It just felt like he was everywhere. No matter how many times the duvet was brought up to her crinkled eyes.

The feeling of him was everywhere, enough to make her shiver underneath the duvet.

She needed to check.

She needed to check behind each door because that would be an easy hiding place for him.

But whenever she went to even think about checking, an unseeable force squashed her back down into the mattress.

Occasionally, adrenaline would surge through her, enough to make her get up off the bed, allow the cool, prickly air to pinch her skin and open the bathroom door, making sure he wasn't there.

Once the adrenaline fizzled away, she retreated back under the sheets, back to cowering at the feeling of him all around.

It was a vicious cycle.

A cycle that was only interrupted whenever someone slid a small meal into her room for her to eat. The only current comfortable way she liked to eat.

A cycle that was only interrupted by the occasional chime from Brynn's phone, from Penny or Aubrey asking if she were okay. She always responded yes, thank you and asked the question back.

She didn't feel okay.

And she felt lazy in her bed all the time.

Sitting at the desk to do homework was her only distraction and a stressful one at that. She hadn't attempted her homework since her last attempt at her physics homework, which ended in frustrated, paper-scrunching tears because she couldn't figure out the stupid elastic potential potential of the stupid elastic thingy.

Her entire wardrobe had been reorganised. She didn't know where she had found the time to do that. Or the energy.

The places where her shoes were, was now where her socks were. The places her jumpers hung, was now where her school shirts were hung and the places her pyjamas were folded, were now the places which held, well, her re-folded pyjamas.

It just felt like nothing.

And at the end of the day, once she shuffled her way throughout the entire expanse of her room, she retreated back under the covers, the overwhelming presence of what she could only assume to be Milo overtaking all senses.

Walking to a different spot in the room was frequent. Just to stand there and look around, only to do the exact same in a spot a few metres away as if that was any different.

The window was one of her favourites, but it always reminded her of the one from the library. No window could compare to that one.

And at one point, she found herself hovering over a bath she ran. The steam from the boiling water rising and the crackling of the cloudy bubbles taking over any sound in the silent room.

She turned her head to recheck the door was locked and then re-looked at the steaming bath.

Slowly, a leg was placed into it, the goosebumps on it going down as the heat melted them away. And then she was stood in it.

Lowering down and down further, she felt covered. Warmly covered.

Her first bath in over four years and she didn't get out until the water got too cold. It took a while to motivate herself into drying off.

But eventually she ended up back in her pyjamas. She found herself back where she started.

And then she ended up pacing over the carpet that was at the end of her bed. Walking from one side, then turning around when her toes grazed the edge of it, repeating this action until she felt a simmering feeling of agitation in her stomach.

She didn't know what to do.

It didn't matter how many times she berated herself for ignoring her brothers, she still couldn't bring herself to leave her room. They didn't do anything.

Space was all she simply desired. To be left alone with the wallowing thoughts that consumed every nook and cranny of her brain.

Facing her brothers again like normal, she felt would be a challenge. The sheer ignominy she felt over what had happened was overwhelming.

Milo got to her again.

Half-way through the week, Brynn's brain couldn't stop ravelling with anxious thoughts.

She was missing school.

There could be things she needed to do.

She wasn't speaking to her brothers.

They might've thought she was being pathetic.

That thought made her curl in on herself with a scrunched, tearful face.

And there was one thought that recurred, painfully.

Milo was never going to leave her.

The already curled position she found herself in proved useful when she couldn't be bothered to move at that thought, only sob.

---

"Knock knock?"

Brynn remained where she lay, only having woken up a while ago, but her eyes shot downwards towards the direction of the door. Milo didn't like to knock.

She heard the door handle twitch, her eyes shooting down to it and watching the metal move.

Slower and slower, the door opened, a figure stepping in. Milo didn't walk cautiously either.

"Alright, kiddo?"

The bottom of the bed dipped on the right side, making Brynn turn inwardly a little on the bed. Milo didn't look like Mika either.

She lifted the duvet up a bit more, hoping to conceal the red tear tracks mapping her face as much as possible. "Yeah, I'm alright," she whispered softly, "how are you?"

It had been a while since she'd seen Mika. She darted her eyes back onto the bathroom door.

Mika hummed, "I've been alright. You know that working for your brother isn't always sunshines and roses."

Brynn almost cracked a teary smile, "no?"

Mika chuckled, lightly, "definitely not. Totally not my favourite Verlice either."

"No?" She couldn't really bring herself to respond differently.

"No. I believe I've always been fond of the youngest. The coolest, in my opinion."

Brynn brought the duvet up a little more again, to cover, mainly, the red tracks, but partly the blush creeping its way up her neck.

"Liar," she whispered, with a chuckly sniff.

A soft, barely audible gasp escaped Mika, movement from the corner of Brynn's eye led her to believe his hand was on his chest. "I would never."

Brynn hummed, subtly using the top of the duvet to wipe her face.

The awkwardness that clung onto the silence was felt immensely by the girl, so much so that the distraction of wiping her face with the covers didn't really work. She swore she heard Mika open his mouth a couple of times, but no words actually came out.

Not until she found some to say, "why did you come up?"

"Because I wanted to see you, is that okay with you?"

He didn't ask it rhetorically, or condescendingly. It didn't seem that way to Brynn, at least.

Her arms shuffled upwards a little, "it's okay."

Mika nodded, "good." He waited a few moments. "I'd like for you to know that you can talk to me." Brynn's hand brought the covers down slightly, enough for her to see his face fully and for him to see her face fully.

"I know I'm not one of your brothers, but I do consider all of you my family. I'd say you're my own little sister if it didn't get my head cut off," he chuckled, light heartedly. The air around sombered as he continued, "so, just, talk to me, if you ever need to."

Brynn stared for a few seconds, eying his serious-looking face, then trailing them down to his suit-covered, straight-postured position which wasn't giving any sign of threat.

Milo never spoke in such a soft way.

Mika went on, "even if it's gossip or something. I love a bit of gossip, we can gossip about your brothers, yeah? About Jacob? He's highly irritating. Or about the people at your school-"

He was cut off by two arms tangling themselves around whatever part of his torso they could. In reflex, his arms rose, coming back down the second he got a look at the mop of brown hair on his chest. "There you go," he mumbled, softly.

Gently rocking backwards and forwards, he placed his left hand to the back of her head, "you just needed some space, hm?"

Brynn nodded into him, her hands weakly gripping his taut work suit. She paused her blinking, focusing on the middle button of the suit, before she whispered, "I don't mean to shut them out."

"We all need our space, it's understandable." Especially in your case he wanted to say, but he didn't.

His left hand went halfway down her hair before it returned to the top to repeat the action, "it's nothing to feel bad about. You cope how you'd like to Brynn. And if this is your way, then so be it. We'll still be here."

She held on stronger, "thank you."

Brynn had always heard that speaking to someone about your problems helped. She never really believed it, not if the person couldn't relate, nor if the person couldn't miracally smooth over her brain with a cloth that could erase each and every memory which tormented her.

And she doesn't know how to take the fact that she had been proven wrong. Because Derek helped. Derek really helped. And now Mika was helping.

And she didn't know if she liked that it helped to talk about how she was feeling. Penny and Aubrey didn't have to talk to a therapist about what they were feeling. Zach didn't, Callan didn't, Brayden didn't. It made her different.

But, yet every time she brought herself to reminisce those thoughts, she always found herself one step closer to wanting to talk about how she was feeling more.

So, that evening, she sat cross-legged in the middle of her bed, her phone laid out in front of her on speaker.

She twiddled her thumbs round and round as the person picked up on the second ring.

"Brynn, are you okay?"

Brynn nodded, even though he couldn't see her, and swallowed, "hey, Derek."

"Hello, little miss. How is your day going?"

Brynn nodded awkwardly again, cringing at herself. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to call him.

"It's-"

"Good?"

Brynn closed her mouth.

"Fine?"

She sucked in her lips.

"Come on, I think I know you well enough by now, Brynn. What have you done today?"

She ran her tongue along both lips simultaneously, "not much. Just stayed in my room all day." She twiddled with the ring on her left middle finger. "What did you do?"

"Well, I was in the office all day and I am currently at home, about to order a chinese seeing as I cannot cook for the life of me," his deep, low chuckle vibrated from the phone, through the bed. Brynn subconsciously found the edges of her lips twitch up as she continued playing with the ring.

"You should ask Callan or Brayden to give you some tips," she furrowed her eyebrows and gave the ring a more concentrated look, "they're very good at cooking."

Derek chuckled once more, "yes, they are." He let the conversation go silent and so did Brynn, still twisting the ring.

Brynn allowed the edges of her lips to properly curl upwards, "is it harder to speak to me because you can't tell what facial expressions I'm pulling?"

The man laughed a little louder than his previous chuckles, "oh, Brynn, your voice can tell me everything I need to know. I didn't graduate top of my class for nothing."

Brynn's lips morphed into a more tighter position, "show off."

He moved on, "speaking of Callan and Brayden, have you spoken to them?"

The girl lifted her head up, "how did you know I wasn't speaking to them?"

"Top of my class, Brynn."

Brynn made a small noise of disbelief and lowered her head again, "they probably just told you that."

"No, they didn't. Contrary to any belief you may have, Brynn, what we talk about and what goes on with you stays between you and your brothers as it does between you and me. I don't talk about what we talk about to them and I never will, unless I believe you are unsafe. Not only is that a rule, it is also due to the fact that I have a terrible amount of respect for you."

She looked up with her eyes at the phone, as if it was Derek himself. "Anything personal between you and your brothers, stays between you and your brothers. I will admit, not at first when you first came to live with them, but they have grown, Brynn. They are starting to understand what personal is for you. Even if some are idiots that aren't very good at showing it."

Brynn smiled properly, "yeah some of them are idiots."

Derek's smile was felt through the phone, "they're your idiots though Brynn. You have seven, occasionally idiotic brothers who would change the world for you." Brynn pulled a face, not entirely believing that part, but not saying anything else either. Derek left it.

"So, would you like to tell me the main reason you called me? Or shall we talk about something else?"

Lips pursed and posture straightening, Brynn decided she still wanted to talk about her feelings.

"I've not been feeling too good, recently."

"In what way?"

"Emotionally. I just feel a bit..." her eyes lingered over a few spots in her room, staying on the eerie bathroom where the door was a quarter open, "everywhere."

She got up and softly padded her way to the door to close it as quick as possible, climbing back onto her bed straight after.

"You are feeling a lot of things and you feel none of them are being felt, or coped with, in the correct way?"

Brynn furrowed her eyebrows and took a minute, her right thumb and forefinger squishing her left thumb in between. That was the most sense that could be made out of her emotions. "Yeah."

"Is there a particular motion which is overtaking the rest? One you can identify?"

She took her time answering this one.

"I feel like I did a few months ago, when I first came here," Derek let the quietness happen as she took more time to answer. "Like Milo is still here. And that he never actually left. He's still here in some way."

"Do you feel as though one of your brothers is some way?"

"No." Brynn was quick to answer that one. Never. Not anymore. Sid was some way.

"I never feel like they'd be some way. I can't imagine them as some way. Not even Ezra," she said the last part a little quieter, but still with wholehearted belief.

She thought about it, unsure about how much she wanted to share. "Somebody else became some way, my brothers stopped them though, but..." the ring was twiddled with again, "they still managed to become an embodiment of Milo. And I don't like that."

The man on the other line took seven seconds to reply. "Do you fear your memories of Milo integrating with your current life?"

"I can't fear it happening, it already has. I just," she took a deep, hearty breath, "I don't like that I'm allowing it to happen. That I'm allowing myself to feel like he is everywhere, slowly manifesting himself into each and every aspect of my life he can." He wasn't sure if she had finished speaking and neither was she. "Does that make me weak?"

"No," he responded immediately.

"Never, Brynn. Nothing could make you weak. You are so so strong and you are so much stronger than him. You have the power to control the things in your life now, Brynn. Something you always should have had, but was cruelly neglected of at such a young age. Where you are now, you are safe. You have the choice to ask for things you wish for, voice your thoughts and opinions, you can say what you please and do what you would like." Soaking his words up, Brynn nodded and sniffed, suddenly aware of the cool tears escaping her eyes.

"But for god's sake do not apply the last thing I said to your bedtime, Zayne would kill me." Brynn let out a half choked sob and laugh.

Derek chuckled tenderly after his words, speaking again, once Brynn stopped sniffling. "This new place you are in, Brynn, in yours and your brothers' home, you are so safe." Brynn looked around her room, leisurely, taking her time to soak in the surroundings.

"The place you are in is untouched by him. He holds no control or power over anything where you are, nor over you. This is your place. Purely yours and he is not allowed to be there. Do not allow him to be. It's all yours."

He heard a sniff through the phone and some shuffling on the bed, presumably from slight shifting. Brynn nodded rapidly, her face making that stupid scrunching expression again like it had been doing for days as she constantly found herself teetering on the edge of breaking down.

Once she'd took a deep inhale to say a soft yeah, she couldn't keep it in as much as she wanted to. A miniscule sob was heard through Derek's speaker, causing him to wince and suck in his own lips, harshly, as he blinked away any fogginess in his own eyes.

Then he heard a small, "thank you," on the other end, making his stance deflate slightly with some relief. "Anytime, little miss."

Brynn snorted, finishing wiping under her eyes.

"Now," Derek changed his tone to a more playful one. "Would you like to know what I'm going to be ordering for my tea?" Brynn chuckled some more. "Because I believe you may want to take some notes."

---

"Snap."

Brynn pulled a face looking at the pile of cards, then groaning when she saw that the top two matched.

She looked up to Zach's grinning face as he collected the rather generous-sized pile into both hands and aligning the cards correctly.

"I'm not sure if I'm happy about the fact that I said yes to you teaching me how to play 'Snap'," she mumbled, jokingly, looking at him, but also rubbing the skin of her left thumb between her right thumb and forefinger.

Zach added the larger pile to his shorter one, "don't hate the player, sorellina," he teased, that grin never leaving his face.

Brynn pursed her lips, bringing up the cards in her right hand and narrowing her eyes at them when she only saw seven left. "But it's easier to hate the player."

Zach chuckled, looking back up from his large amount of cards which were now laying face down on his left palm.

The two sat on her bedroom floor, Brynn's back against the seat at the end of her bed, in contrasting outfits. Brynn in her comfortable grey joggers and jumper and Zach in his scratchy, scruffy uniform with his bag flung somewhere in the room

They had been playing for a while, the room gradually getting darker as the sun set, but yet no light was turned on and both were unconsciously adjusting to the dim light from playing since daylight, when Zach came home from school.

"Okay, ready?" Zach asked, placing a few of his right fingertips onto the top of the pile in his left hand. Brynn nodded, doing the same, but with her left fingertips and right palm. "You can go first."

Brynn's pinky twitched, she wasn't sure if she wanted to go first, she only had seven cards.

She went nevertheless, quickly laying down an eight of clubs, Zach soon laying down a nine of hearts after at the same speed. Straight after, she laid down her next card on top of his one, eight of hearts.

Her left fingers and hand jerked a little, almost going for it because of the similarity of the two recent cards.

A side of Zach's mouth rose upwards, his eyes catching the action.

He kept his eyes on Brynn's face, whilst Brynn was fully concentrated on the pile of cards in the middle.

Zach put down his next card; king of spades. Then Brynn went; ace of diamonds.

The game was played at a consistent speed, until Brynn got to her last one.

She placed it over Zach's seven of clubs and prepared herself to accept defeat, however, when she removed her hand, she checked the number of the card.

Seven of hearts.

Her hand whipped out, before she actually told it to, across and on top of the pile, "snap!"

Zach's face held a tightened smile as he rose his hands, "you got me."

Brynn grinned, taking the pile and aligning them much like Zach had. Although it was less than Zach's winnings, she couldn't get rid of the daft smile overtaking her face.

She looked back up at Zach with much brighter eyes, but furrowed her eyebrows at his expression. "You okay?"

Zach blinked, smiling, "very much so."

He got ready to start another game, when his eyes caught his backpack on his right, lazily lounging on the floor. His eyes caught it, then they went back to his cards, then back to the backpack when he remembered something. On the last look, his head turned with his eyes.

Reaching out and outstretching his right arm as much as possible, his fingers skimmed the backpack's material before they curled around it and dragged it to his lap.

Brynn watched as he undid the zipper and reached inside, bringing out something.

When the object was out, Zach, once again, discarded his backpack to the right with little to no grace. He held out the item to Brynn, a book. The one she was reading before Sid... which she didn't want to think about.

The book, on the other hand, the Matilda book, she wanted that back, desperately.

She'd left it with her things when she took off. She knew that those things were found by her brothers, but they hadn't been returned to her just yet. Now the Matilda book has.

If possible, her eyes got brighter, defying the looming darkness rapidly overtaking the room.

She really liked this Matilda book.

"I thought you'd like it back to read, I know you've been enjoying it and it's been sat in your school bag for ages."

Brynn took the item with her most precious intent, both hands holding each side and taking it out of Zach's hold, turning it around to look at it properly.

She grinned down at it and then up at Zach, "thank you very much."

Zach smiled, "any time."

Brynn looked back down at the cover, taking in its details which she had longed for whilst letting herself be cooped up in her room. Then she got an idea.

She took another once over of the cover and then at Zach. The book was moved to only her left hand as she used her right one as leverage to get up.

"Where are you going?" Zach asked, rather fast.

"I just need to do something, I'll be back in a minute?" Brynn replied, moving the book back into both hands.

Zach nodded, gathering all the piles of cards up, "okay, sure. I'll set up a new game so I can teach you how to play proper cards."

Brynn nodded and passed him to get to the door, now only really taking in the dimness of the room.

She switched on the main light as she exited, so Zach could see the cards better and then actually stepped out into the hallway.

It felt weird. After not stepping out of her room in a while, it felt slightly abnormal. Very abnormal. Sort of like when she first stepped out into this hallway after being in her bedroom for the very first time.

Only this time, she had a different mindset. This was her home.

She walked down the hallway, book still in both hands and the further steps she took, the more the pressure of her grip increased.

The only time the grip was half released was when she got to the staircase, where the book was moved the her right hand so her left one could hold the railing.

As she descended down each step, more and more thoughts swirled around, the main topic amongst all of them being what she was currently doing.

She remembered Derek. You have the choice to ask for things you wish for.

She took a deep breath, going towards her best bet at finding Callan or Brayden, the kitchen.

Callan was in there, which made her steps a little less hesitant, but she hadn't anticipated Zayne being in there too, Callan being directly on the other side of the island and Zayne to his left, on the side of the island. They looked like they were talking about work.

Brynn felt like she could strongly guess what most of her brothers' conversations were about from enough observation. It was always in their tones.

Zayne being there did cause he to hover at the doorway, though.

And this hovering couldn't be recovered by quickly backing out because she already had the attention of the two men.

The book was back in both hands.

Neither greeted her, waiting for whichever decision she made. The decision she made was to not leave.

Still in a tight grip the book was, but Brynn's mind set itself when it restated the words again. You have the choice to ask for things you wish for.

She came up to the sitting side of the island, hesitantly lifting the book up to place on the countertop as she looked up at the tall men, who both looked down and waited patiently.

Gulping, she slid it forward as much as her arm length would allow. You have the choice to ask.

The two men looked down at the item that was slid in front of them.

They each observed the cover, Callan with furrowed eyebrows and a quizzical look.

Zayne assumed first, "you'd like the original copy?"

Callan remained looking at the cover, but Brynn rose her head to make eye contact with Zayne with a confused look.

He looked pretty serious.

Brynn shook her head, her face feeling more cherry.

Her eyes shifted repetitively from the two older men, her two older brothers.

"I'd like to watch the movie, please."

At that, Callan looked up. Brynn's hands joined at the front, each finger and thumb finding the other and pushing against each other. Then she locked her hands together.

When the two men said nothing, she unlocked them and clasped them behind her back, feeling very fidgety at this moment.

She looked for the movie a few days prior, before what happened. Both her lips pursed inwards into the other. "I couldn't find it when I looked."

Zayne didn't have a look, but Callan's looked to be bordering on semi-proud and semi-relieved. His eyebrows were raised and it looked like the edges of his lips were refraining from rising. "Very well then."

Zayne said the next thing, "we shall get that movie for you."

Brynn was taken back, her right foot even going back a bit.

She asked.

And they said yes.

They weren't annoyed that she had asked for something, even after days of not speaking to them.

They didn't say no immediately.

They didn't question why she needed to watch this film.

They simply said yes.

Her eyebrows were up and her mouth parted as she took in what her brothers had just said.

Eventually, she closed her mouth and unclasped her fidgeting hands. "Thank you."

---

things are going really nicely.

it:)would:)be:)a:)bummer:)if:)someone:)ruined:)that:)

jkjk

you are very loved and beautiful fyi. don't let anything that is happening convince you otherwise.

<3