Sinking



Sadness

Anger

Repulsion

But it is all for me. Her eyes, her voice, her scars never leave my head. She thought my love for her was a lie... she thought my heart falling for her was false. But I couldn't blame her for that. She knows the history of my past; she knows the vile things my family would do.

My father was despicable. He cast me off the day I was born and pretended I never existed. My mother saw me as a bastard, a child she could never love or want. My stepfather was the only one who took me under his care. Although his methods were cruel, he showed me he cared. The things he did was so that I could be strong enough to defeat my demons.

"Because of you... I have been trying to decide between my family and you. Do you know how hard that is? But now I know that all this time you have had a plan of your own. You wanted me to fall in love with you just so you can take your revenge on me and my family. Because you wanted to do something that your family couldn't. so explain to me Blaze... WHY?!"

I caused her so much pain and self-torture. I knew the pain she was going through each day. Trying to decide if I or her family was more worth it. but for my own selfish reasons, I lied to her. I didn't tell her the truth she deserved to know I and for that reason alone.

I lost her.

It's only been 5 days since I lost the only happiness I had and every day has been torture. It was the worst pain I had ever felt. Stronger than my mothers and father grief, stronger than my father's abandonment, stronger than my uncle's abuse. Her hatred towards me is worse than a bullet to the chest.

"what are you doing man?" I ignored Cole and kept my eyes focussed. She looked effortlessly beautiful. Every time she smiled my heart jumped. Giving me the shot I need to feel alive.

"Nothing." I had to make sure she was safe. I promised her I would leave her family and Jace alone. But I never promised that I wouldn't make sure she is ok.

"Blaze you need to sort this out. You're killing yourself!" Cole scolded but I knew by the concern in his voice. That he is just caring. "when is the last time you showered? When is the last time you ate?"

I rolled my eyes and trained my eyes as I saw her move and walk towards her family members. "you need to talk to her Blaze."

"Do you not think I have not tried?!" His eyes widened and slight fear. "Do you know how it feels? Seeing your only happiness be terrified of you? How do you think it feels when I see her pure hatred? It fucking kills me." He went to say something, but I stood up slowly stalking towards him.

"You know nothing about me nor my pain. She was everything to me. I fucking loved her. I wanted to spend my entire life with her. I didn't care about revenge or my uncle. I only cared about her. And now I have lost her forever." He saw my pain. He saw the aching dagger pierced through my heart. He saw my grief.

He felt it.

"I- there is something I need to tell you, Blaze." My eyes shot to his quickly, so quickly it was faster than a bullet.

"What?!" I asked snappily.

"Your uncle." I narrowed my eyes and clicked my jaw.

"What about the fucking dead bastard?" I wanted to keep looking at her. Admiring her smile, her beauty, her dress.

"Blaze I don't know how else to tell you this, but it is something you need to know."

"Just fucking spit, it out Cole! Stop beating around the bush."

"Blaze." He started. "Your uncle is alive."



Running away was something I always dreamed of. Being able to be free and live my life the way I want to. When I was little grandma Maria and Grandma Laura always taught me to stand my values and be true to my heart. But as time grew and the world was colder everyone around me forgot their values and morals. I was so bubble wrapped and protected that my naiveness fooled me. My brothers aided me with even the tiniest scratch and my father and uncles would just about anything to keep me from the real world. My great grandfather was the only one who was lenient with me. Telling me I reminded him of someone he once knew.

I vowed to myself that I would keep my promise for my grandmothers. But when I was taken and kidnapped at 10 years, everything changed. I no longer could have dreams, I could no longer have freedom, and I can no longer have happiness or love. When I was 10, everything I thought I knew was a lie. I had retaught myself everything. I no longer showed my bubbly self, I showed a shadow of who I once was. I didn't smile and laugh with happiness I did it by force.

From then on, I didn't dream of becoming married and having a family of my own. I dreamed of being free from chains and finally having solitude. I no longer wanted love and warmth, I wanted to be alone. Because loving someone is just another chain, another burden.

"I now pronounce you as husband and wife." The couple kissed and smiled as the crowd applaud. Except me.

I was a mere statue watching from a distance as my brother and Rose sold the lives away. I wanted to think that my brother was marrying someone he met by fate. Like at a night club or café or something. But no... it was by force.

"I am so happy! My baby boy is so grown up." Mamma kissed Johns cheek by force. John grimaced slightly but knew better than to decline mammas hugs.

"Eh, I guess now no more night clubs or hot chicks. But that suits you, I guess. You were no fun anyway." Juan teased lightly twirling a cigarette in his hands just before mamma snatched it.

"don't worry bud! There is still plenty of time for me to hang out with my little bro." John wrapped his arm around Juan slightly chocking him.

"And I will always be here! so no need to stress." Diego sang joining in the boys roughhousing game.

Rose giggle while mamma and papa looked more than displeased. "Boys none of this! Must I remind you that you are here at a formal event?" Papa scolded.

The boys separated looking like scolded little boys. My brothers have always been really close. When I was younger, they sometimes included me in my little schemes but eventually, we all drifted away.

I drifted away.

"you boys causing mayhem already?" Alex asked smugly. "How do you feel John? Do you feel like a man?"

"I do now that I have her by my side," John said softly looking at rose lovingly. I remember when Blaze looked at me like that. He always loved staring at me no matter how uncomfortable and nervous it made me. His daring icy blue eyes did wonders when it came to the nervous system.

"well, I am glad you are happy, this is a lifetime opportunity. Nothing better to spend it with the one you love the most." Luke spoke.

"Yes, as I recall, marrying Breanna was the best day of my life." Mamma smiled up to Papa holding his hand tightly. She then turned her head to me and the rest of us. "I can only now hope I can see all my babies one day get married."

"Yeah, not for me."

"yeah no." rolling her eyes she looked at me with a smirk. "what about you angel?" My brothers and papa narrowed their eyes while my uncles looked mortified.

"No."

They relaxed and untensed their shoulders and eventually, the rest of the family joined us. "what's that on your wrist?" Rose pointed out. I looked down to where she was looking, and my eyes widened.

The sleeve of my cardigan rolled up showing the metal heavy band locked across my wrist. My skin around it was red and raw, and I could see dried blood resting on the edges. "a bracelet."

I pulled my sleeve down but papas and my brother's eyes never left my sleeve. "are you sure it's a br-."

I looked into my brother's eyes. Then to my parents, eventually I looked into every family member eyes. Trying to remember the past. I remember not to long ago I felt guilty lying. I felt guilty betraying them.

Now I feel nothing.

"Sweetheart! Time for your dress fitting!" Mamma pulled me away from the video which I pouted too. I loved watching Papa and Uncles train, I loved trying to copy them but I wish I could join them. It looked like fun. I didn't care about dresses or looking pretty.

I just want to be a superhero like my papa.

My attention was pulled when mamma showed me a bunch of flowy and puffy pink and purple dresses. "What about this one?"

I scrunched my nose at the pink floral dress. "Can I wear something black?" I asked not hiding my disgust. Mamma sighed and kissed my forehead.

"Sweetheart, you know that wouldn't be right for the youngest mafia princess to wear black." I couldn't help myself but pout.

The boys are all allowed to wear black... why can't any of the girls. "But why mamma?" I asked tilting my head. She smiled softly and sat me on her lap.

"Because in this world we have rules. And to keep my little princess safe, I have to make sure you are safe."

"But mamma, if I joined papa. Then I would become a superhero! Then you wouldn't have to worry about my safety. I would be strong enough to protect us all!" I couldn't help but smile as I daydreamed. I knew most 10-year-old dreamt about becoming a princess but I dreamed about becoming someone as strong as papa.

I wanted to be strong.

I wanted to be powerful.

I wanted to be independent.

"You are already are so strong baby girl. Because you know what makes you strong? It doesn't matter about how physically strong you are or how much money or power you have."

"Then what mamma?"

"It matters about the people around you. Angelina my princess, you have a family and people who love you to pieces. And with this, you are one of the most powerful human beings on the planet."

I wrapped my arms around mamma and hugged her as tightly as my little arms could. "I love you, mamma!"

"I love you too my baby girl!"

"Mamma where is Lina?" Juan yelled loudly running into the room.

"She is right here." Mamma smiled. And just like lightning all three of the triplets were in the room.

"Lina!" Diego came pulled me off of mamma and picked me up. I rolled my eyes and folded my arms. Ever since my brothers are hitting stupid period it is like they need to show off their superhuman strength every 10 minutes. But it is ok, I am getting used to it.

"Put me down, you big fat goat!" Diego laughed then passed me to John. I glared at John irritated, wishing I had the power to burn people alive with my eyes. I wish I was as strong as my brothers. Then they would wish they would never mess with me.

"I hate you, you big fat buffoons." They all chuckled and shook their heads. John still not willing all contemplating putting me down.

"We love you too our little Lina."

"Ok, everyone! Time for photos."