give his daughter any allowance at all? I grumbled to myself. I'm in such a lovely place but my situation is so unfair!

"Woof woof!"

"Gah!" I yelped in surprise when a dog suddenly appeared in front of me, baring its teeth.

"Woah! What's gotten into you?" a stall merchant pulled at the dog's leash and gave me an apologetic look. "I got him, lady. Don't worry!" He pulled the dog away, constantly looking between me and the dog as if something strange had occurred.

I patted my chest, trying to calm my heartbeat. What's with that dog? It's the first time an animal had looked at me so scarily.

I tried to put the incident at the back of my mind and continued exploring the market but...

"Grr!"

"Bow wow!"

"Hiss!"

No way...

I bit my fist, trying to control my tears.

Please tell me it isn't so...!

"Why!" I wailed as I crouched with the pain of my broken heart and my maid panicked. We were catching our breath after I was chased by stray cats.

"My lady! Please don't lower yourself!"

"But whyyy!" I sobbed dramatically. "Why is it like this?!"

In my past life, although I was shit poor I always did my best to visit and volunteer at the animal shelters near my home. Cuddling and petting their soft fur; feeding them and seeing them run towards me always filled me with happiness. Not even a cat or dog-lover, I always proudly called myself an animal-lover.

But...!

"They hate me..." I blew my nose in the handkerchief my maid, Lily, handed to me. Everywhere I went in this market, I was glared at by the animals I doted on so much in my past life.

Animals hate Eleonora Sollea, the villainess!

"Isn't this too much?!" I cried and Lily just looked at me awkwardly, at a loss of how to react.

"My lady, shall we make our way to the library?" She asked awkwardly and I replied with a sniffle.

"Alright... that is what we came here for, after all."

I pitifully raised myself, ignoring the stares of the people around me and followed Lily out of the market.

A villainess' fate is so unfair! A heroine is born automatically loved by all creatures, and here I am as the opposite!

We came to the entrance of our destination and my thoughts were interrupted.

The library was absolutely grand and majestic.

And freaking gigantic!

The pain of animal rejection pushed to the back of my mind, I gawked at the huge building in front of me. One would think this is a palace!

We ascended the stairs, passing beautifully decorated entrances and areas and walked in through giant gates.

The welfare of this empire is so amazing...

Although the complete opposite of the vibrant market we were just in, the inside of the library was no less astounding; white marble walls and flooring; priceless artefacts, picturesque statues and enchanting tapestries ornamented the gigantic shelves filled with all sorts of books. I could only stand and gape until Lily coughed to catch my attention and ushered me towards the librarian.

Call him a tyrant, but the emperor sure made his empire shine like no other...

When I thought of a library, I expected a more cosy place and a lot more wooden furniture; however this makes me feel like my broke student ass has suddenly snuck into some unbelievably sophisticated and unaffordable 5-star hotel and any moment the swanky managerial staff will find me and have me kicked out.

How am I supposed to comfortably read in here?

Sometime later, I stood between towering bookshelves and eyed my surroundings wearily. It seems I am the only once who seems out of place here; even Lily, at my urging, has settled in comfortably with a book by an extremely long and expensive looking table.

I skimmed through the shelves with books about plants. The books about Oracles were mainly in some Ancient Language of the Sorin kingdom and honestly, looked very boring.

But the heroine has no trouble, she automatically knew all these characters even without ever being taught.

I groused to myself and moved onto books about plants as this information could come in handy when I finally awaken my second 'strand'.

I stood, reading about all sorts of unique flowers; there were a few I recognized from my world but also some that didn't look natural to me at all.

I thought so when I saw the Phrixios, but this world has more of its own unique flora and fauna, as well, I deliberated.

There weren't too many details in the novel, and I don't remember everything anyway but everyday, seeing how detailed this world was pushed me further into realizing how this truly wasn't some dream; this really is my new reality.

I pursed my lips grimly and ran my fingers across the spines of various books, reading their titles.

Huh?

One book in particular looked completely different from others. I pulled it out and read its name.

"My Petals Bloom for You?" I tilted my head. All other books had such boring scientific titles but what's with this one?

I opened it and read a few words and shut it immediately. I looked around to see if anyone had seen me.

I fanned my embarrassed face. Who put this book here! And moreover, how can I borrow it without showcasing to the people around me?

I knew these sorts of books existed but didn't expect for one to just land in front of me like this!

Ruefully, I placed the book back on the shelf. I realized it would be better to buy this book from a book shop instead of borrowing it from the library. Ah, should I really put it back in the same spot though?

"My lady," I jumped at the sound of Lily's voice and she looked at me with puzzled eyes. She'd left her seat to come stand by me.

"Y-yes?"

"It will be getting dark soon; should we make to leave?"

"Oh, right..." I glanced out the enormous arched windows that covered most of the walls. I didn't realize so much time had passed. "Alright, let me just borrow a few books and we can leave."

Lily left to call the carriage and I stood by the librarian's huge table getting my books stamped out. Well, I say 'stamped' but they were actually using some sort of mana-stones.

So they use magic to keep track of books...

How interesting. And I'd heard about how expensive mana-stones actually were but this empire really must be rich, to be able to afford to use it for every book like this.

"Is that really her? But why would a marquess' daughter..."

Huh? My ears perked up, hearing voices that suspiciously sounded like gossip.

"It is her! Why is she wearing such an outdated dress?"

Laughter. I looked down at my dress.

I was never one to really look out for current trends in fashion as I couldn't afford them anyway but Nora was different. As the daughter of a marquess, she had an image to maintain as a higher noble.

I felt a dull thud in my heart. And thought I'd looked pretty today...

I felt heat creep up my neck as I suddenly wanted to hide away.

"Is she really the abandoned daughter? Poor thing."

"Haven't you heard about her? She's always troubling Lord Cassian and behaves like a mad dog to everyone. Truly, she deserves it."

I wanted to shrink, hearing myself being talked about that way. Just in time, the librarian finished with my books and Lily came to get me.

As I took my books back from the librarian, my eyes glimpsed at a sort of poster by the wall.

"What is meant to be will always find a way."

The books slipped from my fingers. I barely registered Lily apologizing on my behalf and collecting the books. My gaze was vacant on the way back. My hands felt numb.

Am I meant to die in a few years after all?

I don't want to. It's scary. I don't know what happens when you die. Me coming to this world after my last death must have been a mistake, but if I die again... what will happen to me?

That night, I had a nightmare.

Red eyes staring into my own. Lips curved into a chilling grin. I could only see features of that face, never as a whole, but I knew the one looking at me was as beautiful as he was terrifying. The emperor's ice-cold blade lay against my neck.

His sword suddenly pierced into my skin, making my crimson blood gush out. The pain I imagined felt so real.

Again and again, that frightening blade pierced into my body. A chilling laughter echoed around the dark forest and every time I died, I was brought back to life. It kept repeating.

Almost like it was mocking me that what's going to happen will happen, no matter what I do.

I was weak and in agony.

I have to change the future. I must. I can't die like this.

...It's too scary... and it's so lonely...

I'm going to die I'm going to die I'm going to die

That night, wet with sweat, I woke up screaming those words.

***

"Are you okay?" the sweet voice of my flower friend whispered gently to me.

I was sat by my table, desperately waiting for the day to arrive.

No matter what, I have to convince Risor today. I have to change my fate, and for that I need to learn how to protect myself.

I wasn't stupid, I knew that with this malnourished body there's no way I could even hold up a sword for longer than two minutes, let alone win against anyone in a sword fight. Sword fighting like a badass main character is out.

But there is something Nora can do and that's using her ability to manipulate flora. I was so relieved that I wasn't a completely powerless character, even though the whole reason I even have this power is related to my death...

Sigh.

As long as I train myself, I'm sure I could do something with it. Like day before yesterday's poisonous flower... If the situation comes up, I could escape from danger, using something similar to that as a weapon, like poison ivy. Or I could run away and start a flower shop. Or anything.

But for that, I need guidance.

Usually a noble woman's schedule is full of classes; training to run a house, accounts, manage servants, be a good hostess, embroidery, flower-arranging...

But the abandoned daughter was hopeless so I had none of that; not like my stepmother would spare a penny anyway. With the reputation of an obsessed mad dog, even the lowest baron probably wouldn't want me to marry into their family. Once the heroine gains her powers, even the Duke will cast me aside.

At this point, my only hope was Risor.

No matter what, I need to get him on my side. Once I learn to self-sustain, I could run away from all the male leads and this shitty life.

"You're ignoring me again?" the carnations brought me out of my thoughts with a pitiful sigh. "Again?"

Feeling immense guilt, I immediately took a finger to a petal and tenderly caressed it. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."

"It's fine if you're talking now. I forgive you." There were no eyes, nose or lips to express, but I thought that if these flowers had a face, they'd surely be smiling sweetly at me. It warmed my heavy heart and my own lips curved into a shy smile.

"You're quite sweet." I laid my head on my arm, playing gently with the carnation's petals.

"My singing is sweeter! Do you want me to-"

"Oh, look! It's the sunrise!" I exclaimed, just in time. "Let me take you to the window! Eat plenty, okay?" I quickly held up the pot and placed it on the windowsill, thanking the sun for saving me. My heart isn't strong enough to tell the flowers that their singing was outright torturous. All I could decide was that no matter how sweetly they ask me, I will never, ever agree to let them sing again! At least not when I'm in the room...

"Good morning!" I greeted the ivy on my walls.

"You're up early. Are you waiting for Risor already?"

"As usual," I admitted.

I chatted lightly as I watched the sunrise and got down to read a plant book until the maid arrived with my breakfast. She was shocked to see my face, so I realized I must have looked pretty tired. The huge bags under my eyes and my dull cheeks made me look like an ugly corpse.

I felt pretty worn out. That nightmare had taken a toll on me. It feels weird to know that I might die, but I don't want to go without at least trying to survive.

I lived my last life slaving away but for what? Study, find a good job. Throughout my life, every time I tried to do something for myself, whenever I tried to follow my dream, it felt like the world was dead set against me. But this world...

...It's really pretty. Talking to plants like this, seeing the nature and feeling this sunlight... even yesterday's market with people from so many places being together happily... I want to stay here more.

I want to try living too.

To die in a dark forest all alone... I have to change that fate no matter what. I want to live. For that, I must be ready to do whatever it takes. No matter how shitty this life is and no matter how much this world is against me, I will survive this time and show the world. I will be happy this time. I'll show myself.

So when it was finally time for Risor to come to the garden, I walked with determination.

My feet tapped against the garden path. A breeze blew against my long hair and ruffled my long skirt.

Pushing away the bangs from my face, my eyes landed on a man crouching by the flowers, and a small smile tinted my lips.

Found you.