simon noticed that ivy had left him on read. he understood why she did not want to message back and talk about the situation, but he was also annoyed at her for not telling him. she was able to tell him the truth about how she felt, why couldn't she admit that cal tried to throw himself at her?

cal openly told simon himself after the guilt consumed him. he was angry at himself, simon was one of his closest friends and he attempted to kiss his ex girlfriend who simon clearly still had feelings for - all the guys could notice it - and he was ashamed of himself. although ivy accepted his apology, he felt as though he still owed simon one and he was confident that ivy would have already told him, but his instincts weren't quite correct.

laying on his bed, completely zoned out, music played through a speaker beside him, but the lyrics only sounded like mumbles. simon was completely lost in his own mind, he couldn't stop his thoughts from racing and overwhelming him. ivy was constantly on his mind, thinking about what had happened between them the previous day, both of them admitting their feelings for one another and now being stuck on why she chose not to tell him about cal. even earlier in the day, at the sidemen shoot, he was far from himself, he was distanced from the rest of the guys even when he was sat right next to them.

the whole situation appeared to be a lot more complicated than it was. two ex's still not over one another? it would appear simple to everyone else, but for ivy and simon it was far from that. simon knew they broke up for a reason, he was too busy and began to treat her like something he had on the side rather than his girlfriend. it was as though ivy was someone he could go to when he was stressed and she would comfort him, or when he needed help and she was someone to cuddle when he felt like it. although his feelings for her remained, he felt guilty for knowing that he was just as busy as back when they were together and he feared that he could not make enough time for her, even if he did have a better schedule.

sighing, he glared at the multiple messages pile in from the lads groupchat. he rolled is eyes at the numerous notifications, finally pressing on the messages.

troops harry: anyone fancy a drink tonight? ethan: yeah go on lad lux: where? cal: dunno, just go to a bar or something lux: sure

he grumbled, the last thing he wanted to do was go out for a drink. especially with them.

troops simon: nah, busy ethan: come on minter jj: you're not busy though? simon: you're not even going jj: yeah i know lux: don't be boring simon simon: fine.

huffing, he dragged his feet from the comfort of his bed and trudged in the direction in the living room, in search of jj. he spotted jj in the kitchen, heating up some food, "why?" simon threw his hands in the air.

"you've been sat in your room all day, not even working." jj raised his eyebrows.

"and now i have to go out with them." he muttered, letting out an elongated sigh, "last thing i want to do is go out with cal."

"bro," jj turned his head to look at him, "he apologised to you, it was a mistake," he shrugged, "get over it, you've been in such a bad mood since you saw ivy yesterday."

simon furrowed his eyebrows, "no i haven't." he said sternly.

"yes you have."

"no i haven't."

"whatever." jj muttered, plating up his food, "you're so stubborn." he shook his head.

"why would i be in a bad mood?" simon asked.

"well i don't know," jj walked towards the table, "you've not told me why she was here yesterday, so how am i supposed to know?"

"i told you, it was nothing important." simon looked to the floor.

"tell that to your face." jj raised an eyebrow, tucking into his food, "i'm just saying," he looked up at simon with a mouth full of food, "you've been really weird recently."

"well i haven't," simon rolled his eyes in response, "but whatever." he murmured, walking back in the direction of his bedroom to get ready after being pressured into going out. maybe going out with the lads could take his mind off of her? but he was still furious at cal for his actions and feared it could potentially be a very awkward night.

after getting ready, he debated with himself as to whether it was a good idea. staying at home, trapped in his thoughts, sounded like a much better idea than going out drinking. he wished he had made himself busy, such as deciding to stream, but instead he chose to slump in his bed all day which he instantly regretted.

arriving at the bar, he was instantly greeted by the lads already there. he raised his eyebrows and offered them a small smile before sliding himself in at the end of the table beside ethan and opposite lux, who was unfortunately sat next to cal. they had also been joined by vik and tobi, who was not drinking, but just wanted to get out of his flat for some time. "i'm not having a late one tonight boys." tobi's head peered around the table.

"me neither." simon shook his head before glancing at cal ordering a round of drinks for the table.

"you alright, lad?" ethan questioned simon beside him.

"mhm." he nodded his head slowly in response, "just tired, not been sleeping well."

"oh, how come?" lux raised an eyebrow.

"dunno," simon shrugged his shoulders, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck, "probably just having one of those weeks." he exhaled. he knew the exact reason why he was not sleeping well and it was all because of the confusion with ivy.

their eyes followed the many drinks being carried over to the table, simon instantly taking a hefty gulp of his pint to ease the tension. he was only surrounded by his best friends, yet his body was seized up as though he was faced with a bunch of strangers. never mind people who he had known for years.

simon barely involved himself in the conversation unless someone forced him to which he would only respond with a blunt answer. he instead sat sipping on his pint, scrolling through his socials. flicking through instagram stories, he came across ivy's and immediately sighed to himself, noticing that she had ordered a takeaway and was watching a movie with sage and esme. he wished he was doing that instead.

"simon?" the mention of his name caused him to quickly bring his head up, only for it to be cal asking for his attention.

"hmm?" simon raised his eyebrows, resting his phone on the table.

"you alright, brother? you just seem distant."

"yeah," simon nodded his head slowly, "i'm fine mate." he shrugged his shoulders, gulping down the rest of his pint.

"good, just checking." a small smile formed on cal's lips.

simon took a deep breath in, no longer wanting to pay attention to the boy sat diagonally across from him.

"you're annoyed at him, aren't you?" ethan whispered, nudging simon's arm with is elbow.

"why would i be?" simon furrowed his eyebrows.

"you know exactly why," ethan raised his eyebrows, "but he did apologise, he was pretty fucked, we all were."

"yeah, i know." simon cleared his throat, "just a bit of a joke, ain't it?"

"well yeah," ethan cocked his head, "but we all told him afterwards that he was a dick for doing that, even ivy went home straight after."

"hmm." simon chewed the inside of his cheek.

"did she not tell you?"

shaking his head, simon humphed and looked down at the table, "nah."

"oh, thought she might've done, i think he just felt guilty and wanted to apologise about it himself." ethan exhaled, taking a sip of his drink, "honestly mate, there's no point in holding a grudge against it."

"i'm not holding a grudge. i literally found out this morning when he messaged me." simon glared at ethan with a puzzled expression.

"well yeah," ethan huffed, "but you know what i mean? like, there's no point being mad about it here." taking a final gulp of his drink, ethan slammed the pint glass down on the table and turned his attention to everyone else, "i'll get another round in."

simon's attention was instantly averted back to his phone whilst he waited for another drink, ignoring everything else around him. he was frustrated, fed up and ready for his bed. even if he had been laid in it all day.

the drinks finally arrived, only for simon to take another large gulp from the pint and wipe the white foam away from his lips.

"you spoke to ivy recently, simon?" tobi questioned, raising his voice as he was sat on the other side.

"erm," simon took a deep breath in, "not really." he lied.

"oh," tobi frowned, "neither have i really."

"i mean," simon shrugged his shoulders, "i saw her yesterday, but wasn't really anything important," he cleared his throat, "and then before that -"

"was when you fucked her?" harry joked, but simon instantly glared at the boy.

with furrowed eyebrows, simon blinked with a blank expression a couple of times, "how do you know about that?"

"oh, erm," harry scratched his chest awkwardly, "sage baited her out by accident when we were drinking the other night."

"yeah," ethan nodded slowly, "it was a complete accident to be fair."

"oh, right." simon sighed, "well, i guess people were bound to find out at some point."

"yeah, probably." lux pulled an awkward face at simon.

rolling his eyes, he took a sip of his pint whilst the table began to have their own conversation. but suddenly, everything seemed to piece together in his mind, "wait." simon raised his voice, everyones attention turning back to him.

"yeah?" vik glanced at simon with a puzzled expression.

simon's eyes instantly glared at cal, "so, you found out that ivy and i slept together and then you tried to make a move on her?"

the atmosphere thickened, all of the boys exchanged glances as cal's eyes widened, "i - i," he stuttered, "well, yeah, but -"

"this is what i mean when i say it's a fucking joke, ethan." simon turned to ethan, a look of bitterness sweeping across his face, "why?" he turned back to cal.

"look, i was really fuck-"

"i get it, i get it," simon's cheeks burned red from anger, "you were fucked, i've heard that one too many times now, mate." he sneered, "but where's the respect?"

"ivy said the exact same thing, i didn't respect either of you that night and i'm sorry." cal brought a hand to his heart, "i get that i fucked up, but can we get past it?"

simon raised an eyebrow, "but you knew," he pointed, "you knew that ivy and i slept together and if i'm honest, that doesn't change anything. even if we didn't sleep together, she's still my ex girlfriend."

"i've apologised, i don't know what else to say?"

the guys still remained in silence, not wanting to even make the smallest noise - until harry piped up, "to be fair," he stared at cal, "it is obvious that simon still has feelings for ivy."

"oh fucking hell." simon exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air, "when will people keep their noses out of mine and ivy's business."

"maybe when you and ivy start speaking up about your feelings?" ethan's focus remained on the table below him.

"it's no ones business." simon shook his head, he was infuriated, "let us deal with things on our own, fucking hell." and they were genuinely trying to deal with things on their own, but everyone else seemed to be pulling them further apart.

"lad, you couldn't even deal with things on your own when you were together, that's why you broke up." cal muttered.

simon downed the rest of his pint on the spot before slamming the glass back down onto the table, glancing around the table, "right, well i'm going home."