Trigger Warning: Anxiety, yelling, self deprecating thoughts

We ate lunch together with Diya's constant babble in the background.

It was nice.

Scratch that it was until an idiotic man showed up.

Well, you can guess who it was.

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*Emma POV*

It was Enzo.

This dude has got to stop meeting me like this.

Eh, whatever, we're twins or something, so I guess I have to be nice to him.

"What," I said.

He stared at my face for a moment, before saying "What happened to your nose?"

My nose was currently covered in some gauze, which im pretty sure made me look like I had a nose job.

Well, this put me in an interesting position. I could tell the truth and be laughed at (my anxiety says no), or I could make things more interesting. It was always amusing to see these boys being overprotective.

Choosing the latter, I shrugged my shoulders.

"Come with me."

Well, gosh, Diggity darn, just when I was going to have a nice lunch.

Well, missing school > food.

Just kidding, food is better than anything.

I gave Diya and Hollis an apologetic smile before following Enzo, who had taken off already.

We ended up walking into the cafeteria, which was deafeningly loud.

Some time ago, I had caught up to Enzo, and he grabbed my wrist and dragged me over to the table in the middle.

Jeez, I just wanted to sit; what the heck was Enzo doing.

Enzo steered me towards the other brother I didn't want to see right now.

Antonio. Why the heck did he bring me to Antonio?

Enzo gestured towards my nose before saying,

"Non mi dice cosa è successo, ma sembra rotto." (She won't tell me what happened, but it looks broken.)

Antonio said something to the rest of the people at his table before nodding at Enzo and walking with us.

I trailed behind, wondering again where we were going.

We were now in the foyer, and I was still wonder-

Oh.

Oh no.

Oh no, no, no no, no.

This was really bad.

We were leaving school in the middle of the day.

Shit. Shit. Shit. I was in deep shit.

I started walking even slower, and that must have pissed off Antonio because he grabbed my wrist and started pulling me after him.

What is it with this dude and grabbing my wrist.

He was speed walking across the parking lot, which meant I was practically running after him.

His grip kept getting tighter and tighter until it was borderline painful.

And that's when I had enough of this.

"Antonio."

No response.

"Antonio," I tried again a little louder.

Still no response.

"ANTONIO" I downright yelled.

He turned around and glared at me,

"Shut. Up. We need to get your nose fixed up, and unless you tell us what happened, be quiet."

Antonio's grip got even tighter, and it was actually painful now.

Well, if he's not going to listen to words, there's only one thing to do.

I snaked my arm behind me to the side pocket of my backpack and grabbed the metal water bottle there.

Once I had successfully grabbed it, I raised it up and swung it down right on Antonio's right shoulder, the arm that was holding me.

"Ouch! What the hell what that for Emma?"

"Well, if you weren't being such an idiot and holding my hand super tight, you would have noticed I was being hurt. Didn't you get punched for this literally like a week ago?"

"First of all, it wasn't a week," he growled out, "and second, you're literally crazy. Just get in the car."

I stared at him. Did he really expect me to get into the car after he just insulted me?

"Please"

I smiled and got into the back of the car, and absentmindedly tapped the pane of glass. I assumed we were waiting for Enzo because I'm pretty sure he wouldn't miss out on a chance to skip school.

"Can you stop that" he snapped at me.

"Stop...what?"

"That drumming thing you're doing on the window."

"Well, sorry, I like music." I rolled my eyes. The audacity.

"Well, that's a new thing we learned about you," A new voice cut in as they slid into the passenger seat.

I tensed when I heard that. I didn't mean to tell them so much so fast. I just had a giant mouth. Damn it.

I couldn't get too attached to these people. They would just end up leaving me as everyone else did. No one stayed.

I put my hand down and stared out the window, wondering what was happening. My nose didn't look that bad, did it?

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We reached home a few minutes later, and my heart was beating out of my chest.

What's the worst that could happen?

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A lot.

A lot could happen.

Currently, I was sitting on the living room couch in a near state of shock.

The rest of my brothers were spread out around the house, but I could hear the rhythmic thump, thump of someone moving around or punching something.

Dammit, this was all my fault.

If only I had told the truth at school.

Well, I suppose I should rewind.

When we had gotten home, I plopped down on the living room couch and waited patiently, figuring something was going to happen.

I was correct in my assumptions because mere minutes later, a man dressed in a 3 piece suit came over to me and asked,

"Are you Mrs.Lopez?"

"Er, I guess?"

"Would you please follow me? Mr. Alessandro is requesting you."

Oh crap, Alessandro wanted to see me?

"The rest of your brothers are already inside the study." the assistant said as he ushered me inside the study.

Well, that makes things one hundred times worse.

I stared at the ground as I entered the study and looked at the wooden floors. They were quite pretty.

"Emma, please sit down."

I moved over to one of the couches but was once again steered to the chair desk. Sitting across from me was Alessandro, and next to me was Enzo. Well, atleast I had one person on my side.

"Can you look up, please?" Alessandro said.

I slowly looked up, staring at a spot just over Alessandro's face.

I heard a sharp intake of breath before the boys around the room exploded into commentary,

'What the FUCK??"

"What the HELL happened??"

"Jesus Christ, what the fuck?"

"Emma, how did that happen?"

Still feeling annoyed at Antonio, I waved my hand in a nonsensical manner and simply said

"Stuff"

"What stuff Emma?" came Alessandro's voice.

"I'm not going to tell you."

"Emma." the warning tone that Alessandro used was not missed by me. However, im not going to tell some people I just met that I walked into a row of lockers. I would get way too embarrassed.

"I'm. Not. Telling. You. Now may I go?" I reiterated.

"Did someone hurt you?"

"Of course not. Now may I go?" I asked again.

Alessandro looked me in the eye once more before waving his hand to dismiss me.

"Woah Woah Woah, you're just going to let her go?" Antonio asked.

Of course, it was Antonio.

"Yes. you have a problem?"

"Of course I have a problem, her nose looks almost broken, and you're not going to do anything?"

"Antonio, in case you didn't realize, you live under my roof, and my roof my rules."

"Fine," he huffed before making a dramatic exit.

Yes! I was free.

Just as I was about to exit the study, Alessandro called, "I'm going to talk to you later, Emma."

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*Emma POV*

I couldn't breathe.

I vaguely registered the soft plushness of my bed underneath, but I couldn't.

It was blurry

So blurry

Was I dying?

I couldn't breathe.

No.

No.

I couldn't be back.

I can't breathe.

My chest hurts.

I can't.

I can't.

"HELP" I wanted to scream.

But no one would come.

No one ever came.

I was shaking on top of my bed, not being able to breathe with a looming sense of dread coming over me.

They were going to hurt me.

I knew I couldn't trust them.

God, why didn't you just tell them, Emma.

Why do you always fuck up Emma.

No.

Nothing was happening.

I'm okay.

Just a panic attack.

You know what to do, Emma. Come on.

5 things you can see, Emma.

I tried.

I really did.

Everything looked blurry like I was looking through a fish lens.

I felt underwater, trapped by my thoughts.

I couldn't breathe.

What was happening?

I could feel my tears streaming down my face, but I couldn't stop them.

I was helpless.

It was like I was watching someone else go through this.

Why couldn't this just end?

I needed to breathe.

I can't breathe.

I could see the small black dots clouding my vision.

Suddenly two large hands grabbed my arms, which had unknowingly climbed up to my throat.

I looked up, and through my teary eyes and kaleidoscope view of the world, I could barely make out a pair of eyes.

What color are they, Emma?

Focus Emma.

Breathe Emma.

They were my eyes?

Was Enzo here?

It couldn't be Enzo.

"EMMA"

I couldn't

I couldn't breathe.

I couldn't listen.

"EMMA, LOOK AT ME."

Once again, I was looking at those hazel eyes that mirrored mine.

My lips moved, but no words came out.

I couldn't breathe.

"Emma shhh," they soothingly whispered, "I need you to do something for me, okay?"

I nodded my head. I could do this.

"What are 5 things you can see, Emma."

I shook my head.

I couldn't breathe.

I couldn't see.

"Emma, c'mon, I need you to do this for me, okay? You can point c'mon shhh," the person soothingly whispered.

You can do this, Emma.

5 things you can see, Emma.

I pointed at the bookshelf in the corner of my room.

"That's good Emma, can you do 4 more?"

With every object I pointed at, I could feel my windpipe opening up and the weight on my chest lifting.

But I still wasn't normal.

"Okay, good job Emma. What are 4 things you can touch?"

I touched my shirt.

I touched his shirt.

I touched his watch.

I touched my blanket.

Each touch helped me breathe more.

"Alright, Emma, can you say 3 things you can hear?"

I listened and could vaguely hear music somewhere.

"M-music," I croaked out, my throat dry.

The person in front of me let out a relieved breath.

The world still was blurry.

Why was it blurry.

The person broke me out of my thoughts, "what are 2 other things?"

"Um," I whispered, "I hear my fan. And...and I hear your breathing."

My body shook, my head finally breaking surface.

I wasn't underwater anymore.

I could see.

I could breathe.

My hands trailed from the hands holding mine up to the hazel eyes that mimicked mine.

My head jerked in surprise.

"Alessandro?"



Hey y'all

So...i haven't updated in a while i just had no motivation to write.

fun fact: i dont re read my writing because it's super cringe to me, so if there's a mistake please point it out

also this writing style is different for the panic attack because i just wrote down what goes through my mind + a few extra things.

anywho, anything/anyone yall really wanna see in the next chapter?

and the people have spoken, there will be a trans character soon, so if you're trans please tell me how that went for you i dont want to portray someone as something they're not yk?

love y'all stay safe, eat your meals, and wear your masks!