" Tears are words that need to be written."

- Paulo Coelho

✰✰✰

It was to be, the 8th would be the AWOL date. Frank managed to snag a bed beside Hazel's, and the happy trio turned to four and Frank made quite the impression on Amelia when she had to change the bandage on his butt. It was quite funny, but Amelia had seen it all before and had laughed it off. It was the least of her worries with Mr. Frank Perconte.

Frank integrated in with Hazel and Jem perfectly and Amelia knew she could always find the group together doing something around the hospital. The group talked on and on about everything under the sun, and they were the group that attracted other wounded soldiers over to get in on conversations. It brought a bit of light to everyone's dark days in the hospital.

Jem always wound sing along to the tune of the songs on the radio, but his favorite was I Don't Want to Set The World On Fire by The Ink Spots.

And he was good, really good.

He had that soulful, rasp to his voice, like Joe Toye's and Jem always had the goofiest smile spread across his face as he sang the little tune. But it warmed Hazel's heart, and it made everything at the hospital seem less depressing as it normally was, with the amount of wounded and death that walked like ghosts through the halls.

That night, the 4th, 4 days before the AWOL date, Hazel, Jem and Frank were sat on their beds, doing their own thing for the evening. Hazel had finally sat down to write a letter to her mother, to finally tell her what happened and to let her know she was okay, that she was alive and well and healing.

Most importantly, happy. She was closer to God, her faith and she felt better, better than she had in the beginning of being in the hospital.

Mom,

I hope this letter sees you well. I'm writing from a hospital near Epinal, France. If that second sentence scared you, don't be, I promise you. I am well. I was wounded in Bastogne, by one of the shellings that we received daily, but I am okay. I've been healing up better than they thought I would and I've been eating and drinking water and sleeping the best I can, and I've been warm. My nurse, Amelia Beckett has taken the best care of me that I feel I could've ever gotten and she's become my friend while I've been here. We've talked for hours before and she's just like one of the girls.

Being here has made me respect the medics even more than I already did, seeing what they deal with, what they have to go through, all of it. I honestly can't imagine having to do their job, they're all so brave and absolutely fearless, I admire them all so much. Over the time I've been here the past few weeks, I've gotten to know a man by the name Jem Rossi, from Pennsylvania. He got wounded just like I did but he's in the 82nd and we've really bonded over so many things. He struggled in the beginning, just like me, but we helped each other out a lot, trying to get ourselves back on our feet and moving even if it took a bit, and we're already seeing huge differences, good differences. It's a nice feeling to have a friend to go through things like this with you. And then guess who showed up, Frank Perconte!! He took a bullet in the butt in Foy supposedly and ended up in the hospital before being transported here. I had never been happier to see an Easy Company man walking down the hall with a bullet wound in his butt. I swear you'd love to talk to the man, you'd get along well.

My wound is healing fast, the stitches in my side are healing everything up together and I'm feeling better. I suffered from blood lose, but now I've never felt better, sitting here. I just feel better and I can tell. The wound made me really start to think about God and my morals and I feel closer to him than ever before. I feel like it was his plan for me, eventually, because I helped Jem from dying really, from wanting to rot away, I've helped Amelia feel better when she can't help herself, and I've helped Frank feel more secure here. I don't entirely know if it was fate, but being here, has made me come to certain realizations about the war. The war is meant to dehumanize you, make you become a robot to think certain things, think a certain way, do a certain thing a certain way. But they never told you what happens and goes through your mind. And it has helped me. It has helped me more than I can ever imagine. I feel like I'm finally finding myself, through this wound, if that isn't strange enough? To find myself in a wound which felt like it would take my very life from me. I would've never thought in all my life that getting a wound that took my life from me would help me find it again and find this sense of peace with what I'm going through. It's all so strange, such an odd feeling, but I've talked to Amelia about it, more times than you can imagine and she said it's rare for some people but they come out a better person after their wounds. She said I'd be one of them! :) And that made me smile.

Now, I haven't really told anyone this, but is it possible to feel this weird, odd sensation when you're away from someone for a while. Someone who was just constantly there and now they aren't? I don't know, it sounds kinda dumb, but over the past few months, I've just started to admire Joe Liebgott more. I don't know, mom, he's always been my friend, someone I can trust, someone who just gets me and doesn't judge me, and I don't know, if I'm starting to feel that he's more than a best friend? I don't know, I'm scared of my emotions and what I feel since I feel everything as deeply as I do. He's just been on my mind a lot...I don't know. I guess it's maybe the way he's cared for me over the past few months. And I know people always look at the beauty of a person but he's much more than that mom, so much more. He has a good soul even if he doesn't believe it himself. He just always makes me so happy, and I never have a dull moment with him. Just knowing he's somewhere else and he's not there, I guess it makes me kinda sad.

I'll think about it all, I've had a lot of time to over the past few weeks here in the hospital. I wish I could talk to you on the telephone and you could give me all the advice you have back to me, but I know we can't. Please stay safe for me and try to eat some more cookies when you can, they always make my day brighter. And remember, mom, I'm okay, I promise!!

Love,

Your daughter, Hazel

Hazel slowly folded the letter and put it into the envelope and sat back her heart pounding, cheeks aglow and Joe Liebgott's face like a banner hanging up in her brain.

Hazel gently touched her red hot cheeks and let out a shaky breath.

She thought of Paris.

How Paris had been, every moment in Paris with Joe. Her face warmed even more and suddenly there was this ache to have him sitting by her side, giving her that small smirk, letting her talk about the stars to him. Hazel gently placed a hand on her heart and felt it racing. Just thinking about Joe did that to her. Maybe this hospital bed was going to make her realize more things than she thought.

On the 5th, Hazel was in a fog, her mind consumed by Joe Liebgott, the man from San Fransisco she told all her secrets to and trusted, the one who teased her and comforted her, the one who listened to her talk about anything. She didn't talk much at breakfast as Frank and Jem went on and on about different things, even talking about some of the sports games and such. Hazel wasn't even paying attention.

Her poor little heart, sagged in her chest, as if a frown had been put on its face.

Hazel wished her mother were here or Catherine and Lizzie were here so she could ask them why she felt the way she did, why her heart ached.

Curse her stupid emotions.

Hazel had thought about Joe the rest of the day, her mind trying to tell herself it was just because she missed him so much and that she would have to get used to a few days with his jokes and his grin and his fluffy hair. She told herself that was why, sucking down the emotions and keeping them away as if they were some secret file.

So going to bed that night wasn't any different than the rest, lying down on a warm hospital bed, with the soft glow from the hallway escaping under the door as Jem and Frank's quiet snores filled the room, as well as the multiple other men who occupied the other side of the room. Hazel felt herself falling asleep before she even knew rest was coming her way.

But that's when the nightmares would start, they had been subtle at first, like a retelling of D-Day or back in Bastogne with Private Julian. But other days, they were filled with horrifying dreams with the men and women of Easy Company. Dreams where it would be people doing something they'd never do. But it would be reruns, Sobel leaving her behind, to freeze out in the bitter cold. She always blacked out in the end and woke up in sweats, thankfully not disturbing Jem who slept soundly in his own bed. And each time she shot up out of the bed, it was like the stitches in her chest were yanking apart, and a burning exploded over her. But they were always fine in the end.

But that night, the dream wasn't a nightmare.

It was anything but a nightmare.

It was Catherine and Lizzie.

Hazel in the dream felt her eyes fill with tears, the two women were sitting at a table in their Class A's, with Hazel there as well and the 3 of them were all talking together, their voices a mixture of laughter and blubber together, but it made Hazel feel like crying.

Then her dream faded into San Fransisco.

She was looking up at the Golden Gate Bridge, the sun glistening across it and beside her was Catherine and Lizzie. They wore beautiful flowing dresses and their hair was clean and their faces were make-up free, just like in the war and they looked as beautiful as they always did and their smiles were bright, lighting up the entire city. They looked so happy too, where their eyes even shined. And their smiles were more genuine than ever before, and they were practically glowing.

Literally glowing.

It made Hazel tear up.

She didn't realize how much she'd miss those two women. They were her rocks, they were what kept Hazel stable. And now they weren't here, and Hazel had never missed them more.

Catherine was like a mother with her natural leadership instincts and warm advice and then Lizzie with her caring touches, soft eyes and the jokes that even made the toughest eggs easy to crack. Hazel's eyes slowly opened in the night, as she stared at the dark ceiling. She slowly sat up, and felt tears roll down her cheeks.

Big, fat tears.

The things she didn't want seeping out of her eyes while here.

But there they were.

Hazel pushed a hand to her mouth.

It wasn't a nightmare, it was reality, a reality Hazel wished, to just see them happy again - both of them.

She just wanted them happy.

And there they were the saddest they'd ever been and because of her. Her heart ached, a throbbing ache. She missed them more than she could ever imagine.

This stupid wound.

The stupid Germans.

Stupid everything.

If she had been in her foxhole, she wouldn't have been wounded, she'd be sitting with them right now, she'd be with them right now, she wouldn't be in this stupid hospital, with this stupid bandage wrapped around her chest, holding her organs in place. If only she hadn't been that stupid. A small cry escaped her lips, trembling from her mouth as she broke. She clamped a hand tighter to her mouth, forcing herself to swallow the cries that bubbled from her lips, telling her self to stop being weak.

Hazel, trembling, slowly stood from her bed and walked with shaky knees to the bathroom where she turned on the light and collapsed to the floor, sobs racking her entire body. Loud, anguish filled sobs, full of heart break escaping her mouth.

It hurt.

It all hurt so much.

Everything.

Every painful memory.

How much had she cried here?

How much had she let herself cry because she just couldn't deal with it all?

Too many times. Too many times for her own good. She shouldn't have though. Let herself break this emotionally. But she figured that's why the hospital was here. To let you rethink all that and become better in the end. But it sucked. It all sucked horribly.

Hazel slowly looked up, the static of the lightbulb burning above her. Hazel sniffled to herself before slowly standing to her feet and looking up towards it. She reached forward and flipped the switch.

It turned dark.

Completely dark, except for the window where faint starlight filtered in. Hazel flipped the switch back on and watched the light come back on. She did it a few more times before leaving the light out. She turned to the window, wiping her cheeks and sniffling quietly to herself and leaned up against the window, letting out a shaky sigh.

This stupid war.

This war had taken so much from her. She didn't know what pain was, true pain. Pain like this.

Sure, as an 8 year old, she didn't know pain would last a lifetime from then. She thought her dad would come back. But he wasn't. He wouldn't. And now here she was, experiencing an even worse pain that.

Was there worse pain than that?

Hazel shut her eyes and then looked towards the stars. And she felt a comfort. A soft and gentle comfort as if her mother was standing by her side watching with her. Hazel expected to look to her left to see Joe sitting there with a goofy smile, shining eyes and eager ears, as his jostled his knee against hers to annoy her.

But instead she was greeted with the cold darkness.

But what was the light without darkness, like the moonlight that streamed in now?

The moon wouldn't shine as bright as it did if it weren't surrounded by the dark.

The next morning Jem had slept in and Frank and Hazel had gone down breakfast that morning and instead sat in the comfy chairs that looked out towards the little town below. Hazel hadn't touched her food and that's when Frank looked at her.

" Oh, no, you're eating," he said placing down his plate and picking up here's, " I promise you it's better than that Army shit they fed us." Hazel let a soft laugh pass her lips.

" I'm okay, Frank really." she said but Frank saw past her eyes as she met his.

" Something bothering you?" he said, " Besides your wound." Hazel softly gulped and met his eyes.

" If I had been in my foxhole, Frank I wouldn't be here." she whispered softly. Frank's eyes softened.

" Hazel, you can't blame yourself, it's war, it's bound to happen to anyone." Frank said softly. Hazel forced a smile.

" I was the little birdie that thought she could, you know? Spread my wings, take flight, move on, continue to fight. But I guess if you try so hard and get nowhere you eventually fall down." she said.

" But you get up again," Frank said to her, " we fell, but we'll be back on our feet on our way to Easy in 2 days. 2 days! We'll be seeing them in two days." Hazel's heart felt warm as she crossed her feet over one another.

" You're strong, Hazel, you always have been," Frank said to her, " Bill and George, they always said you were, and I've always believed it. This wound..." he pointed to her chest, " it's one of those cones you have to swear around in the road, like the ones in Downtown Chicago. But then you pass it, ya know?" Hazel watched him.

" Physically I guess," Hazel whispered," but mentally, it's like a film, over and over. It hurts."

" Hey, hey, hey, it's okay," Frank said as he gently stood and sat beside her, wrapping an arm over her shoulder, " it will now, but then you make good memories right? That go over the bad ones." Hazel suddenly smiled. Grace had said that back in Aldbourne. The good overpowered the bad.

" Yeah," Hazel whispered, as she leaned against Frank's shoulder, " the good overpowers the bad."

" Yeah, sure does, doesn't it?" Frank said and Hazel smiled.

" Thank you, Frank, for being here for me." she said glancing up towards him.

" Eh what do you know, I knew some Italian guy like me would be capable of comforting someone one day." he said and Hazel laughed. The two sat together the rest of the morning together and by 11, Hazel had eaten. Hazel eventually took to sitting on the window sill during the afternoon, looking out the hospital window to where the children in the local school played games together, throwing a ball back and forth. Hazel felt a small smile fall on her lips.

" Edelweiss, edelweiss..." Hazel sang softly, her voice soft and pure, filled with more emotion that she felt she could ever compose coming out of her mouth, " Every morning you greet me, small and white, clean and bright, you look happy to meet me..."

" Blossom of snow, may you bloom and grow.." Hazel sang gently, watching the children in the snow, her eyes filling with sadness, " bloom and grow forever, edelweiss, edelweiss, bless my homeland forever...." Hazel felt something catch in her throat and looked down quickly and squeezed her eyes shut.

" You have a nice voice," a voice said and Hazel looked over her shoulder to see it was Amelia there. Hazel let out a soft sigh and then smiled gently.

" Thanks, Amelia." Hazel said. Amelia gave a soft smile watching how emotional she looked just singing.

" Where'd you learn it?" Amelia asked as she walked forward and wrapped an arm around Hazel's shoulder.

" My mom," Hazel said, " my dad use to sing it to her, but now my mom would just sing it and I guess it's just a way to comfort me. She always sang it to me before bed when I was little." Amelia gave a gentle smile towards Hazel.

" Your mother sounds amazing," Amelia said and Hazel felt her throat tighten.

" She is," Hazel said, " she's the best mother anyone can ever ask for." Amelia smiled at Hazel and watched her suck down a cry.

" Sorry," Hazel said wiping at her eye, " I miss her, she was good at comforting people."

" Aw Hazel," Amelia said squeezing her shoulder tightly, and giving her a warm side hug, " we at least you get your bandage off today." Hazel immediately shot out of the hug and looked at Amelia.

" Today?" Hazel asked with wide eyes, tears gone. Amelia nodded with a grin.

" Yep, you'll be set." she said. Hazel smiled and eagerly jumped off the bed ledge and followed Amelia into the little room in the back where once the bandage was removed a few of the doctors could make sure the wound wasn't infected.

But when Hazel looked at it, it looked anything but. Hazel slowly sat up and felt the wound, it didn't hurt like it did, maybe a slight dull throb, but it was far from the pain it was when she had gotten the wound inflicted and she felt for her, it had been much more of an upward mental battle with her brain. The stitches were removed but Hazel was too kicked up on adrenaline to even recognize the slight pain that gave with each stitch that came out. It felt so good to not have a bandage bound around her waist.

" Guys," Hazel said as she stepped into the room where she knew Frank and Jem would be. The two looked up from their books. Hazel showed her wound and both their eyes widened.

" You got it off!" Frank cheered jumping up from his bed like a small child, as Jem threw down his book and popped up out of the bed like popcorn. Frank reached her first and clasped her into a warm a hug as Hazel grinned excitedly. Then she hugged Jem close a smile on her face. She pulled back as she looked at the two of them.

" How are you two?" she asked.

" Bandage was removed last night, a bit hard to sit, but I'm ready to bust out," Frank said. Hazel glanced at Jem.

" Bandage was just removed, slight limp, but it's better than letting my two halves of my brain go at it." Jem said and the trio laughed.

" The 8th, we plan on the 8th." she said, " I've already got Amelia figuring out where the 82nd and where the 101st have gone - she has intel from her head surgeon. We'll get back to our companies."

" You sound like one of those super heroes in those comic books," Jem said, " giving out all those orders and stuff." Hazel laughed lightly.

" We gotta sike up, we're getting out of here," she said with a smile on her face as she lowered herself onto the bed.

" Or are you just excited to see Joe?" Frank called to her and she launched her book at his head. Frank stared at her with a smirk.

" I'll remember that, Tiny," Frank said with a laugh as he ducked into the bathroom. Hazel found Jem smirking at her.

" Who's Joe?" he asked.

" No one..."

" Oh right, I forgot..."

" Don't look at me like that." Hazel grumbled.

" Like what?" Jem said with a slight laugh.

" You know what Jem," she said as Jem laughed and leaned back.

" I'll give you my address to write to me when this whole thing is over, I wanna see how this plays out and how it ends," Jem said with a winning smirk her way and Hazel groaned to herself.

" He's my best friend and that's it," Hazel said, " that's it."

" Usually someone says that's it, and then goes and kisses the other, so yeah I'm going to give you my address so you can write me." he said with a laugh and Hazel narrowed her eyes.

" You suck," she said.

" I'm a mildly wonderful human being, what could you be talking about?" Jem said and Hazel just shook her head, smirking lightly.

Hazel slowly leaned back against her bed and let out a shaky sigh, staring up at the ceiling, her mind consumed by that dork, with his fluffy hair, his brown eyes and that stupid smirk.

Hazel let out a sigh and shut her eyes.

She'd worry about that later, right now, she needed to get out of this hospital and go AWOL.

✰✰✰

hi! another few chapters will be out! and i know it is a bit later, but i wanted to try and get some out for you all :) and just a note, i know the song edelweiss, was not a song during this point of time, but it is an alternate history genre book, and i felt the song fit, so that's why i used it, i thought it'd be cute!! :) thanks for reading!