Brynn groaned, scrunching her already closed eyes shut. Her face was smushed into a pillow, morning breath hitting her dead on as she went to close her mouth, cringing at the bitter taste.

She opened her eyes slowly, blinking the sleepiness out a few times. Her eyes caught her right hand laying limply on the pillow beside her head, the long-sleeved school shirt she wore becoming noticeable as the fact that she was still in her entire school uniform, minus the blazer, became evident.

She breathed out, shuffling around a bit and noticing that her bed sheets felt a little different. Lifting herself up a little, she looked downwards to see a fluffy, black towel underneath her instead of the usual white sheets.

And then she remembered yesterday.

She sat up on her knees suddenly, the duvet slipping off her shoulders, and flinched at a voice. "Morning."

The girl turned around to the voice on her right, her behind falling off the feet they were sat on and making contact with the towel.

Zayne sat on her desk chair, flicking through her English book.

Brynn's posture straightened up and she pulled the duvet over her lap to play with, "oh, hi."

Zayne's eyes flickered from the final pages of the book, to Brynn, then to the book before he closed it and placed it back on the desk gently

His eyes trailed back to Brynn, who shifted uncomfortably and fisted the duvet in her hands.

Zayne was still in his work clothes from yesterday, the only slightly different part about it was the crease in his blazer on the upper left shoulder. Where Brynn laid her head. Which she is now only just really taking in.

She wanted to physically fold in on herself because that happened. And this is where Zayne tells her she is never to do that again.

And that would affect her. Not that she wanted to do it again, or maybe she actually did, or maybe it was one of the only places that felt properly safe to her.

Either way, she wished to avoid this talk.

"How did you sleep?" Zayne asked, at the usual montonal pitch he always radiated.

Brynn nodded, simultaneously blinking some more sleep away and answering rather fast. "Fine, yeah, alright, thank you."

Zayne hummed, waiting sixteen seconds before he stood up. He picked the chair up from the back and placed it back in its original position, then letting go. He watched Brynn with plain eyes, as Brynn watched him, or more specifically his hand as it made its way back to the back of the chair and straightening it so it perfectly aligned with the front of the desk.

The man cleared his throat, bringing Brynn's attention back to his face.

"I will be going downstairs then," he announced, straightening the creases in his blazer from sitting down.

Brynn nodded and whispered, "okay," doing her best to not sidetrack her attention to the really interesting fabric of the duvet.

She was waiting for him to leave, to exit her bedroom, so she could lean back into the sheets and stay silent for a while. She wanted to be silent for a while, collect her thoughts or even close her eyes for a few minutes before the crippling lower abdomen pain came back.

Zayne made a slight movement, which Brynn assumed to be one of leaving. Almost immediately, she downcasted her eyes only to have to bring them up again when Zayne said, "and I'd like you to know that when you feel you are ready to talk to me, you will be welcome to at any moment."

The main reason she brought her eyes up was partly because he spoke again, but mostly because of the sheer shock that coursed through her.

And that confusion didn't fail to take over her paled face. Her mouth was parted and eyes unsure as they scanned over Zayne's neutral figure.

Zayne waited patiently as she took a few seconds. Eventually she closed her mouth and blinked, nodding at a pace she believed was normal, "uh- yeah. Yes, sure. Okay."

Zayne gave a short nod, "very well. Come downstairs when you are ready. Are you wanting to see Derek today seeing as you couldn't make the appointment yesterday, or shall I cancel-"

"No, I'd like to see him, please," Brynn said, she felt extremely guilty at not thinking about Derek yesterday. He must have been waiting hours whilst she was selfishly sobbing in her own hole of self pity. The man would be amazing to talk to right now.

Zayne clenched his fists at his sides, "very well then. I will see you downstairs at two o'clock. One hour to freshen up."

It was already one o'clock in afternoon? Brynn was bewildered. She'd fundamentally wasted over half her day. Granted, it was Saturday and she wouldn't have spent the day doing much, but it still felt wasted.

She slowly nodded, "okay."

Then Zayne went to leave properly, only stopping to reach for something at the end of the bed, which Brynn couldn't see until the blue bag was placed directly in front of her.

Her brother looked at the bag for four seconds then to her heated face, "do you know-"

"Yes," she responded fastly, reaching forward cautiously to take the bag.

Zayne let go of the handles, steadily, and nodded, allowing the girl to pull the bag closer into her lap.

When Zayne's presence actually left her room, Brynn looked from the door to the bag in her lap and only just at that moment felt the immense heat on her face.

They knew.

They knew, they knew and now that she had remembered it, she didn't want to leave her bed, nevermind her room.

Shoving the duvet off herself, she swung her legs over the right side of the bed, keeping the plastic bag in her grip. In the bathroom, she sat on the toilet lid and placed the bag on her lap, looking down at all its contents.

Her eyes scanned over the multiple packs of pads and even a hot water bottle. Her lips twitched upwards unsurely as she reached in to take the object out, confirming that it was, in fact, a water bottle.

Brynn smiled softly, a hot water bottle.

She decided to get a shower, because she felt like she needed it both physically and mentally. More physically.

However, after getting changed into the outfit for the day and standing in front of the bathroom mirror, it occurred to the twelve year old that a shower may not have been the best idea.

She didn't own a hair dryer. Nor did she have enough time to air dry it properly. She didn't know how to style her hair into anything except how it usually was- down. No one had done her hair since she was eight, or taught her how to.

So that left her with aggressively towel drying it. Head bent over and rubbing her hair roughly between the towel material and occasionally looking into the mirror to see if it was fully dry, only to sigh and bend her head over again.

Eventually, she gave up, knowing she'd have to deal with the fact that she'd have to go out with only semi-dry hair.

The girl had never thought of accessorising until today. She never actually had accessories to accessorise with, but now she had those rings from Mika and Jacob.

She wasn't sure if she should wear them, however, she wanted to look good, acceptable. Especially after the mess she made of herself last night.

It took a while to decide which fingers she wanted them on. She tried both rings on separate middle fingers, but that looked too weird. Then she tried left pinky finger and right forefinger, but that didn't feel right or fit right. The final time she tried right ring finger and left middle finger. That felt good.

She stood in front of the bathroom mirror and crossed her arms over her chest to see if it looked normal. She put her arms normal against her sides to see if it looked normal there too. She brushed some hair behind her left ear to see if her hand looked normal in the action, then she put the hair back on her face. She was satisfied.

Then came the part of actually going downstairs and entering the kitchen.

The only one sitting at the island was Callan, with only a glass of water in front of him.

Brynn furrowed her eyebrows, walking further in and inspecting the entire kitchen area for signs of somebody else. When she looked to her right towards the dining room area, she saw all of her brothers, bar Callan, sat in there, most definitely waiting for her to enter and take a seat.

But she did not want to go in there and take a seat. Instead, she took a seat to Callan's right. Callan looked down at the new presence and his face softened, "hey, sweetheart. How are you feeling?" He pushed the glass of water slightly over to Brynn's side.

"I'm okay, thank you." It was quiet between the two, Brynn already looking down to play with the new things on her fingers.

She looked up to Callan's face, "I'm sorry I ignored you yesterday."

Callan chuckled and huffed, "that's okay. I understand." Brynn nodded, happy with his understanding and a small weight lifted off her chest after apologising.

"Are you hungry at all? Would you like anything before you go out with Zayne?" Callan asked, already starting to get up out of his seat and going around the island.

Not to her surprise, she didn't feel the need for food at that moment, but weirdly, and unusually, she did want something to drink besides water. "Is there any of Brayden's smoothie left? The purple one?"

Callan spun around to the girl with a stunned look before he made a beeline straight to the fridge. "I'm sure he saved some for you..." he trailed off, opening the right side of the fridge and looking over the items in the door first, mumbling a small, "ah," when he saw the smoothie jug covered in clingfilm. "Here we are."

He closed the fridge with his foot, taking the clingfilm off the jug at the same time. "So," he started, placing the jug onto the counter, "where are you and Zayne going today?" He reached for the cups cupboard.

He made it sound like they were going on a fun sibling outing.

"Just to see Derek, because I didn't see him yesterday."

Callan's hand paused, reaching for the cupboard handle. "Oh," he replied, rather high pitched. He opened the cupboard and took a glass out, placing it on the counter loud enough for Brynn to worry that the glass would smash.

"You're really fond of Derek, aren't you, hun?" he said, pouring the smoothie into the glass.

Brynn nodded, "yeah, he's awesome."

Callan nodded back, still pouring the smoothie. "So long as he's helping."

"Yeah, he's really good to talk to. Like, really chilled out and relaxing."

"Oh really? That's good-"

"And he's funny too."

"I'm sure he is." Callan gripped the glass tighter, turning around to place it in front of her.

"Thank you," she said, already using her finger to play with the condensation on the outside of the glass before actually taking sip.

"You're welcome," Callan replied, cracking his right fingers mindlessly.

He relaxed his face and kept cracking them. "I'm happy he is helping you Brynn."

Brynn paused mid-sip, already three quarters finished. She slowly placed the glass back down. It stayed quiet between the two for a few seconds and when Brynn went to say something, Zayne called for her.

"Thank you for the drink." She picked the glass up to wash it herself, but Callan took it away, "go on, you. Don't be late."

Brynn nodded as he turned to wash the glass in the sink. She didn't mean to hover, yet she did so. Looking Callan up and down, she became in deep thought, pursing her lips the tiniest bit.

Callan shook the glass, getting any lingering water droplets off it; just as he placed the object on the drying rack, he huffed at the weight that plunged into his side and the two arms that held his torso in a strong hold.

"We'll hang out when I get back, okay? Unless you're working," Brynn mumbled into his work shirt.

Callan lightly kissed the top of her head and grinned, "no no, I'm not working. We'll do something."

After seven seconds, he started to release her, "alright, go on before Zayne, himself, comes for you." He gently pushed her forward by her back.

Brynn smiled, half speed-walking/ jogging to the kitchen door. Callan called for her once more when she got to the doorframe. With her right hand she held the side door frame and turned around with raised eyebrows and a questioning look.

Callan was leaned forward on both his hands on the kitchen island, nodding his head towards her, "the rings look nice."

Brynn blushed, looking towards her hand which rested on the doorframe, "really?"

The man nodded, smiling, "very much so."

She grinned, "thank you."

---

"So."

"Hi."

Brynn sat in her usual spot on the chair in Derek's office, legs criss-crossed and shoes on the floor in front of her; Derek sat in his usual arm chair, legs crossed the same.

"I'm sorry about not coming yesterday, something came up," Brynn said, shifting around and playing with the material of her pants.

Derek raised a hand, "no need to apologise or explain, Brynn. How have you been?"

Brynn shrugged, "alright."

The therapist raised an eyebrow, "alright?"

"Alright," she repeated.

Derek hummed, nodding his head with his lips pursed.

"Have you used that notebook yet?" he asked.

Brynn's right hand started to pick at the hangnails on her thumb, "no, not yet, sorry I haven't had the time to yet."

"That's no problem, use it in your own time and let me know if you do or need a new one, yes?"

Brynn nodded, finally managing to get her middle nail underneath her thumb hangnail to pick at it properly.

"How are things with your brothers?"

She nodded more firmly, "good, I think."

"Only think?"

"Well, they've been acting a little odd. It kind of started when you guys came over a few days ago."

Derek nodded, looking thoughtful, "hm, interesting."

"Didn't you notice something?"

"Who, me? I suppose so."

"Do you think they get annoyed that I'm there sometimes? And the problems I've caused already? Like Ezra 'nd Silas 'nd stuff," Brynn muttered, aggressively picking at the hangnail now and wincing when she managed to bring some of it up.

Derek furrowed his face, uncrossing his legs and leaning his elbows forward on his knees, "what, no, of course not, Brynn. They love you very much, you're their sister."

"Then why don't they like speaking to me or being in the same room as me."

Derek sighed, "because, Brynn, and this stays between us, they are idiots."

Brynn raised her eyebrows, a little shocked. Derek continued, "some people don't know what they have until what they haves' attention is given to another."

Brynn, for the first time, didn't really understand Derek's reference. Wasn't the reference supposed to be "don't know what they have until it's gone."

She pulled the hangnail some more, looking down at it. She really didn't understand most things at this point.

Derek received a downtrodden look from the twelve year old as she whispered, dejectedly, "what do I do? Should I just forget it and accept it? I really don't like bothering them."

Derek raised both of his hands, "okay, little one." He shifted in his seat to get more comfortable. "I can't tell you what to do exactly, but I can tell you that anything that they do to you, whether it's ignoring you or saying mean things, is not deserved. You did nothing. You are so deserving of love." He gave her that look he gives when he really means something and wants her to comprehend it properly.

"Don't give any attention to someone if you don't receive the same amount back."

Brynn highly doubted that those three would feel even remotely bad if she didn't give them attention. In fact, they'd probably be over the moon.

"If not giving them your attention isn't an option, then short, simple answers would work. And if you don't want to do any of that, then you don't have to do any of that. Just know that either way, you are loved- by all of them- even though some of them suck at expressing that."

Brynn nodded, kind of bummed out that her hangnail had already come off from picking at it too much.

Derek didn't take that. "Like really suck," he emphasised, nodding his head along and pulling a strong, dramatic, discontented face. Brynn felt her lips twitch upwards.

"Like if the most suckish person sucked at something, it wouldn't even compare to how much they suck at it," he grinned when Brynn started chuckling lightly.

And Derek kept going on about how much they sucked at expressing things, until he had Brynn full out belly laughing, finding it hard to breathe.

---

At nine pm in the Verlice household, a certain stress ball was being thrown back and forth by the two youngest Verlice siblings on the staircase.

Zach sat at the bottom and Brynn on the second step to the top because there's no way she could throw it from the bottom like Zach could.

"So," Zach started, launching the ball upwards effortlessly which Brynn caught with both hands.

"So," Brynn copied when Zach didn't say anything else, throwing the ball back down.

"How was your day?" the older asked.

"Alright, what about yours?" Brynn responded, catching the ball thrown upwards with both hands.

"Boring, did homework," Zach grumbled.

"Which subject?" She threw the ball back down.

"Economics."

Brynn pulled a face, she didn't have that subject. That was an A-level subject at their school. "Do you like economics?" she asked, catching the ball, then throwing it back down.

Zach shrugged, "I don't hate it, I only took it as an additional," he threw the ball back up, "subject because Callan recommended it."

Brynn nodded in understanding, reaching for the ball, but unable to catch it that time, leaving it to bounce off the step below her and back down to Zach who chuckled.

He threw it back up, this time higher so Brynn could catch it, only that time, it was too high. The girl reached for it, but the ball was just out of her reach, going over her fingertips. She sighed quietly, standing up to go get the ball back.

It landed on the floor right behind her and kept rolling backwards, down the long hallway. Brynn assumed it would do the thing balls normally do when they stopping rolling and curve slightly so it hit the wall, but it didn't.

It kept rolling down the hallway, clearly Zach's throw was powerful, or maybe Brynn didn't realise that the hallway was at a slight angle and the ball was just rolling down it?

It continued down the hallway in a slightly diagonal line, until it reached the end and hit the wall. Instead of stopping, however, it deflected back and went to the right.

Brynn heaved out a breath, trying to speed up her steps to catch up with it because it clearly wasn't slowing down.

She followed it down the next hallway and when the ball hit the end on that hallway, it went left. So she went left, her eyes following where the ball was supposed to be, only to be met with the floor.

She scrunched her eyebrows together, confused and looking up and paled when she saw Zaiden in the middle of the hallway- the ball in his right hand.

He was in his pyjamas, sweats, like Brynn was and gave Brynn a look when they made eye contact.

Brynn gulped to herself. She thought about walking away, which she usually would. But the ball was from Derek and she didn't want to lose it.

Taking a few reluctant steps further into the hallway, she stopped at four feet away from Zaiden. She took a deep breath, looking towards the ball in his hand and then back to his stoic face.

But then back to his hand again when she saw some red in that area. Her ball wasn't red.

She narrowed her eyes to Zaiden's hand, which was mostly a strong red and purple colour, to get a better look. It had a poorly put on bandage and it was clear that it was a poorly put on bandage because you could see the injuries colour quite clearly.

Zaiden followed her gaze, then cleared his throat, moving his hand behind his back. Now his hand and the ball were out of Brynn's viewpoint.

The girl moved both her hands behind her back and tangled her fingers together, "is your hand okay?" She didn't really listen to Derek's words.

Zaiden narrowed his eyes, "why didn't you tell me you spoke to Sid?"

Brynn's face dropped and it somehow felt like it got paler. "What's wrong with your hand? What did you do?"

She wanted to know, she was concerned. This was her brother and he was potentially injured. She wasn't okay with that.

Zaiden didn't say anything, thinning his lips out into a straight line, unsure what to say.

He opened his mouth to mutter a small, "nothing."

Brynn didn't reply, thinking about what she should say next. Thankfully, she didn't have to say anything next, Zaiden did.

He hesitated in what he wanted to say, his eyes trailing to the ground in front of Brynn, "don't tell Zayne."

Brynn chewed her bottom lip, there could be loopholes in this one. Because if she didn't tell Zayne, and Zayne didn't ask about it, then technically she didn't lie.

And Zaiden could handle injuries for himself, despite what his bandaging said.

And this was the first time Zaiden had asked her to do something for him and she felt a little uplifted at it, as pathetic as it sounded and as she felt when she thought about it.

Coming to her own conclusion, she brought her right hand out, "can I have the ball back then, please?"

Zaiden looked from her face to her hand and looked at it for three seconds before he nodded. He started walking forward until there was only half a foot between them. As he was getting closer, Brynn got more nervous, fighting the urge to step back herself. Zaiden has never willingly got this close to her.

He brought his hand back to the front, moving the ball to his fingers and bringing them to place the object on her palm.

His fingertips grazed her skin for a millisecond before he moved them away, meaning she couldn't get a better look at his battered hand like she'd thought she could.

Once his hand was away, she curled the rest of her hand around the object to secure it. "Thank you," she whispered, already taking steps backwards to make her way back to Zach, knowing Zaiden wouldn't want to speak to her any longer.

She rounded the hallway to the next one, pausing when she heard, "Brynn."

Her breath hitched softly and she backtracked a few of her steps to the hallway Zaiden still stood in.

"Thank you."

Brynn didn't really comprehend that the words actually came out of Zaiden's mouth. Not for a while, at least. And when she did comprehend them, Zaiden seemed very uncomfortable, picking at the bandage.

The youngest nodded slowly, "you're welcome."

Neither moved or said anything else, and it felt tense. After a few seconds, Zaiden rubbed at the side of his pants and muttered a, "right," taking a few glances at Brynn before turning to go down the hallway.

Brynn made her way back to Zach, who was just walking up to the top of the stairs. He breathed out, "there you are. Get lost, love?" Brynn took no notice of any teasing tone, still a little in shock. Zaiden said thank you. To her.

The girl nodded, "a little."

Zach didn't look convinced, but said nothing, instead choosing to ask if she wanted to go downstairs to get a snack with him and maybe watch something.

He was rooting through the fridge drawers for cans of coca cola when the two heard the front door open and shut loudly. Brynn jumped at the noise and listened to Ezra's pissed off voice speaking to someone.

His voice got closer, until he bid the person goodbye, giving away that he was on the phone. Brynn looked back to Zach who stood in front of the closed fridge, two unopened cans in his hands, with an unbothered look.

She looked back to the kitchen doorway, which now had a pissed off Ezra entering and storming through past her to Zach. The oldest snatched the can from the other's right hand, the latter not even moving.

Zach rolled his eyes subtly, opening the only can he had and handing it to Brynn who took it gratefully, but still didn't take her eyes off Ezra, who leaned against the kitchen counter by the sink, already gulping down some of the drink.

Zach went back to the fridge to get another can for himself as Ezra finished sipping and slammed his half empty can onto the counter.

When Zach had opened his own drink and had some, he gave his attention to Ezra and asked the question Brynn was wondering as she got herself up on one of the island stools. "What's up with you?"

What wasn't up with him usually? He'd never actually smiled before. Not to Brynn's knowledge.

Ezra shook his head as Brynn took a sip of her drink, "just some idiot," she liked the fizzy taste of it.

"What did Zach do now?" Brynn turned to the new voice, Silas, entering the kitchen.

He walked closer to the island, taking the seat to Brynn's left side and swiping the drink from her hand and having some for himself. She closed her mouth, pursing her lips a little.

Silas didn't look at her as he kept drinking. Zach started talking when he placed the can back down in front of Brynn.

"Ezra was talking about work."

"Ah," Silas replied, his expression giving off that he was used to Ezra's sour mood from work.

The four didn't say much, Zach and Ezra drinking some more of their drinks and Brynn doing her best to keep looking ahead so she didn't have to look at Silas.

Only when Brayden entered did the atmosphere change. "Those better not be cokes I'm seeing half nine at night?" he said, sternly.

Zach stopped drinking and brought the can back down onto the counter to slide behind his back. Silas slid Brynn's drink to in front of him and Ezra continued holding his drink, not so much as in the firing line as the other three were.

Brayden came up to the island, standing closest to Brynn, "hey, sweetheart, how was your day?Did you see Derek?"

Ezra slammed his can down onto the counter.

Brynn nodded, "yes, it was good."

Brayden tensed his jaw, "good good." Brynn wasn't sure about the awkward silence which followed it.

Silas took another gulp of his drink and Brynn started playing with the rings which were still on her fingers and proved to be a very comforting thing to mess with when she felt unnerved.

The movement had Zach's full attention, "are those the rings Mika and Jacob gave you?" Silas placed his can back onto the counter.

Brynn nodded, smiling down at them, "yeah, they are. I like them."

"They look lovely," Brayden said softly, taking a hand himself to get a better look at them.

Zach looked down at them again, "yes, they do look very nice," he said, matching Brayden's voice.

And the five had allowed the silence to come back, it only being broken by Brynn when she asked how work went for Brayden.

He let go of her hand to go over the fridge and get a bottle of juice whilst he answered, "good, it was good. Not much happened." Opened drink in hand, he went back over to stand where he previously stood.

"How was everybody else's day?" he asked the rest of them. Ezra shrugged, "normal."

Zach answered, "boring," and Silas took another sip of Brynn's drink before answering, "normal."

---

fucking gaslit by my own message board for this chapter. i love it.

Do you guys have any questions? Like, about anything. Cus just ask them, I'll answer when I read through these comments.

<3